What do you say when this happens to you?

knittingwitch
knittingwitch Posts: 231 Member
in Chit-Chat
So at work yesterday I was cleaning the shelves when my co-worker's husband comes in to change his wife's vacation days in the work calender. He stops what he's doing and I can feel him looking at me so I turn around to see what he wants.
As soon as I turned around he asked how do you do that? I said, do what?
he said, lose all that weight and keep it off.
So I told him that I eat 1200 try to keep it all on the healthy side so I get filled more, then I work out about 1 hour a day 7 days a week. Plus I eat my calories that I earned form working out.
His response to this was I wish I had time to work out its hard when you have kids. I just looked at him like are you kidding me I have a two year old and you have three teen boys.
Then he said oh but you have a kid don't you? I said, yes and she likes to workout with me.

Personally I think its his own business if he wants to lose weight or not I don't care I actually don't like this guy.
But I fined it to be so annoying when people ask me how I did it and when I tell them they come up with some excuse why they can't do it.
Is this their way of making polite conversation, or are they afraid I'm judging them?
What do you guys say to this? Is it annoying to you, or do you take it as a complement?
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Replies

  • sexymuffintop
    sexymuffintop Posts: 636
    I have literally no idea why this conversation would offend or bother you in any way? Am I missing the point here?
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,393 Member
    What should he have said?
  • myrahonbarrier
    myrahonbarrier Posts: 191 Member
    Because they WANT to hear you say "oh I took this pill or that pill and the weight magically fell off of me"...they do NOT want to hear that you actually have to watch what you eat and exercise!

    I just say "i'm doing it the ONLY way that really works and last, exercise and eating right"
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Because they want to believe that you have some advantage over them and that's why you lost weight and they didn't.
  • IamSheaMc
    IamSheaMc Posts: 1,273 Member
    someone noticed you lost weight and asked for pointers and you are bother? :frown:
  • What316
    What316 Posts: 563
    Wow you look great ...... How dare you say that to me don't ever talk to me again...... Ahh ok?
  • bigphatcat
    bigphatcat Posts: 7,843 Member
    There has to be a desire to want to do it. He is looking for the easy way....gimmick or pills or fad. The only way is to put in time and effort and he doesn't want to. However, I would not be bothered by this
  • alglenn2013
    alglenn2013 Posts: 97 Member
    oh god...Worse conversations can happen:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • alglenn2013
    alglenn2013 Posts: 97 Member
    I wonder if what he really meant was "Wow, I really wish I had your determination"
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
    I am confused. Is this post supposed to be bragging that you got a compliment from a man or ragging on people who say they don't have time to work out? It's one or the other I just can't figure out which one it is. Or is it both? Clarifying this will help me help you with your dilemma.
  • Mavrick7a
    Mavrick7a Posts: 1,353
    Because they WANT to hear you say "oh I took this pill or that pill and the weight magically fell off of me"...they do NOT want to hear that you actually have to watch what you eat and exercise!

    I just say "i'm doing it the ONLY way that really works and last, exercise and eating right"

    @OP - I have had similar discussions with many people. First they ask how you were able to do it, then make excuses. We know that it takes hard work, otherwise everyone would be in shape right? :laugh:
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    i would say he is hot for you.
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
    He's not ready to do the work yet, for whatever reason.

    There's no quick fix. Most people here on MFP were fat for awhile before they finally got down to losing it. He's just not at that point yet, and may never be.
  • HJMAYES
    HJMAYES Posts: 72 Member
    I frickin' HATE it when people do that to me! I tell them it's about what I eat, how much I work out, etc. and then they say something like "well, I have to put my kids first in my life right now" - somehow implying that I don't.
    Those people have problems and excuses - at a tight race between the two. Don't make them your excuses or problems. They asked how you did it, answer them, and when they come back at you with whatever it is they say, just say "oh...okay" and turn around and do whatever it was you were doing.

    Oh and P.S. - that guy is a creeper - watch out for him.
  • SirZee
    SirZee Posts: 381
    The only thing people don't ever fail at is making excuses.

    Its so sad, watching them trying to convince themselves while they are trying to convince you.

    Edit:
    Forgot this part:
    I pre-empt it with psyops. I tell them its all mental, starting from not always making excuses to myself, but instead focusing on the goal, realizing that everything you read/hear is BS hype, and the only thing that works is eating healthy within boundaries of calorie management and regular (and vigorous - so many people who exercise are not really exercising) exercise and the realization that appreciable and long term gains take months/years of dedicated mental commitment.
  • icimani
    icimani Posts: 1,454 Member
    I think part of it is "wow - you look great and I wish I had your determination."

    Another part is he wants the easy fix - some magic potion - and when you didn't have one he was dissappointed or miffed.

    And yep - he's not ready. It's not his priority and until he decides to make it his priority he won't get down to doing the work.
  • Randyamc
    Randyamc Posts: 365 Member
    I have literally no idea why this conversation would offend or bother you in any way? Am I missing the point here?

    ^^This^^ People will either take action in their lives or find excuses.
  • regansfit
    regansfit Posts: 9
    People say the same kinds of things to me at work but I don't think it's irritating. Like others have already said, I'm not sure I can identify with where you are coming from on this one. They want to know what is working for you and try to "see" what you are doing working for them. In most cases "I work really hard at it" isn't what they are looking to hear. But that's THEIR struggle. I try not to be judgy at people when talking with them about weight loss. I tell them the truth about what I do and offer encouragement. The rest is on them, don't carry their struggle with you.

    On a somewhat related note, I personally find it entertaining when people ask me what is working for me and then tell me all the things I am doing wrong and what/why I should be doing differently. Usually they are people who are not where they want to be with their own journey. It grates on my nerves at times but I just remind myself that I have found something that's working for me and I try to thank them for their suggestions but let them know I'm going to stick with what works for me. :)
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    I have literally no idea why this conversation would offend or bother you in any way? Am I missing the point here?

    ditto

    (but only 1200 calories/day and working out 7 days/week is way beyond needed)

    and what would have I said in response:
    "I just make it a priority to not eat more than I use"

    but I am a person of short answers due to all the homeschool questions I use to get.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    I've been told I'm so lucky that I can eat so much and not gain weight.. I just laugh in their faces.


    Lucky.. yeah, that's it. :wink:
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
    I completely understand what you are saying... It is hard to get people to understand that the HARDEST part is rising above the excuses and do what you have to do for you.
    I simply say "No magic potions, no pills, no shakes, just simply eating less and moving more. I'm a calorie slave and that's not for everyone... but it's doing great things for ME." if they ask more questions about specifics, I answer with honest sincerity, but once the excuses start rolling I simply say "Like I said, it's not for everyone. You will find what works for you when you are ready. Call me if you'd like some support" :flowerforyou: ...and then I walk away and let it go. I've done what I could. :happy:
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
    I've been told I'm so lucky that I can eat so much and not gain weight.. I just laugh in their faces.


    Lucky.. yeah, that's it. :wink:

    a couple weeks ago, for the first time EVER in my life, I was told "I don't think you need to worry about dieting" and I laughed and said, "You could be my new best friend!" and then told her my story. It was awesome. :)
  • j75j75
    j75j75 Posts: 854 Member
    I honestly don't know why this would offend you. He is just making excuses for himself as to why he can't get in shape. Many people don't want to change their eating habits and/or work their @$$ off. Sucks for him
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    oh god...Worse conversations can happen:

    zK3U1oE.jpg

    OMG that's how we met!

    OMG me, too! Matt, you told me I was the only one :sad:
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
    They're probably looking for a magic pill answer. Something that involves no work on their part.
  • knittingwitch
    knittingwitch Posts: 231 Member
    Because they WANT to hear you say "oh I took this pill or that pill and the weight magically fell off of me"...they do NOT want to hear that you actually have to watch what you eat and exercise!

    I just say "i'm doing it the ONLY way that really works and last, exercise and eating right"

    Your the first one to get it :)
  • knittingwitch
    knittingwitch Posts: 231 Member
    someone noticed you lost weight and asked for pointers and you are bother? :frown:

    No I'm bothered that they feel they have to makeup a reason why it won't work for them.
  • Seaglass1123
    Seaglass1123 Posts: 500 Member
    I don't mind offering advice at all. I find it odd that anyone who has lost weight wouldn't want to help others.

    With that said most people do make excuses and I see right through that. I HATE the magic pill thing or "what's your secret?" but everyone does have to figure out what works for them ultimately.
  • knittingwitch
    knittingwitch Posts: 231 Member
    I am confused. Is this post supposed to be bragging that you got a compliment from a man or ragging on people who say they don't have time to work out? It's one or the other I just can't figure out which one it is. Or is it both? Clarifying this will help me help you with your dilemma.

    Its that he ask me what I'm doing, then after I tell him he feels the need to say oh that wouldn't work for me. Its not just him ether I get asked this all the time form different people and all of them will say oh I can't do this. Its like they want me to say I waved a wand and I'm skinny now do you want me to do it for you to? What bugs me is they have to make a point of spreading their negativity.
    If it was a complement it would be you look good and be done with it.
  • knittingwitch
    knittingwitch Posts: 231 Member
    Because they WANT to hear you say "oh I took this pill or that pill and the weight magically fell off of me"...they do NOT want to hear that you actually have to watch what you eat and exercise!

    I just say "i'm doing it the ONLY way that really works and last, exercise and eating right"

    @OP - I have had similar discussions with many people. First they ask how you were able to do it, then make excuses. We know that it takes hard work, otherwise everyone would be in shape right? :laugh:

    true :smile:

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