Absent and lying because of binging

lalalady

Thanks for your honesty. I think the "One Day At Time" statement is so true. The bravest thing you did was own up to it, write it down and move on. I have a terrible habit of thinking its all or nothing. Each day is our chance to start anew. Again, thanks for sharing.

themethod

themethod,
I'm proud of you for being honest with yourself, for pushing yourself to do that and for posting here about it to get yourself accountable again, that couldn't have been easy.

Like was shared, you're aware of what you've been doing and want to get back on track so you came to the right place. We've all been there in that very spot at some point. Jump back up and we'll help you get some strength back for the journey!:flowerforyou:

I've missed you, I've missed your posts, hope to see you around more:drinker:
Becca

Thank you, very much. I really do value the relationships that we forge here. I posted this because another user had the strength a few weeks ago to write a blog about what she had been "hiding" from MFP and I thought if she can do it, so can I. Coming clean already feels better!!!

shellee9tj

Sweetheart we love you no matter what!! No one better be judging you or I will have to put my Tae Bo skills to work on them!!! We are all human and we are all here for the same reasons, so you will get back on track and we will be here to help you! You are my inspiration, I look forward to your comments and posts and accomplishments, you probably don't realize the impact you have on others on MFP. You fell down like we all do from time to time, but now you will pick yourself back up and start again strong! We believe in you, make sure you believe in yourself!!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

highrise

You've been a real inspiration to me, missus, having read many of your archived posts. You've done so brilliantly, with great humour and wisdom and have helped so many people on MFP.

Pick yourself up and start again.

holliscobb

You have been such a huge inspiration to so many here on MFP. I think we all understand what you are going through because most of us have been there ourselves. I really enjoy reading your posts because you shed such a positive light on the sometimes daunting task of losing weight. I know you can do this and you have a great support group on here to help you along the way.

Congratulations on being alcohol free for 30 days. That is an enormous accomplishment on it's own.

Chin up, you'll be fine!

selbyhutch

That was a difficult confession for you. I'm proud of you for doing it though... it had to be done. I have some concerns that you lied to yourself when logging food... it's not that you gave up & just didn't log the food. However, you had a lot of guilt even during your binge... and that's a step in the right direction. You'll get through it, you're learning more every day and taking accountability. And a big grats on no alcohol.

jewelinvic

First of all, you are very stunning! Second of all, congratulations on your ability to be so completely honest with yourself (who is the only one who matters) and also with the rest of us. That's a huge committment. I read your posts and your blogs and I admire your optimism, honesty and humour. You really should ease up a little on yourself, you're going to make yourself nuts , please don't be offended, I mean that in the kindest way possible. We're all only human and therefore apt to make mistakes. The one thing that I do try to remember is "one meal, one day at a time"

You are doing fabulous, you'll get back on the wagon and strap yourself down and be fine. The past is past, there is no point in worrying about a few days worth of mistakes.

I hope you have a great day :flowerforyou:
jewel

PJilly

I've been signing in to MFP everyday for 75 days. However, in the past week I haven't been participating as much in the community and although I have entered the little bit of exercise I've done, my food diary was a lie. I wanted to still look like I was being successful and had a hard time logging any food that wasn't healthy or correctly portioned.

In the last six days I have overeaten by a total of at least 6,500 calories. I estimate I ate more than 5,000 calories yesterday alone, and it has all been crap. I am seriously struggling right now, and so I logged all of it that I can remember (although I'm sure there are plenty of things I forgot, and my portion sizes and foods chosen are only guesses) to show me how big of a problem I obviously have.

I thought I was on my way to being a healthy eater, but it's obvious that I can't trust myself around food yet - especially things that I haven't measured and prepared. Tonight I need to throw out all the food in my house and start over again because what is left is not all good for me.

I can't afford another week like the past one that I had because it makes getting back on track towards a healthy lifestyle seem impossible. A cheat meal or a cheat food is one thing, but a cheat week of binging is insane and shows major issues. The worst part is that when I was eating it, I knew exactly what I was doing to my body with all the grease, flour, sugar, and salt, and that took all the joy out of it. It got progressively worse everyday, culminating in a Mother's Day brunch where I ate at least four entire dinner plates of food. Each bite was painful, but I just couldn't stop.

So, starting over again... right now. Hoping to get back to where I was, and happy that I have been successful with one thing: yesterday marked 30 days alcohol free.

Edited because I remembered more food!

First of all, HUGE congrats on 30 days of being alcohol-free! :happy:

Second, I can completely relate to the binging and overeating. Knock on wood, those days seem to be behind me, but I am always aware that I could fall back into my old ways pretty easily. MFP has been a huge part of my success. On the chance that the way I use it can help you too, here is what I do. First, I use the goal setting to determine how much food I get to eat. I log all my exercise so that those calories are added as well. I have found that I do way better when I don't try to restrict my calories too much. Second, I use the food diary as a way to plan what I'm going to eat, not as a way to track what I've already eaten. I think this helps in a couple of ways: One, I can make sure I get everything I need throughout the day so that I don't let myself to get too hungry and set myself up for failure. Two, just having it written down gives me a sense of being obligated to stick to it. That really helps me. My food diary is public, but first and foremost, it is a tool to help me in my journey. I wouldn't hesitate to make it private if I ever felt like I was too worried about how it would look to other people to make it an effective tool for myself.

You'll get yourself back on track. I really believe you will. You can be firm in your resolve to do better from this day forward and still be kind to yourself for messing up a little.

kiffypooh

After having many, many, many, many, days, weeks and months much like yours I have come to one conclusion. These trips, or falls, or whatever they are make us stronger. Each one gets smaller and further apart and before you know it they will go away pretty much all together. You’ve realized where you went and you've come back. You can and will do this because you know what you were doing was not the direction you want to go!!!

kiffypooh

After having many, many, many, many, days, weeks and months much like yours I have come to one conclusion. These trips, or falls, or whatever they are make us stronger. Each one gets smaller and further apart and before you know it they will go away pretty much all together. You’ve realized where you went and you've come back. You can and will do this because you know what you were doing was not the direction you want to go!!!

themethod

Thank you, everyone, for all of the kind words, advice, encouragement, and personal stories. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone. And I can't recall if someone said it here or in a private message, but yes, I do strive for perfectionism and that is what brings the feelings of guilt that someone else mentioned. I recognize that it is an issue, I want to fix it, and I know that when I'm eating better quality food and getting my exercise in, it makes me feel better physically and it's much easier to continue on that path once the momentum is going. I don't want to have more days like this past week because the secrecy surrounding binging compounds the remorse and makes the desire to hide even worse.

"Stop the Insanity!"

I promise not to dye my hair white and buzz it into a flat top. (Get it? Susan Powter? Geez, I feel old sometimes.)