My worried hubby .

dondimitri

your husband needs to address his OWN insecurity and quit projecting them on to you. IMO only an idiot would even suggest that only slim ppl cheat/leave their marriage. But (being a big girl) I'd also be insulted at the implication that the only reason I'm staying in my marriage is BECAUSE I'M TOO FAT TO DO OTHERWISE.

sorry, I don't like your hubby much. he's got issues and pissing me off
I am not someone who stays in a marriage where I am constantly under suspicion. I refuse to live like that. if you are an honorable person and your sig-other doesn't trust you, it's because THEY, THEMSELVES CANNOT BE TRUSTED.
I have learned this THE VERY HARD WAY and will NEVER, EVER tolerate it again

Wow.

meeper123

That happens but tender reasurance will get him over this. My husband thought that i would run off the fir st time i got to 130 but he got over it once he saw the changes in himself

meeper123

your husband needs to address his OWN insecurity and quit projecting them on to you. IMO only an idiot would even suggest that only slim ppl cheat/leave their marriage. But (being a big girl) I'd also be insulted at the implication that the only reason I'm staying in my marriage is BECAUSE I'M TOO FAT TO DO OTHERWISE.

sorry, I don't like your hubby much. he's got issues and pissing me off
I am not someone who stays in a marriage where I am constantly under suspicion. I refuse to live like that. if you are an honorable person and your sig-other doesn't trust you, it's because THEY, THEMSELVES CANNOT BE TRUSTED.
I have learned this THE VERY HARD WAY and will NEVER, EVER tolerate it again

You need theraphy im not kidding this sounds unhealthy

pspetralia

Just reassure him you are doing it for the both of you so you can have a longer healthier life together

Best answer!

livingfortheone

Back in my first marriage, my then wife was worried about me joining a gym and getting buff. She said that she didn't want other gals looking at her man. Well, the long and short of it was, she ended up leaving anyway. And I never set foot in a gym so as not to upset her.
Now it's a new day and a new way. I'm dropping pounds, I have weights to lift at home and a new wife. So. hopefully, in time, I'll be able to present HER with my new body to do with as she pleases.

LoonaAdl

Married 32 years and you still keep your husband on his toes enough to have him ask you this?

Well done!!

You're obviously got someone who loves you through thick and thin there

He sounds like a keeper. Tell him a random woman off the internet thinks he sounds lovely ...

I agree!

dreamypone

I agree with above posts saying that you should just reassure him and even ask him if maybe he wants to join you on your journey. I would imagine saying something like "I have loved you for x amount of years through thick and thin, and I still love you, my love isn't stored in my fat so I am not going to burn it off as well. "

oregonzoo

your husband needs to address his OWN insecurity and quit projecting them on to you. IMO only an idiot would even suggest that only slim ppl cheat/leave their marriage. But (being a big girl) I'd also be insulted at the implication that the only reason I'm staying in my marriage is BECAUSE I'M TOO FAT TO DO OTHERWISE.

sorry, I don't like your hubby much. he's got issues and pissing me off
I am not someone who stays in a marriage where I am constantly under suspicion. I refuse to live like that. if you are an honorable person and your sig-other doesn't trust you, it's because THEY, THEMSELVES CANNOT BE TRUSTED.
I have learned this THE VERY HARD WAY and will NEVER, EVER tolerate it again

Oh for the love of gravy, calm down.
This is a woman who has been married for 30 years, and seems quite happy. A spouse can and will get insecure when such a change is made, it's certainly not a crime.

OP just reassure him. Keep showing him love.

iulia_maddie

I can't wait to lose these last 10 pounds. Then I'm gone baby!! He won't know what hit him.

Springfield_Rocks

your husband needs to address his OWN insecurity and quit projecting them on to you. IMO only an idiot would even suggest that only slim ppl cheat/leave their marriage. But (being a big girl) I'd also be insulted at the implication that the only reason I'm staying in my marriage is BECAUSE I'M TOO FAT TO DO OTHERWISE.

sorry, I don't like your hubby much. he's got issues and pissing me off
I am not someone who stays in a marriage where I am constantly under suspicion. I refuse to live like that. if you are an honorable person and your sig-other doesn't trust you, it's because THEY, THEMSELVES CANNOT BE TRUSTED.
I have learned this THE VERY HARD WAY and will NEVER, EVER tolerate it again

angieleighbyrd

my husband had the same fears but I never knew it until about a month ago. I asked him if a year ago when I said I wanted to do this if he thought I was serious or not. He said he had 2 thoughts, one was that I wasn't going to stick to it, and the other was that I was going to end up leaving him.

I proved him wrong on both thoughts.

empot

Think of it in the reverse, if he was taking care of himself and starting to see physical benefits, how would you feel? I bet you would be so proud of him, find him attractive and feel a little bit jealous and left behind. As long as he is a generally good husband overall, being insecure isn't a sign of a bad husband but honest insecurity. I went through it with my husband and he always wanted me to get healthier and feel great about myself, he was just feeling left behind. Keep reminding him you love him and you want to be the best version of yourself so that you can be all the things you and your family deserve and because you love them. Then understand his process (he may be a few month or even years behind you) but it is his journey and this is yours. Just be a support just like you needed. Plus, it will be really fun when you can throw each other around , who needs a new fun when you can have even more fun with the partner you have and love!

gracielynn1011

My hubby has said the same thing a few times. Each time he says "You're just getting slim to go find a new man.". my answer is always that I don't need a new man, I would rather keep the one I got. I picked a winner the first time.

He says he's joking, but I think hearing my answer always makes him happy.

FlyEaglesGuy

your husband needs to address his OWN insecurity and quit projecting them on to you. IMO only an idiot would even suggest that only slim ppl cheat/leave their marriage. But (being a big girl) I'd also be insulted at the implication that the only reason I'm staying in my marriage is BECAUSE I'M TOO FAT TO DO OTHERWISE.

sorry, I don't like your hubby much. he's got issues and pissing me off
I am not someone who stays in a marriage where I am constantly under suspicion. I refuse to live like that. if you are an honorable person and your sig-other doesn't trust you, it's because THEY, THEMSELVES CANNOT BE TRUSTED.
I have learned this THE VERY HARD WAY and will NEVER, EVER tolerate it again

Ditto

Mlkmaid

Some me get really threatened by it. Other women can to. Many wil resort to sabotaging your efforts. My mother-in-law does that constantly.

Wuggums

At least he came out and asked her about it, instead of acting douchey and controlling and accusing her of stuff she isn't doing. Which happens a lot with insecure guys who worry about this.

Amen! For almost 17 years, I had never been called "beautiful", "sexy" or anything of the sort. For the last three years I still haven't been called those things, but I have constantly been accused of cheating because he suddenly feels I'm worthy of male attention. I've tried every trick in the book - telling him how much the accusations bother me, trying to motivate him to get healthy with me, etc - but it hasn't worked. I've finally realized he needs to get over his insecurities on his own and I need to do what it takes to make "me" happy.