My friend says I look anorexic

bluestool

I would ask your friend who "they" are.

But that's just me. Cynical, distrusting me.

Yooperm35

I had a friend tell me that I'm getting 'too skinny' - BUT - she also wants to lose weight, but won't do anything about it, so I'm assuming she's a tad bit jealous. I am only at the top end of what is considered a healthy BMI, so I still have at least 10# to lose until I will be happy.

momofJandA

First- congratulations!!! what an amazing journey and accomplish you have done!

As to the topic of your post- maybe she really is concerned about you. You have lost a great deal of weight and your appearance has changed drastically because of that weight loss. She was used to seeing you one way and the transformation is HUGE . . . maybe because it was such a huge transformation is actually looks like you are losing too much (pretty sure I didn't explain that well enough). That being said you are at a healthy weight and striving to lose some more at which time you will STILL be at a healthy weight, so I wouldn't worry about her comments too much. If you (and your doctor) know you are losing weight the healthy weigh then what does her opinion really matter any way?

lacurandera1

What a weird benchmark for anorexia. Visible collarbones? I weigh 210lbs and I've had visible collarbones for a while.

Yeah, I had visible collar bones at 170. Sometimes idt people know what anorexia is. An (older) family friend told me last year that her brother in law is anorexic bc he walks 4 miles a day.

:noway:

yummy_

I'm 5ft 4.5 inches and there's no way I would look or feel healthy at 130, but your doctor knows best, I guess.

5.5 @ 130 can look and feel quite healthy, i assure you.

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

I just don't want to hurt her feelings.

Sounds to me that she is the one hurting your feelings.

Sorry you have to put up with her negative attitude and congratulations on your weight loss!:happy:

This.

You're concerned about hurting her feelings while she craps all over yours? 22 months of sweat & tears, and this jerk is going to try to sabotage you?? That's no one whose feelings you need to worry about.

Even if there was this band of people cackling about how you look anorexic, would a true friend even tell you that crap? Not unless they a) wanted to hurt you, b) wanted to make you stop losing weight and/or c) take your victory away and make you feel like crap about it.

This isn't a good friend.

BinaryPulsar

That's really nuts if people are telling your friend that you look anorexic. You should ask your friend who said that. Not a very good friend at all for her to make stuff like that up. Also, collar bones are supposed to be visible. Wow, I am 5'2", I weigh 101 (yes I have a very small bone structure), I interact with all kinds of people, and no one ever says to me that I look anorexic (because I'm not, I'm healthy, I'm well nourished, I am fit and I have a booty). I even ask people if they think I am too thin and they say no (even my doctor). They say that I am fit and do not need to lose weight and they ask me about how I stay so fit.

obrientp

I know you are worried about her feelings, but she is a grown woman. She needs to deal with her feelings and insecurities. You are on an amazing journey, and don't let anyone .take that away that feeling of accomplishment away from you. Collarbones are supposed to show.

aNewYear123

Great job on your work!!!

To be fair, it is possible that someone else did make the comment to her, or, knowing that she is your friend asked her if you were sick or something (from other threads a lot of people have had questions about being sick or on drugs when they have lost significant weight) and she may just want you to know that people are talking about you.

Of course you may be right and it is all her insecurities. Next time try a reply like “Thank you for sticking up for me. I can’t continue to risk my health by stopping my new routine. My doctor told me what weight I need to be to be healthy, so I need to get to that weight and stay there.”. Something like that takes the issue out of looks and puts it into health, and lets her know that you won’t be stopped so there is no point in her continuing to fuss.

nwg74

All that matters is how you look in the mirror and if you like it and think you look healthy.

I am 5' 7" and get told how thin I am despite being still over 170 pounds. I have been overweight all my life so people are not used to seeing me like this. I started at 373 pounds two years ago. I want to lose a bit more and settle around 165. I am hoping I will go down a little more over time when skin has tightened even if it is just 2 or 3 pounds.

lithezebra

I'm 5ft 4.5 inches and there's no way I would look or feel healthy at 130, but your doctor knows best, I guess.

5.5 @ 130 can look and feel quite healthy, i assure you.

5'3.5" at 120 and at 140, can look and feel healthy. Everyone is built different. That's why healthy weight is a range.

BinaryPulsar

I'm 5ft 4.5 inches and there's no way I would look or feel healthy at 130, but your doctor knows best, I guess.

5.5 @ 130 can look and feel quite healthy, i assure you.

5'3.5" at 120 and at 140, can look and feel healthy. Everyone is built different. That's why healthy weight is a range.

I agree! What is healthy varies per person. Most people will know what is right for themselves (as it is the range their body has always been within from a healthy lifestyle). Comparisons are never good or helpful to anyone (unless if it is taking the wide range into consideration). We are not all the same, just because we are at the same height.

fitgal05

Good job on your weight loss. I don't understand sometimes why people react the way they do. It's called body acceptance, and we push to be treated a certain weight while overweight. It's like a whole movement, but if you are naturally skinny or losing weight to be healthy like me you get the constant remarks. I'm your height and my goal is 125. I don't look tone at my weight which is my goal. I know we are all built different and different ages as well. So I'd say if anyone had anything negative to say, ignore them. I say make it a challenge! Hi I lost the weight, I do eat I'm not annorexic I'm healthy. Plus people read your story and do you know that you can literally change other peoples lives. Just knowing that you did something that other people think isn't possible gives us hope. It tells people there is a way, and that anyone can do it if they really try. So I just think you are amazing, you look great and I totally know how you feel because I hear those things too. They look at me like 125 isn't enough, but for my body it is. I have muscle I run, my body is a certain shape based on that. It's mine I can shape it how I want.

nwg74

I have wide shoulders and big ribs (I can feel the individual ribs when lying down even now), so even getting down to a BMI of 25 is going to look too far. I will be happy to maintain a 26 BMI which will be 7 pounds over a BMI of 25.

I still find seeing my collar bone strange so it must be weird for other people too.

Athena53

I'm 5'7 and weigh 129. I've been able to see my collar bones my entire life. I average one sick day every 3 years and am not on any prescriptions even though I'm 60. Your weight is fine and you and your doctor are right. Enjoy the results of your good work!

mdraper60

I had lost a lot of weight previously (working towards that again) and I had a very close friend think that I looked too thin. After some talking about it, it was just because there was such a major change in my body compared to the way I had been prior. Ultimately, it is about how YOU feel about YOU and not how anybody else feels. If you are healthy and feel good about yourself that is the main thing!! Congrats on all of your progress!! :flowerforyou:

commanderval

Seeing the collar bones is NORMAL! Geez... and for a 5'4'' gal, it's very healthy to weigh 130! I'm 5'3, 127 lbs and I look far from anorexic! I guess it all depends on your "frame" I have a small bone structure... I could easily go down to 115 and not look sickly thin. Do what YOU want as long as it's HEALTHY.

Congrats on the amazing AMAZING weight loss!

carrieous

She is not your friend. The end.

AnnaMarieDinVa

I'm 5ft 4.5 inches and there's no way I would look or feel healthy at 130, but your doctor knows best, I guess. Your friend is probably jealous.

I'm almost 5'9"...and the goal weight my doctor set for me is 130...because that is what I was most of m life, and I felt great, and didn't look anorexic...I think your friend is jealous. Just pleasantly ignore her.

Kst76

Do you really look plump? It just goes to show how different we all are. I am 5.5 and my goal weight us 145. At 145 I am skinny. I was 145 12 years ago and I wore a size 6 at the most. Very interesting.