Thank goodness for fat shaming!

KodAkuraMacKyen

Something similar to this got me going... I was on a business trip to India when one of the associates looked at me, looked at my associate picture on our system that was a few years old, looked back at me and asked "what happened? I think you got fat." That hurt so bad. I didn't need him to tell me I had gained weight. I knew I had but I didn't really know what to do about it. After that trip, I discovered MFP and have since lost 56 pounds. On one hand, I'm still hurt that he would say something like that (I understand the culture is different) but on another, it was that comment and pictures taken while I was there that got my *kitten* in gear.

GiveTheGeniusACookie

I think guilt & shame are seriously unrated in our society today. I think walking on egg shells, political correctness and ever prized/valued and highly sought after "good" self esteem is at the root of so very many of our modern day society's ills and woes. I'm a firm believer in "A wound ( The sharpest reproofs) from a friend is better than kisses (All the outward profession of friendship) from an enemy". Good for you for being grateful/thankful for your mom's (your friend) sharp words/reproof. Not many people today appreciate that kind of "love" and see it not as "love" but as mean/hatred/foul.

To each is own though....for sure!

*Applauds* :drinker:

And KUDOS to the OP's mom for helping out her daughter. If the OP was a weaker person she might have gotten her feelings hurt and ate a ton of food and added more weight on. Instead she listened without getting offended and LOOKIE there she is changing her life. WTG OP WTG!!!!

billsica

Reported:

Those poor whales and cows. What did those majestic beasts ever do to deserve to be compared to all you people.:sad:

Bentleymama86

Before I had my kids, I wasn't perfect, but I was at about a sie 5. after having 4 kids in 5 years, I gained 100lbs. Now I look at mytself, and I'm tired of being fat So I'm changing it.

diolpah

I can only speak for myself, but self-hatred and a constant internal monologue of shame and negativity is the only thing that actually produces results.

If I was happy with myself, I would have absolutely no motivation or reason to fix what isn't perceived to be broken.

Bentleymama86

I can only speak for myself, but self-hatred and a constant internal monologue of shame and negativity is the only thing that actually produces results.

If I was happy with myself, I would have absolutely no motivation or reason to fix what isn't perceived to be broken.

This is somewhat true. I love who I am, but I AM NOT FAT. I just HAVE FAT. So I do love me and I am happy with who I am

vice350z

I can only speak for myself, but self-hatred and a constant internal monologue of shame and negativity is the only thing that actually produces results.

If I was happy with myself, I would have absolutely no motivation or reason to fix what isn't perceived to be broken.

This is somewhat true. I love who I am, but I AM NOT FAT. I just HAVE FAT. So I do love me and I am happy with who I am

i have fat and i HATE it...it affects the fun life I want.

keem88

i agree. i've never been overweight before, but if i were i should as hell would want someone to tell me, politely or rude so i could better take care of myself. sometimes it is hard to see how we really look, and it may be a sensitive subject but i'd be embarrassed waking around huge and no one knocking sense into me. i think it's important to help out other people, and even if it seems mean, your mom telling you was prolly the best thing she could have done because she was worried about your health.

Bentleymama86

I can only speak for myself, but self-hatred and a constant internal monologue of shame and negativity is the only thing that actually produces results.

If I was happy with myself, I would have absolutely no motivation or reason to fix what isn't perceived to be broken.

This is somewhat true. I love who I am, but I AM NOT FAT. I just HAVE FAT. So I do love me and I am happy with who I am

i have fat and i HATE it...it affects the fun life I want.

I can totally understand that. It sucks, don't it

wendybird5

Every day I walk around and can't help but want to go up to people (lots of them) and grab them by the shoulders and shake them and say "Hey! Just what do you think you've been doing?!" I was once one of them and so that urge is strong. How to do that constructively is the question. And now I often pause to think about what other things I'm still delusional.

Ok, and what about their appearance suggests they're not already doing something about it?
The worst thing I ever felt was people coming up behind me on the way to pick up my son, and telling me I was fat and that I should lose weight.... and that really hurt because I had been exercising and losing weight for more than a year... yes I was still overweight but I was 30 lbs lighter than when I started...
So just because someone is overweight doesn't mean that A they're not aware of it, and B theyre not already doing something about it...

:flowerforyou:

I never started getting comments about my weight until I started losing it and then strangers on the street would feel the need to criticize me for it. Even now I still get people who think I should lose 15 more pounds and others who think I'm too skinny and probably anorexic.

It's one thing for a family member, good friend or doctor to be concerned about your health. It's quite another to call names and treat people as if they are stupid or lazy because they are fat or criticize because they aren't where you think they should be. Some people are obese not due to shoveling food in their mouths but actual medical conditions. So unless you know a person's story and why they are the way they are or they have asked you for input, you have no business commenting.

MYOB

alysonland

I totally agree with this- for some people I feel like it happens so steadily that they don’t even realize. That’s how it happened to me. Now, it wasn’t what anyone said to me that made me see the light but rather some pictures from an outing where I was looking like Tubs Mcghee. I think it’s fine to tell people they’re gaining weight, and honestly? All my best friends, hell even just good friends, know that I would want to be made aware.

I don’t really understand all of these comments saying that what your mum said was going too far. I suppose it’s because I grew up with foreign parents (living in US). I don’t know if you know but foreign parents keep that **** real. If you’re fat you will be let known by not only your parents but your aunts/ uncles as well. It’s not meant to be hurtful; it’s an observation of the truth- if you’re fat, you’re fat and for them its that simple.

I know it’s a generalization but I feel like a lot of American kids [read: not the product of 1st or 2nd generation immigrants] are too dang sensitive. I have a very tough skin and no matter what someone says to me I’m not very likely to get upset. However, I feel like a lot of my peers are always getting their feelings hurt over things that they should be able to brush off. But that’s a rant for another time…

Why get sad when someone calls you fat? Seriously- if it upsets you do something about it. If you love yourself the way you are and are happy then why even hold onto those comments and let yourself get worked up over it in any way?

OHYOUSILLYGIRL, u r so correct, people are very, very sensitive and it is to the point where even Doctors are afraid to tell their patients to eat less, eat healthier and lose weight.

OP, the love your Mother has for you is a blessing...sometimes a Mother will tell you what needs to be said. So sorry anyone doubts your Mom's right to know her child. Many of us miss Mom very much....your Mother is wonderful and she is obviously an important person in your life.

alysonland

I totally agree with this- for some people I feel like it happens so steadily that they don’t even realize. That’s how it happened to me. Now, it wasn’t what anyone said to me that made me see the light but rather some pictures from an outing where I was looking like Tubs Mcghee. I think it’s fine to tell people they’re gaining weight, and honestly? All my best friends, hell even just good friends, know that I would want to be made aware.

I don’t really understand all of these comments saying that what your mum said was going too far. I suppose it’s because I grew up with foreign parents (living in US). I don’t know if you know but foreign parents keep that **** real. If you’re fat you will be let known by not only your parents but your aunts/ uncles as well. It’s not meant to be hurtful; it’s an observation of the truth- if you’re fat, you’re fat and for them its that simple.

I know it’s a generalization but I feel like a lot of American kids [read: not the product of 1st or 2nd generation immigrants] are too dang sensitive. I have a very tough skin and no matter what someone says to me I’m not very likely to get upset. However, I feel like a lot of my peers are always getting their feelings hurt over things that they should be able to brush off. But that’s a rant for another time…

Why get sad when someone calls you fat? Seriously- if it upsets you do something about it. If you love yourself the way you are and are happy then why even hold onto those comments and let yourself get worked up over it in any way?

OHYOUSILLYGIRL, u r so correct, people are very, very sensitive and it is to the point where even Doctors are afraid to tell their patients to eat less, eat healthier and lose weight.

OP, the love your Mother has for you is a blessing...sometimes a Mother will tell you what needs to be said. So sorry anyone doubts your Mom's right to know her child. Many of us miss Mom very much....your Mother is wonderful and she is obviously an important person in your life.

Yes, my mother is a blessing. And here's an update everyone: (Swear to God this is true) I saw my Mom today after not seeing her for a few months and she said "Whatever you doing keep it up! You're looking fantastic." :blushing:

FindingMyself24

Aww i def can relate...my mother in law said that i didnt look as good and asked if she could hook me up with her diet doctor...she had comments about my hair..the way i dressed...EVERYTHING..i was devastated and thought HOW DARE HER!!..i had just had a baby 3 months before...how RUDE of her...she said that i seemed unhappy and depressed and it has to be because im overweight... honestly i never took at look at my body or really became aware of my weight until she said something....yeah...after that i took a good look at how fat i truly was...yep i was disgusted...i cried and cried and then i got my butt in gear...i lost a ton of weight and then i got pregnant with my second and here i am losing prego weight again lol....but this time is diff...i have more drive an motivation...plus i keep replaying what she said in my head to this day...yep dont wanna ever look like i did again!

MyChocolateDiet

Yeah in the past a really really close friend said something to me while getting dressed for a party and borrowing each other's clothes. I think it depends on who does it. In her case it was a point well taken. She was just straightforward and blunt and said, "You know you have been putting on weight lately and you better get a handle on it before it gets out of hand." It was true and she probably saved me from putting on 30 more mindless pounds and whatever extra time that would have added to my weight loss efforts at the time. It was appreciated, not at the moment but later when I examined my mirror image naked and alone. At the moment, I just said, really? And she goes. "Yeah". Simple to the point, non-drama.

backpacker44

When I was 12 (and MAYBE 15-20 lbs overweight) my Grandma told me that if I didn't lose weight no one would ever love me. Sometimes people should shut their mouths. After that I didn't care about myself at all, and still fight the urge to believe what she said.

CrazyTrackLady

I can only speak for myself, but self-hatred and a constant internal monologue of shame and negativity is the only thing that actually produces results.

If I was happy with myself, I would have absolutely no motivation or reason to fix what isn't perceived to be broken.

Not always true.I know an obese woman who claims to be happy with herself, but her constant picking on and judging of others (myself included), tells me that deep down inside, she really isn't happy with HERSELF, and she's projecting it towards others as a way to keep from dealing with her weight problem. She hasn't made the connection between self loathing, judging others, and desiring to change her habits, lose weight and become healthier. For her, it's easier to continue down the oblivious path she is on, pretending to be happy, while pointing out others' faults and flaws.