Skinny people and the word fat

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  • rowlandk
    rowlandk Posts: 146 Member
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    I had something like this happen to me at work. I have been bringing my lunch (we have a cook) so that I knew exactly what was going into my food (very hard to lose weight with a cook). Well this girl I work with caught me on this site and started adding up her calories too and has the guts to tell me that she is trying so hard to lose 5 pounds. Hard? I could do that in a week if that's all I needed. She told me she has started going to the gym and of coarse, the trainers were all hitting on her (she said). It is just hurtful because I am trying so incredibly hard to do this and she is almost rubbing it in my face that she only wants to lose 5 pounds. I think she weighs around 115.
  • GinaB30
    GinaB30 Posts: 725 Member
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    It IS hard when a *skinny* person (especially the people that don't have to work at it to be skinny)
    says they are "SOOO FAT" and need to lose a bunch of weight.

    How does that make the over weight people feel?

    I am probably guilty of this in the past- but I was struggling with not eatig and over exercising and DID think I was very fat...and had previously went from 165 to 124 (5'8)
    So, I think that if someone actually has a problem (be it anorexia, etc) than they really DO see themselves as fat...and for an overweight person to dismiss their feelings is just as bad really.

    No one knows what the other is going through...so we should ALL get a little more tact. :smile:
  • greeneyedgirl
    greeneyedgirl Posts: 100
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    I think it's wrong to be categorizing people into the "fat" and "skinny" categories regardless. Overall, most people just want to be healthy. I don't think skinny people have the mentality of hurting people's feelings, trying to stall their weight loss or any of that nonsense. You are pretty much tearing down slimmer people and saying they can make dumb comments when everyone is capable of doing just that. It's wrong to judge people based on size and I think that is what this post has done.
  • emtink
    emtink Posts: 387 Member
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    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
    -Eleanor Roosevelt
  • MontanaGirl
    MontanaGirl Posts: 1,251 Member
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    I think it's wrong to be categorizing people into the "fat" and "skinny" categories regardless. Overall, most people just want to be healthy. I don't think skinny people have the mentality of hurting people's feelings, trying to stall their weight loss or any of that nonsense. You are pretty much tearing down slimmer people and saying they can make dumb comments when everyone is capable of doing just that. It's wrong to judge people based on size and I think that is what this post has done.

    I think this post is about a personal reaction to a thin person trying to make a person losing weight feel like they don't need to or shouldn't while the thin person tries to make it seem like they need to lose weight. Because they're sooooo fat. You certainly know there is a major difference between needing to lose 3 or 5 or 10 lbs and needing to lose 60 or 100 or 45. If you have 3 or 5 lbs to lose you are not "soooo fat" you are maybe a little out of shape. And why can't people just say "Good for you. I hope you are successful!" Instead of turning it around and making it about them?? It's really just a knee-jerk reaction saying "Hey, I need to lose too. Notice me, pay attention to me" NOT saying every thin person does that either. But some certainly do!
  • filergirl
    filergirl Posts: 240
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    Once again, we have uncovered a universal truth:

    Perspective. Always try to look at things as if you're in that other person's shoes. Otherwise, others will just be categorized into fat / skinny / vegetarian / meat-eater / child-bearing / childless, ad nauseum. It will always be "me vs. them."

    Of course, we all maintain those inherent indentifications, which are based on our own self-identifiers (I am "fat" at 200 lbs, therefore a 140 pound person is "small.") The point isn't to elimate these (it's impossible, and it would reduce our society to a mindless politically-correct pile of rubble - happening already? Hmm . . . another rant altogether ) but rather to base our judgements on thoughtful appraisals of others' potential worldview.

    I fail at this several times a week at the least, but I keep trying, anyway.
  • dulceluva
    dulceluva Posts: 728 Member
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    Oh man. Do I understand this thread or what. It has always been apart of my life. At work, my co-worker knows I am struggling with my weight and says that she needs to lose at least 20 lbs so she can get back to her almost 100 lbs frame (5,8 might I add) and then she asks me if we could go to mcDonalds to get their breakfast...suddenly she is like, "ahh who cares, I dont really need to lose weight" but then the next day she's telling me how muich better her body looked when she was almost 100 lbs.

    Then there is a friend of min who is, what, a size 5 and i would comment that I gained about 5 lbs since hte last time we saw each other and she'd go on and on about "Oh I know, look how fat my legs are...." meanwhile she showing me pictures of her in Jamaica with her barely there bikini.

    It always the thinner ones that say, "ohh, you dont need to lose so much but yea...I should probably do something about this things" ...while you there trying really hard to squeeze together love handles.

    Now don't get me wrong. I am not mad at them because i am the overweight one and they are not - I got myself into my own troubles but still... if i am talking about how fat I am, please dont interrupt me to tel me that you need to lose 5 lbs.
  • bjigglepants
    bjigglepants Posts: 93
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    so does that mean that when i see people on this board (the people who have pics as their avs or on their profiles) and see that they're all "skinnier" than me (and most of y'all are) that it's ok for me to roll my eyes and say "girl, puh-lease"? i think not (and i could care less what your reasons are for losing weight/counting calories/taking care of yourself). i agree with the people who've pointed out that it's a matter of perspective and treating others as you'd want to be treated; giving them the benefit of the doubt.

    just because someone is skinny it doesn't mean they don't have their own struggles with weight. or struggle with their body image. it could very well be that when you say something to a more slender person that it makes them feel like they're in an awkward position. who doesn't say something incredibly stupid in awkward situations?

    guess what i'm trying to say is....don't let what other people say bother you so much. it's not worth the wasted energy :smile:

    oh and for the record. i'm not skinny. i'm 5'3" and weigh 195 pounds. i've been heavy for the past six years and since i have no thyroid, i'll likely be heavy for the rest of my life.
  • MontanaGirl
    MontanaGirl Posts: 1,251 Member
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    oh and for the record. i'm not skinny. i'm 5'3" and weigh 195 pounds. i've been heavy for the past six years and since i have no thyroid, i'll likely be heavy for the rest of my life.

    Not if you are taking meds and get regulated properly. True - if you are not on the right dose of med for your non-thyroid (:laugh: I think I made a new word!) then you won't be able to lose weight, but if you are on the correct dose of medication you will be able to lose weight. At least I am able to (finally!!)
  • bjigglepants
    bjigglepants Posts: 93
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    that's the thing, i'm not to that state yet. they've been tinkering with my meds for a year and i haven't gotten to that magic doseage yet. i have been promised that once i do, that i'll be able to work off my jiggle and once i reach my "happy" point they'll drop it to euthroid state.

    i've been heavy for so long that i'm comfortable with my body. losing weight would be nice, but i'm more concerned about taking care of myself. making sure i'm around to see my kids have kids (that's a scary thought because my kids are NUTS) and to be able to annoy my hubby for a long time.
  • MontanaGirl
    MontanaGirl Posts: 1,251 Member
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    that's the thing, i'm not to that state yet. they've been tinkering with my meds for a year and i haven't gotten to that magic doseage yet. i have been promised that once i do, that i'll be able to work off my jiggle and once i reach my "happy" point they'll drop it to euthroid state.

    i've been heavy for so long that i'm comfortable with my body. losing weight would be nice, but i'm more concerned about taking care of myself. making sure i'm around to see my kids have kids (that's a scary thought because my kids are NUTS) and to be able to annoy my hubby for a long time.

    LOL!! Too funny :happy: Yeah, you will get there, and it is amazing when you do! You will feel so much better and have more energy - sounds like you need it :wink: I was diagnosed Sept of 04, and was on the correct dose, finally, late in "06. Then my brilliant doctor at that time dropped my dose without testing or checking with me and there it all went - didn't gain, but couldn't lose. Switched to a doc that actually listens and believes in treating the disease and she upped me again and I am so much better off. That happened about a year ago - March of 07. So, yeah it takes time to get regulated it's worth all the blood samples in the end though :grumble:
  • catlady
    catlady Posts: 9
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    As a former "skinny" person - I could not GAIN weight in HS no matter how hard I tried - I am 5' 6" and never weighed over 100 in HS. Even after my first child at 25, I got back into my size 5's pretty quickly. After my second child at 35, it was much harder to lose the extra weight. Now, at 51, I have crept up to 150 lbs. For me, that is fat.

    Granted, I don't have 100 lbs to lose, but don't imagine that it is any easier to lose 20 pounds than a larger amount. It just might take longer to lose 100 vs. 20. We still are hungry, we still are tempted by foods we shouldn't eat, we still feel bad about letting our bodies get to this point, we can still feel unattractive because of the extra weight, etc. etc.

    Let's be supportive of each other instead of dividing up into the "skinny" and "fat" people!
  • yesIcan
    yesIcan Posts: 66 Member
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    Its funny when I think back to when I was 160lbs, I'm 5'10" and for me thats a pretty healthy weight. Actually my goal weight right now. I was obsessed with trying to get down to 145lbs because I thought I was so fat. I wasn't fat, not at all but when I looked in the mirror I saw myself as I am now, that I've added 20-25lbs and am actually 'over weight'. I just wish I could go back in time and shake some sense into myself and just enjoy my body for what it was. I think of that now sometimes when I feel bad about myself and the way I look. Its not that bad, it could be worse.. so just enjoy your body now the way it is, cause if I don't gain more weight... gavity does take its toll.

    Just thinking of that cause I'm pretty sure I was guilty of some of those insensitive skinny comments. :ohwell:
  • Phatmomma
    Phatmomma Posts: 204 Member
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    As a FORMER skinny person, let me say this. When people who are thin say that they actually mean it as a COMPLIMENT! They are trying to uplift by saying wow look how skinny you are getting. I think they think it's what a person dieting wants to hear and guess what if we are honest we do want people to NOTICE. Also I had a friend who was 6 foot and 115 lbs.yep she was a model but she wanted to gain some weight. She just didn't seem to be able to. Counter to what the media says most tall people 5'8 and up for women and over 6 ft for men have higher and faster than normal metabolism. It has something to do with the energy our bodies need to keep up with growth and pumpling blood and other fluids through our bodies. It is actually true that MOST taller than average people really are just naturally skinny and not suffering from an EDO. Take me for instance-the amount of calories I was eating every day over 5 thousand I should have been morbidly obese, instead I just became kinda chubby-not fat not skinny-but bigger than is healthy for my body frame/age/height. So just keeping it under 2 I have started to tone up and see my old abs-I've got a one pack lol! and my tummy fat is going down. So when a skinny minny says oh you are getting way to skinny take it as a compliment, and then EAT her:devil: lol (just kidding)
  • cobra1368
    cobra1368 Posts: 90 Member
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    As a FORMER skinny person, let me say this. When people who are thin say that they actually mean it as a COMPLIMENT! They are trying to uplift by saying wow look how skinny you are getting. I think they think it's what a person dieting wants to hear and guess what if we are honest we do want people to NOTICE. Also I had a friend who was 6 foot and 115 lbs.yep she was a model but she wanted to gain some weight. She just didn't seem to be able to. Counter to what the media says most tall people 5'8 and up for women and over 6 ft for men have higher and faster than normal metabolism. It has something to do with the energy our bodies need to keep up with growth and pumpling blood and other fluids through our bodies. It is actually true that MOST taller than average people really are just naturally skinny and not suffering from an EDO. Take me for instance-the amount of calories I was eating every day over 5 thousand I should have been morbidly obese, instead I just became kinda chubby-not fat not skinny-but bigger than is healthy for my body frame/age/height. So just keeping it under 2 I have started to tone up and see my old abs-I've got a one pack lol! and my tummy fat is going down. So when a skinny minny says oh you are getting way to skinny take it as a compliment, and then EAT her:devil: lol (just kidding)

    And only recently have clothing stores begun to realize that just because one is over 6 feet tall, that does not necessarily mean she is over 6 feet wide as well. It was very hard for me to find clothes that fit me most of my life. My struggle has to do with the fact that I am one of those tall thin people (not 115 lbs, my skeleton weighs more than that!!), and I have a 36" inseam for pants. Many tall women's clothing that has the length also assumes that you must be wide as well.

    I wore a lot of belts in Jr high.
  • Helawat
    Helawat Posts: 605 Member
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    If it makes you feel any better, I have trouble finding jeans short enough for my 5'4 frame. The designers assume that because I'm 141 pounds, I must be taller so many of the jeans that I try on are too long.
  • Phatmomma
    Phatmomma Posts: 204 Member
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    Lol i feel ya' pain! I'm almost 5'11 and I was super skinny until I was like 7 months pregnant with my oldest. I only WISH capris were in style then. I wore a lot of minis (lol they were mini to get them to fit in the waist) and a lot of baggy jeans and I totally hated it. I was so happy when I found my first pair of jeans that fit-Neiman Marcus, LEVIS summer of 1994!
    Lerners also a great store for tall pants. I used to shop their catalog back then. My super skinny friend used to always say she wished she had curves like me! Lol curves. I was a size 3-6 all of college but she was negative 0 cause even a zero was baggy on that poor thing. Now I realize she did have some OCD because she would not eat food with condiments, would not eat food that touched, and so on to the point I'm not really sure what the poor child was actually eating.
  • cobra1368
    cobra1368 Posts: 90 Member
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    Lol i feel ya' pain! I'm almost 5'11 and I was super skinny until I was like 7 months pregnant with my oldest. I only WISH capris were in style then. I wore a lot of minis (lol they were mini to get them to fit in the waist) and a lot of baggy jeans and I totally hated it. I was so happy when I found my first pair of jeans that fit-Neiman Marcus, LEVIS summer of 1994!
    Lerners also a great store for tall pants. I used to shop their catalog back then. My super skinny friend used to always say she wished she had curves like me! Lol curves. I was a size 3-6 all of college but she was negative 0 cause even a zero was baggy on that poor thing. Now I realize she did have some OCD because she would not eat food with condiments, would not eat food that touched, and so on to the point I'm not really sure what the poor child was actually eating.

    Lerners, or New York & Company as they are called now, is primarily where I shop!! I also get jeans from the Buckle, because they have 37.5 inch inseam on their jeans. Granted, they are so low-rise that I have to keep hiking them up to keep from showing the world my *kitten* crack, but it is worth it to have my jeans drag the ground!!

    I have been between an 8 and a 12 most of my adult life. At 6'2", it is hard to get my frame to be lower than an 8. I am about a 12 now. It mainly consists of a bubble butt and a wraparound *kitten* that creates those beautiful love-handle, hip pocket sort of things. God, I hate those!!

    Yeah, I've got curves, but is there any way I can cut them off of the places where they are currently and, I don't know, paste them to my boobs?
  • breakingthepath
    breakingthepath Posts: 124
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    If it makes you feel any better, I have trouble finding jeans short enough for my 5'4 frame. The designers assume that because I'm 141 pounds, I must be taller so many of the jeans that I try on are too long.
    I can't either. What's sick is when they're so far off they've swallowed your shoes. Clothing designers can't make decent fitting anything. Except for whoever did up the McDonald's uniforms but those were clearly made during an acid trip. They have other issues. But at least they figured out that boobs do come in sizes larger than a C cup.
  • cobra1368
    cobra1368 Posts: 90 Member
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    If it makes you feel any better, I have trouble finding jeans short enough for my 5'4 frame. The designers assume that because I'm 141 pounds, I must be taller so many of the jeans that I try on are too long.
    I can't either. What's sick is when they're so far off they've swallowed your shoes. Clothing designers can't make decent fitting anything. Except for whoever did up the McDonald's uniforms but those were clearly made during an acid trip. They have other issues. But at least they figured out that boobs do come in sizes larger than a C cup.

    LOL, some of you guys are too funny!! I am not aware of the McDonald's uniform crises, but man, are those attractive uniforms or what!

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