Help my wife won't let me make a sammich!

BeachIron
BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
in Chit-Chat
Every time, I try to make a sammich, she throws me out of the kitchen and tells me no. I hate this. I know that making sammiches will instantly cause me to lose muscle mass and my man card, but I just can't help it. What should I do?
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Replies

  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    Man cave fridge. Hide the sandwich fixings behind the beer.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    First massage her then fill her with wine until you can sneak into the kitchen unnoticed.
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
    A couple of things...what would she rather have you eat? Also, why don't you just make it when she leaves the house?
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    That's a tough one.
    On one hand, if you give in and don't make yourself a sammich, then you've allowed her to define what you can and cannot do.
    Bang, there goes the man card.
    On the other hand, if you make your own sammiches instead of telling her to do it...bang, there goes the man card.

    Dude. I think you're just screwed.
  • suv_hater
    suv_hater Posts: 374 Member
    Handcuff yourself to the refrigerator handle and tell her, "NO, I am not a feminist!"
  • JessieJanie
    JessieJanie Posts: 428
    You just go in there and do it! You don't need her permission, she can't tell you what to do!
    Make me one while you're in there!
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
    Be a real man and buy some of those microwaveable frozen burgers. That's what you do when your woman won't make a sammich for you.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    That's a tough one.
    On one hand, if you give in and don't make yourself a sammich, then you've allowed her to define what you can and cannot do.
    Bang, there goes the man card.
    On the other hand, if you make your own sammiches instead of telling her to do it...bang, there goes the man card.

    Dude. I think you're just screwed.

    Yes...that is quite the Catch 22...you are pretty much FUBAR...
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    That's a tough one.
    On one hand, if you give in and don't make yourself a sammich, then you've allowed her to define what you can and cannot do.
    Bang, there goes the man card.
    On the other hand, if you make your own sammiches instead of telling her to do it...bang, there goes the man card.

    Dude. I think you're just screwed.

    Yes...that is quite the Catch 22...you are pretty much FUBAR...

    It's actually worse than you think. She won't even let me get up and get my own beer anymore. smh
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
    That's a tough one.
    On one hand, if you give in and don't make yourself a sammich, then you've allowed her to define what you can and cannot do.
    Bang, there goes the man card.
    On the other hand, if you make your own sammiches instead of telling her to do it...bang, there goes the man card.

    Dude. I think you're just screwed.

    Yes...that is quite the Catch 22...you are pretty much FUBAR...

    It's actually worse than you think. She won't even let me get up and get my own beer anymore. smh

    That sounds like a win to me!
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    That's a tough one.
    On one hand, if you give in and don't make yourself a sammich, then you've allowed her to define what you can and cannot do.
    Bang, there goes the man card.
    On the other hand, if you make your own sammiches instead of telling her to do it...bang, there goes the man card.

    Dude. I think you're just screwed.

    Yes...that is quite the Catch 22...you are pretty much FUBAR...

    It's actually worse than you think. She won't even let me get up and get my own beer anymore. smh

    :noway:

    tumblr_lm8joqEpdT1qgk4ado1_500.gif
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
    dafuq? this is supposed to be funny? :noway:
  • louisey112
    louisey112 Posts: 573 Member
    I can see how this really transpired:

    sandwich_zpsab94c064.jpg
  • sz8soon
    sz8soon Posts: 816 Member
    You can't make your own sandwich? You can't get your own beer? :sad: :sad: :sad:

    Next thing you're going to be telling me is you don't even have to ask for BJ's anymore....

    Sounds like you need to put your foot down, this kind of behaviour is unheard of.. and shouldn't be tolerated.
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    2s6sow7.jpg
  • __RANDY__
    __RANDY__ Posts: 1,036 Member
    i'd revoke your man card you clearly have no control over your woman, and what were you doing in the kitchen in the first place to get thrown out of it.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    Not clear. Is this a "get out of my kitchen" problem or a "you are fat" problem?
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    That's a tough one.
    On one hand, if you give in and don't make yourself a sammich, then you've allowed her to define what you can and cannot do.
    Bang, there goes the man card.
    On the other hand, if you make your own sammiches instead of telling her to do it...bang, there goes the man card.

    Dude. I think you're just screwed.

    Yes...that is quite the Catch 22...you are pretty much FUBAR...

    It's actually worse than you think. She won't even let me get up and get my own beer anymore. smh

    I have the solution!
    Wife Swap!

    It's a sure bet my wife would never make you a sammich or get you a beer, AND I'm more than willing to give up my man card for that treatment.

    I'll buy the plane tickets.
  • throttle2009
    throttle2009 Posts: 138
    I can see how this really transpired:

    sandwich_zpsab94c064.jpg


    ^^ this is funny....
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    5724.jpg
  • JeremiahStone
    JeremiahStone Posts: 682 Member
    make a burrito
  • theepervette
    theepervette Posts: 638 Member
    put her in a ****ing cage and make your sandwich
  • KAYRRIE
    KAYRRIE Posts: 201 Member
    This is just sad. I'll be dammed if I try to prevent my husband from making his sammich. My guy wants a sammich, he's getting a big ole' sammich.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    5724.jpg

    LOL this is the best

    OP I think that your wife doesnt think you are mentally capable of handling the complicated actions of creating a sandwich. I'm sure she fears you will burn down the house or have a breakdown cover yourself in mayo and run outside naked pounding on the neighbors' door saying, "I am Spartacus!" Who can blame the woman? Please next time you post something like this talk to your wife first admit you have a problem then report back with the hilarious shenanigans that follow.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    dafuq? this is supposed to be funny? :noway:

    exactly what I was thinking
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    That's a tough one.
    On one hand, if you give in and don't make yourself a sammich, then you've allowed her to define what you can and cannot do.
    Bang, there goes the man card.
    On the other hand, if you make your own sammiches instead of telling her to do it...bang, there goes the man card.

    Dude. I think you're just screwed.

    Yes...that is quite the Catch 22...you are pretty much FUBAR...

    It's actually worse than you think. She won't even let me get up and get my own beer anymore. smh

    Once again trust issue you cant drink beer off the cat
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    put her in a ****ing cage and make your sandwich

    the get a cage for my house so I can be put in it too!

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTDAy9_wnMMMpgCxmKwN9vSSSozoS4VgENbT1Co-7jxZEnI5aZP
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I did it!

    resurrect.jpg
  • beckieboomoo
    beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
    Spank her bum and tell her you're the man ;)
  • justwanderful
    justwanderful Posts: 142 Member
    Every time, I try to make a sammich, she throws me out of the kitchen and tells me no. I hate this. I know that making sammiches will instantly cause me to lose muscle mass and my man card, but I just can't help it. What should I do?


    It's good that you have a wife who wants to make you a sandwich herself. Keep testing her like this by attempting to make your own sandwich, get your own beer, or even asking her where the washing machine is in the house. These tests will keep her sharp and in tune with your needs. It will also add points to your man card.

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