new baby and i have no time to eat...

DawnieB1977

I used to eat porridge when my daughter was a baby. I got those little sachets, made 2 of them in the microwave, and a cup of tea, ad settled down on the sofa to feed, feed, feed! Just about managed to make that before the screaming got too loud! Luckily my husband had 2 weeks paternity leave then took 2 weeks annual leave, so he was able to make me food. Our son was 22 months at the time, so he had to be looked after too.

I think there are some slings that you can breastfeed in, so that might be something to look into. If I have another baby that's what I'll do I think.

AlongCame_Molly

I didn't read all the comments, but have you tried a Moby Wrap? Basically its just a super long strip of soft fabric that binds you baby to your chest. She gets held, your arms are free to feed yourself and get stuff done around the house. Everybody wins.

Textmessage

I feel like the title is an exaggeration.

Clearly, you've never nursed a newborn.

So when other women post about nursing and still having time to eat it's relevant? Are those women pulling it off not bound by a day that's made up of twenty-four hours like other women (and men)?

MaryPoppinsIAint

Now you're just being ridiculous. That's not what I said at all. Practical suggestions can be stated in a compassionate manner. That is not the same thing as saying what she "wants to hear". Because of course saying only the nice comforting things isn't helpful either. But kind words can convey a firm message as well or better than harsh ones. Especially to a person who is likely to internalize the emotional aspect of the harsher language (lazy, exaggerating, weak, etc) and be even less likely to dredge up the wherewithal to actually apply any of the suggestions. Two weeks PP is an INSANE time in a woman's head. Think of the biggest misunderstanding you've had with an oversensitive female at her time of the month who figures she's fat, ugly, worthless, and cannot do ANYTHING right... and then multiply it by 20 or so.

Bluntness has its uses, and there are appropriate times for it. This isn't one of them. If you actually want to be helpful to a person in the OP's type of situation (as opposed to just feel good about dashing off a quick reply that any reasonable person should be able to make good use of), it can be important to couch suggestions and ideas in language that is free of judgmental terms and focuses on the person needing the help, rather than all the things that person is doing wrong.

Ashwee87

Now, I had my son Jan. 2012. I had him via c-section and when we got home, I was with him 24/7. I had no breaks and I had little to no sleep. My husband was working so when he was home, he did help when he could; but honestly you FORGET to eat because OMG your attention is towards a helpless newborn. FFS people...give the woman a break.

I lived off of toaster strudels, poptarts and ramen the first few weeks of my son's life. When I did remember or manage to eat, I had to do it quick. Baby slings don't work for everyone, especially if you did have a c-section. Now from what I understand OP didn't, but she has ANOTHER CHILD at home. So juggling a newborn and another child; I can't imagine. My son, who is now 15 months old keeps me busy enough as it is. I eat when he is eating or asleep. Other than that I can't eat around him. (He wants to steal my food. lol)

Anyway....sorry....just kinda got into a bit of a ranty mood. OP is obviously not starving herself but some people need to be a little more understanding or GTFO.

gauchogirl

I have to agree maybe you're just feeling a bit overwhelmed - totally understandable. Those of us who have gone through the same thing (I had three girls, 24 months apart, and nursed them all for a year+ each) have not starved to death afterwards. Totally normal to feel like you have zero time to take care of yourself, but you have to get creative in your thinking. Baby slings, rockers, swings, help from family or friends, etc. And if you're typing here on MFP, I assume you have a free hand that could be feeding you. Don't worry about being on the computer and focus on YOU and your FAMILY. That is what's important, ultimately. And absolutely don't be afraid to let baby cry for a few minutes. It doesn't hurt anything and you can literally make and eat a simple sandwich in about 3 minutes. If you find time to go to the bathroom, and manage a few things around the house, I would put nourishing yourself at the top of the list. You have to remember that you are EQUALLY important to your new child. If you ALWAYS put their needs above your own (legitimate needs, like food, water and sleep), you risk becoming unhealthy or so tired or frustrated that you become a danger to yourself or them. Good luck!

Alison12121

First of all congrats on the little one!

Do you have a slow cooker? That will make life easier. If you don't I would highly recommend getting one. (Get a good one with a timer so it will shut off and keep the food warm if you get busy with the kids. One less thing to worry about.) I love using my slow cooker when I don't have the time, energy or desire to stand over the stove. Cooking Light and My Recipes have some good recipes, and maybe your husband could help out by getting the ingredients and throwing them in.

VoodooLuLu

I have 2 kids one came after the other, my husband was always working, yet i had time thanks to my mum who didn't help me by holding them but by giving me advice

1. You don't have to hold the baby 24/7 make sure the baby is changed/washed/fed and put it in the crib, swing, bouncer, if the baby cries, the baby cries its what babies do you can hold the baby when your done with the stuff you need to do... The baby will fall asleep!!! if you hold the baby continuously you'll only spoil it ...(it was hard for me to hear also...)

2. Plan your meals prepare them before you go to bed

3. Do the stuff you need to do!!! if your truly worried bout the baby check on it in between you chores and other stuff your doing

you'll figure it out!!! :flowerforyou: and of course Congrats on the new baby!!!

seena511

Are you able to eat cereal or yogurt with one hand?

gogurt!

congrats btw!!

pegtate

When I read that your baby was always held, I cringed. That was me. And I regret it. He learned to never sleep unless he was in my arms. Couldn't get him to sleep the night until he was 2!!!! I know it's hard, but put him down sometimes - you'll be a healthy person for it in the long run.

I too (given he was always in my arms) didn't eat. In hindsight, I suggest lots of easy, healthy snacks which require no prep time - yogurt, cheese strings, grapes, bananas (if you can peel with one hand). Heck, eating is the main thing - even if it's not so great for you (canned something). But do stay away from pure junk (chips) as it won't do anything for you or your baby and winds up adding the unhealthy calories you need to take off later.

But mostly, I agree with the empathetic folks - give yourself a break. This is hard - and sometimes harder for most! The good news is that it will, eventually, get better.

My kids are teenagers now. As hard as it may be to think about, enjoy every minute, cause you'll never get it back. And mostly, give yourself a break and just manage as best you can.

rosemaryhon

I feel like the title is an exaggeration.

Google, or search your favorite food sites, for recipes or enter things that sound good and create your own variations. Buy microwave food if you really have no time.

lol really? have you ever given birth and then had the child attached to your chest to feed almost constantly? not only am i overwhelmed with the new baby, i have two other kids to try to take care of while my husband is at work. i sleep 4 hours a night, get up early to feed the baby before i get the other kids up to get ready for school.. walk them to school and come home to feed baby again.. the last two days ive ended up napping after that feeding because im just so tired. i get up and go get kid #2 from school and get her home for lunch.. try to do some housework in between making her lunch and the next baby feeding.. then i go get kid #1 from school and get her snack, feed baby, and try to work on dinner stuff before hubby gets home from work. add in the evening school activities that i have to manage to squeeze in somehow, and its amazing im still standing most days. she will literally sleep for maybe 5 minutes if i put her down.. long enough for me to go to the bathroom if im lucky.
not only are my hormones all screwy - im just exhausted and have no time to even think about myself..with some feedings taking up to 3.5 hours, i just cant seem to balance anything.

Yes, I recall how it is to have a baby attached to us, feeding almost constantly and squeezing in naps while they do!

Reading ^^ seems you should just make something for yourself while you're feeding your older kids breakfast, lunch, snacks, dinner. I also like the idea of you baking easy & healthy snacks over the weekend while your hubby's around to help with the kids.

Just a precaution ~ be careful to cut up your foods like you would for a toddler. As example, I truly almost choked to death while nursing my newborn and snacking on grapes! I was all alone and hungrily popping them in my mouth and one got seriously lodged in my throat ~ they are exactly the size to block our airways. So as they suggest to cut in 1/2 grapes and slice down the middle hotdogs and such for our kiddies, so too should we especially when one handed eating while holding our babies. Just a FYI

Enjoy your new baby!

juliana813

spinach takes 2 minutes to cook with garlic, is delicious, and healthy (Depending on how much olive oil you use) it's one of my favourite things to eat! also, carrots and hummus you can eat with one hand (if you set the hummus down) just be careful to watch your portion sizes :-)

Woomytron

Sorry if this sounds mean but sometimes they gotta just cry. I mean if you wanna be healthy then you have to put some time into cooking. Doesn't mean she has to sit there and cry for hours on end but 10 minutes isn't going to hurt her. Baby wearing is also a good thing, she will be right there and you will have both hands free. If you are BF (I couldn't tell by your post and didn't read all the comments) then its very important to eat healthy and drink lots. Good luck.

What I learned with my first (and only right now) baby is to freeze some meals for the first few weeks so I can just throw it in the oven. I had a c-section and was breastfeeding and was the only one that woke up with him, I was a zombie.

rosemaryhon

Hold her in one arm and prepare your food with the other, or get one of those fancy slings. Also, if they want to whine a little while you fix your food, let them. It's really not going to hurt them, as long as they are changed, fed, etc.

- Mom of twins.

I agree with this ^^. And actually it's not good for nursing baby if mama's not well nurioushed. So I'd say if need be let the baby whine for the couple of minutes it takes to make a sandwich.

rosemaryhon

>>"...So you think it's okay to let a 2 week old just cry?...">>

++++++++

Yes, I do. If need be I'd say it's vital a nursing mom let baby cry for the few minutes it would take to fix something to eat for herself. Mom NEEDS to eat so as to provide more milk, no?

Textmessage

Now you're just being ridiculous. That's not what I said at all. Practical suggestions can be stated in a compassionate manner. That is not the same thing as saying what she "wants to hear". Because of course saying only the nice comforting things isn't helpful either. But kind words can convey a firm message as well or better than harsh ones. Especially to a person who is likely to internalize the emotional aspect of the harsher language (lazy, exaggerating, weak, etc) and be even less likely to dredge up the wherewithal to actually apply any of the suggestions. Two weeks PP is an INSANE time in a woman's head. Think of the biggest misunderstanding you've had with an oversensitive female at her time of the month who figures she's fat, ugly, worthless, and cannot do ANYTHING right... and then multiply it by 20 or so.

Bluntness has its uses, and there are appropriate times for it. This isn't one of them. If you actually want to be helpful to a person in the OP's type of situation (as opposed to just feel good about dashing off a quick reply that any reasonable person should be able to make good use of), it can be important to couch suggestions and ideas in language that is free of judgmental terms and focuses on the person needing the help, rather than all the things that person is doing wrong.

I'll agree to disagree. I don't have any issue conveying my thoughts as I do.

2FatToRun

I feel like the title is an exaggeration.

Google, or search your favorite food sites, for recipes or enter things that sound good and create your own variations. Buy microwave food if you really have no time.

lol really? have you ever given birth and then had the child attached to your chest to feed almost constantly? not only am i overwhelmed with the new baby, i have two other kids to try to take care of while my husband is at work. i sleep 4 hours a night, get up early to feed the baby before i get the other kids up to get ready for school.. walk them to school and come home to feed baby again.. the last two days ive ended up napping after that feeding because im just so tired. i get up and go get kid #2 from school and get her home for lunch.. try to do some housework in between making her lunch and the next baby feeding.. then i go get kid #1 from school and get her snack, feed baby, and try to work on dinner stuff before hubby gets home from work. add in the evening school activities that i have to manage to squeeze in somehow, and its amazing im still standing most days. she will literally sleep for maybe 5 minutes if i put her down.. long enough for me to go to the bathroom if im lucky.
not only are my hormones all screwy - im just exhausted and have no time to even think about myself..with some feedings taking up to 3.5 hours, i just cant seem to balance anything.

Yes, I recall how it is to have a baby attached to us, feeding almost constantly and squeezing in naps while they do!

Reading ^^ seems you should just make something for yourself while you're feeding your older kids breakfast, lunch, snacks, dinner. I also like the idea of you baking easy & healthy snacks over the weekend while your hubby's around to help with the kids.

Just a precaution ~ be careful to cut up your foods like you would for a toddler. As example, I truly almost choked to death while nursing my newborn and snacking on grapes! I was all alone and hungrily popping them in my mouth and one got seriously lodged in my throat ~ they are exactly the size to block our airways. So as they suggest to cut in 1/2 grapes and slice down the middle hotdogs and such for our kiddies, so too should we especially when one handed eating while holding our babies. Just a FYI

Enjoy your new baby!

Thats why the OP is an exaggeration......she says she has NO time to eat. I guess that means her other 2 kids are starving as well. I dont understand what happened between the first child, then the second, that makes this 3rd one so different that is messing with her ability to set the child down for 5 mins make a freaking sammich pick the kid up,sling it and both eat together. What happened to it taking 30 seconds to grab an apple,banana or pear? When I was being a lazy fat slob and didnt want to miss the tv show I was watching I would wait til commercial and get up hurry to the kitchen heat up left over or make a sammich, grab some chips and place on plate, close chips, get a glass and pour me a drink and make it back in plenty of time not to miss my show. The OP need to dole out her time in a more responsible manner, or continue to make excuses, suck it up and deal. Maybe she will think twice before having a fourth since it seems to be getting harder for her instead of easier.

Wittymomma

Two things come to my mind reading your post:

First: enlist some friends to make a meal and come over. Even give them healthy suggestions to make for you. You get nap, they have fun holding baby, a good meal is in the house. You need to take care of yourself to recover and keep your milk supply up. Which brings me to the second thing...

Second: have you talked to a lactation consultant? Even if your supply is fine, they can help you get Baby on a good schedule. I know folks have different theories on how to care for a little one (wear them all the time, schedule them, etc). This is what worked well for me and my little ones, and I have 8. Baby wakes, you feed them, they play (not so much in the beginning ), they sleep. Make sure wee one gets a COMPLETE feeding. A consultant can weigh baby before and after feeding to see how much they are getting to eat. You could have a fast eater...in that case, long feedings are not really all eating. You could have a slow eater. In that case, Baby is NOT full after a few minutes of eating and is falling asleep or needs to burp or something and then eat some more. Look for the jaw action on Baby and for her to swallow. Keep her awake for the full feeding. 3 hours between the start of one feeding to the start of the next is fairly normal, even every 2 hrs if she's smaller....but hopefully some schedule will allow you both to get some naps and for your body to rest before feeding again (protect milk supply!).

Your are 2 weeks in, keep up the good work. It gets better every week as she gets bigger and you both get into the swing of things. Most of mine took 2 months to really get the hang of nursing, but then that crazy newborn nursing stuff paid off - I nursed my kids for about a year to year and a half. Two months is a long time....sounds like you're ahead of the game. It can be hair-pulling-out frustrating at first, but a very sweet time with your baby once it all starts working together!

Yes to all the other ideas: yogurt, almonds, fruit already washed and sliced, leave the housework alone for a month, put her in swing or bouncy seat for a chance for you to shower or prep your meal. Even if she cries for a few minutes, that's ok.

Let us all know how you're doing.

servilia

I would not and have not let a two week old just cry if I can help it. One can find those 2 minutes it takes to grab some food another time, not when your baby is crying. Not only does it interfere with trust and bonding but babies also swallow air when crying, leading to painful gas.

andiechick

I feel like the title is an exaggeration.

Clearly, you've never nursed a newborn.

So when other women post about nursing and still having time to eat it's relevant? Are those women pulling it off not bound by a day that's made up of twenty-four hours like other women (and men)?

Each birth is completely different, for example when I had my eldest I had a section which was fine but I also had a lot of problems with my legs and feet and literally couldn't walk -6 yrs later I'm still on pain medication for the problem. My hubsand worked 12hr shifts and everyone else I knew was out of work so yeh, I can relate to what this lady is saying.

What pi$$es me off is when guys (and some women) come on having no first hand experience of experiencing problems after giving birth and treat the OP like she's an idiot for asking for help.

I believe this site is a support site not somewhere to make people feel like they are failing because they might be struggling in some way

lisamarie1780

I know how you feel, I had two kids one after the other and my partner worked shifts in the poilce so I was alone with them most of the time. You really need a proper routine.
Lots of breast fed babies just like the comfort of being on the breast and arent actually hungry. Try and space out the feeds more and when you do feed, let the baby feed from both breasts until he/she falls asleep or comes off satisfied naturally, that way he/she may be satisified for longer between feeds. Hold and love your baby but don't be afraid to let him/her cry once in a while so that you can prepare something to eat for yourself or see to the other kids. It's OK for your baby to cry as long as they are safe in the cot. You have to look after yourself or you will burn out.
Make a time for bedtime. I did this from the moment they were born. 7pm was bathtime, then bed in a dark quiet room. They didn't take to it straight away but eventually they learnt and kids like that, routine makes them feel safe and helps you cope. Once they are in bed maybe prepare your meals for the next day. Make some salads, grill some chicken that you can have cold the next day. Chop fruit up and veg that is ready to eat. Just simple stuff. Get healthy snacks in that you can eat on the go like nuts and seeds, dark chocolate.
I know it's hard but you need to take control and don't let the kids set the rules. I have been there myself and was a midwife also so have seen plenty of mums in the same situation. Getting a routine will help you get through the day though and OK you won't be able to stick to it military style at first but as baby gets older, the more predictable and easy it will become.