Feeling LESS sexy the closer I get to goal...

2»

Replies

  • fit_lady_13
    fit_lady_13 Posts: 1
    Hey Sam, First congrats on your weight loss! That is awesome and you should be super proud of your achievements! Second, I'm so sorry to hear about your lost libido :( I wanted to offer some insight because I've recently dealt with what you are experiencing (but not due to weight loss). I met my (then future-) husband in 2007 and we were married 3 years later. We've always had a great sex life, but that slowly declined after I took a job that I hated, which often kept me at work until 7 PM or later. During that period, I was so depressed and drained at the end of the day that I never even thought about sex.

    Now that I'm no longer in that position, things have improved a bit, but I don't think I'll ever have the libido that I had at 19 and 20. I'm 27 now and our sex life is better, but still I'm not as interested as my early adult years! I think this just might be a part of the eb and flow of being female (I hear we're supposed to have another peak at 30, though!). It's normal to go through periods of declined sexual interest, and especially now that you're a mother, it just might be hard for you to feel comfortable as a sexual being.

    But, the point that I'm making is: don't feel bad about it. This is perfectly normal. There's nothing wrong with you. And I'm SURE your husband is blown away by the changes in your body. I think you're smart to keep an open line of communication with your hubby, and if he's feeling the same way, it might be a matter of having to schedule a night of intimacy once a week and just committing to it (as impossible as that might seem with your current schedules). So, congrats again, and good luck on your upcoming marathon!
  • iorahkwano
    iorahkwano Posts: 709 Member
    Maybe working out is making you feel tired & less energetic at the end of the day, thus less wanting to be intimate?
  • mb0215
    mb0215 Posts: 20
    I don't have a baby (someday I hope!) but I'm 26 and I went from 220 to 170 in the last year and a half. (i'm 5'9") and, wow, I went through a big period of not feeling good about myself at all at this smaller size (I am still trying to lose a bit and tone). I went down basically a cup size and a half, and had been somebody who put a lot of value on my boobs, which sounds weird but true. When I was 220, I was happy with my body. It took a long long time to be happy, but it was only after being happy and thinking I was pretty and sexy that I felt like I deserved to get healthy--strange, I know.

    Anyway, at this smaller size, I feel like I get more attention from men, but I also feel like I'm standing on new, shaky legs. This is new territory. I see more flaws now than i saw at 220...just proof that weight loss doesn't solve every problem.

    The good news I can offer is that once I became aware of it, I worked at trying to figure out why I didn't feel as sexy...was it because now I really didn't have clothes that fit well? (yes) Was it because this new body felt like a strangers? (yes). The more time I spend in this skin, the better I feel.

    You totally have even more reason though, with having had a child and the hormonal changes and stress that comes with being a new mom. I'm glad you have a supportive husband. I hope you can find time to appreciate your new body and your hard work, and start to feel sexy again!

Categories