From "you look great" to "I'm worried, you're too thin"

SimonLondon

I love my friends and family but sometimes they can be really annoying :explode:

I've lost 45lb and up until 10lb ago they have all been supportive and congratulated me. Now they are "concerned" that I am looking too thin and need to put weight back on. They think that I'm not eating anywhere near enough. This would be OK if my ribs were showing through and I looked gaunt but seriously check my profile for pics taken last week. Does that look too thin and gaunt?

Every week it's "You've lost a LOT more weight" and "you're not eating anywhere near enough!".... aaarrrghhh! - I would be SERIOUSLY impressed if they really could notice a 1/2lb loss over a week! (I know I can't and I'm the one looking in the mirror)

I am very happy with my current weight and I think I look pretty healthy...so why do they all keep saying a I need to put more weight on :sad:

bebbjeb

Congrats for reaching your goal!!
What's important is that YOU are happy! And you should be - you look great!
Family and friends can sometimes be jealous that you've done so well. I'm starting to hear my family say that I shouldn't lose any more weight but I want to shed another 4kg!

CarolJW

The same thing happened to me. They are just used to seeing you with the weight that without the extra lbs you don't look the same to them. My problem was my weight loss all went to my neck! I have a skinny neck anyways then weight loss made it look much skinner. But I still had my butt. And some jelly in the front too. SO I wasn't fully happy. Just smile,

lulabellewoowoo

You look toned. But if they annoy you too much, go get some blood work and show them that all your counts are good and you have not done any damage to your body. Are you looking to lose more, or just maintain, or tone more? I understand family showing concern, especially when dedication to a healthy lifestyle seems like an 'obsession" to some. (Duh, it's a healthy LIFEstyle, which means, there has to be some sort of obsession to stick to it in this "fast food/processed" world).

Keep up your healthy lifestyle. Your hardwork has paid off. You should definitely post some before and after pics too. Those always motivate the rest of us.

Best wishes.

victoriavvi

Maybe they're not used to seeing you looking that thin. lol I'd get the opposite when I was too skinny they tell me I still look fat. My sister the other day asked me "You still going to the gym?" and I was like, "Yeah I lost almost 10lbs." So she says, "Why do you still look pudgy?" ARGH!! lol

lulabellewoowoo

Maybe they're not used to seeing you looking that thin. lol I'd get the opposite when I was too skinny they tell me I still look fat. My sister the other day asked me "You still going to the gym?" and I was like, "Yeah I lost almost 10lbs." So she says, "Why do you still look pudgy?" ARGH!! lol

Okay, if a friend said that, I'd say find new friends. But family? Really? You are doing AWESOME! Don't let anyone discourage you from your positive move forward. Take each step to look even more smokin' hot inside and out and watch them just stare.

Ms_Natalie

You look fantastic and in great shape.

I agree with the above posters...when someone loses a lot of weight, it is a shock to other people's systems...if you have known them for sometime and were always 45lbs overweight, they have a memory inside their heads of you being this weight for a considerable time. When they see you "for real" this conflicts with the previous memory they have of you and leads them to think you're too slim, only because they are not used to your new body. This kind of cognition is vastly researched in psychology and there is great evidence that suggests that people's internal past memories are very powerful.

As long as you are healthy...there's no need to worry about it...they will come round to your new body and eventually realise that you are the healthiest you've been in a long time.

It's the way these people are thinking that is required change....so don't worry about it...nothing to do with you.

You look fantastic :flowerforyou:

Shy1979

Don't let them discourage you! You're doing great! I agree with a previous poster, that they are probably not used to seeing you like that ... it's going to take a while for people to get used to the slimmer you!

SimonLondon

Are you looking to lose more, or just maintain, or tone more?

No more loss, very happy where I am. I have done very little weights so was doing about 90% cardio. I'm now going to do a bit of a switch so I can tone up a bit more.

I like the blood test idea, maybe that will keep them quiet. They know that my blood pressure is FINALLY bang on where it should be (after 6 years of being VERY high) and my heart is much stronger. When I first started my Heart Beat was around 185 on any kind of cardio. But now, even after an hour on a treadmill, it can't get past 130

I feel great and so full of energy. I just wish they would get off my back about this :explode:

kpnuts23

You look great and your stomach looks so toned, so good on you for getting as far as you have...:drinker:
Personally, you dont need to loose anymore weight, you dont look too thin AT ALL!!! Saying that, maybe work on weights like you have said and build up some muscle definition in your arms?? maybe?

its what you feel though.. no one can tell you what to do, its what YOU want to do!

Katherine x x

jenniferscheller

I think you look great! you have good musle tone maybe they are just used to the old you.:happy:

kwaters7

Hey Simon

Ditto on the comments... Just gotta suck it up I suppose, no point justifying to anyone but yourself. Culturally in the UK especially, i think people just can be fairly negative by default. It's easier to shoot things down than to praise them (of course moderate success is praised as it doesnt make other people uncomfortable). You walk/jog 5k in 45 mins, or lose 2lbs in a month, people congratulate you (and for some this is indeed great dont get me wrong!) , but if dare get near goal weight or you run sub 50 10ks before work they think you're a fanatic ha ha.

Hang in there bud, you're doing great! Funnily enough, I never remember anyone expressing any concern when i was much heavier and unhealthier than I am now, i'm guessing its the same for you?

ps

For my own peace of mind, anyone says i'm too thin, i know I'm the one with abs, and a weakling cant drop and do 100+ push ups on demand....

kah78

I'd just tell them "Don't worry--the doctor says I'm doing great". I think it's usually a combo of sub/unconscious envy, and what the other posters were talking about concerning past memories. I just hit a healthy BMI (i.e not overweight), and someone made a comment like that to me, so I told them that I can lose another 35 lbs before I'm considered underweight. I think that shocked them a bit! Keep up the good work!

snookeroo

Share your BMI with them. Let the numbers speak for themselves.
I have heard similar remarks and I am at the high end of my BMI range. I want to get to the middle.

hamiltonba

I think you look hot!! Are they overweight? If the people that are telling you this are in great shape themselves, maybe I would worry, but if the people who are telling you this need to lose some weight themselves, I would look at it as envy. I would however not tell them if you are still counting calories.

CoachFoland

I get this constantly. I've lost 35lbs. I get it from friends and family. I continue to tell them, "I'm not skinny, I'm fit!" I believe it's an insecurity on their part (because they've been unsuccessful i maintaining a healthy lifestyle), as well as societies distorted view of the world now (because it seems everyone is overweight). When I hear that comment, I immediately call them a "hater" and ask them if they want to feel my abs :laugh:

melgibson

Ignore them and the next time someone says something negative say "ah shut up!!"
You don't look underweight to me at all.
I get that all the time and it bugs me too, I do this for me and want to be healthy and slim for me, not to get negative (or even positive one either come to think of it) remarks from others and I FEEL GREAT.
If you feel great too then just dismiss it and get on with your day.
Some people have no idea how it feels to live in a FIT body.
If they new they'd still be congratulating you!!

Keep at it I say ) All the best xx

richmondhillgal

I did that last year or likley the year before. I walked quite a bit, lost a lot of weight and loved the new me. Then an overweight "friend" kept telling me I needed to eat a potato or some such crap. She kept telling me and believe it or not I started feeling guilty for being thin and here I am 2-3 years later 15 pounds heavier and hating her and myself. Unless a doctor tells you to stop losing, tell those people to STFU! Maybe jealousy on their part.

jmathews

I get this constantly. I've lost 35lbs. I get it from friends and family. I continue to tell them, "I'm not skinny, I'm fit!" I believe it's an insecurity on their part (because they've been unsuccessful i maintaining a healthy lifestyle), as well as societies distorted view of the world now (because it seems everyone is overweight). When I hear that comment, I immediately call them a "hater" and ask them if they want to feel my abs :laugh:

I tell my family/friends the same thing..."I'm not skinny, I'm fit!" I lost 55lbs in 7 months last year and have been maintaining since September. I tell all the "haters" that they better get used to how I look because I will NEVER go back to how I was. I still have people coming up to me asking, "you aren't losing more weight, are you?" I tell them that I'm looking smaller because I'm working on muscle tone. (with a big smile!) I'm loving being a HOT mom...

Holton

People have also become "concerned" that I am trying to lose too much weight, as I tell them I have 8 more pounds to go to reach my goal. They say, no no, you don't need to lose anymore weight. I inform them of my height and of the weight chart for my height and that the goal I have set for myself (after talking with my well educated doctor!) is at the midpoint of the range, which is a very healthy place to be, as I have no interest in weighing in at the lower end, where I would be anorexic looking. I just think people that those last 10 pounds are going to make me look gaunt when in actuality they are going to make me look more fit. I just ignore them, as I know the goal I have set for myself is very realistic and has the stamp of approval from my physician whom I trust and admire. You know your body, your height and weight appropriate range, so just smile and know they are obviously jealous!

CreativeRedhead

Hahaha I can't believe someone told you that you're too thin! Silly people. :laugh: You know I think you look great! Maybe they just need to come around and get used to the new you. On a side note, I hope you post up pics after you've "toned" for a bit.