Man to Man: A Support System for Men (part 2)

ccgisme

When I was a jolly santa claus with a big belly and the sex appeal of a wildebeest, this was never an issue. Now that I'm a little trimmer I find that I'm not always treated with the same friendly dismisal that I used to enjoy. I'm even being a little careful with this stuff now. I've been meeting hostility since about the time the 32 waist jeans started fitting. ""


Imagine your wife has a working lunch with Norm from Cheers... would you care? Now imagine she has a working lunch with George Clooney - care now don'tcha sparky? :laugh: (I'm certainly not GC, but you get my point). If you've been,,, less appealing(?) for a long time as most of us have, this might be a whole new deal for you. It's something to be aware of.

Oh man, there's so much here Casper, we could rif on this for months... This statement "Now that I'm a little trimmer I find that I'm not always treated with the same friendly dismisal that I used to enjoy" applies to lots of different contexts - not just flirtation (and as a unrepentant English Major, I must say it's very well phrased).

Thanks for the cautionary tale.

paullie_t

Sign me up for the challenge. I've lost 34 pounds lost since February.

My wife finally convinced me to do some clothes shopping and I could not believe my eyes when I was able to button up and move around in a pair of 38" jeans. I have been parked in 42" jeans for several years now. This was a very motivational moment for me to keep going!

My wife was not shocked, however as she was the one insisting I try on the 38"s first instead of the 40"'s. She is proud of the work I've done to lose this weight.

Another motivational moment about a month ago, I found out that I could comfortably wear XL size polo shirts instead of the XXL size I'd been wearing for years.

CasperO

Yeah,,, that's #$*%in' kewl ain't it? Don't buy too many pairs - you won't be in them that long.

Rock on compadre.

ccgisme

Sign me up for the challenge. I've lost 34 pounds lost since February.

My wife finally convinced me to do some clothes shopping and I could not believe my eyes when I was able to button up and move around in a pair of 38" jeans. I have been parked in 42" jeans for several years now. This was a very motivational moment for me to keep going!

My wife was not shocked, however as she was the one insisting I try on the 38"s first instead of the 40"'s. She is proud of the work I've done to lose this weight.

Another motivational moment about a month ago, I found out that I could comfortably wear XL size polo shirts instead of the XXL size I'd been wearing for years.

Good for you. It is a great feeling. Casper's right - get what you need to get by. You'll be shopping for 36"s soon enough :bigsmile:

I'll include you on the challenge.

Umpire57

I weighed in today at 226.0 (Lowest I have ever been in my adult life - I can say that every time I get lower from this point forward)

I don't know if I will be any good in a challenge any more but I am willing to throw my updates in.

CasperO

Great job Ump.

I'm skipping the challenge. I've lost about 67 pounds as of today,,, weighed in this morning right in the middle of the 200-205 range I've chosen. I'm on maintenance and don't want to lose any more. Looking to build some lean and lose a little more bodyfat, but I don't want to get any smaller right now.

scott24

I've had my good-feeling moments - a time or two a co-worker comments on the fact that I've obviously lost some weight. I visited my mother this past weekend and she was surprised to hug me and get her arms all the way around me. The real kicker was today, when I walked through the "questionable" neighborhood that I've been walking during my lunch hour since April, passing by these guys who - perhaps due to lack of jobs or desire to have one - always seem to be reclining on their front porch. One of the guys who always seems friendly enough (and trust me - you want to be friendly in this neighborhood) yelled out to me, "Hey man, how much have you lost?" First I thought maybe he was asking if I had been mugged/robbed lately but then remembering that a month or so back he asked why I walked every day - to which I told him I was trying to lose weight. I was so pumped to yell back at him, "43 pounds, man!" "Cool, dude," was his reply. To even get recognition in the hood for my efforts totally made my day!

summersmi

gotta skip on the challenge. I'm only a few puonds from my goal.

whyflysouth

Casper - I'm not doing much supplementation, I've started taking Creatine Monohydrate powder that I'm mixing with grape juice, and 3.2g of CLA in pill form, and I'll have the occasional protein shake to get protein if there's little meat around, but other than that, trying to eat 5-8 ounces of chicken breast per meal, and eating at least 1 cup of cottage cheese a day to keep the protein up. Drinking allot of water also.

My progress was running steady, I rather quickly bounced up from 147 to 152 lbs, but that's probably entirely water retention caused by the creatine which I'll cycle off of in 3 more weeks. Been hitting the weights heavy and can't say I've seen much in beginner's gains (at least strength-wise), my muscles are sticking out (especially my chest) but thats probably water retention again... and I'm sore most of the time, and last week I got sick and haven't been to the gym since Wednesday. Beating myself up like this seems to keep the immunity down.

Regarding your story about the guy getting upset over your flirtation now that you're fit and not rotund, I can imagine this as one of the negative side-effects that as you look more appealing to women, you become more of unwelcome competition for the guys around youl. You can't win, lol.

Summersmi, I guess we've got a good number of folks looking to add some lean body mass at this point don't we? Maybe we should have a strength or % body fat challenge rather than weight challenge? Like a 10% gain at the bench or a 2-4% loss of body fat?

rolyprince

Count me in on the challenge too. I've lost 54lbs so far.

I've just got up the confidence to join my local Gym yesterday. I'm starting to feel like I'm not out of place there!!!

Hopefully it's gonna help both me and this group reach our challenge target.

Fingers crossed.

CasperO

<<snip>> I was so pumped to yell back at him, "43 pounds, man!" "Cool, dude," was his reply. To even get recognition in the hood for my efforts totally made my day!

That's rox Scott. Excellent,,,

DanOhh

I guess I've been hanging out with the chicks too much. I've been here all this time and didn't know that we had a private "cigar" room. Cool, I'll have to keep peekin' in here from time to time.

rockinright

Anyone here have a wife trying to lose weight too?

Since men do usually lose faster, I've lost 17 and she 10, should I keep my numbers to myself or should I share them and see if it encourages her?

Umpire57

Dan, Bout time you got here!

Rockin: I don't hide anything. You have to do what is best for you and encourage her the best you can. That is how I feel anyway.

CasperO

You do your thing and let her do hers. If she's a member here she'll see it - if she looks.

Try not to crow when you do well, she may be struggling. Trust me on this, it's something I've learned a LOT about. Just keep it to yourself, do not make a big deal out of it. She may feel that she's in competition with you, and that's tough. Just do what you do and keep on keeping on.

The upside of this is that you don't have to deal with her wanting stuffed crust pizza,,, she's watching what she eats too, so making smart choices is easier.

DanOhh

My wife knows my numbers but only when she asks. She knows I've lost weight and if she wants any advise she'll ask (which she'll ask for every now and then) and I'll give her as much as I can BUT won't ever tell her that she needs to do this or that, that would be suicide.

Umpire57

Sometimes it is that way when they ask. They ask, you answer their questions truthfully but yet it is not the answer they want.

I have always had a problem I inherited from my Mom. I need a better filter between my brain and my mouth

CasperO

My filter is recently installed, usually works, sometimes doesn't. I find that my world is a different place at 202 lbs than it was at 270,,, and less friendly and forgiving in a lot of ways. I'm trying to choose my words very carefully nowadays, and it seems to be helping. Since I started my weight loss journey I've said quite a few things that 'came out wrong' and I hurt some people (esp my wife) and I'm trying not to do that anymore.

Sometimes people are taken aback when they ask a question and I just sit there and stare into space for 15 seconds before I answer. They're not used to that. I'm just sitting there playing mental chess,,, figuring out all the different ways my comment could be taken. And if I can't be sure about what I'm saying I reserve the right to say "I'm going to shut up now" and leave it at that.

A closed mouth gathers no feet. :laugh:

Umpire57

I don't think I have room in mine for many more feet, I thought I only had 2 feet but apparently I was WRONG!

With that said, Where did you pick up that filter and can you lead me to where I can get one on the cheap?

CasperO

I guess I just finally developed a bit of "Spider-sense". I get that feeling of 'I'm about to do it again', and I just freeze. Stop, think, reconsider.

It took a big adjustment for me because I have a huge ego and I tend to think "Well,,, I'm a genius, so if I think it-believe it-wanna say it, then it must be right". Having this blow up in my face 3,684 times of the past 30 years has finally proven that this is not the case,,, and I've finally learned that my first instinct is often (wife would say usually) wrong.

I just slowed down. Try it,,, it makes people think you're thoughtful, and wise (or constipated). Either way it's good. :laugh:

DanOhh

How come my filter winds up being 2 feet (either mine or her's) in the mouth?

Umpire57

"Well,,, I'm a genius, so if I think it-believe it-wanna say it, then it must be right".

That has been my motto for years. Even when I was bigger than my house I always had a high opinion of myself which frustrates my wife to no end!

CasperO

I wonder if big guys get that mindset to compensate for another perceived shortcoming? I'm pretty sure I did,,,

rockinright

I wonder if big guys get that mindset to compensate for another perceived shortcoming? I'm pretty sure I did,,,

I've been on both ends. As a kid, I was short and skinny. Got picked last in gym class, and all that. Now I'm still short (5'7) and fat. Also bald...nature is cruel, isn't she?

iplayoutside19

I've been away on vacation for a week. Before that my wife was out of town working on her Master's so I didn't have a lot of time to participate on MFP. So it's time to get back on track. I've spent this week just getting the nutrition part back on track. Next week it will be time to get back on the excersise band wagon. I'm honeslty anxious to see how my running goes when it's 100 degrees with a DP of 76. (There's a certain "yes I'm a freak and badass" element to that.)

As for the mouth filter thing. I've always been a pretty confident guy, but I would have to say my filter has deteririerated (sp/) with the more weight I lose.

ccgisme

Filters are important. I'm pretty sure I've managed to get both of my feet and both of my wife's fists in my mouth at least 2x in the last 15 years.

My wife is on MFP. Actually, she found it first and I jumped on a few days later. I've lost 37 pounds and she's only lost a few. She's had lots of health struggles and so counting calories has not always been her top priority and exercise can be difficult even painful (bad back and feet). I tell her what I'm doing - she sees me exercising and posting on this forum all the time, but I try not to gloat. It can become a competition and that's not going to help either of us!

Luckily for me, I'm a pretty good cook and we both like to eat (part of what got us here). So, food and healthy food ideas are usually a safe topic when other conversations might be sensitive.

iplayoutside19

My wife is on MFP too. Capser even made a pass at her once ; )

Before vacation we had lost 100 lbs combined. She was actually on here first, and we're both pretty active in the forums. When it comes to success and failures I think we handle it pretty well. The biggest problem we have is I consume 1000 more calories than her without excersise, on days that I run that can get up to 2000-2500 calories. I think that irritates her more than she lets on, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it besides not rub it in when I could theorecticly consume an entire pizza and still be under.

CasperO

Well how could I not? She's hot,,, :laugh:

That's a bit of an issue in my house too - but not too much 'cause she's a pretty light eater and doesn't really want more food than she gets. The real issue in my house is that she has to eat gluten free, which means no wheat, and we both love french bread and baguette and pasta and stuff like that. I'm still eating it, and she can't, and that sux.

Here lately she's even struggling with a digestive issue and can't seem to get enough food down. I do try not to pig out in front of her.

daved71

My wife is also on here and we have both lost around 36 pounds. We do weigh in together and our dinners are the same. Everything else is different. I find it easier having her going on this journey together.

iplayoutside19

It's someone's birthday here in the office, so there crap to eat all over the place. So, another co-worker and I were having a discussion about refined sugar and about how it's probably the worst thing you can consume...even more so than saturated fat. Research is starting to emerge that might be the case, but you'll still get a lot of different opinions on this.

I side that refined sugar is worse, only becuase it does nothing to fill you up. If I go slam some wings I'm at least going to be stuffed, not so with M&M's, Cake, or my arch nemises Mt Dew.

So I got to thinking. On Monday I vow to not consume any refined sugar until Labor Day. I'm not sure if this will increase weight loss, but at least I know I'll feel a hell of a lot better. If anyone wants to join me I guess we could call this a "challenge" and post our progress and failures along the way.