So...Pre-Nups...are bad??

Options
2

Replies

  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Options
    It is simple in society women want their cake and eat it too. They want equal rights but want the benefits of the old ways. The whole marriage thing has always been a religious ceremony. Only when the Gov got involved did it become about assets. In the eyes of the law it is 50/50 yet 99% of the time women make out in a divorce.

    So what is it for the man? The laws are biased against him, he loses wealth....so if it is truly about love why not do a prenuptial? `

    Someone got burned once or twice.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Options
    My husband and I were dirt poor when we got married, so no pre-nup needed. Thank goodness. Now if we were to split up (not going to happen), everything in the household would be split.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    Options
    RUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    Options
    My husband and I were dirt poor when we got married, so no pre-nup needed. Thank goodness. Now if we were to split up (not going to happen), everything in the household would be split.



    i quoted this but im in the same s ituation
  • squirrelzzrule22
    squirrelzzrule22 Posts: 640 Member
    Options
    It's not just money. You can workout custody, property, a variety of things in a prenup. You can account for things that could happen after a divorce- I promise to help out if you get terminally ill after the divorce and we have children together , etc.

    As a lawyer, I will have one without a doubt.
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    Options
    I am a "soon to be lawyer" and no pre-nup here. They don't hold water in California anyway.
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
    Options
    I don't have one -- though I considered it. My first husband was so very bad (not to mention close to being criminal...may very well have been criminal, now that I think about it) about money that I was very cautious going into my second marriage.

    We don't pool money or credit, and I own my home with only my name on the mortgage (I had bought the house prior to meeting my second husband). I think I would be OK with sharing a mortgage if we decide to buy another home.
  • whatshouldieat
    whatshouldieat Posts: 101 Member
    Options
    I think Grumpy 2208 states it best. A pre-nup is definetly a must in these days. Until the courts see that woman and men are equal a pre-nup is a must. I will never get married unless she signs a pre-nup. I don't believe anyone should get another person's assets just because they were married or have to take on someone else's DEBT due to there poor money skills. I understand splitting what two people earned together while married, but buy no means should someone get half a house that I built with my bare hands or land that belongs to me. Life is not always fair, and when it comes to DIVORCE it is never fair, either way the man will always get the shaft.
  • kellijauch
    kellijauch Posts: 379 Member
    Options
    I don't think Pre-Nups are bad. If I ever marry my boyfriend (which I hope to) we'll have a pre-nup. He's been married and divorced, and his ex-wife took him to the cleaners. It's not entrering into the marriage preparing for divorce, it's just a precautionary method to protect yourself. He owns a home, I don't. That's his house, and even if we get married, I am not entitled to half of it if we get divorced. It's his. Same thing with his musical equipment and all of my artwork and jewelry. Those are things that are very much Only ours, that we purchased seperately. He's not getting my paintings or jewelry, and I'm not taking his house or musical equipment. Really, it's out of respect for each other, and who cares, just sign it. Hopefully it won't matter anyways.
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    Options
    It is simple in society women want their cake and eat it too. They want equal rights but want the benefits of the old ways. The whole marriage thing has always been a religious ceremony. Only when the Gov got involved did it become about assets. In the eyes of the law it is 50/50 yet 99% of the time women make out in a divorce.

    So what is it for the man? The laws are biased against him, he loses wealth....so if it is truly about love why not do a prenuptial? `

    Marriage was ALL about assets in the middle ages, and before and since. I read a great book about it at uni. Women's power was slowly eroded through the wording of contracts of marriage.

    I do believe that a man or woman who has given up their own career to support a family, on the understanding that their efforts would be valued as equal to earning money, should have that role recognised in a divorce. For someone to become destitute because of divorce would be wrong. However, when no such sacrifice in earnings has taken place, it does sometimes seem very unfair.
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    Options
    I think Grumpy 2208 states it best. A pre-nup is definetly a must in these days. Until the courts see that woman and men are equal a pre-nup is a must. I will never get married unless she signs a pre-nup. I don't believe anyone should get another person's assets just because they were married or have to take on someone else's DEBT due to there poor money skills. I understand splitting what two people earned together while married, but buy no means should someone get half a house that I built with my bare hands or land that belongs to me. Life is not always fair, and when it comes to DIVORCE it is never fair, either way the man will always get the shaft.

    This is rather absurd. It works both ways--in today's day and age men receive alimony, shares of assets that they have no entitlement to, and the like. This isn't the 1960s.
  • MyPsalm63
    MyPsalm63 Posts: 303
    Options
    I wouldn't have signed one...nor would I have asked my spouse. No need in my eyes. There would be no point. We are together till death.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Options
    No I have been happily married for 17 years now, no pre-nup. I have just seen many many men get the shaft with no Vaseline. I have heard women tell men ****ty things about child support. I am not bitter, I am just VERY business minded and a marriage is a business in the eye of the law.

    It is simple in society women want their cake and eat it too. They want equal rights but want the benefits of the old ways. The whole marriage thing has always been a religious ceremony. Only when the Gov got involved did it become about assets. In the eyes of the law it is 50/50 yet 99% of the time women make out in a divorce.

    So what is it for the man? The laws are biased against him, he loses wealth....so if it is truly about love why not do a prenuptial? `

    Someone got burned once or twice.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    Options
    While men CAN benefit from a marriage/divorce, I think you are delusional if you think that is anything but the VAST MINORITY of the time. My ex was only with me for money. Luckily, I stuck it out until she screwed herself ever real good. When I divorced her, she got 3k in cash and a 10 year old beat up SUV. I got everything else, including my kids. That being said, I will not roll the dice again. IF I ever decide to get married again, there will be a prenup. And it will state that in the event of a divorce, the she will get NOTHING that she did not pay for out of her own income. Neither of us gets allimony, any share of the others retirement, or anything provided by the income of the other. And I will not combine income. If someone wants to be with me, it will be to be with me. Not for any financial gain.

    If that means I stay single, so be it. Better than to be tied to someone who is in love with my salary and not me. I have given up on even dating at this point, anyway. The only woman in my life is the gym.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Options
    I wouldn't have signed one...nor would I have asked my spouse. No need in my eyes. There would be no point. We are together till death.

    Most people do not believe in this " together until death" it is not believed "until things get tough".
  • MyPsalm63
    MyPsalm63 Posts: 303
    Options
    That's a very sad thing
    I wouldn't have signed one...nor would I have asked my spouse. No need in my eyes. There would be no point. We are together till death.

    Most people do not believe in this " together until death" it is not believed "until things get tough".
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    Options
    I wouldn't have signed one...nor would I have asked my spouse. No need in my eyes. There would be no point. We are together till death.

    While I believe in "together until death" it takes two that believe it. And when you find out too late that your spouse actually believes "together until I don't get to blow all of your money" it is good to be protected.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Options
    I agree with you. I married my wife until death as well. Unfortunately things get tough, but we have stuck it through.

    That's a very sad thing
    I wouldn't have signed one...nor would I have asked my spouse. No need in my eyes. There would be no point. We are together till death.

    Most people do not believe in this " together until death" it is not believed "until things get tough".
  • AuddAlise
    AuddAlise Posts: 723 Member
    Options
    It is simple in society women want their cake and eat it too. They want equal rights but want the benefits of the old ways. The whole marriage thing has always been a religious ceremony. Only when the Gov got involved did it become about assets. In the eyes of the law it is 50/50 yet 99% of the time women make out in a divorce.

    So what is it for the man? The laws are biased against him, he loses wealth....so if it is truly about love why not do a prenuptial? `

    Speaking from experience?

    If, heaven forbid, my husband and I divorced I wouldn't want ANY of his stuff. All I want is what I came in to the marriage with. Not all women are like ^^that^^.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
    Options
    nm

Categories