Guys ALWAYS say "confidence matters" LOL.

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  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
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    See you still think its about gender, its about humanity. Male, female irrelevant! You should be nice to a person REGARDLESS.:huh:
    [/quote]

    I'm just saying male or female, confident or not, if I don't like you, being nice doesn't matter...
  • originalcookiemonster
    originalcookiemonster Posts: 278
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    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...

    Treating somebody nice isn't a quality. Its a requirement. Like breathing. You are not a super hero with breathing power. You are an average person doing what every alive human being isn'ld be doing. Breathing. So is being nice. You SHOULD be nice.

    You know what I think is Bologna? The fact that kids nowadays think that if you start acting nice, some girl will magically come and sit in your lap. Men don't even bother asking her out. They just expects things for being nice. And when you do this to a friend and she calls you her friend and not your boyfriend you say you're "friendzoned" when in reality.. you never even made a move or asked her out.
    Thank you! I hate self righteous "nice guys" that complain how they have been so nice to some girl but she won't sleep with them and they don't know why. Because being nice isn't a ticket into someone's pants, it's a behavior and we should all practice it regardless.

    Being nice isn't a requirement, when a girl likes you, most of the time being a jerk doesn't change her mind...
    See you still think its about gender, its about humanity. Male, female irrelevant! You should be nice to a person REGARDLESS.:huh:

    All extremely good points. I agree it does happen to both guys and girls, I just find that sometimes the argument shifts and I suppose that irritates me. I agree, being "nice" should be a requirement as a human being and Taunto, I think you're right.

    I also agree that whether you're a man or a woman, if attraction isn't there, confidence makes no difference. It won't be the determining factor.

    Interesting thoughts. :D
  • originalcookiemonster
    originalcookiemonster Posts: 278
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    Sorry. I ain't feelin' it.

    I could DEFINITELY feel some of that. How YOU doin? :wink:
  • mlcantwell
    mlcantwell Posts: 243 Member
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    See you still think its about gender, its about humanity. Male, female irrelevant! You should be nice to a person REGARDLESS.:huh:


    YES
    I'm with you. If someone is rude or disrespectful to me, I don't care how attracted to them I Was, I'm now disgusted and uninterested.
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
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    Treating somebody nice isn't a quality. Its a requirement. Like breathing. You are not a super hero with breathing power. You are an average person doing what every alive human being should be doing. Breathing. So is being nice. You SHOULD be nice.

    You know what I think is Bologna? The fact that kids nowadays think that if you start acting nice, some girl will magically come and sit in your lap. Men don't even bother asking her out. They just expects things for being nice. And when you do this to a friend and she calls you her friend and not your boyfriend you say you're "friendzoned" when in reality.. you never even made a move or asked her out.
    Thank you! I hate self righteous "nice guys" that complain how they have been so nice to some girl but she won't sleep with them and they don't know why. Because being nice isn't a ticket into someone's pants, it's a behavior and we should all practice it regardless.

    Hear hear! Two people on this forum who talk a lot of sense.

    OP: You know what, it's true. It's a fact of life. I work in a cafe and there's a customer the girls I work with call Superman because apparently he's the hottest guy in the world. No idea what he's like outside of the coffee shop, but he's still Superman to them lol.
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
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    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...

    Treating somebody nice isn't a quality. Its a requirement. Like breathing. You are not a super hero with breathing power. You are an average person doing what every alive human being should be doing. Breathing. So is being nice. You SHOULD be nice.

    You know what I think is Bologna? The fact that kids nowadays think that if you start acting nice, some girl will magically come and sit in your lap. Men don't even bother asking her out. They just expects things for being nice. And when you do this to a friend and she calls you her friend and not your boyfriend you say you're "friendzoned" when in reality.. you never even made a move or asked her out.

    tumblr_ll3my50BlO1qbzqexo1_500_zps51d8e004.gif
  • fufi04
    fufi04 Posts: 471 Member
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    Girls say the same thing. I just want someone who treats me nice. Bologna haha...

    This :D
    Sad but true.
  • djsupreme6
    djsupreme6 Posts: 1,210 Member
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    lol...this is one of those subjects that could be argued for days
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Confidence

    Sense of Humor

    Nice Smile

    Good Cook

    Employed

    No drama

    Can handle being with a King!!!
  • MeanSophieCat
    MeanSophieCat Posts: 200 Member
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    Attraction is also a very basic thing. You find someone attractive or you don't. The good news is that there is a wide-range of what people find attractive. I think where confidence comes in is that someone who is not comfortable with themselves is going to be less attractive than they normally would be. Be the best you - whatever that means for you - and you will be the most attractive person YOU can be.
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
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    I understand the sentiment of the original post but I think when people talk about confidence, they talk about it as a main quality and not thee quality they are attracted to. I dig a girl with confidence but its not all I look for in a person.
  • redredfox
    redredfox Posts: 76 Member
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    I don't care how hot you are... if you have zero confidence, are insecure or are an as*, your looks will only carry you so far. People are surprised when an attractive couple split up and they say, "How could he break up with her? She is so gorgeous??!!" Well, maybe he/she was a jerk or a lunatic. Looks are still important and we can't deny it. I would be a liar if I said that attraction is of no importance. It's all about the whole package. Looks are what first draws us in and the personality is what lasts forever... so don't let either fall to the wayside.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
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    Confidence is important but you're right, if there's no physical attraction, it probably doesn't matter much. On the other hand, nervousness can be charming too. You know, when a guy is all shy to hit on you and you can tell it probably took him a while to work up the courage to talk to you...that's adorable.
  • phinphanbill26
    phinphanbill26 Posts: 574 Member
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    She has to have a nice personality. Yeah, that's it, a nice personality!
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
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    in, this could get interesting.

    edit to add I'm definitely in the group who sometimes is lacking in confidence, then again depending on the day or mood,
    I'm way over confident, so it balances out I guess.
  • buffty
    buffty Posts: 83
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    What's wrong with being humble and modest? I find it incredibly attractive in a man, confidence actually turns me off. But that's just me....
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    A person can be humble and still be confident. To be humble is to not think you are better or more important than everyone else. To be confident is to believe in yourself, to believe that you are good enough and that you don't need to compensate for being "less than" whomever you are dating.

    And is any of this really a revelation? Hasn't it always been the case that a person must be attractive (to you) before you would consider dating him or her but that looks are not the only thing that matters? I don't think this is unmarked territory.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
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    What's wrong with being humble and modest? I find it incredibly attractive in a man, confidence actually turns me off. But that's just me....

    confidence isn't the same as being a a*hole. you can be confident and humble at the same time.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
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    A person can be humble and still be confident. To be humble is to not think you are better or more important than everyone else. To be confident is to believe in yourself, to believe that you are good enough and that you don't need to compensate for being "less than" whomever you are dating.

    And is any of this really a revelation? Hasn't it always been the case that a person must be attractive (to you) before you would consider dating him or her but that looks are not the only thing that matters? I don't think this is unmarked territory.

    I've been friends with guys who I didn't find attractive, and later on I would have dated them if I was single. After getting to know them, they became attractive to me, and the reverse can happen too.
  • LokiOfAsgard
    LokiOfAsgard Posts: 378 Member
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    The thing about confidence, I think, is that it makes you carry yourself different.

    You really do look different with a lot of confidence, as compared to no confidence.

    A girl with little confidence would most likely be very quiet and out of the way and trying to not be noticed.
    A girl with confidence would be louder and wouldn't care about trying to hide themselves.

    And that's the difference right there. I don't think it's truly the fact that confidence is hot, it's just more interesting than a lack of confidence.

    But now, you maybe right. If they guy's not attracted to you, then confidence probably wouldn't do much. (Unless he's only not attracted to you because he doesn't notice you or doesn't like quiet types)

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