Husband needs to exercise...just a rant.

ShellGetsFit
ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!
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Replies

  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    He has to want it, in time he might.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    I'm kind of joking, but not really...

    Get a life insurance policy on him...something really high. Then leave it out on the counter and start frying everything...breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Start leaving brochures around the house for dream homes, cars, etc.

    I'd get my *kitten* in gear with the quickness.
  • ImtheOnethatsCool
    ImtheOnethatsCool Posts: 212 Member
    Put his dinner at the end of the driveway - at least then he'd get in a few extra steps.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    I'm kind of joking, but not really...

    Get a life insurance policy on him...something really high. Then leave it out on the counter and start frying everything...breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Start leaving brochures around the house for dream homes, cars, etc.

    I'd get my *kitten* in gear with the quickness.

    in all honesty, it would be a good idea anyway, and make him pay for it. if he doesn't sort himself out, you will need a good pay out.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
    Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!

    I've got an idea....a foolproof idea......I can't talk about the details on here but you can PM me......Basically it's a reward system.......Every time he goes to the gym he gets a "reward" for a "best job" of working out. Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.
  • cgrout78
    cgrout78 Posts: 1,628 Member
    We have a family membership to the Y, which my husband NEVER uses...and the more fit I get...the more I encourage him and want him to look hot too...but it doesn't really seem to work.

    They have to want it themselves, and no amount of begging, nagging or prodding from us is going to make it happen.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
    Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!

    I've got an idea....a foolproof idea......I can't talk about the details on here but you can PM me......Basically it's a reward system.......Every time he goes to the gym he gets a "reward" for a "best job" of working out. Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

    /end of thread.

    Love bank!!!
  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
    Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
    Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!

    I've got an idea....a foolproof idea......I can't talk about the details on here but you can PM me......Basically it's a reward system.......Every time he goes to the gym he gets a "reward" for a "best job" of working out. Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    You know what, you might have it there!!! I think that could be some strong motivation for him! Worth a shot at any rate.
  • earl_grey
    earl_grey Posts: 9 Member
    It sounds like you exercise frequently, have you asked him to come along? He might be too intimidated to do your exercise of choice (no man wants to have his wife run laps around him), but you could go for walks in the evening or do a family hike on the weekends. Or invite him to try a new sport - especially something competitive that he knows he can beat you in. My husband is crazy competitive - even though he doesn't like to exercise, if I invite him to play racquetball or swim, he can't resist. It's fun and beats sitting on the couch.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    He's aware of it. He'll get to it when he finds the push that he needs.

    My husband told me he basically needs to be made to feel ugly before he will move his butt and watch his calories. Sadly for him, I don't relish the idea of telling him he's fat or ugly. So we're gonna have to find a different way.
  • jessupbrady
    jessupbrady Posts: 508 Member
    We have a family membership to the Y, which my husband NEVER uses...and the more fit I get...the more I encourage him and want him to look hot too...but it doesn't really seem to work.

    They have to want it themselves, and no amount of begging, nagging or prodding from us is going to make it happen.

    If your husbands are refusing to go, just remind them that there are other good looking guys working out and keeping themselves fit that are noticing you are at the gym alone.
  • BigDaddyRonnie
    BigDaddyRonnie Posts: 506 Member
    Simply start with the food shopping and cooking.

    If it is you that does those chores primarily, then you have more control over what is in the house and what is eaten at mealtime and for snacks.

    If it is you that is buying those foods, maybe there is a small part of you that is enabling him to only complain? Just sayin...
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
    Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!

    I've got an idea....a foolproof idea......I can't talk about the details on here but you can PM me......Basically it's a reward system.......Every time he goes to the gym he gets a "reward" for a "best job" of working out. Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    You know what, you might have it there!!! I think that could be some strong motivation for him! Worth a shot at any rate.

    Trust me......It will totally work.
  • ImtheOnethatsCool
    ImtheOnethatsCool Posts: 212 Member
    We have a family membership to the Y, which my husband NEVER uses...and the more fit I get...the more I encourage him and want him to look hot too...but it doesn't really seem to work.

    They have to want it themselves, and no amount of begging, nagging or prodding from us is going to make it happen.

    If your husbands are refusing to go, just remind them that there are other good looking guys working out and keeping themselves fit that are noticing you are at the gym alone.

    And mention that a lot of guys are hitting on you at the gym, so you really need him to have a presence there.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
    Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!

    I've got an idea....a foolproof idea......I can't talk about the details on here but you can PM me......Basically it's a reward system.......Every time he goes to the gym he gets a "reward" for a "best job" of working out. Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    You know what, you might have it there!!! I think that could be some strong motivation for him! Worth a shot at any rate.

    Trust me......It will totally work.

    yep. i would agree.
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
    Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
    Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!

    I've got an idea....a foolproof idea......I can't talk about the details on here but you can PM me......Basically it's a reward system.......Every time he goes to the gym he gets a "reward" for a "best job" of working out. Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    You know what, you might have it there!!! I think that could be some strong motivation for him! Worth a shot at any rate.

    Trust me......It will totally work.

    yep. i would agree.

    Sure it will work in the beginning.He would even go as far as to eat 1200 calories for months to keep making deposits in your love bank.But for how long? What about maintanance? Losing weight and maintaining it for life needs discipline and the right mindset.Its a lifestyle change afterall
  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
    Simply start with the food shopping and cooking.

    If it is you that does those chores primarily, then you have more control over what is in the house and what is eaten at mealtime and for snacks.

    If it is you that is buying those foods, maybe there is a small part of you that is enabling him to only complain? Just sayin...

    Food choices aren't the issue, he eats well...too much but still well. I do not fill our house with crap. I take care of our family, feed them properly and make sure my kids get out and stay active. I however cannot control what he gets at work and how much he eats. Exercise is what he needs the most, he needs to strengthen his core, get some good cardio in and burn calories that way. As he gets stronger the injuries will be less frequent...or so I hope!
  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
    Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
    Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!

    I've got an idea....a foolproof idea......I can't talk about the details on here but you can PM me......Basically it's a reward system.......Every time he goes to the gym he gets a "reward" for a "best job" of working out. Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    You know what, you might have it there!!! I think that could be some strong motivation for him! Worth a shot at any rate.

    Trust me......It will totally work.

    yep. i would agree.

    Sure it will work in the beginning.He would even go as far as to eat 1200 calories for months to keep making deposits in your love bank.But for how long? What about maintanance? Losing weight and maintaining it for life needs discipline and the right mindset.Its a lifestyle change afterall

    Good point, I guess it would be my hope that once he got started he would want to continue, it would become a way of life for him.
  • That must be pretty annoying. I've tried to get a few fat people to workout and as soon as they start seeing results they think its ok to pig out again. That sex idea is the best bet.
  • DeeDiddyGee
    DeeDiddyGee Posts: 601 Member
    Put his dinner at the end of the driveway - at least then he'd get in a few extra steps.

    KILLING myself laughing! :laugh:
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Ok, I really need to rant to someone and who better than all of you on here?! My husband is 6' 7" and probably a good 50+ lbs over weight. He is constantly injuring himself, complaining about being fat, exhausted, grouchy....need I go on? Every time I hear one of these complaints my response is "I know how to fix that..." To which I hear "Yes dear." His Mother is extremely over weight, morbidly obese, at about 500-600lbs and I don't understand how that alone wouldn't motivate him to better himself. My Father passed away in March after a lengthy battle with his health, due to not taking care of himself. Our kids try to encourage him, I try, his friends try...nothing works. I know it has to come in his own time but I just really wish it would happen before something terrible happens to him. I wish he would realize how much better he would feel, that these injuries would be less frequent, and he would just live a better life. *sigh*
    Thanks to anyone who reads this, I just really needed to get that out there! If anyone has any motivational tips I'd love to hear! Yes, yes, yes I know he has to want it, I know he is the only one who can change it...but maybe someone has something to help?!

    I've got an idea....a foolproof idea......I can't talk about the details on here but you can PM me......Basically it's a reward system.......Every time he goes to the gym he gets a "reward" for a "best job" of working out. Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    You know what, you might have it there!!! I think that could be some strong motivation for him! Worth a shot at any rate.

    Trust me......It will totally work.

    yep. i would agree.

    Sure it will work in the beginning.He would even go as far as to eat 1200 calories for months to keep making deposits in your love bank.But for how long? What about maintanance? Losing weight and maintaining it for life needs discipline and the right mindset.Its a lifestyle change afterall

    Then you change the guidelines....He still gets "Best Job" rewards.......you structure the other rewards off of maintenance so if he keeps the weight off he keeps getting to deposit. This is a partnership and they are in it for the long haul......together.
  • DeeDiddyGee
    DeeDiddyGee Posts: 601 Member
    Whenever he loses weight he gets to make a deposit into your love bank. When he loses 10 lbs he gets to enter through the back door......Make it fun.....keep it interesting. He'll work out and lose weight......guaranteed.

    That can become a real pain in the *kitten*!
  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
    That must be pretty annoying. I've tried to get a few fat people to workout and as soon as they start seeing results they think its ok to pig out again. That sex idea is the best bet.

    Well that's exactly what his Mother did...she exercised, ate well, lost 300lbs and then in 6 months threw it all away and was heavier than ever! It's disgusting!
    I'm really thinking that sex rewards is where it's at!
  • danger_kitteh
    danger_kitteh Posts: 301 Member
    :( I wish I had more advice for you. I've noticed it too over the past year but I'm certainly not going to say anything to him about it -l- What about getting him to take Mr.Jude out for walks again? He could certainly use the exercise too not only for dog weight but to keep him from being squirrely. Plus I'm sure he'd love the time out with Daddy. I think once he gets going and has some nice results (both from the love bank and just feeling better) he will keep up with it. He'll feel better physically and mentally, especially when he knows he'll be able to you know.. um.. do more.. with more, erm.. energy. *L*

    Plus you could always tell him you don't want to find him face down in the front hall closet.
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
    My boyfriend has the opposite problem. He's a rail, and I have more muscle than him. How can I nicely tell him to start, "Picking things up and putting them down" ? :laugh:
  • ShellGetsFit
    ShellGetsFit Posts: 604 Member
    :( I wish I had more advice for you. I've noticed it too over the past year but I'm certainly not going to say anything to him about it -l- What about getting him to take Mr.Jude out for walks again? He could certainly use the exercise too not only for dog weight but to keep him from being squirrely. Plus I'm sure he'd love the time out with Daddy. I think once he gets going and has some nice results (both from the love bank and just feeling better) he will keep up with it. He'll feel better physically and mentally, especially when he knows he'll be able to you know.. um.. do more.. with more, erm.. energy. *L*

    Plus you could always tell him you don't want to find him face down in the front hall closet.

    Haha!!! Thanks Becka! I'll try that one!

    I'm the one that takes Jude out, he's my protector on my night walks. When he takes him it's only to the path/hydro towers and then let's him run off leash (which I hate).
  • That must be pretty annoying. I've tried to get a few fat people to workout and as soon as they start seeing results they think its ok to pig out again. That sex idea is the best bet.

    Well that's exactly what his Mother did...she exercised, ate well, lost 300lbs and then in 6 months threw it all away and was heavier than ever! It's disgusting!
    I'm really thinking that sex rewards is where it's at!

    Now you mention it I could do with losing a few lbs ha.

    That's so bad about his mother, I honestly don't know how people slip back into the bad habits.
  • shell answer your mail :wink:
  • @smexappeal Just tell him he should add some muscle. If he works out already he should probably hit the weights anyway.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    I'm kind of joking, but not really...

    Get a life insurance policy on him...something really high. Then leave it out on the counter and start frying everything...breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Start leaving brochures around the house for dream homes, cars, etc.

    I'd get my *kitten* in gear with the quickness.
    I agree. Let him know that if he's not that concerned about it, then at the very least ensure that if his demise comes from it, the family is covered. This can be the 2x4 that smacks him in the head to realization.
    But he's only going to do it when he's ready. Don't nag. Don't beg. It doesn't work.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition