Ever Wanted to Give Up on a Goal Because of Someone Else?

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  • RobP1192
    RobP1192 Posts: 310 Member
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    I have a goal that I'm working toward (doing Tough Mudder in 2014). My friend got wind of it and the fact that my husband and brother-in-law (her bf) want to do it too and she just invited herself. That, if and of itself, wouldn't bother me. But she loves attention. If you aren't paying attention to her, she makes sure you do. I think it boils down to the fact that she doesn't want me to get acknowledgment for something that she can't get attention for. This means she will be complaining the whole time during training (so that people know exactly what she's doing) and during the event and afterwards (so people know every little thing she felt). I want to do this to prove to myself how determined and driven I am and how hard I can work. I don't want to do it to get attention. I am dreading it now. I'm about to just drop this goal and find something else. Any advice?

    Nah. Don't drop the goal. Just blow her out of the water. Leave her in the dust while your brother-in-law can hang back waiting for her to climb a rope. Don't let her ruin your experience.
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Don't EVER let someone else affect your own choices when you know exactly what you WANT to do (provided what you want to do isn't something that is really stupid or dangerous).

    If she's going to be training with you, that can present an annoyance, I understand. There are a few options, depending on your temperament and relationship with her. 1. Train with music. 2. Train only or mostly with your husband. 3. Have a sit-down with her and just be honest - not rude, but honest - about how some of her behaviors make you feel. 4. Learn to ignore it, especially if there's the potential for her to be in your life a long time, which it seems like there could be (but this can also be said for option #3).

    You chose this because it would make you feel good, so don't let her need to be in the limelight change your mind. And I'm glad to see that at this point your head is back in the right place. If you feel doubt about it again in the future, just come back to this thread.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    she's doing it to be in the bandwagon. not to do things for herself - don't worry about it, failure is almost sure to be in her future (unless she lies/uses unhealthy methods...which is still failure).
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    I hate to admit it, but yes. It is usually when I get a really negative comment about how I look when I am not prepared for it and gets me down. Then I realize that the best "revenge" is to keep working at it as a huge middle finger to that person and to ensure I don't feel that way again.
  • garrisonwife
    garrisonwife Posts: 129 Member
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    I get what you're saying, and honestly, her whining will actually highlight your toughness! Hubby will notice, even if others don't, and will be thanking his lucky stars that he got the cool tough chick! Some people are like that, and it's kinda fun to throw out things like "I'm so glad everyone's getting tough together" to cut off the whining. You totally got this!

    ^^^Absolutely, THIS!!!!^^^

    Train your *kitten* off. While she's whining about breaking a nail, you'll be showing her how sexy it is to break a sweat! If she posts on Facebook about how "hard" it is, and blah blah blah...then you post on your Facebook that yeah...it may be hard...but you are loving getting stronger with every training session, and you can't wait to kick *kitten* on that course!! Show her by example how a REAL woman toughs things out! A woman who has confidence, and doesn't whine about getting dirty, and doesn't gloat about her accomplishments are incredibly admirable qualities! There's a reason it's called the "Tough Mudder"...and you are going to show her what a "tough mudder fudder" REALLY looks like!!! Kick some muddy tail, girl! You got this, and if she needs to do this for attention, then so be it. But I have a feeling the person who will get the BEST attention will be the woman who shows every other pansy out there how it's DONE!!! Kill it!! Just ignore her girlie insecurities! :-) Good luck on your training and on facing that tough mudder!! ;-)

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