Overweight kids- Who's to blame
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I firmly believe that parents are responsible for their child's eating habits. I grew up in a home with two alcoholics and there was a lot of fighting, yelling and anger. It wasn't a very pleasant place. After a huge blow out my mother would make a huge meal and make us stuff ourselves as a peace offering. That lead me to bingeing habit that took me a long time to get rid of.
When I see really overweight parents whose children are very overweight, it just breaks my heart. Why would you knowingly feed your child foods that cause them to become overweight, knowing the hardship it will bring to their life (being teased) and their health? I just don't get it. If you choose to have a child, take responsibility over what they are eating.0 -
It's the strangers in long jackets offering kids sweets that are to blame. Ask any parent and they'll tell you those guys are on every street corner.
I blame this guy:
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Medical problems aside (eg hypothyroid, etc...) it's the fault of the parents. Kids don't have jobs, and therefore cannot buy food on their own. Kids don't typically cook either.
Therefore, as a parent it's your responsibility to make sure that the food you chose for your child isn't complete garbage, in addition to making sure they have the right portions.
If you teach them to eat properly from a young age, when they get older they should be able to make the right choices when you're not around.
Additionally, I think it might be worth noting that as a parent you also have the power to make your kids engage in less sedentary activities.
EDIT: I forgot mention that if a child meets said good food choices with resistance you'll just have to tell them "if you're hungry you'll eat." Don't give them anything until they consume what you've made them.
Trust me, don't cave - they will eat it eventually.0 -
My mom admitted that it was probably her way of "raising" me that caused me to gain a bunch of weight.
She was the type who could eat anything and "appear" healthy and skinny..
She said she'd just feed me juice and cookies when I was a toddler. Large portions and 2nd/3rd helpings were normal growing up.
The one thing that helped me was that I was a fairly active kid so I was only "pudgy" when I was a teenager. But once I stopped sports and went to collage, I ballooned. (HW=185, CW=128 and contest prepping)
I totally agree that if the child does not have a medical condition. It is the parents fault. It's our job to raise our kids smart and healthy. If we don't know something, we shouldn't keep our kids ignorant. The more I learn about nutrition/exercise/health, the more I think this information should be taught in public schools and should be general knowledge.0 -
I think the parents are to blame...up to a certain age. When my always active children became teens, got jobs, bought cars they had the money, and transportation to hit the drive thru's that I wouldn't frequent. They all gained weight, but thankfully, have since lost it.0
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My 8 year old daughter is overweight and I firmly believe it is my fault. We were having pizza once a week, McDonalds entirely way too much, carb loaded, processed dinners every night. It wasn't because I didn't have time to cook, it was because I was lazy. Just plain lazy. She gained weight while I was pregnant (and eating horribly), but she was headed in that direction long before that and I feel horrible that I didn't do something about it sooner. She is starting to get made fun of, and I remember getting bullied at school and how much I hated it. I can't believe that I let my daughter get to the same place I had been.
The only thing I can do now, is fix my mistake.
I just posted a status update about how my kids are adapting well to the new lifestyle change, and I am excited to see results in my daughter as much as I am myself. When they choose fruit over junk, I am elated.0 -
Barring any medical conditions, it's absolutely the parents/caretaker's fault.0
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I don't get how parents are blaming the schools. Don't you get a lunch menu every month? We do. We'll go over it and if there is something she doesn't like then she packs lunch that day.
Also, you can't blame some schools for getting rid of recess. That's like blaming your desk job for getting fat because they don't allow you to go play for 30 minutes.
If you know they aren't getting activity at school, shouldn't that be replaced at home? 30 minutes at school or 30 minutes at home is the same thing, right?
Snack time isn't to blame either. We pack our own snacks. So if you are packing cookies and soda...how is the teacher to blame?
Everything starts at home. If your child is struggling at school, you work with them at home. Teachers can't be held 100% responsible for your child's education. If your child isn't getting enough healthy food at school, then you do it at home. If your child isn't getting enough play time at school, you fix that at home. I'm sure all of us can find time. If you can sit down and watch an hour sitcom, drama, movie, etc. then you can take your kid for a walk or go play in the park or whatever.
We have an Xbox/Kinect in our home and I'm an achievement *kitten*. I'm currently doing Zumba Rush and there are achievements that take two people. I make it fun for her by saying "try to get 3 stars on the next dance!" or she'll say, "These moves are really hard...can I do my own thing to the music?" and I say sure! Psh! As long as you stay in the view of the kinect, I'll get the achievement for finishing a 65 minute class with two people. lolololol She's 6, so I don't expect her to have that much coordination during the Rumba.
She plays softball and rides her bike. We don't constantly sit in the house playing video games. I grew up with video games and still played outside because my parents set limits.
I think too many people grew up butthurt about rules that when they had their own kids, they decided they wouldn't set guidelines and limits and would give them whatever they wanted!
I know have better guidelines for myself. I don't eat fast food that much (maybe once a month) anymore because instead of driving through the drive thru, I park and ask myself.
1. Am I truly hungry enough to consume 800-1500 calories at the end of the day?
2. How is this meal going to make me feel in a few hours? Will I be hungry again? Will I feel satisfied that I consumed that many calories in such a small meal?
3. Would I allow my daughter to eat this meal all by herself?
4. If I cut out TV time, is it possible to go to the grocery store right now and make something better before bedtime?
99% of the time I go to the grocery store. This was months ago. Now I don't even stop because 1200 calories for a chicken nugget meal is INSANE and I don't want my daughter to think that multiple trips to fast food during the week is okay.
I don't want my daughter to be afraid of food. I want to be able to go to Rita's after softball practice or allow her to use her Pizza Hut coupon for Book It. I want her to know that it's okay to have these things SOMETIMES.0 -
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Of course it is the responsibility of the parents to keep their children healthy. Trying to blame someone/something else is a joke. Parents have to be good role models and teach their children how to eat properly and stay active.0
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Instead of focusing on fixing blame, why not focus on solving the problem?
But, yes, ultimate responsibility for the child lies with the parents.0 -
Barring any medical conditions, it's absolutely the parents/caretaker's fault.
^This 100%^
Around where I live there has been incidents of kids being spoken to by strangers trying to get them into cars...a few of my friends have shut their kids up inside with tv/PC for company...yeah, they're getting fat...
I let my son out to play on his bike, play football etc as he has a mobile and it's been drummed into him not to talk to strangers.0 -
I saw an article on my FB feed today about personal trainers claiming that parents were to blame for their overweight children.
In this article, were parents taking their children to personal trainers to improve body condition and health? Is that how the personal trainers came to give this feedback? Just curious.
I think, yes, if one decides to be a parent and have children, then they are responsible for the health of their children, and are responsible for demonstrating healthful life choices. That responsibility cannot be lain at the feet of anyone else. From the context of what you are saying about this article, it sounds like those parents are trying to shift blame and give over the responsibility for their children's health to another entity...0 -
as a mom , i totally agree, while genetics plays a role, modeling plays a bigger role, my kids are healthy because i eat healthy, i am not because well... lets just say, no matter what your parents tell youI saw an article on my FB feed today about personal trainers claiming that parents were to blame for their overweight children.
It was causing ALOT of debate.
Personally I think that yes, if there is no medical reason for your child being very overweight, then it is the responsibility of the parent to ensure that they aren't eating poorly or being inactive. And if the child still doesn't lose weight it is up to them to seek professional advice about it. If a parent fails to do that then they are to blame for their child's weight.
What does the rest of MFP think?
Ramen and Saltines with butter,
really isnt a meal...0 -
of course its the parents fault. who else could it be? the kids? that is absurd. Kids are kids. We treat them like responsible adults, not because they are responsible adults, but because we want to train them for the future. The kid is not at fault.
oh, and obviously, this statement does not include parents of children with medical problems making it extremely difficult to maintain a healthy weight.
Kids learn to binge because they are not made aware of what binging is when they begin to binge. if a child had a good meal 20 minutes ago and he claims he iois hungry then a parent need to make the chiild aware that they are not hungry, they are craving. and craving occurs for many reasons; most commonly emotional reasons or an unbalanced unhealthy meal. most kids get very little fiber and too many starches, simple carbohydrates, and sugars in their diet that causes cravings: sugar, soda, sweet juices, candy, potato chips, processed white bread of any type, processed rice, processed pasta, pre packaged meals and cereals, etc..
that sutff is no good for anyone and most of the prepackaged food and cheap and easy to get food (default food choice) is created by companies to make you crave it when you are not hungry.
Another thing that parents do is they make eating a form of pleasure. Every meal and everything that goes in the mouth must be the most delectable and mouth watering sensual experience to the palate. this is not a good thing to teach a kid. We know kids need to be taught impulse control for the first several years of their life. Eating needs to be included as part of this impulse control training. Too often parents only teach impulse control in aspects of life that beome a burden to the individuual respective parent and in other aspects of life they are remissed to continue the training.
Eating should be about nutrition first and pleasure, at best, should not be a consideration; at worst, should be a consideration on occassion.0 -
One easy solution to this problem is to call your kid nicknames like Fatty or Porkchop so they'll develop an eating disorder by their teens.0
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partly parents and partly schools/government!
How could it be the school's fault? I agree that most school lunches are abysmal, but parents always have the ultimate choice and decision of what their kids eat.0 -
In the absence of a real medical condition, it is 100% the parents.
I am a father. I take responsibility for my daughters. Period. The only person I share responsibility with for ultimate success or failure of our children, good, or bad, is my wife.
Yes, there are outside influences on our children, but it is our responsibility to give our children the tools with which to resist the bad (advertising for garbage, bullying, school lunches, etc.) and be positively influenced by the good (school, sports, etc.).
Edit: typo (of course)0 -
I blame that damn chocolate factory. Capitalism is to blame. You don't see fat kids in soviet Russia.
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I was an obese child back in the 1970s where there weren't a whole lot of obese kids. I took tap, jazz, ballet and swimming every week.. and practiced my dancing at home. I also ate a poor diet as did most of my skinny peers.. My working mother just fed me what the other kids' working moms were feeding them (processed packaged foods, pizza, etc) but on me it turned into fat.... Also I was always more interested in food than the typical child... If I went to a birthday party and you asked me about it.. I'd tell you all about the food we had rather than the games we played or who was there. If there was food being offered, I was first in line. I was placed on my first diet at age six.
Later in life, I discovered that I have metabolic/endocrine. (hypothyroid for one) Back when I was a child, they didn't use the same tests to diagnose as they do now.. My doctor simply felt my thyroid gland and told my mother it was normal.
So, why was I an obese child? It was a combination.. I was fed a poor diet high in calories and low in nutrition both at home and at school. I was overly interested in food.. if it was being offered, I was eating it AND I had metabolic issues which compounded the problem.. It's like I was living in a perfect storm for childhood obesity.0 -
In the absence of a real medical condition, it is 100% the parents.
I am a father. I take responsibility for my daughters. Period. The only person I share responsibility with for ultimate success or failure of our children, good, or bad, is my wife.
Yes, there are outside influence on our children, but it is our responsibility to give our children the tools with which to resist the bad (advertising for garbage, bullying, etc.) and be positively influenced by the good (school, sports, etc.).
This!!0 -
Remember the good old days when you got in trouble and couldn't go outside and play with your friends?
or you begged your mom to let you stay out just a little bit longer?
or you just came home for 5 mins and your mom said "where you been I haven't seen you all day?
Kid nowadays don't know that feeling - Here's to the old school
I'm getting old0 -
A while back I saw a photo essay on "What the World Eats".
Quite interesting.
For example:
Japan
Italy
Chad
Mexico
China
Germany
and then you have the................. US......
Disregarding medical conditions it's 100% parent's fault. If your kid is fat it's thanks to you. Not the school, not the daycare BUT YOU.0 -
I blame that damn chocolate factory. Capitalism is to blame. You don't see fat kids in soviet Russia.
i blame capitalism too.0 -
I buy the groceries in my house. If the house isn't full of cakes and chips and things, they can't eat it. Problem pretty much solves itself. And TV/video games or not, I've never had a problem getting my son to go out and run through the woods with the neighborhood kids playing games and such. Maybe it's different for some. 0
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partly parents and partly schools/government!
Nope. Theres no partly. Its fully parents. If your school doesn't provide healthy foods and keeps pushing high calories junk foods then talk to them. Many communities are now doing it and for almost the same cost. The fact that NO parent screamed at the schools when they passed out pizza as a serving of veggies shows that parents are the one neglecting.
As a teacher, I would like to know how what I do is responsible for obese children who come to MY classroom? Am I the one feeding them junk food instead of nutritious food? No. Am I the one who allows them to sit on their butts and play video games, watch TV, text, etc, when they should be outdoors playing and getting exercise? NO.
AND, I would also like to add that I teach HEALTH, and right now I am making a very serious effort to teach these children all about healthy eating, nutrition and the importance of exercise. I'm not harming them, I'm helping them.
IT IS ENTIRELY the fault of the parents AND partially the fault of the pediatricians who refuse to tell the parents their child needs to lose weight, for fear of "offending" the parents.0 -
Of course it's the parents' fault.... who else's fault woult it be if there was no medical reason?!0
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A while back I saw a photo essay on "What the World Eats".
Quite interesting.
For example:
Japan
Italy
Chad
Mexico
China
Germany
and then you have the................. US......
Disregarding medical conditions it's 100% parent's fault. If your kid is fat it's thanks to you. Not the school, not the daycare BUT YOU.
But the US folks look so much happier with pizza in their hands!
Oh and I feel all giddy that you used my thread! Thank you!0 -
At the end of the day the parent is a guide to a childs life, they should educate them in food. each case is individual though.0
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My 8 year old daughter is overweight and I firmly believe it is my fault. We were having pizza once a week, McDonalds entirely way too much, carb loaded, processed dinners every night. It wasn't because I didn't have time to cook, it was because I was lazy. Just plain lazy. She gained weight while I was pregnant (and eating horribly), but she was headed in that direction long before that and I feel horrible that I didn't do something about it sooner. She is starting to get made fun of, and I remember getting bullied at school and how much I hated it. I can't believe that I let my daughter get to the same place I had been.
The only thing I can do now, is fix my mistake.
I just posted a status update about how my kids are adapting well to the new lifestyle change, and I am excited to see results in my daughter as much as I am myself. When they choose fruit over junk, I am elated.
You're doing the right thing. It's important for kids to see that parents can make mistakes, too and that we step up and correct them.
Jan0
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