You just do.
TheFinalThird
Posts: 315 Member
About 9 months ago, I started my quest to lose about 260 or so pounds. I started at 478. In 5 months, I peeled off 95 pounds down to 383. Then "life" happened. The "what" is not important. The result is. Over the past 4 months, I have hutz-putzed around, sometimes logging food, sometimes not. Sometimes exercising, sometimes not. Re-establishing old, familiar, detrimental pathways. Allowing a piece of dutch apple crumb pie with warm caramel ganache and homemade vanilla bean ice cream to comfort and soothe my jangled nerves instead of dealing with the problems that caused the anxiety in the first place. The result was a gain of 10 pounds.
I am not writing this for sympathy or support. I am writing this because I know that one of you needs to read what I am about to say. One of you has fought the good fight for hours, days, weeks, months or years, and has lost 1, 2, 5, 10, 25, 50, 100 or more pounds. One of you has slipped in recent days or weeks for reasons known only to you. One of you has either faced, or will face a scale that screams a number at you that you promised yourself you would never see again. You feel like a failure. You feel like you have let your fellow MFPers, your friends, your loved ones, and yourself down. You feel your clothes fitting a little tighter, and are paralyzed by the thought of having to buy new "fat clothes." You know you need to "start again," but you don't know how. This post, my friend, is written for YOU.
Why am *I* writing this post? I do not write as a PhD in nutrition or dietetics. I do not write this post as a psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor or physician. I am none of those things. I write this post solely as a fellow traveler who has sometimes faced, sometimes ignored a lifelong problem with excess fat. I am merely one who walks the same path as you do. Toward the same goal that you seek. With the same thoughts, fears, shames, anxieties and desires for a better life that you experience. I do not know if I will reach that promised land. Or whether you will. But I know that we will walk that path together, trying as best possible to keep one another pointed toward the land of Goal, off on the distant horizon.
So, what's the plan, Stan? I don't know about yours, but mine is simple:
1. Forgive myself for gaining back the pounds that I have. Guilt is like a sack of rocks. You can choose to carry it with you and it will make your task more difficult. Or you can set it down by the side of the road and continue your journey without it. I choose the latter.
2. Eat filling foods with fiber, complex carbohydrates, lean proteins, healthy fats, vitamins and minerals. Wean myself down from 80% processed foods to about 20%. Most of time, weight loss is not about the foods you deprive yourself of. It results from the foods you do eat not providing enough vitamins and nutrition your body needs. That's why your body keeps asking for more food.
3. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. And lots of it. Did I mention drink water?
4. Schedule exercise and treat that block of time like a business appointment. No excuses. Plan it. Execute it.
5. Don't have the same expectations of being able to exercise as long or as fast as I did when I was exercising every day. Just accept that every step I take or climb, is another step away from sedentary and another step toward fit.
6. When I exercise, I will not look miles down the road and say, "I can't do it." I will focus on the next several steps and say, "I can do this." And if I do that enough times, I will have made it miles down the road.
7. When I eat, I will start each meal with water and a filling, low calorie food. I will eat slowly so that my brain has a chance to catch up with my stomach and realize that, "yes, I did get enough to eat."
8. I will not give up desserts or "fattening foods." I will continue to eat them, but in much smaller portions.
9. I will not look at my allotment of calories for the day and panic as it dwindles. I will be a mature adult. When my calories are gone for the day, I will either "man up" and stop eating, or I will exercise more to earn more calories.
10. I will get enough rest each day so that my body does not try to replace energy from rest with energy from food.
11. If I have a "cheat day" or "cheat meal" I will record it, accept the consequences and move on. You know what you eventually call someone who stays on track eating wise 90% of the time? Really good looking!
That's it. No magic. No potions. No easy way. When you're in your car and you have a flat tire, do you get out and flatten the other three? No. You replace it and go on. You just do.
Scott R. in Houston, Tx.
I am not writing this for sympathy or support. I am writing this because I know that one of you needs to read what I am about to say. One of you has fought the good fight for hours, days, weeks, months or years, and has lost 1, 2, 5, 10, 25, 50, 100 or more pounds. One of you has slipped in recent days or weeks for reasons known only to you. One of you has either faced, or will face a scale that screams a number at you that you promised yourself you would never see again. You feel like a failure. You feel like you have let your fellow MFPers, your friends, your loved ones, and yourself down. You feel your clothes fitting a little tighter, and are paralyzed by the thought of having to buy new "fat clothes." You know you need to "start again," but you don't know how. This post, my friend, is written for YOU.
Why am *I* writing this post? I do not write as a PhD in nutrition or dietetics. I do not write this post as a psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor or physician. I am none of those things. I write this post solely as a fellow traveler who has sometimes faced, sometimes ignored a lifelong problem with excess fat. I am merely one who walks the same path as you do. Toward the same goal that you seek. With the same thoughts, fears, shames, anxieties and desires for a better life that you experience. I do not know if I will reach that promised land. Or whether you will. But I know that we will walk that path together, trying as best possible to keep one another pointed toward the land of Goal, off on the distant horizon.
So, what's the plan, Stan? I don't know about yours, but mine is simple:
1. Forgive myself for gaining back the pounds that I have. Guilt is like a sack of rocks. You can choose to carry it with you and it will make your task more difficult. Or you can set it down by the side of the road and continue your journey without it. I choose the latter.
2. Eat filling foods with fiber, complex carbohydrates, lean proteins, healthy fats, vitamins and minerals. Wean myself down from 80% processed foods to about 20%. Most of time, weight loss is not about the foods you deprive yourself of. It results from the foods you do eat not providing enough vitamins and nutrition your body needs. That's why your body keeps asking for more food.
3. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. And lots of it. Did I mention drink water?
4. Schedule exercise and treat that block of time like a business appointment. No excuses. Plan it. Execute it.
5. Don't have the same expectations of being able to exercise as long or as fast as I did when I was exercising every day. Just accept that every step I take or climb, is another step away from sedentary and another step toward fit.
6. When I exercise, I will not look miles down the road and say, "I can't do it." I will focus on the next several steps and say, "I can do this." And if I do that enough times, I will have made it miles down the road.
7. When I eat, I will start each meal with water and a filling, low calorie food. I will eat slowly so that my brain has a chance to catch up with my stomach and realize that, "yes, I did get enough to eat."
8. I will not give up desserts or "fattening foods." I will continue to eat them, but in much smaller portions.
9. I will not look at my allotment of calories for the day and panic as it dwindles. I will be a mature adult. When my calories are gone for the day, I will either "man up" and stop eating, or I will exercise more to earn more calories.
10. I will get enough rest each day so that my body does not try to replace energy from rest with energy from food.
11. If I have a "cheat day" or "cheat meal" I will record it, accept the consequences and move on. You know what you eventually call someone who stays on track eating wise 90% of the time? Really good looking!
That's it. No magic. No potions. No easy way. When you're in your car and you have a flat tire, do you get out and flatten the other three? No. You replace it and go on. You just do.
Scott R. in Houston, Tx.
0
Replies
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I am not writing this for sympathy or support. I am writing this because I know that one of you needs to read what I am about to say. One of you has fought the good fight for hours, days, weeks, months or years, and has lost 1, 2, 5, 10, 25, 50, 100 or more pounds. One of you has slipped in recent days or weeks for reasons known only to you. One of you has either faced, or will face a scale that screams a number at you that you promised yourself you would never see again. You feel like a failure. You feel like you have let your fellow MFPers, your friends, your loved ones, and yourself down. You feel your clothes fitting a little tighter, and are paralyzed by the thought of having to buy new "fat clothes." You know you need to "start again," but you don't know how. This post, my friend, is written for YOU.
I think you're wrong. I don't think this post is for that person. I think it's for all of us. Every day, every meal, every bit of free time that we need to use wisely requires a recommitment. It becomes habitual, but we need the reminder that anybody can slip out of that habit. The occasional indulgence can easily become the new habit. We can easily go on vacation and simply never come back. Every one of us needs a regular reminder to be mindful of the choices we are making right now.0 -
I started MFP the same week you did and lost 50 lbs. Unfortunately I "hutz-putzed" around since January-ish as well and gained some back. Your post expressed exactly how I am feeling.
Starting the first of this week, I have been back on plan and feel so much better physically and emotionally than I have been the last little while and the scale is moving in the right direction because of those good choices.
Good for you for getting back on the wagon. Keep up your great work!0 -
You have such a way with words, Scott!! I always love reading your posts. And this one was written for me, so thank you! I am in agreement with everything you said, and you just gave me the boost I needed to keep plugging along. Still praying for you and your family! Keep your head up, my friend.0
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Thank you sir.0
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I think that everyone should read this post & will be putting it on my wall. Very inspiring! Keep at it, you've definitely got your attitude right! :flowerforyou:0
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You have such a way with words, Scott!! I always love reading your posts. And this one was written for me, so thank you! I am in agreement with everything you said, and you just gave me the boost I needed to keep plugging along. Still praying for you and your family! Keep your head up, my friend.
I echo the sentiment! You write beautifully, your prose flows like a river and I too enjoy reading your posts whenever you share your thoughts with us. Best wishes to you on your journey, reach out if we can help and special prayers as well for you and your family.:flowerforyou:0 -
Inspiring and motivating. Great analogy about the car. We all need a "reality check" sometimes. Our attitude and mindset are instrumental in our success and dictates our actions.
Along those line - I highly recommned The Beck Diet and the Workbook. I've recently started reading it, so I'm no expert, but it is not a "diet" but a way of viewing the concept of dieting and how we look at ourselves. The book is designed to get you in a better, more positive, more effective mindset to have help us lose weight.
I think if I can corral my demons and think more like a "thin" person, that will be they key to better choices and more productive and fruitful behaviors.
All the best on your journey -
~j0 -
Thank-you for sharing Scott
I think you touched a nerve in many of us and I think one of the MOST important things you said was.....forgive yourself. Man that's a tough one eh? 0 -
This is a brilliant post. So happy to be sharing my journey with you.0
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This is brilliantly written. Thank you for putting the words that so many of us have jumbled around in our heads into such an eloquent post.0
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Nicely Put!! This applies to so many of us! I needed to see this reminder today! Thank you!0
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Im feeling pretty similar at the moment. I have regained a lot of which I lost in January but today is a new day. New day new start!0
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Thank you for this. :flowerforyou:
As someone who is having a week from hell, I find myself wanting to grab some cookies, a pizza, some beers or crawl under my desk and hide to get through it.
MFP will get me through it and I will be better for it. Your post touched me. I will succeed.0 -
Perfectly written, thank you!0
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Great post!
No sense punishing or paralyzing yourself with guilt. Much better to pick up the pieces and move forward
One of my favorite quotes that I remind myself of is that no matter how slow, clumsy, or awkward I feel exercising in whatever way, I am lapping everybody still sitting on the couch
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Nicely put!! Especially the parts about allowing yourself to be human. Humans are imperfect beings by nature, and we're going to stumble, but we can schluf off the guilt, dust ourselves off and start again anytime we want.0
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Thank you, for sharing and just giving me a boost so get a move on. I started this journey for a reason and that reason still stands even if i get a flat tire, I still want to get to that place! I will take the motivation where I can!0
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YES!! Awesome post.
Wow I keep seeing some brave mofos on MFP today. People are on fire!0 -
Great post. Great post.0
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Great post. I think everyone who reads it will find part of themselves in it. Keep on keeping on, I will as well.0
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Thank you fine sir!!!!!0
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I needed that, thank you!:flowerforyou:0
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Thank you for sharing. :flowerforyou:0
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Wow, thank you for saying that. I really needed that today!0
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Worth the read, and I will keep it to read over and over. Thank you for making the effort!
Dee
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1. Forgive myself for gaining back the pounds that I have. Guilt is like a sack of rocks. You can choose to carry it with you and it will make your task more difficult. Or you can set it down by the side of the road and continue your journey without it. I choose the latter.
Forgiving ourselves when we stumble is one of the most important lessons we all have to learn. We're used to beating ourselves up and quitting when we overeat. This is what stops us and brings us back to the old habits that made us unhappy to begin with.
I just wrote this to a new MFP friend a few minutes ago and I think it applies:
This is a life long journey that is full of ups and downs, but you will always be happier in the end
If you Fall, it's ok!! Accept It, Learn From It, and Move On
Just Don't Quit
Enjoy Life and the Journey You are Taking
Thanks TFT0 -
Thank you for posting. Very well written.0
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Thank you!0
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Everything in life can be summed up with the sentiments in this post. We all get bored with working so hard for long periods of time. At first you feel like you are on top of the world, seeing the new heights you have been able to reach. Then, after a while you get cocky and overconfident. That is when you stumble. We all stumble as we are all human.
Success is achieved by being able to pick yourself up and keep going even though it is now really, really hard. Maybe your overconfidence and cockiness had you telling yourself that this was easy, that anyone can do this. But when you are tired and hungry and envious of others who can still load up on the double cheeseburgers and chocolate shakes because they never even tried in the first place, you begin to doubt your ability to reach your goals.
Success means learning to become a little masochistic. How do I enjoy the gnawing hunger? How do I enjoy my muscles screaming in pain when I still have another 20 minutes left in my workout? Enjoy it? Please, someone just shoot me now, I'm ****ing done.
You can teach yourself to enjoy these things, believe it or not. It takes something pleasurable to focus on when you hit the wall. I like music. If I'm so hungry I just can't think straight, I put on a favorite tune or twelve to distract myself. If I'm struggling through my workout and just can't seem to find the energy to keep going, I get myself worked up into a fit of anger. This is pretty easy, as there is much injustice in the world. I prefer thinking of the sweatshops in Asia and India and Southern California, but whatever gets you riled is a good place to fuel your workout.
The more angry I am, the harder the workout. It almost makes PMS worth it. :mad: Almost.
If you are going off track, and we all go off track, it is due to weakness between the ears. Just like any other part of our bodies, the mind can be strengthened, too. But it takes work. Practice focusing on pleasurable pain. Occasional hunger can be brisk and renewing. Sore muscles are a sign of accomplishment. Focus on the positive, away from the negative and you will soon reach your goals.0 -
I am thankful you friended me - You are an inspiration in words and actions!0
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