Surely I'm not the ONLY one here...

_Pseudonymous_

...who is annoyed and disappointed in the lack of confidence of people on here.

I mean, You are here. You are trying to make a difference. So obviously you think you are worth saving right?

Maybe I have too much confidence, who knows? All I know is that I find confidence way sexier than a lack there of. Even if there is a six pack involved.

Opinions?

_noob_

Whoops I assumed incorrectly on your gender (small pic on my phone)

_Pseudonymous_

Whoops I assumed incorrectly on your gender

lol. My name is fairly androgynous.

What did you think I was?

TwinkieDong

it doesn't bother me, think of Maslow's needs pyramid. We are all at different levels and different journeys and here for our own reason.

Maybe the lack of confidence is why people decided to make a change. Being worth saving verses having high self esteem are two separate things altogether. Maybe some of these people want higher self esteem and would have more if they lost weight, gained muscle, have friends on here, etc.

Have a beer, a coffee, a chocolate bar, or your favorite..... and wish these people luck.

TwinkieDong

Pserdonymous: I looked at your profile after I replied. I would say you are still young, you have had your own journey and have been succeeding (weight loss). Think back in your heavier days, were you as confident as you are now? Change your frame of mind and be sympathetic towards people. Offer words of encouragement, an ear to listen.....

_Pseudonymous_

Pserdonymous: I looked at your profile after I replied. I would say you are still young, you have had your own journey and have been succeeding (weight loss). Think back in your heavier days, were you as confident as you are now? Change your frame of mind and be sympathetic towards people. Offer words of encouragement, an ear to listen.....

I'm not oblivious to any of what you said. Yes, I've had low self-esteem and I am actually really supportive of my friends and most anyone I meet on here.

The point is the fact that I am frustrated by the FACT that people don't see their worth. Not at the PEOPLE who can't see their worth. I see a number of people who are much more attractive than I am who rate themselves as a "2" or "3". I don't know if they actually do or if it is simply them seeking attention.

I understand the psychology behind it but it doesn't mean that I have to support their low confidence and lack of self-esteem. They are here to improve their lives and I think they need to know that they deserve their confidence and that they shouldn't beat themselves down. I'm not here to coddle them and allow them to wallow in it. Wallowing got me nowhere. Determination and confidence is.

That's the whole point. All of these people deserve the confidence that they lack. They need to know that.

allyjoy83

I understand the lack of confidence a lot of people feel on here regardless of where they are on their goals. Sometimes people place too much emphasis on the superficial part of themselves (how they look), rather than on what really matters. This site, though, is designed to allow people to be honest about their weight and their goals, and because it is the all mighty anonymous internet, I think people feel free to discuss (ad nauseum) their insecurities. I say let them be. This may be the only place they can be honest about how they feel.

BeachIron

Surely I'm not the only one here who is not annoyed and disappointed in the over abundance of women on here with low self esteem?

Jacwhite22

...who is annoyed and disappointed in the lack of confidence of people on here.

I mean, You are here. You are trying to make a difference. So obviously you think you are worth saving right?

Maybe I have too much confidence, who knows? All I know is that I find confidence way sexier than a lack there of. Even if there is a six pack involved.

Opinions?

I'm pretty confident.....Just check out my profile pic. Sometimes I act less confident when I am fishing for compliments though......

5erious

my looks is something I know I am good in. I have looked at a 1,000 mirrors in every angle imagineable. I have measured my face, nose - width ratio ect.... I have studied what makes people attractive.

TwinkieDong

Pserdonymous: I looked at your profile after I replied. I would say you are still young, you have had your own journey and have been succeeding (weight loss). Think back in your heavier days, were you as confident as you are now? Change your frame of mind and be sympathetic towards people. Offer words of encouragement, an ear to listen.....

I'm not oblivious to any of what you said. Yes, I've had low self-esteem and I am actually really supportive of my friends and most anyone I meet on here.

The point is the fact that I am frustrated by the FACT that people don't see their worth. Not at the PEOPLE who can't see their worth. I see a number of people who are much more attractive than I am who rate themselves as a "2" or "3". I don't know if they actually do or if it is simply them seeking attention.

I understand the psychology behind it but it doesn't mean that I have to support their low confidence and lack of self-esteem. They are here to improve their lives and I think they need to know that they deserve their confidence and that they shouldn't beat themselves down. I'm not here to coddle them and allow them to wallow in it. Wallowing got me nowhere. Determination and confidence is.

That's the whole point. All of these people deserve the confidence that they lack. They need to know that.

I can agree with you on the fact that people do not see their worth, or just seeking attention. I also agree with allyjoy that people may be looking at superficial things. makes sense.....

allyjoy83

my looks is something I know I am good in. I have looked at a 1,000 mirrors in every angle imagineable. I have measured my face, nose - width ratio ect.... I have studied what makes people attractive.

So your confidence comes from being pretty/attractive?

kennethmgreen

...who is annoyed and disappointed in the lack of confidence of people on here.

I mean, You are here. You are trying to make a difference. So obviously you think you are worth saving right?

Maybe I have too much confidence, who knows? All I know is that I find confidence way sexier than a lack there of. Even if there is a six pack involved.

Opinions?

I felt shy and insecure when I first joined. I hated being the fat guy and not having any friends, lacking confidence wherever I turned.

Then someone posted on the forum that my insecurity was annoying and the very next day I had friends. Everything just turned around. It was freakin' awesome.

So, hopefully, your post will help out someone else here who is new.

taunto

Personally, I find desperation very sexy in a woman!

Unknown

This content has been removed.

_Pseudonymous_

...who is annoyed and disappointed in the lack of confidence of people on here.

I mean, You are here. You are trying to make a difference. So obviously you think you are worth saving right?

Maybe I have too much confidence, who knows? All I know is that I find confidence way sexier than a lack there of. Even if there is a six pack involved.

Opinions?

I felt shy and insecure when I first joined. I hated being the fat guy and not having any friends, lacking confidence wherever I turned.

Then someone posted on the forum that my insecurity was annoying and the very next day I had friends. Everything just turned around. It was freakin' awesome.

So, hopefully, your post will help out someone else here who is new.

Yay! You get it! I just want people to see that!

It happened with me several times in my life. Guys would be so annoyed by my complete and utter lack of confidence. The fact of the matter is it wasn't my obesity that chased them away. It was my lack of self-esteem that did.

Confidence is a wonderful thing.

_Pseudonymous_

I think you're looking in the wrong threads and don't have the right friends

PFFT! My friends are AWESOME, of course. Because I have great taste.

Bekahmardis

it doesn't bother me, think of Maslow's needs pyramid. We are all at different levels and different journeys and here for our own reason.

I hadn't heard anyone else talk about Maslow's pyramid since my MBA classes in 2006, but it most definitely applies here! Some are just starting out, some are at a plateau, and some like me are stretching toward the finishing line with their goal in sight. Keep looking - you'll find people of all stages out there.

tallulahthunderbird

PFFT! My friends are AWESOME, of course. Because I have great taste.

Here here!

Timshel_

...who is annoyed and disappointed in the lack of confidence of people on here.

Too many outisde influence beat down even the strongest people over time. Some crack earlier and some later, but everyone can get down. What is good, or supposed to be good about this type of environment is that you can find that encouragement and support to help keep you off the edge, so to say. So no matter how down someone might be, or how belittled the world might make them feel, we can help people with the simplest of words and encouragement.

Or something like that.

tiffsting

Sometimes I think it's just people fishing for a compliment (which annoys the crap outta me), but I agree there are many people who completely lack confidence on here. Just because you are carrying some extra weight doesn't mean you aren't beautiful, or attractive. I know I still have weight to lose, but that doesn't mean that I don't think I'm AWESOME already ('cause I am!)! Attitude and confidence has a LOT to do with the "attractive" factor in my opinion. You could be the hottest person out there looks-wise, but if you have a "no confidence - poor me" attitude........ all those looks go right down the ****ter! lol!

JustAboutDelicious_wechanged

Surely I'm not the only one here who is not annoyed and disappointed in the over abundance of women on here with low self esteem?

Nope, you aren't the only one. I makes it easy for me to get the ladies.

DalekBrittany

I can understand that. I saw a lot of really beautiful ladies and men on that rate yourself thread giving themselves low numbers...IDK if it was fishing or honest lack of confidence, but either way. I don't think people should let their weight alone define their outer beauty. I am overweight, and I realize that I am just slightly above average on the looks scale. I have been told differently, but I disagree. Part of it is my weight, but I think at any size I will always see myself the same way. I don't think I have terrible self-esteem, but I do see myself below how others seem to perceive me, and I think this does have to do with my weight. I just assume that I am not as pretty or as confident as I should be because I'm fat. Maybe it will all magically change when I'm thin, but confidence starts on the inside.

My personality kicks *kitten*, though.

MNA76

I can understand that. I saw a lot of really beautiful ladies and men on that rate yourself thread giving themselves low numbers...IDK if it was fishing or honest lack of confidence, but either way. I don't think people should let their weight alone define their outer beauty. I am overweight, and I realize that I am just slightly above average on the looks scale. I have been told differently, but I disagree. Part of it is my weight, but I think at any size I will always see myself the same way.

My personality kicks *kitten*, though.

YES!!! Awesomeness kicks a**!!! Above all else!!

ArchangelMJ

Well, I've been extremely shy and self-conscious since I was a little girl. I'm more open now but I'm still pretty shy in person. Sometimes I pretend I'm confident, but I don't think I really am. I doubt and belittle myself constantly and it's a real mental struggle. I don't think saying that you're annoyed by a lack of confidence will make un-confident people any more confident.

In general though, I believe there are different layers of confidence. Like, someone may not be confidant with their looks and they could be shy, and yet they're very confidant with other aspects of themselves. And then there's over-confident/ arrogant people, who tend to get on my nerves like nothing else. I think meek/unassuming people can be very endearing, and I think that's a commonly regarded sentiment. And as I said, people can have multiple sides and facets. I'm gonna use Michael Jackson as an example because I can, lol. On stage he was fiercely confidant, off stage he was quite shy and reserved. Course, that's also when introversion/extroversion come into play, which is a different conversation.

chasetwins

Being over weight (especially women) = low self confidence...Been there. Some have had years of this which makes it difficult to over come. (bad habits are hard to break)

However...even still being over weight for some reason i find working out 5 days a week has kicked my confidence into high gear. I feel better about myself even if the mirror doesn't show a sexier me yet. How we feel inside shows on the out side.

And yes - confidence is sexy in any size!

Skinny_Issy

I think most people are on this sight in the first place because they are lacking in confidence, so it doesn't surprise me. I'm just the same.

Mustang_Susie

More annoyed and disappointed with the over abundance of arrogance in general on here

True confidence doesn't need to be touted, it's evident

Just be true to yourself OP

Queen_JessieA

Pserdonymous: I looked at your profile after I replied. I would say you are still young, you have had your own journey and have been succeeding (weight loss). Think back in your heavier days, were you as confident as you are now? Change your frame of mind and be sympathetic towards people. Offer words of encouragement, an ear to listen.....

I really like your compassion Thanks for supporting those who have had years of being beat down and understanding that one way doesn't work for everyone!

MelsAuntie

You want to hear from confident people? Okay. I made the decision when my niece was certified as a fitness trainer and volunteered to set me up with MFP and guide me through the program. At this point I was 64 years old, retired, happily married for 42 years, led a lifestyle with steady, moderate exercise around the farm ( a lot in the summer and fall, less in the winter), had no serious health issues, and I weighed more than I liked but was nonetheless a warm, happy, confident person with a group of close friends and a respected reputation in my hobby as a gourd and fiber artist. I was happy with who I was and what I accompllshed in my life but would prefer to lose about 30 lbs. I started the program, ate sensibly under my niece's guidance, logged everything I ate, exercised a lot more outside as the weather improved, did cardio indoors on the elliptical machine, and did a Funcercize beginners workout DVD using 5 lb. dumbbells several times a week, on a more or less random schedule for the DVD part of it as suited my personal convenience. I never went over my calorie goals for the day, was almost always under, never did a "cheat day", kept to the plan with no difficulty due largely to determination and self-control, was down in weight at every weekly weigh-in, and now at 90 days in I have lost 10 lbs. and about 12" off my waist, have more strength, stamina, and energy than before starting, my arms no longer jiggle, my butt is firmer, my legs are stronger, I am pleased with my progress and happy with my appearance, as is my husband. I wanted to take it slow because my skin is 64 years old and too-fast weight loss would leave me looking like a half-melted candle. I never HAD any bitterness, bad self-image, lack of confidence, body image issues, or an ED in the first place. If my neice had not reccommended this program, or If I hadn't lost an ounce, I would still have been a happy, confident person who thought I was a damned good artist and designer and really liked myself. Yes, I have had success, and have been very pleased with the results, and I find this site a great tool. I have not had any bumps in the road, nor have I ever fallen off the wagon. It is true that I don't know my BMR, body fat percentage, or any of the other technical stuff, and don't feel I need to. I intend to lose weight as long as I look good for my age and do not start getting too wrinkled; if I do, I'll stop there and just maintain. Probably I won't try to go smaller than a size 12 as I cannot afford to replace my wardrobe. That sums it up at three months in.

clarkeje1

A lot of people are here BECAUSE they lack self confidence and part of gaining that confidence involves embarking on their fitness journey. Part of the reason why I participate in the forums and add friends on here (besides gaining knowledge and the occassional laugh) is for that support, encouragement, and reassurance. I don't know if I will ever feel confident with myself but... I'm working on it.