Surely I'm not the ONLY one here...

_Pseudonymous_

...who is annoyed and disappointed in the lack of confidence of people on here.

I mean, You are here. You are trying to make a difference. So obviously you think you are worth saving right?

Maybe I have too much confidence, who knows? All I know is that I find confidence way sexier than a lack there of. Even if there is a six pack involved.

Opinions?

_noob_

Whoops I assumed incorrectly on your gender (small pic on my phone)

_Pseudonymous_

Whoops I assumed incorrectly on your gender

lol. My name is fairly androgynous.

What did you think I was?

TwinkieDong

it doesn't bother me, think of Maslow's needs pyramid. We are all at different levels and different journeys and here for our own reason.

Maybe the lack of confidence is why people decided to make a change. Being worth saving verses having high self esteem are two separate things altogether. Maybe some of these people want higher self esteem and would have more if they lost weight, gained muscle, have friends on here, etc.

Have a beer, a coffee, a chocolate bar, or your favorite..... and wish these people luck.

TwinkieDong

Pserdonymous: I looked at your profile after I replied. I would say you are still young, you have had your own journey and have been succeeding (weight loss). Think back in your heavier days, were you as confident as you are now? Change your frame of mind and be sympathetic towards people. Offer words of encouragement, an ear to listen.....

_Pseudonymous_

Pserdonymous: I looked at your profile after I replied. I would say you are still young, you have had your own journey and have been succeeding (weight loss). Think back in your heavier days, were you as confident as you are now? Change your frame of mind and be sympathetic towards people. Offer words of encouragement, an ear to listen.....

I'm not oblivious to any of what you said. Yes, I've had low self-esteem and I am actually really supportive of my friends and most anyone I meet on here.

The point is the fact that I am frustrated by the FACT that people don't see their worth. Not at the PEOPLE who can't see their worth. I see a number of people who are much more attractive than I am who rate themselves as a "2" or "3". I don't know if they actually do or if it is simply them seeking attention.

I understand the psychology behind it but it doesn't mean that I have to support their low confidence and lack of self-esteem. They are here to improve their lives and I think they need to know that they deserve their confidence and that they shouldn't beat themselves down. I'm not here to coddle them and allow them to wallow in it. Wallowing got me nowhere. Determination and confidence is.

That's the whole point. All of these people deserve the confidence that they lack. They need to know that.

allyjoy83

I understand the lack of confidence a lot of people feel on here regardless of where they are on their goals. Sometimes people place too much emphasis on the superficial part of themselves (how they look), rather than on what really matters. This site, though, is designed to allow people to be honest about their weight and their goals, and because it is the all mighty anonymous internet, I think people feel free to discuss (ad nauseum) their insecurities. I say let them be. This may be the only place they can be honest about how they feel.

BeachIron

Surely I'm not the only one here who is not annoyed and disappointed in the over abundance of women on here with low self esteem?

Jacwhite22

...who is annoyed and disappointed in the lack of confidence of people on here.

I mean, You are here. You are trying to make a difference. So obviously you think you are worth saving right?

Maybe I have too much confidence, who knows? All I know is that I find confidence way sexier than a lack there of. Even if there is a six pack involved.

Opinions?

I'm pretty confident.....Just check out my profile pic. Sometimes I act less confident when I am fishing for compliments though......

5erious

my looks is something I know I am good in. I have looked at a 1,000 mirrors in every angle imagineable. I have measured my face, nose - width ratio ect.... I have studied what makes people attractive.

TwinkieDong

Pserdonymous: I looked at your profile after I replied. I would say you are still young, you have had your own journey and have been succeeding (weight loss). Think back in your heavier days, were you as confident as you are now? Change your frame of mind and be sympathetic towards people. Offer words of encouragement, an ear to listen.....

I'm not oblivious to any of what you said. Yes, I've had low self-esteem and I am actually really supportive of my friends and most anyone I meet on here.

The point is the fact that I am frustrated by the FACT that people don't see their worth. Not at the PEOPLE who can't see their worth. I see a number of people who are much more attractive than I am who rate themselves as a "2" or "3". I don't know if they actually do or if it is simply them seeking attention.

I understand the psychology behind it but it doesn't mean that I have to support their low confidence and lack of self-esteem. They are here to improve their lives and I think they need to know that they deserve their confidence and that they shouldn't beat themselves down. I'm not here to coddle them and allow them to wallow in it. Wallowing got me nowhere. Determination and confidence is.

That's the whole point. All of these people deserve the confidence that they lack. They need to know that.

I can agree with you on the fact that people do not see their worth, or just seeking attention. I also agree with allyjoy that people may be looking at superficial things. makes sense.....

allyjoy83

my looks is something I know I am good in. I have looked at a 1,000 mirrors in every angle imagineable. I have measured my face, nose - width ratio ect.... I have studied what makes people attractive.

So your confidence comes from being pretty/attractive?

kennethmgreen

...who is annoyed and disappointed in the lack of confidence of people on here.

I mean, You are here. You are trying to make a difference. So obviously you think you are worth saving right?

Maybe I have too much confidence, who knows? All I know is that I find confidence way sexier than a lack there of. Even if there is a six pack involved.

Opinions?

I felt shy and insecure when I first joined. I hated being the fat guy and not having any friends, lacking confidence wherever I turned.

Then someone posted on the forum that my insecurity was annoying and the very next day I had friends. Everything just turned around. It was freakin' awesome.

So, hopefully, your post will help out someone else here who is new.

taunto

Personally, I find desperation very sexy in a woman!

_Pseudonymous_

...who is annoyed and disappointed in the lack of confidence of people on here.

I mean, You are here. You are trying to make a difference. So obviously you think you are worth saving right?

Maybe I have too much confidence, who knows? All I know is that I find confidence way sexier than a lack there of. Even if there is a six pack involved.

Opinions?

I felt shy and insecure when I first joined. I hated being the fat guy and not having any friends, lacking confidence wherever I turned.

Then someone posted on the forum that my insecurity was annoying and the very next day I had friends. Everything just turned around. It was freakin' awesome.

So, hopefully, your post will help out someone else here who is new.

Yay! You get it! I just want people to see that!

It happened with me several times in my life. Guys would be so annoyed by my complete and utter lack of confidence. The fact of the matter is it wasn't my obesity that chased them away. It was my lack of self-esteem that did.

Confidence is a wonderful thing.

_Pseudonymous_

I think you're looking in the wrong threads and don't have the right friends

PFFT! My friends are AWESOME, of course. Because I have great taste.

Bekahmardis

it doesn't bother me, think of Maslow's needs pyramid. We are all at different levels and different journeys and here for our own reason.

I hadn't heard anyone else talk about Maslow's pyramid since my MBA classes in 2006, but it most definitely applies here! Some are just starting out, some are at a plateau, and some like me are stretching toward the finishing line with their goal in sight. Keep looking - you'll find people of all stages out there.

tallulahthunderbird

PFFT! My friends are AWESOME, of course. Because I have great taste.

Here here!

Timshel_

...who is annoyed and disappointed in the lack of confidence of people on here.

Too many outisde influence beat down even the strongest people over time. Some crack earlier and some later, but everyone can get down. What is good, or supposed to be good about this type of environment is that you can find that encouragement and support to help keep you off the edge, so to say. So no matter how down someone might be, or how belittled the world might make them feel, we can help people with the simplest of words and encouragement.

Or something like that.

tiffsting

Sometimes I think it's just people fishing for a compliment (which annoys the crap outta me), but I agree there are many people who completely lack confidence on here. Just because you are carrying some extra weight doesn't mean you aren't beautiful, or attractive. I know I still have weight to lose, but that doesn't mean that I don't think I'm AWESOME already ('cause I am!)! Attitude and confidence has a LOT to do with the "attractive" factor in my opinion. You could be the hottest person out there looks-wise, but if you have a "no confidence - poor me" attitude........ all those looks go right down the ****ter! lol!