Eating through heartbreak

FeelingLessChubby

Oh yes... heartbreak sucks. In all fairness, he was really gentle about it, and we parted on best terms possible. Still, really hurts! I miss him. Knowing things won't be the same again is a harsh thing to absorb at first. Also the feeling I'm not wanted anymore. We've all been there before.

About a week ago I had myself a big wobble with my diet, but then thanks to the help of peeps here I recalculated all that funky stuff like TDEE and I got a goal of 1400, which I have actually found to be quite reasonable, and I hope to see some results soon.

So I had my heart broken on Thursday, late at night. Friday I went to work completely zombiefied. Hardly ate anything all day, until the evening, and I came under by about 200 calories. Girl's gotta eat to live!

Saturday - yeah... exceeded by 487. It appears that I have become a comfort eater (although hard to judge by just one day!). After I finished my dinner last night I just couldn't stop thinking about that pain au chocolat I had in my cupboard. So I had it.

I know one day isn't a tragedy, but the conclusion I came to - yes it was delish, but didn't provide me with any comfort whatsoever. In fact, I was going to ignore it and not add it to my food diary at all, like it never happened! But it's important to be honest with the eating thing, so I added it this morning.

So eating through heartbreak - it doesn't really work, really... in fact, it provides just another downer.

It is far better, when you grieve over something that's ended, to feel like you still have control over some part of your life. The more you maintain the routine, the more quickly you'll return to it, even though everything is an effort at the moment.

I miss him :'o(

meleani

When we are experiencing heartbreak of any kind, that is the hardest time to stay true to healthy "standards" -- don't beat yourself up over it. Give yourself some time to grieve, because a breakup is a BIG deal, and the pain and heartache is VERY real and doesn't just "blow" away. Half the battle, honey, is being aware of when we fail and taking accountability for our actions with our diet choices, both good and bad. I am so sorry for your loss, but as Scarlet said in Gone With the Wind, "Tomorrow is another day..." and you will rise victorious in time, I am certain! Just don't beat yourself up and take some time to heal. We are all here for you!

Cr01502

Just sleep with someone new.

Always works for me.

Garlicmash

This is such a sad post,
I'm really sorry to hear this has happened to you,I would think there must me quite a few on here going though the same thing right now.
I don't think there much to say here but just give you're self time and keep trying to eat to keep you're self going and hopefully this time next week maybe you may be feeling better.
It's a horrible feeling but you will get through this.

FeelingLessChubby

Just sleep with someone new.

Always works for me.

Not everything that works for one person works for others...

falilvx

I understand your feelings. You know, I was frustrated too. And I am an emotional eater so i bet u would know what i do after that right? :P we have broke up since ten months ago. but, thanks to him I have realized that I should turn out to be a better than yesterday.before this, I did not know anything about health and fitness but after clash I know i need something to make him feel proud of me even though we were separated. he inadvertently made ​​me realize that health and fitness is important so broken-hearted sometimes necessary to change for the better. stay motivated though. it's okay to eat too much some day but not EVERYDAY!! :P

btw,i miss him too

FeelingLessChubby

btw,i miss him too

*hugs* thanks hunny

falilvx

When we are experiencing heartbreak of any kind, that is the hardest time to stay true to healthy "standards" -- don't beat yourself up over it. Give yourself some time to grieve, because a breakup is a BIG deal, and the pain and heartache is VERY real and doesn't just "blow" away. Half the battle, honey, is being aware of when we fail and taking accountability for our actions with our diet choices, both good and bad. I am so sorry for your loss, but as Scarlet said in Gone With the Wind, "Tomorrow is another day..." and you will rise victorious in time, I am certain! Just don't beat yourself up and take some time to heal. We are all here for you!

thanks!!it feels like you are talking to me too!!coz i'm still in heart break too i feel like i want to eat all the food in the refrigerator whenever i think about him but sometimes 'he' does motivated me in my workout,i'll think about him and digging deeper in the workout

falilvx

btw,i miss him too

*hugs* thanks hunny

your welcome let's fight thru this heartbreak..until it hurts no more :')

siqiniq

Just sleep with someone new.

Always works for me.

What a crass and callous remark!

Cr01502

What a crass and callous remark!

Perhaps.

But it's an honest one.

ron2e

Just sleep with someone new.

Always works for me.

What a crass and callous remark!

Couldn't agree more. As my granny used to say "Where there's no sense there's no feeling".

jaxxie

Just sleep with someone new.

Always works for me.

All I did was scroll down to the answer I would have given. 'Nuff said.

FeelingLessChubby

Just sleep with someone new.

Always works for me.

All I did was scroll down to the answer I would have given. 'Nuff said.

Like I said, what works for some won't work for everyone...

Cr01502

Couldn't agree more. As my granny used to say "Where there's no sense there's no feeling".

I'm not sure how telling the OP to go out and get laid and enjoy herself can be construed as crass or callous . . .

OP clearly stated that she didn't agree with my advice and I left it at that. But now you two have chosen to attack my statement as if I said 'Why don't you put your big girl pants on and stop acting like a big baby!'. When in reality all I did was give her advice on how I tend to deal with this heart break. If you don't agree with my statement that's fine but to accuse me of being crass, callous, or not having sense isn't fine.

FeelingLessChubby

Sorry - am I the OP in this scenario? I didn't call you crass or callous. I appreciate your advice, but it won't work for me.

I came here for support, but it appears an argument has started now which has nothing to do with my original topic.

lisamarie1780

Just sleep with someone new.

Always works for me.

oh you really are quite the charmer .....

Cr01502

Sorry - am I the OP in this scenario? I didn't call you crass or callous. I appreciate your advice, but it won't work for me.

I came here for support, but it appears an argument has started now which has nothing to do with my original topic.

You're right. My apologies. I just felt the need to point out that my advice wasn't meant to be insensitive or rude. That being said, I did appreciate your post and I am especially fond of the fact that you did not resort to comfort eating to deal with your heart break.

I hope that eventually you find someone that makes you happy.

FeelingLessChubby

Yes I understand you didn't mean to be insensitive or rude. I'm sure you can imagine though, at the moment, I'm not really keen to sleep with anyone else. And yes, eventually I'm sure I'll feel happy again and will look back at this time more wisely.

lisamarie1780

Yes I understand you didn't mean to be insensitive or rude. I'm sure you can imagine though, at the moment, I'm not really keen to sleep with anyone else. And yes, eventually I'm sure I'll feel happy again and will look back at this time more wisely.

Of course you can't. If you've just split up with someone you were really in love with, the last thing you will be able to think about is being with someone else. I think only sociopaths do stuff like that .... and there are a fair few of them on here

Just concentrate on yourself and getting back to you. You're fine on your own, give it time and patience and concentrate on your goals... you'll heal in time and you'll be better than before xx

DavPul

Just sleep with someone new.

Always works for me.

Not everything that works for one person works for others...

don't knock it till you try it.

Cr01502

Of course you can't. If you've just split up with someone you were really in love with, the last thing you will be able to think about is being with someone else. I think only sociopaths do stuff like that .... and there are a fair few of them on here

Just for the record, this is not the first time I've been called a sociopath by a woman.

DavPul

Just for the record, this is not the first time I've been called a sociopath by a woman this week

fixed

lisamarie1780

Of course you can't. If you've just split up with someone you were really in love with, the last thing you will be able to think about is being with someone else. I think only sociopaths do stuff like that .... and there are a fair few of them on here

Just for the record, this is not the first time I've been called a sociopath by a woman.

Oh I can believe that

monica2410

OP, it was like that for me too when my heart was broken just over the new year. i ate a lot of junk for a couple of weeks. Then the grief really set in and i couldn't eat. I always thought that i comfort ate but I obviously had never felt grief like that before. The up side is I've lost a lot of weight since then and am determined to lose every kg I put on during that relationship. Btw, I am still grieving but the waves of paralysing, all-encompassing grief that hit just about every day have receded to once every 1-2 weeks.

Be kind to yourself during this time. Take the time you need to heal. Recognise your own worth.

And you do not have to be a sociopath to enjoy another man's desire of you. Positive affirmation of your continued desirability can be very helpful on your journey to a new and better you.:flowerforyou:

FeelingLessChubby

Thank you Monica, you are very kind and of course you are right. I'm sure in time the grief will subside. It's just really hard to deal with that knock on self esteem, when one day I felt great, and next day he wants to see other people... so far, after yesterday's hiccup, I have adapted a method where I cry if I want to, wallow if I want to, but then I also do something that I know has always made me feel better. Like housework! I HATE housework, but physical activity like that is really good for clearing the mind, and at the end of it I can admire the results too. Feeling of accomplishment is important to maintain I think, as much as possible.

Can't face going back to work on Tuesday though, I wish I could take a few days off, but perhaps going back to work will also put me back on track.

I most certainly would enjoy another man's desire, but you know how it is - after a breakup, it takes a while to sort of come back to yourself and be your own again, before making room for another person. Just takes time.

ggxx100

Just sleep with someone new.

Always works for me.

Ehh, considering you're short a y chromosome this might not work. Also, you seem like a sweetheart so it really might not work.

I usually went for the rebound. On top of that, I'd have flings on the side with Ben, as well as Jerry. Me and Papa John had a pretty strong thing going on. (Such a loose woman, I know).

Best thing I can tell you is use this and turn it around for your good. One of the biggest triggers for my weight loss was a horrible relationship. I didn't begin to lose weight for him, but rather I took all of my rage and disappointment and used it as fuel for my next workout. After feeling numb, feeling the burn of the weights made me feel alive again. I sound masochistic, but maybe I am.

It will take time, and heartbreak is no fun, we've all been there. There's a time to have a good cry and heal, but sometimes getting out there and keeping busy will kickstart the healing process. Get those trainers on and and punch a few good ones out!(preferably punching bag..human optional).

Cockney365

I'm the same sort of person, emotions = food. At first I either over eat or lose my appetite completely. Rightly or wrongly, exercise is my little obsession when I have been dumped. In my head, I feel like if I wasn't fat or unfit or whatever else then we'd still be together, so that drives me to the gym, to eat properly, to make myself a better me (so someone else will like this new, better me). I know nobody will love you until you love yourself and all that, but that's how my mind works. I'm a work in progress.

I'm currently in a similar situation as you but whereas before, I was a bit cardio and WW points obsessed, this time I am taking a more balanced approach and bringing in a weights programme and cardio, to make myself happy. I would quite like to like myself and I will get there eventually, then everyone else can see how great I am too. That's my plan anyway. You'll get there eventually, just be the best 'you' you can be and everything else will follow. Promise!*

PS I thought the response of 'sleep with someone else was just a joke, didn't everyone else?















*terms and conditions apply.

gym_king_carlie

I sympathise as I myself have just experienced this but with the opposite outcomes, We split in a terrible way and I've gained weight due to been wreckless with my diet and lack of exercise (I snapped my ankle ligaments and have a bicep tear) <as exercise would be my usual way of dealing with it.

but I realise, Life goes on, instead of thinking of those past moments the good and the bad, concentrate on making the future ones great

FeelingLessChubby

Thank you all! I'm going to start "couch to 5K" next week which I hope will help me further. Maybe I'll push it a bit more, and I'm sure once I see results it'll have a positive effect - how can it not have?

Carl - you are very sweet, the thing you wrote about the pillow girlfriend was really touching ) of course life goes on, it may be really slowly now, but it still goes whether we like it or not. Those who say "take it one day at a time" may be repeating a really worn cliché, but it really is true.

RandiLandCHANGED

Just sleep with someone new.

Always works for me.

Next time a girl breaks your heart, let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I can't stand to see you suffer!

Sorry you're having a tough time, OP. I am an emotional eater, and it is difficult.