Eating through heartbreak

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  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Of course you can't. If you've just split up with someone you were really in love with, the last thing you will be able to think about is being with someone else. I think only sociopaths do stuff like that .... and there are a fair few of them on here ;)

    Just for the record, this is not the first time I've been called a sociopath by a woman.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    Just for the record, this is not the first time I've been called a sociopath by a woman this week
    fixed
  • lisamarie1780
    lisamarie1780 Posts: 432 Member
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    Of course you can't. If you've just split up with someone you were really in love with, the last thing you will be able to think about is being with someone else. I think only sociopaths do stuff like that .... and there are a fair few of them on here ;)

    Just for the record, this is not the first time I've been called a sociopath by a woman.

    Oh I can believe that ;)
  • monica2410
    monica2410 Posts: 124 Member
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    OP, it was like that for me too when my heart was broken just over the new year. i ate a lot of junk for a couple of weeks. Then the grief really set in and i couldn't eat. I always thought that i comfort ate but I obviously had never felt grief like that before. The up side is I've lost a lot of weight since then and am determined to lose every kg I put on during that relationship. Btw, I am still grieving but the waves of paralysing, all-encompassing grief that hit just about every day have receded to once every 1-2 weeks.

    Be kind to yourself during this time. Take the time you need to heal. Recognise your own worth.

    And you do not have to be a sociopath to enjoy another man's desire of you. Positive affirmation of your continued desirability can be very helpful on your journey to a new and better you.:flowerforyou:
  • FeelingLessChubby
    FeelingLessChubby Posts: 152 Member
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    Thank you Monica, you are very kind and of course you are right. I'm sure in time the grief will subside. It's just really hard to deal with that knock on self esteem, when one day I felt great, and next day he wants to see other people... so far, after yesterday's hiccup, I have adapted a method where I cry if I want to, wallow if I want to, but then I also do something that I know has always made me feel better. Like housework! I HATE housework, but physical activity like that is really good for clearing the mind, and at the end of it I can admire the results too. Feeling of accomplishment is important to maintain I think, as much as possible.

    Can't face going back to work on Tuesday though, I wish I could take a few days off, but perhaps going back to work will also put me back on track.

    I most certainly would enjoy another man's desire, but you know how it is - after a breakup, it takes a while to sort of come back to yourself and be your own again, before making room for another person. Just takes time.
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
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    Just sleep with someone new.

    Always works for me.

    Ehh, considering you're short a y chromosome this might not work. Also, you seem like a sweetheart so it really might not work.

    I usually went for the rebound. On top of that, I'd have flings on the side with Ben, as well as Jerry. Me and Papa John had a pretty strong thing going on. (Such a loose woman, I know).

    Best thing I can tell you is use this and turn it around for your good. One of the biggest triggers for my weight loss was a horrible relationship. I didn't begin to lose weight for him, but rather I took all of my rage and disappointment and used it as fuel for my next workout. After feeling numb, feeling the burn of the weights made me feel alive again. I sound masochistic, but maybe I am.

    It will take time, and heartbreak is no fun, we've all been there. There's a time to have a good cry and heal, but sometimes getting out there and keeping busy will kickstart the healing process. Get those trainers on and and punch a few good ones out!(preferably punching bag..human optional).
  • Cockney365
    Cockney365 Posts: 52 Member
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    I'm the same sort of person, emotions = food. At first I either over eat or lose my appetite completely. Rightly or wrongly, exercise is my little obsession when I have been dumped. In my head, I feel like if I wasn't fat or unfit or whatever else then we'd still be together, so that drives me to the gym, to eat properly, to make myself a better me (so someone else will like this new, better me). I know nobody will love you until you love yourself and all that, but that's how my mind works. I'm a work in progress.

    I'm currently in a similar situation as you but whereas before, I was a bit cardio and WW points obsessed, this time I am taking a more balanced approach and bringing in a weights programme and cardio, to make myself happy. I would quite like to like myself and I will get there eventually, then everyone else can see how great I am too. That's my plan anyway. You'll get there eventually, just be the best 'you' you can be and everything else will follow. Promise!*

    PS I thought the response of 'sleep with someone else was just a joke, didn't everyone else?















    *terms and conditions apply.
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
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    I sympathise as I myself have just experienced this but with the opposite outcomes, We split in a terrible way and I've gained weight due to been wreckless with my diet and lack of exercise (I snapped my ankle ligaments and have a bicep tear) <as exercise would be my usual way of dealing with it.

    but I realise, Life goes on, instead of thinking of those past moments the good and the bad, concentrate on making the future ones great :)
  • FeelingLessChubby
    FeelingLessChubby Posts: 152 Member
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    Thank you all! I'm going to start "couch to 5K" next week which I hope will help me further. Maybe I'll push it a bit more, and I'm sure once I see results it'll have a positive effect - how can it not have?

    Carl - you are very sweet, the thing you wrote about the pillow girlfriend was really touching :o) of course life goes on, it may be really slowly now, but it still goes whether we like it or not. Those who say "take it one day at a time" may be repeating a really worn cliché, but it really is true.
  • RandiLandCHANGED
    RandiLandCHANGED Posts: 630 Member
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    Just sleep with someone new.

    Always works for me.

    Next time a girl breaks your heart, let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I can't stand to see you suffer!

    Sorry you're having a tough time, OP. I am an emotional eater, and it is difficult.
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
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    Just sleep with someone new.

    Always works for me.

    Next time a girl breaks your heart, let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I can't stand to see you suffer!

    Sorry you're having a tough time, OP. I am an emotional eater, and it is difficult.

    MFP should have a personals section for this very reason :laugh:

    Maybe this will be the new calorie counting match.com..ya never know.
  • RandiLandCHANGED
    RandiLandCHANGED Posts: 630 Member
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    Just sleep with someone new.

    Always works for me.

    Next time a girl breaks your heart, let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I can't stand to see you suffer!

    Sorry you're having a tough time, OP. I am an emotional eater, and it is difficult.

    MFP should have a personals section for this very reason :laugh:

    Maybe this will be the new calorie counting match.com..ya never know.

    Great idea! Although I still believe that making a less than classy pass at someone in a random thread is the surest way to find true love :wink:
  • DancingDreams1234
    DancingDreams1234 Posts: 165
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    You my friend have the sympathy of a tablespoon.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    Ugh I know how you feel. When I'm hurt I get numb and cannot eat. Then days later I want all the food. It's not easy, rejection hurts. It will get better:flowerforyou:
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    MFP should have a personals section for this very reason :laugh:

    Maybe this will be the new calorie counting match.com..ya never know.

    It kind of already does . . It also kind of already is.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/299-single-peeps-

    Oh and RandiLand PM me.
  • saghorse
    saghorse Posts: 2
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    You have my mypathies - like you my partner and I came to an end on Thursday - not mutual I hasten to add and I'm still in shock. It's hard to concentrate on anything and to stay motivated but I absolutely agree with your tip that it's important to feel like you are in control of at least one part of your life - hence I am sticking to the diet fanatically.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    A lot of us got where we were by using food to deal with emotions. Eventually, some people realize that it only really makes things worse in the long run.
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
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    :hug:

    When I am really depressed/broken I don't eat or I eat lots of cake. But something I did in college (which all my friends yelled at me for) was go running....in the middle of the night. I would run and run all through campus and something about it felt very freeing and uplifting. Sometimes I sat under a tree and cried, but then I would get up and run some more. I thought "If I put enough distance between me and my sadness, things will be better." And in a way, running helped me move on.

    However, at least here in PA, the weather is gorgeous. Even if you don't like to run, go for a walk in a park. Being in nature is a medicine all on its own.

    Hang in there, and if you feel like you want to eat your way through this heartbreak anyway, get a lot of berries and keep them in the fridge :heart:
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
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    It kind of already does . . It also kind of already is.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/299-single-peeps-

    Who would've thought.

    I met my boyfriend the traditional way: the seafood section at Whole foods...:wink:

    Also I forgot to mention OP, have you considered taking up a new sport? It seems counterintuitive to just distract yourself, not to mention a little cliche, but it definitely works. Having a new passion (that's not towards a person) will center all of that emotion away from the fridge.
  • Cockney365
    Cockney365 Posts: 52 Member
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    :hug:

    When I am really depressed/broken I don't eat or I eat lots of cake. But something I did in college (which all my friends yelled at me for) was go running....in the middle of the night. I would run and run all through campus and something about it felt very freeing and uplifting. Sometimes I sat under a tree and cried, but then I would get up and run some more. I thought "If I put enough distance between me and my sadness, things will be better." And in a way, running helped me move on.

    Ha ha no way! I did this! Well, it was walking rather than running but yeah, I'd just get up and go for a walk round the park, 3 miles, whatever time of night I couldn't sleep, I'd just go. I just had to get out of the house, had to get away. For those first few days burned off a lot of anger/sadness/depression/humiliation/frustration/energy just walking round the park (along the roads, it is well lit). Had time to clear my mind, use my energy to get me round the park without being kidnapped or eaten by squirrels, and meant I was tired by the time I got back and could get a few hours sleep. Probably not my most sensible idea but I think it helped. Helped me anyway, and after that I joined WW, hit the gym and lost 2st. Since put it back on but that's because I left WW and the gym.

    I know it's not the right way to think about it but, I throw myself into exercise in the hope some other dude will like a fit, happy me, and use that as my motivation to get over the one before. I'd like to point out, yes I want to lose weight for me blah blah but I also want to be attractive to men, although it's not my priority. If they like a fit me, great. If they don't, I'm still going to be fit so I win either way and it's a great way to keep yourself distracted. Good luck with moving on :)

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