You'd be so pretty....if you lost weight.

Nicole65
Nicole65 Posts: 41 Member
in Motivation and Support
Anyone else ever have experience with a line like that? This is something my dad has said to me numerous times over the years, I know he means it as a pseudo compliment/motivation, but that's not how it made me feel at the time.
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Replies

  • Dewdropps
    Dewdropps Posts: 111
    For me, it's people seeing pictures from 10+ years ago saying "wow! you looked great!". Granted, they know that's my goal to get back to and they are trying to motivate me further, but I feel so....ick in comparison every time.
  • Cocacoladdict
    Cocacoladdict Posts: 80 Member
    Yeah I have heard this for yeeears.. My dad is especially good at this line. Just shrug it off and point out that you are awesome whatever your weight - who wants to be pretty anyway :D
  • Pamella513
    Pamella513 Posts: 72
    You have such a pretty face.....too bad you're overweight and nobody will ever want to marry you.

    Celebrating 19 years of marriage this year to an awesome man who loves me no matter how overweight I may be and who has never ever ever, not once, made a mean remark about my weight. My father can go to........
  • pmteet
    pmteet Posts: 69
    And some people would be so polite if they would just not open their mouths.

    I have not had that comment but some extremely rude comments.
  • ireallylikemuffins
    ireallylikemuffins Posts: 72 Member
    Ouch. Yeah. Or the old "Your size doesn't matter to me" from a few people who constantly remark about other people being overweight. Backhanded compliments are worse than straight-up insults, in my book.

    Thankfully, a majority of my family have only mentioned my health to me when my weight comes up. It's just as annoying, but not as...disturbing,
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
    Landlord said I'd be a stud if I lost weight...
    I'm afraid when I lose the weight she'll come onto me... we'll cross that road when it comes but I'm hoping it never does but... free rent does sound kinda nice...*shudders*..lol
  • caitlyn012284
    caitlyn012284 Posts: 23 Member
    Yeah, I have heard that alot too...it's so obnoxious and makes me irritated to the point where it does the complete opposite than motivate me. Thankfully, I am learning to love myself for who I am NOW and I believe that's why I am able to start my weight loss journey the right way, and for me and only me.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Some people will think you'd be pretty if you lost weight and some people think you're pretty overweight. Everyone has different tastes when it comes to what they find attractive.

    All that matters is that YOU feel pretty.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    I have heard the "You have such a beautiful face, you would be gorgeous if you lost weight" several times.
  • IamUndrCnstruction
    IamUndrCnstruction Posts: 691 Member
    It has been my Gramma's favorite line for many years. Yes, I know I would feel better if I lost weight, which is why i am here, and making the lifestyle changes I am making. I just don't get how they think that saying those things will motivate me though. I once replied to some one who told me that I was to heavy to be considered attractive with "Perhaps, but your an a**hole, I can lose the weight, but guess what, you'll still be an a**hole." Shrug it off...what matters is how you feel and knowing that you are trying to make the right choices.
  • lovemitch125
    lovemitch125 Posts: 257 Member
    A lot of guys liked me overweight because of my boobs and butt, but I like myself better normal weight. So... thats all that matters :bigsmile: I am now getting comments about how they miss me being chubbier. I DON'T.

    But I have heard that line from my family, a hundred times. Now I dont :wink:
  • CCusedtodance
    CCusedtodance Posts: 237 Member
    Yes, I have heard that line many times throughout my life. It came at me from family, friends and even strangers. I have learned to ignore them all.
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
    Its generally well meaning family too..... Ugh... Thanks sort of I know the feeling...
  • HeidiCooksSupper
    HeidiCooksSupper Posts: 3,831 Member
    Yup, I'm 62 and my mom STILL says it. Let it roll off your back.
  • TiaFerrera
    TiaFerrera Posts: 93
    Beauty comes from confidence - and in my case some well laid foundation (I'm not talking architecture here people)
    When people say that, at least when I've heard it, it usually is preceded with a command to "smile", and usually from old men who say "im just being friendly" when I tell them to get away. Not that I'm not friendly, I've just had enough dirty old men tell me they are "just being friendly" knowing well that their "level of friendliness" is only limited by my willingness to participate. Gross.

    I think when they say "you'd be pretty if..." It's more a statement about our demeanor, looking mopey and unhappy, not about our size so much. I never hear crap like that when I'm feeling good and walking tall, just when I don't give a d*mn
  • briabner
    briabner Posts: 427 Member
    I have a friend that on many occasions comments on my clothes and sense of style and almost every time she adds "your clothes/outfit would look so much better if you lost weight. I mean you always have such cute clothes but you are fat" Needless to say she is larger than I am so I dont let is bother me too much. Also, people do not realize how hurtful words can be especially if they are coming from a close family member. The next time he says something like that tell him the exact number of pounds you have lost to date and it will show him you are making an active effort to achieve weight loss. You may also want to tell him how much that hurts your feelings.
  • Scott2ndGradeTeacher
    Scott2ndGradeTeacher Posts: 147 Member
    I don't mean to step over any lines, but I prefer larger framed ladies to rail thin ones.
  • SadKitty27
    SadKitty27 Posts: 416 Member
    I get the " You were so pretty when you were thin. " line every now and again now, but when I was younger before losing that weight to get thin I got the "You'd be so pretty if you lost weight" insult all the time.
  • MyProgressISYour1Proof
    MyProgressISYour1Proof Posts: 376 Member
    Anyone else ever have experience with a line like that? This is something my dad has said to me numerous times over the years, I know he means it as a pseudo compliment/motivation, but that's not how it made me feel at the time.

    My grandfather always said that about my sis and I...
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    I think many of us have heard some version of it. I've often thought to myself that I want to go from being "the girl with the pretty face" to "the petty girl."
  • NikiChicken
    NikiChicken Posts: 576 Member
    I heard that from my mom on a regular basis growing up. Thanks Mom! :-/
  • bethanyan2013
    bethanyan2013 Posts: 25 Member
    And my response would be... and you may very well be a semi tolerable human being if you weren't shallow, insensitive and walking around with your head up your *kitten*!!!
  • mzteebell
    mzteebell Posts: 44 Member
    Or you're pretty to be a big girl. WTH?
  • EjaneK11
    EjaneK11 Posts: 209 Member
    My mom would tell me that I was getting fat and need to start watching me weight. I felt that she shouldn't of been saying anything since she was overweight herself. Don't know if she meant harm by it or just trying to help. But it made me feel bad about the way I looked.
  • graceylou222
    graceylou222 Posts: 198 Member
    because that is not how you motivate someone. that only puts them down. wow. i'd probably say something back like "you'd be a lot nicer if you just wouldn't talk." sorry
  • kk11mk12
    kk11mk12 Posts: 1 Member
    Just tell him that it wouldn't have been fair for God to make you, funny, smart, witty, and skinny.
  • tzig00
    tzig00 Posts: 875 Member
    Oh! How about the "I'd be able to love you if you lost weight and grew your hair out" and/or "the only way I'd marry you is if you look dang good in a bikini" (needless to say, we're not together anymore).
  • RandiLandCHANGED
    RandiLandCHANGED Posts: 630 Member
    The worst one I get is "You look great...for having 3 kids."

    I want to look great. Period. Not "For a mom" or anything like that. I find it insulting.
  • sarcosis1
    sarcosis1 Posts: 42
    I've had this said to me and the person who said it hasn't said I look pretty now I've lost weight either.
  • gr8pillock
    gr8pillock Posts: 374 Member
    I understand taking the negative from that comment, but truth be told, it IS a compliment... though I think it is more important to look at yourself and decide if YOU think you are beautiful as you are, because that it far more important.

    I see photos of myself when I was bigger and I don't want anyone to see them, but strangely, WHEN I took them, I thought I looked beautiful. And many people in my life tell me I was beautiful as a big girl. Still, with every change you make, with every moment of pride, you will see it more, and you'll feel beautiful in the new pictures like you never knew possible. Are you more beautiful at a lower weight? Probably not, you're just slimmer... but in your mind, will THAT make you feel beautiful, then I say get it done.

    Making massive internal changes about beauty, at any size, was harder for me than just losing weight and having the catharsis thereafter. Sad, but true... and still in process.

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