self defeating negativity

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BeachIron
BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
in Motivation and Support
When someone is watching you when exercising, do you think that they are thinking how fat or out of shape you are? You don't know what they are thinking, they may be lost in thought or thinking "wow" that person is working hard.

When others are laughing in the gym, do you think they're laughing at you? The world doesn't revolve around you. Other people have their own lives and their own thoughts.

When someone comments on your groceries, do you think that they are mocking you? The person may simply be trying to engage in casual conversation and touched a nerve in you that they didn't realize existed.

When someone offers you a cookie, do you think that they are trying to sabotage you? Sharing food is a great way of saying "I like/love you." Smile and say "no thank you" if you don't want it.

When someone disagrees with you, do you think that they are bullying you? Sure bullies exist, but none of us is right all the time, and many people disagree on an infinite number of issues.

Keep your inner dialogue positive. Focus on your goals. Realize different people have different goals and different ideas on how to reach them. Don't let your perceptions of other people's negativity destroy the positive changes that you are trying to make in your own life.

Happy Monday!
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Replies

  • HannahJDiaz25
    HannahJDiaz25 Posts: 329 Member
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    Well said, Sir *lifts coffee to cheers you*
    Happy Monday :tongue:
  • _kannnd
    _kannnd Posts: 247 Member
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    Very well said...
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    :drinker:
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
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    Awesome thread!!!!

    Love you Beach:)

    This is hard for some people to do this because the thoughts are so practised they are automatic, but there are strategies that can be used to reshape distorted thinking. At the end of the day it's about identifying and stopping the negative internal dialogue and practicing positive thoughts that are incompatible with the usual ones.

    It really does make life far more enjoyable.
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
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    Managing that inner dialogue is definitely the key to success. People often worry a lot about bad influences around them, but the most powerful voice you hear is your own. Choose wisely!
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
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    *Offers OP a cookie*
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    Even if it were true that people were looking at me in disgust or laughing at me, I genuinely wouldn't care.
  • xstarxdustx
    xstarxdustx Posts: 591 Member
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    When someone is watching you when exercising, do you think that they are thinking how fat or out of shape you are? You don't know what they are thinking, they may be lost in thought or thinking "wow" that person is working hard.

    When others are laughing in the gym, do you think they're laughing at you? The world doesn't revolve around you. Other people have their own lives and their own thoughts.

    When someone comments on your groceries, do you think that they are mocking you? The person may simply be trying to engage in casual conversation and touched a nerve in you that they didn't realize existed.

    When someone offers you a cookie, do you think that they are trying to sabotage you? Sharing food is a great way of saying "I like/love you." Smile and say "no thank you" if you don't want it.

    When someone disagrees with you, do you think that they are bullying you? Sure bullies exist, but none of us is right all the time, and many people disagree on an infinite number of issues.

    Keep your inner dialogue positive. Focus on your goals. Realize different people have different goals and different ideas on how to reach them. Don't let your perceptions of other people's negativity destroy the positive changes that you are trying to make in your own life.

    Happy Monday!

    Thank you for this. Have a beautiful day yourself. :)
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    :flowerforyou:
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
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    :flowerforyou:
  • jjeddy
    jjeddy Posts: 26 Member
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    :flowerforyou: :drinker:
  • nicolecassandra
    nicolecassandra Posts: 109
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    When someone is watching you when exercising, do you think that they are thinking how fat or out of shape you are? You don't know what they are thinking, they may be lost in thought or thinking "wow" that person is working hard.

    When others are laughing in the gym, do you think they're laughing at you? The world doesn't revolve around you. Other people have their own lives and their own thoughts.

    When someone comments on your groceries, do you think that they are mocking you? The person may simply be trying to engage in casual conversation and touched a nerve in you that they didn't realize existed.

    When someone offers you a cookie, do you think that they are trying to sabotage you? Sharing food is a great way of saying "I like/love you." Smile and say "no thank you" if you don't want it.

    When someone disagrees with you, do you think that they are bullying you? Sure bullies exist, but none of us is right all the time, and many people disagree on an infinite number of issues.

    Keep your inner dialogue positive. Focus on your goals. Realize different people have different goals and different ideas on how to reach them. Don't let your perceptions of other people's negativity destroy the positive changes that you are trying to make in your own life.

    Happy Monday!


    thanks for this. Helps a lot, especially now.
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Perfect.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Also - avoid the "gym etiquette" MFP threads at all costs...
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    it's amazing....how the inner dialogue can affect things so completely.

    I was having this inner dialogue at the gym last week, while watching another woman work out in close to the same circuit I was doing. I mentioned to my boyfriend how in shape she was and how I couldn't wait to get there.

    he stopped, he looked at me...and he said "You realize you are lifting close to 30 pounds MORE than she is and you are about 2-3 sizes SMALLER than her...right?"

    I had to re-evaluate everything my inner voice tells me. It was humbling to realize how much I was listening to it...and how much it was causing me to perceive things differently than they were.

    great post Beach.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I do these things quite often, though I am slowly getting better.

    Great post!
  • LuckyMunky
    LuckyMunky Posts: 200 Member
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    This is something I've had to learn how to do. My husband was always complaining about how negative I was, about everything! After developing depression a second time (after the birth of my second child) I realized that something needs to change, and that something starts inside of me. I did a complete 180 and changed my view of the world. Instead of thinking negatively all the time and getting upset about what my body can't do (I have a disability) I decided to focus on what it CAN do. This switch has allowed me to start working out despite my chronic pain. It has allowed me to push through that, to work my body in ways it hasn't moved in over a decade, and to become healthier and happier. My depression is slowly going away, my anxiety is better, and I've lost many inches and pounds.

    Positive thinking is the KEY!!
  • sleepingtodream
    sleepingtodream Posts: 304 Member
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    Thank you for the reminder:)
  • mzenzer
    mzenzer Posts: 503 Member
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    As others have pointed out, very well said.

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