self defeating negativity

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Replies

  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
    Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.

    Not everyone is open to change. I can't change that. Carry on.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    :)
  • wibutterflymagic
    wibutterflymagic Posts: 788 Member
    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
    Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.

    Not everyone is open to change. I can't change that. Carry on.

    ^ True. If someone is truly open to changing and wants to hear different ideas it's not "preaching to the choir", it's the idea that may just turn their thinking around. And some people just enjoy $#@!ing all over any idea even if it will help them or others because they are afraid of change and seem to enjoy being negative and unhappy. Carry on.
  • tabik30
    tabik30 Posts: 443
    "you wouldnt worry so much about what others think of you if you knew how seldom they did"~ my favorite Dr Phil quote
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
    It's all about the internal dialogue/motivation. this is 90% mental, 10% physical.
    When i'm doing well, it's because I was doing great mentally.
    When I'm not, again it says volumes of where I am, or was mentally at that time.
  • violettatx
    violettatx Posts: 230 Member
    Well said.

    Now where is my cookie?
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
    It's all about the internal dialogue/motivation. this is 90% mental, 10% physical.
    When i'm doing well, it's because I was doing great mentally.
    When I'm not, again it says volumes of where I am, or was mentally at that time.

    THIS IS SO ME. Great way to put it, Thanks :)
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
    Nice one!!

    to add to what you said, negative talk like this results in you putting CONTROL OF YOUR FUTURE in the hands of events / people / cicumstances etc.

    Change it!

    we all need to give ourselves a well deserved pat on the back sometimes. :smile:
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,903 Member
    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
    Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.

    Not everyone is open to change. I can't change that. Carry on.

    ^ True. If someone is truly open to changing and wants to hear different ideas it's not "preaching to the choir", it's the idea that may just turn their thinking around. And some people just enjoy $#@!ing all over any idea even if it will help them or others because they are afraid of change and seem to enjoy being negative and unhappy. Carry on.

    *shrug* We are all free to own interpretations. I'm just saying that if someone is in a mental state where they're beating themselves up--or other people for that matter--then telling them to cheer up (which is essentially what I got out of the initial post) is perhaps a little misguided.

    It doesn't mean that the post necessarily serves no purpose. I imagine it could be quite motivational to someone who's open to change, as you say. I would humbly suggest that quite a few people who have such a negative internal dialogue would probably like to be open to change, but have trouble flipping that "let's just not be negative" switch.

    The stuart smalley treatment only goes so far.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.
    Hopefully, even just allowing for the idea that someone's behavior can be tied to self-defeating dialogue might breed compassion.

    Not everyone is open to change. I can't change that. Carry on.

    ^ True. If someone is truly open to changing and wants to hear different ideas it's not "preaching to the choir", it's the idea that may just turn their thinking around. And some people just enjoy $#@!ing all over any idea even if it will help them or others because they are afraid of change and seem to enjoy being negative and unhappy. Carry on.

    *shrug* We are all free to own interpretations. I'm just saying that if someone is in a mental state where they're beating themselves up--or other people for that matter--then telling them to cheer up (which is essentially what I got out of the initial post) is perhaps a little misguided.

    It doesn't mean that the post necessarily serves no purpose. I imagine it could be quite motivational to someone who's open to change, as you say. I would humbly suggest that quite a few people who have such a negative internal dialogue would probably like to be open to change, but have trouble flipping that "let's just not be negative" switch.

    The stuart smalley treatment only goes so far.

    buck up, Buttercup
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,903 Member


    buck up, Buttercup

    If you want to call me Buttercup, I think I deserve to see a lot more than your pecs.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    Word!!!!

    I don't jump to these negative conclusions... but I do sometimes get uncomfortable if I'm being watched in the gym.. probably cuz I wear tiny little booty shorts and I think "oooooh, maybe something is showing that shouldn't!" LOL
  • darrenkhalaf
    darrenkhalaf Posts: 10 Member
    some motivation thought by me

    Believe you can and you’re halfway there.

    Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    it's amazing....how the inner dialogue can affect things so completely.

    I was having this inner dialogue at the gym last week, while watching another woman work out in close to the same circuit I was doing. I mentioned to my boyfriend how in shape she was and how I couldn't wait to get there.

    he stopped, he looked at me...and he said "You realize you are lifting close to 30 pounds MORE than she is and you are about 2-3 sizes SMALLER than her...right?"

    I had to re-evaluate everything my inner voice tells me. It was humbling to realize how much I was listening to it...and how much it was causing me to perceive things differently than they were.

    great post Beach.

    I love your boyfriend!
  • Netwalks
    Netwalks Posts: 36 Member
    Thank you x
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    When someone is watching you when exercising, do you think that they are thinking how fat or out of shape you are? You don't know what they are thinking, they may be lost in thought or thinking "wow" that person is working hard.

    When others are laughing in the gym, do you think they're laughing at you? The world doesn't revolve around you. Other people have their own lives and their own thoughts.

    When someone comments on your groceries, do you think that they are mocking you? The person may simply be trying to engage in casual conversation and touched a nerve in you that they didn't realize existed.

    When someone offers you a cookie, do you think that they are trying to sabotage you? Sharing food is a great way of saying "I like/love you." Smile and say "no thank you" if you don't want it.

    When someone disagrees with you, do you think that they are bullying you? Sure bullies exist, but none of us is right all the time, and many people disagree on an infinite number of issues.

    Keep your inner dialogue positive. Focus on your goals. Realize different people have different goals and different ideas on how to reach them. Don't let your perceptions of other people's negativity destroy the positive changes that you are trying to make in your own life.

    Happy Monday!

    I'm a huge proponent of this. Well said, sir.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    The irony is that someone who has a problem with a self-defeating negative inner dialogue probably isn't going to be much affected (in any good way) by someone telling them to be positive. Such is the nature of these things.

    It sort of ends up being a 'preaching to the choir' exercise, which I assume must burn some amount of calories. So, carry on.

    When I first heard something like this, I was about 20 and really needed to hear this. If he has reached even one person, then this thread hasn't been a waste of space.

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