Disrespected at work.

MSeel1984
MSeel1984 Posts: 2,297 Member
in Chit-Chat
So...this individual has done this before-multiple times. I've sat down with her and tried to talk with her reasonably and calmly about it, but it persists.

She is a higher up/manager at work...but not MY manager. She has lost her temper and literally screamed at me in front of other employees. This morning it happened at our morning meeting in front of all of the other managers at work.

I've just about had it. I've been nice-spoken with her in private and now I've had it...

How would you all handle a person like this? I'm meeting with her again tomorrow but am not encouraged about the results of speaking with her in private.
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Replies

  • scribega
    scribega Posts: 159 Member
    Take your phone in and record the meeting without her knowing. If she doesn't it again take the recording to your manager.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    That's something your manager should be taking care of, and if that doesn't work, go to HER manager.
  • suv_hater
    suv_hater Posts: 374 Member
    Tell her it must stop or else tomorrow will be Bring Your Knife To Work Day
  • weevil66
    weevil66 Posts: 600 Member
    Talk to your manager and then go to HR if need be. Or have your manager at the meeting with her tomorrow.
  • NoxDineen
    NoxDineen Posts: 497 Member
    Do you have an HR department at work? If so maybe ask a representative from HR to be at the meeting. They should be trained in conflict resolution, and will help keep tempers from running too high. Plus, that means there will be an official record that you've tried to deal graciously with unacceptable behaviour from a co-worker, if it happens again the company can probably reprimand the manager.
  • AZ_Gato
    AZ_Gato Posts: 1,270 Member
    There should be some type of EEO policy. She is a higher ranking person. She should be bound by ethics to where a hostile working environment is being created and is vulnerable to you reporting her.

    Whatever you do, don't sink to his/her level. Remain calm/professional.


    Now as for what I would do, I would stand up and get in that person's face and yell right back. I work for the military and with some of these Neanderthals, that's the only way to "mark" your territory.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    If she is not your direct manager, why do you have an occasion to talk to her?

    And if this happened in a meeting with witnesses, take it to HR.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Take your phone in and record the meeting without her knowing. If she doesn't it again take the recording to your manager.

    ^^^^ I am not a proponent of this. Our society has edited too much and this is a bad idea. I assume you have an HR department and they have P & P's in place to take care of how to report. Further, I had a friend sued over recording something without someone elses knowledge so be careful.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Take your phone in and record the meeting without her knowing. If she doesn't it again take the recording to your manager.

    This is illegal in most states, or at least may get her fired.


    OP, document each case, including who witnessed it and talk to your HR rep.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Ex-Lax brownies. Shots fired. Time to fire back.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    Go through HR and follow procedure. Don't go off the rails.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Or junk punch her if there is not an HR departmemt.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    Talk to your manager and then go to HR if need be. Or have your manager at the meeting with her tomorrow.

    I agree with this. Your manager should have your back on this. It is not something you should have to deal with directly.
  • bigbear167
    bigbear167 Posts: 39 Member
    go to HR tell them the problem.mention hostile work place.that should take care of it.
  • Nenahysteria
    Nenahysteria Posts: 1
    Go right to HR. Do not do chain of command.
  • CleoIvy
    CleoIvy Posts: 1
    Talk with your manager; tell them that unless that person treats you with the respect you deserve you expect them (your manager) to act as a buffer. I'd also contact HR at the same time. Tell them your situation and that you've asked your manager to intervene. If nothing changes or your manager is not proactive on your behalf, go back to HR and ask them to step in. In this way you haven't shown disrespect, or gone behind your manager's back by going straight to HR - you're taking the high road.
  • TheSteelerGirl
    TheSteelerGirl Posts: 108
    do wat I did to my perverted boss... kick him in the nuts.... oh..my bad.. she is a woman... then ***** slap her... my kick to his nuts did not stop him from being a total *kitten* though... :cry:
  • jess7386
    jess7386 Posts: 477 Member
    Whenever anyone has attempted to yell at me at my job for any reason, I tell them to come back when they can talk to me in a normal tone of voice.

    Then walk away.

    They are usually dumbfounded.
  • scribega
    scribega Posts: 159 Member
    Take your phone in and record the meeting without her knowing. If she doesn't it again take the recording to your manager.

    This is illegal in most states, or at least may get her fired.


    OP, document each case, including who witnessed it and talk to your HR rep.

    I record some meetings I am in for note taking purposes. But yes, check with your state laws.
    She mentioned that it is sometimes a private meeting so there might not be witnesses so it is her word against the other person.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    That's something your manager should be taking care of, and if that doesn't work, go to HER manager.

    This. Then if that doesn't work, go to HR. Hopefully, you won't have to go that far.
  • MSeel1984
    MSeel1984 Posts: 2,297 Member
    If she is not your direct manager, why do you have an occasion to talk to her?

    And if this happened in a meeting with witnesses, take it to HR.

    Well it's a healthcare setting...she's in a different department, but we all work together as a team, if that makes sense.

    I have to work with her as part of my job but she is not my direct supervisor.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Take your phone in and record the meeting without her knowing. If she doesn't it again take the recording to your manager.

    This is illegal in most states, or at least may get her fired.


    OP, document each case, including who witnessed it and talk to your HR rep.

    I record some meetings I am in for note taking purposes. But yes, check with your state laws.
    She mentioned that it is sometimes a private meeting so there might not be witnesses so it is her word against the other person.

    It is fine in almost every case if the other person knows that you are recording. But recording without consent is different.
  • kf4vkp
    kf4vkp Posts: 164 Member
    Report it to your manager. Request an intervention meeting between the two of you. Include your manager and hers and possibly HR.

    Honestly, if she did this in front of other managers and no one stepped up, it's past the point to contact HR.
  • Getyourshineon
    Getyourshineon Posts: 114
    Do you have an HR department at work? If so maybe ask a representative from HR to be at the meeting. They should be trained in conflict resolution, and will help keep tempers from running too high. Plus, that means there will be an official record that you've tried to deal graciously with unacceptable behaviour from a co-worker, if it happens again the company can probably reprimand the manager.

    This!
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    Whenever anyone has attempted to yell at me at my job for any reason, I tell them to come back when they can talk to me in a normal tone of voice.

    Then walk away.

    They are usually dumbfounded.

    ^^ Do this.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    So...this individual has done this before-multiple times. I've sat down with her and tried to talk with her reasonably and calmly about it, but it persists.

    She is a higher up/manager at work...but not MY manager. She has lost her temper and literally screamed at me in front of other employees. This morning it happened at our morning meeting in front of all of the other managers at work.

    I've just about had it. I've been nice-spoken with her in private and now I've had it...

    How would you all handle a person like this? I'm meeting with her again tomorrow but am not encouraged about the results of speaking with her in private.
    you have a room full of witnesses.

    complain.
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
    Do you have an HR department at work? If so maybe ask a representative from HR to be at the meeting. They should be trained in conflict resolution, and will help keep tempers from running too high. Plus, that means there will be an official record that you've tried to deal graciously with unacceptable behaviour from a co-worker, if it happens again the company can probably reprimand the manager.

    This... at this point it is considered harassment and is illegal in the workplace. Get HR involved and document all encounters as best you can.
  • SyntonicGarden
    SyntonicGarden Posts: 944 Member
    Take your phone in and record the meeting without her knowing. If she doesn't it again take the recording to your manager.

    ^^^^ I am not a proponent of this. Our society has edited too much and this is a bad idea. I assume you have an HR department and they have P & P's in place to take care of how to report. Further, I had a friend sued over recording something without someone elses knowledge so be careful.

    Agreed about the potential danger of this. Some states have laws about recording conversations...

    Talk to your manager if you have the rapport. Otherwise, go to HR and get it documented. If you have an ally from the meeting, that might help...
  • LBNOakland
    LBNOakland Posts: 379 Member
    Report it to your manager. Request an intervention meeting between the two of you. Include your manager and hers and possibly HR.

    Honestly, if she did this in front of other managers and no one stepped up, it's past the point to contact HR.

    I'm shocked no one else complained. If it is a healthcare setting, surely you have HR available. Whether they intervene correctly or not, once you file the complaint and cite hostile work environment, you should get some response. If not, file an EEOC complaint. That should get some attention.

    Just asking if you can record the conversation may make her more aware of how she is acting. Does she yeall at everybody? Is it the way she communicates? If so, she may need some training!
  • Vickilick
    Vickilick Posts: 81 Member
    I'm really sorry to hear this has happened to you. I've been in a similar situation myself and know it can feel embarrassing and degrading.

    I know in the UK you can record the conversation as I know someone who did it and then sued the person who was abusive, although most people would rather just resolve the situation.

    I agree with pretty much most of what's been put previously about approaching HR and I'd definitely make your manager aware of the situation.

    I hope this is resolved for you.

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