Why is everyone judged/ashamed of their lapband?

Kwilliams75

Sorry to hear that your lap band didn't work for you!! I have been blessed to have a wonderful support group through my doctor and a wonderful patient advocate also. I can honestly say without them and all the pre-nutritional training that my insurance made me go through mine probably would not have worked for me either. If anyone is looking to get lap band, go through the six months of nutritional consults before hand so that you can start you changes before the surgery!!

Thinwithin2010

My mother in law had it done and 2 years now wants it out. It helped her lose some but she was always getting sick. She also had a million excuses for the foods she ate after the first few months.. Oh I can't eat bread items but could suck down a donut.. Her small amounts if food soon turned into larger amounts and when she threw up it was blamed on bad food..Not the amount she ate. This was just a way to fool herself but she didn't and still doesnt believe her mindset needed to change. She used it as an excuse. The hand still picked up the food and stuck it in her mouth so that band did nothing for her..I see her when she walks past a candy and its almost like she has to have that item right away or else... I know she grew up in the depression and alot of times food was scarce. I think she always needs these things as a defence mode from way back when..So maybe a counseler will work but this is my mother in law and im not saying shes nuts!!!! lol I myself even with seeing her and her issues would never make bad judgements on anyone with this surgery. Each of us is different and if it works great!! If not the person already knows, they dont need a reminder. Good luck to all however you tackle you loss..

HealthyChanges2010

My mother in law had it done and 2 years now wants it out. It helped her lose some but she was always getting sick. She also had a million excuses for the foods she ate after the first few months.. Oh I can't eat bread items but could suck down a donut.. Her small amounts if food soon turned into larger amounts and when she threw up it was blamed on bad food..Not the amount she ate. This was just a way to fool herself but she didn't and still doesnt believe her mindset needed to change. She used it as an excuse. The hand still picked up the food and stuck it in her mouth so that band did nothing for her..I see her when she walks past a candy and its almost like she has to have that item right away or else... I know she grew up in the depression and alot of times food was scarce. I think she always needs these things as a defence mode from way back when..So maybe a counseler will work but this is my mother in law and im not saying shes nuts!!!! lol I myself even with seeing her and her issues would never make bad judgements on anyone with this surgery. Each of us is different and if it works great!! If not the person already knows, they dont need a reminder. Good luck to all however you tackle you loss..

hm, sounds like a typical food addiction like the rest of us have Her behavior just like any of us without surgery if not changed the weight either doesn't come off or plops right back on.

Counseler = crazy? Nah, in my mind if someone can be helped by talking to someone about food issues, self esteem issues, fear of succeeding, etc, I don't see them as crazy in the slightest, perhaps it's the ones who don't examine their lives that turn out crazy.:laugh:

LoveMy4Kids

I would never judge, I have thought about having surgery done to help out lots of times! However I have personally known 3 people to have the by pass surgery done and all of them gain back their weight plus. Have never knowns personally someone who had it done and kept the weight off! Also a friend of mine just about died after the surgery! She also never told anyone till she was admitted to the hospital with all her organs shutting down, then thats when it all came out! She ended up losing 160, then gaining back that plus more and in a wheelchair full time! Sad really! So that is why I am so afraid of having the surgery done! I have never known anyone who has had the lap band done, but same thing, its major surgery and anything can go wrong! I just keep telling myself I CAN do this on my own, hopefully this time around I will and will stick to the healthy lifestyle I have been working at! I CAN DO THIS, lol. I wish you success with whatever you choose!

waguchan

I love the reply that sparkles321 posted.

I'm not ashamed that I had surgery. But I prefer to keep it secret because of all the judgmental people. It has taken a lot of hard work to lose this much weight and I don't want anyone dismissing my success as "the easy way out". So I don't share that information with anyone, not even my own father and younger sisters.

My BMI was 40 when I had the surgery. I was very healthy and pretty physically fit and exercised regularly and watched what I ate. But was just unable to get below a BMI of 40 on my own after years of trying by myself. I spent two years attending a medically supervised weight loss clinic that involved weekly appointments with dietitians, therapists, and doctors, plus 3 personal training appointments a week. I was doing sprint triathlons, running 5Ks, and completing 27 mile inline skating marathons... but I still was 5'3" and over 200 pounds.

So I finally decided to have lap band surgery. I haven't lost the weight so fast that anyone has suspected. Even with the surgery and lots of exercise and calorie counting, it's taken me 2 years to lose 75 pounds. My metabolism is just so screwed up, I can't lose weight if I eat "normal" portions sizes. I have to limit my intake to less than 1000 calories a day to lose weight or I just maintain or gain, even when I exercise 2 hours a days (including strength training, interval training, martial arts, and jogging). And without the band, it is nearly impossible to control my hunger to eat the limited amount of calories needed for my body to lose weight.

bellanean

First of all, I think it is kind of obvious when someone gets it because they lose the weight really fast. Should we judge them? Not at all. I would like to get the surgery but first of all, I have never been cut into and I only need to lose 100lbs not 400...

Although I am 100lbs + overweight, I do not have diabetes, high colesterol or high blood pressure. I have asthma though, but I don't have any of the major health issues (you guys know what I'm talking about) so they will not give the surgery to someone like me even though I am really overweight. Also I am 6'2" for my height so I carry the weight really well. This may be why I don't have any of the health problems a lot of people have when they are obese because I have athletic genes, who knows.

The guy who said you should not have the surgery unless medically necessary is probably right. If it would save your life...I think that was the purpose of it...but nowdays you have everyone wanting the surgery

Having struggled with my weight for so long I can't blame people for wanting the surgery because I understand it gets so damn frustrating dealing with being up and down with your weight your entire life.

In the end it is a personal decision and it is a shame some people have to hide it.

First off, the weight always doesnt "come off fast" I am a lapbander and I am only losing about 2 pounds a week and I BUST MY BUTT for this weight loss. I eat right and I work out hard. Granted some lapbanders dont need to do much and the band works for them, more then a tool, the weight just drops off. For me, it doesnt work like that. I need to eat right and I need to work out. I need to do just as much as everyone else does. The difference is, with the lap band, I dont pig out how I use to. I dont go to mcdoanlds and over two meals for myself, I dont sit in bed all day and eat icecream. It stops me from this stuff.

If I chose to stop eating right and working out, the band would be pointless. I would not lose any weight and I would probably gain some. For some people, I must admit it is a quick fix, but for me, its a tool. It only helps with a few little things, but I do the majority of the work. I have been overweight since I was in grammar school and have always been trying to diet, I would lose 20-25 pounds and then give up. I have already lost 50 and am not giving up this time.

Being 100 pounds over weight is A LOT. People that 400 pounds overweight prolly wouldnt get the lapband, they would prolly have gastric bypass because the lapband is the slowest weight loss surgery there is. I didnt have any comorbidities but I got this surgery before I did get any. I dont believe anyone carries their weight around "well" when they are over 300 pounds and you will start having problems if you dont control your weight (which i know you are doing).



I am not ashamed of having lapband, but I do not tell people, why should I? I work as hard as the next person to lose the weight. If someone over weight asked me, I would prolly inform them , incase they were interested but I see no reason to go telling everyone in my life. Its my personal choice and noone else needs to be informed inless it effects them.

SHBoss1673

I really don't judge people on it for having it done.

But in most cases (other than medical necessity cases) what I really have a hard time with is the fact that it really doesn't do anything for you that you couldn't do on your own. What does the lap band or GB surgery do? It limits the amount of food you can take in. This can be done without surgery, and IS done without surgery every day by millions of people. OK, so if you have some kind of medical condition, then maybe I can see having it done (and I'm not talking about type II diabetes which is brought on by the extra weight itself usually).

People are usually required to do some things before they can have the surgery, Usually they have to lose a certain amount of weight, attend nutrition classes, and be cleared medically to be able to have the surgery. Well, if you can do all these things for the surgery, I don't understand why you don't do them without the surgery.

So from my point of view, I just don't understand why people want to risk major surgery when just doing the things they are required to do to have the surgery will eventually get them to where they want to be. Is it easier than simply dieting and exercise? I doubt it, not from what it sounds like. Is it safer than dieting and exercise, well that's a resounding NO, I don't think anyone will argue with that. Is it faster than dieting and exercise? Sometimes, but really, is quicker really all that much better for long term health?
As far as I can tell YES, it's safer than living morbidly obese, but if you decide to do something about the weight, I would think that major surgery would be an absolute, no questions, tried everything and had experts stumped (true experts, not your GP doctor and a few trainers), Last resort. And I think that IS the case for some people who have it done, but more and more, it's not the case anymore.

If you have had it done, ask yourself, was it REALLY the last straw? Or was it just a lifetime of frustration with diets and being overweight that drove you to it? Not judging, I completely understand the attitude, but that doesn't change the reasoning.

again, this isn't a judgement, it's me trying to understand. It's hard to wrap my head around it, when it isn't a medical requirement.

waguchan

These are the type of responses that make me keep it a secret from friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers. People say that they don't judge and then immediately voice their opinion that it isn't necessary or isn't safe.

SHBoss1673

These are the type of responses that make me keep it a secret from friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers. People say that they don't judge and then immediately voice their opinion that it isn't necessary or isn't safe.

I don't think that's judging anyone, that's just voicing my understanding of the situation. I don't think any less of someone for doing it, and therefore I'm not criticizing their actions, I just want to try to understand. If you feel differently about it, then try to help me understand what someone's thought process is. I can take it if you don't agree with me, but at least tell me why. I didn't go through the process, so maybe I'm missing some fundamental reasoning as to why this is something other than what I think it is.

bellanean

These are the type of responses that make me keep it a secret from friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers. People say that they don't judge and then immediately voice their opinion that it isn't necessary or isn't safe.

I don't think that's judging anyone, that's just voicing my understanding of the situation. I don't think any less of someone for doing it, and therefore I'm not criticizing their actions, I just want to try to understand. If you feel differently about it, then try to help me understand what someone's thought process is. I can take it if you don't agree with me, but at least tell me why. I didn't go through the process, so maybe I'm missing some fundamental reasoning as to why this is something other than what I think it is.

I personally dont have a book of reasons why I did it. I did it because I didnt have enough disipline to do it on my own. I now couldnt be happier that I did it.

Tamishumate

If you are working your butt off and losing two pounds per week and the lapband is there to stop you from overeating, maybe there is more to it than food. Maybe you have something happening emotionally that you need to do with ? If you lay in bed all day and eat ice cream its not cause your hungry, there is a cause for that. I just think people really need to take a look as to why we overeat. There is always a reason behind it and its not ever really cause we are hungry and we like food. We all like food. That is clear. .
I just hope people are dealing with the real issues that got them so overweight in the first place.

Ms_Natalie

I don't think anyone has the right to judge. There are many medical and psychological reasons why people struggle to lose weight.

I would call having this fitted as a last resort and not a quick fix. We all know people who have been on every diet conceivable and yet still have lost no weight. If you've spent most of life trying wouldn't you consider it?

I have not had one but I can understand why people choose them. Yes there will be "some" that regard it as an easy option but I am certain the absolute overwhelming majority of people have spent their entire life trying and are so desperate they look at this as their last resort.

I would never judge anyone for any method they choose to lose weight. People will have their own reasons for choosing how to lose the weight and we don't know the reasons behind the "why" so what gives us the right to judge?

I will support anyone who is committed to losing weight no matter how they choose to achieve it!

Couldn't agree more :flowerforyou:

SHBoss1673

I personally dont have a book of reasons why I did it. I did it because I didnt have enough disipline to do it on my own. I now couldnt be happier that I did it.

this is my whole point. I'm not upset that it worked for you, in fact I'm happy it worked out, but can't you see why the above statement is confusing to some?

bellanean

I personally dont have a book of reasons why I did it. I did it because I didnt have enough disipline to do it on my own. I now couldnt be happier that I did it.

this is my whole point. I'm not upset that it worked for you, in fact I'm happy it worked out, but can't you see why the above statement is confusing to some?

To some yea, i understand, which is why i dont tell anyone, i dont really care about their thoughts. I wasnt scared of surgery at all so it seemed like a good idea for me.

bellanean

If you are working your butt off and losing two pounds per week and the lapband is there to stop you from overeating, maybe there is more to it than food. Maybe you have something happening emotionally that you need to do with ? If you lay in bed all day and eat ice cream its not cause your hungry, there is a cause for that. I just think people really need to take a look as to why we overeat. There is always a reason behind it and its not ever really cause we are hungry and we like food. We all like food. That is clear. .
I just hope people are dealing with the real issues that got them so overweight in the first place.

I use to eat a lot because I was fat and I figured why not, it tasted good and I was already fat and looked gross, why not just eat more.

I dont know if stress can cause you to not lose weight , but i have tons of that, so that can have something to do with it, but other then that i follow a good diet and work out plenty. I just lose weight slowly. 2 pounds is good for me, with the lap band your only suppose to lose 1-2 pounds. So im right on schdl, some weeks its more, but not consent. Im happy where my weight loss is, but thanks for your concern!

HealthyChanges2010

Can I say, without anyone judging or getting mad, that I get a little offended when people ask me if I had it done. ? I didn't, but I. Am always slightly taken aback when people ask me how I lost so much weight. Proper diet and tons of exercise is how, and proud of it. .

This happens to me as well:blushing: I have worked so very hard on getting the weight off, kickin my *kitten* on my workouts and changing my food habits. I am so proud of myself for making the choice to go it without surgery. Yes, the thought went through my mind as a number of ppl around me where going the surgery route. But I felt for me the healthier way would be to do it completely by myself. Please don't feel offended by my words, none is intended, honestly:flowerforyou:

I just knew in my heart the right decision for me was changing my habits and for others it's a different route they chose.

I am proud of doing it the way my heart wanted to, it has worked well for me and I am content with the decision. If/when it ever comes across as anything different from ppl I think part of that might be more ignorance of the procedures than anything. At least with some ppl. Of course I cannot speak for everyone.

I would have been ashamed of myself has I done it differently than I did, does that mean I'm ashamed of others? NO, it means I had to pick my way and be OK with that and others choose their method. But I still carry ALOT of SHAME on allowing myself to gain this much, so my shame has little to do with others at this point and much to do with me and what I'm working on to rid myself of it.:drinker:

I can't explain it any better than this but it's what has worked for me. I didn't want anything invasive whether it be surgery of either type done to my body. I wanted a slow process and though it has been far quicker than I ever could have imagined, I'm ok with that and will deal with the end results of it.

But as Tami shared, I too get asked that question and I think it bothers me because I worked very hard at changes on myself. That is not taking away from those that had surgery, but when I am asked some ppl have various attitudes toward surgery and I don't want to be looked at that way when that was not my way.

I am proud of my decision as each of us should be. The decision we all have made in whatever form or fashion was to get our bodies healthy and safe by losing the weight and gaining healthy food habits along the way for LIFE.

That's what I am working on and always will be:flowerforyou:
Becca

Edited to add: Of all the ppl I've known now (RT) that have had the surgeries, I am the only person that has kept the weight off by going the non surgery route. For me that's huge!!

HealthyChanges2010

If you are working your butt off and losing two pounds per week and the lapband is there to stop you from overeating, maybe there is more to it than food. Maybe you have something happening emotionally that you need to do with ? If you lay in bed all day and eat ice cream its not cause your hungry, there is a cause for that. I just think people really need to take a look as to why we overeat. There is always a reason behind it and its not ever really cause we are hungry and we like food. We all like food. That is clear. .
I just hope people are dealing with the real issues that got them so overweight in the first place.

This is something I also struggle with, if the lapband surgery takes off the same amount each week a nonsurgery person takes off, I'm not sure I understand what the extra is in having the lapband?

I absolutely AGREE, eating our feelings can have many many emotional issues behind it. By losing weight too quickly I don't feel the issues can be resolved in perhaps the way they need to be. It takes time, sometimes a very long time. To drop the weight and not learn the WHY's of it being gained, it's highly likely it will all be put back on and so much more.

Finding out WHY I am hungry for something besides food is what I am in the midst of learning, I don't feel I could have had the time to work on this had the weight dropped off so quickly going the surgery route. It wouldn't have been the best way for me is all. I see a therapist currently and am working on body issues and shame issues in regards to my body image for a number of reasons without this extra help, I think all the weight would already be back on. I have much to learn and I have learned much:drinker: :flowerforyou:

My thoughts..
Becca:flowerforyou:

IsMollyReallyHungry

And you should be proud of your lapband and your success. Yes there is the sad misconception out there about WLS! It is not the easy way out at all!! Check out new thread I start this week. I will post inspirations their daily. You know what you have accomplished so ignore the negative opinions. I do very well at it because I know people do not understand. I don't hold it against them or resent them. They are just igonorant and ususally I do not try to correct them.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/107774-wls-support-and-inspirational-information

waguchan

For me, at least, the lap is the only thing that has worked because it's very difficult to eat so few calories without it. In order to lose weight, I need to eat less than 1000 calories a day without eating my exercise calories. Try doing that without a tool like the lap band to lose weight.

I followed a medically supervised weight loss program with dietitians, doctors, therapists, and personal trainers for 2 years. I followed their guidelines of eating every few hours and keeping my calorie counts between 1200-1500 calories per day. And I exercised at least an hour everyday. I became very fit, but I didn't lose much weight. After 2 years at that usually very successful program, I only lost 25-30 pounds. After the initial loss, I just maintained for a very long time. And 2 years of working that hard to lose so little weight gets pretty discouraging after a while. It's so easy to gain it back. When you start to see the numbers go back, it is scary and a lot of people give up. But this lap band is a tool I'll have for the rest of my life. I'll have the surgeon and his staff to help me get back on track if my weight starts to go up again.

And as for safety, I was diagnosed as being insulin resistant and close to being diabetic. My family history has just about every disease in it you can imagine. The risk of complications from lap band surgery are minuscule compared to the risk of dying from obesity related diseases. I'm 42 years old, the bread-earner in the family, and the mother to a beautiful 3 year old girl. I had to do this for my family.

My weight loss surgeon wants me to eat between 800-1000 calories per day, and that works for me. Eating the calories that MFP recommends to me does not work. I gain or maintain at the calorie counts. But it is very difficult to sustain a diet of less than 1000 calories per day without a tool like the lap band.

SHBoss1673

For me, at least, the lap is the only thing that has worked because it's very difficult to eat so few calories without it. In order to lose weight, I need to eat less than 1000 calories a day without eating my exercise calories. Try doing that without a tool like the lap band to lose weight.

I followed a medically supervised weight loss program with dietitians, doctors, therapists, and personal trainers for 2 years. I followed their guidelines of eating every few hours and keeping my calorie counts between 1200-1500 calories per day. And I exercised at least an hour everyday. I became very fit, but I didn't lose much weight. After 2 years at that usually very successful program, I only lost 25-30 pounds. After the initial loss, I just maintained for a very long time. And 2 years of working that hard to lose so little weight gets pretty discouraging after a while. It's so easy to gain it back. When you start to see the numbers go back, it is scary and a lot of people give up. But this lap band is a tool I'll have for the rest of my life. I'll have the surgeon and his staff to help me get back on track if my weight starts to go up again.

And as for safety, I was diagnosed as being insulin resistant and close to being diabetic. My family history has just about every disease in it you can imagine. The risk of complications from lap band surgery are minuscule compared to the risk of dying from obesity related diseases. I'm 42 years old, the bread-earner in the family, and the mother to a beautiful 3 year old girl. I had to do this for my family.

My weight loss surgeon wants me to eat between 800-1000 calories per day, and that works for me. Eating the calories that MFP recommends to me does not work. I gain or maintain at the calorie counts. But it is very difficult to sustain a diet of less than 1000 calories per day without a tool like the lap band.

what you are saying is you exhausted all other possibilities, and this became a medical necessity in order to prevent serious problems and possible death. this is the one reason I completely understand for doing it. But this isn't why a growing number of people ARE doing it. And again, if someone want's to take those risks, fine, I'm not going to fight with them about it. I'm just trying to wrap my head around why people who have other options choose to do it. This is purely a scientific discussion for me, I like understanding the reasons behind things, I really don't care and don't pass judgement about it. I recognize that people are very polarized on this topic, and I'm kind of right in the middle on it.

I might do some research on this topic, I'd love to find out some of the other facts on it, like rate of relapse and underlying reasoning of choosing it. Maybe also some numbers on the amount of people who've attributed their weight gain to psychological trauma and if those relapse rates are different from the whole. It's interesting to me.