Why do people consider weight loss surgery cheating?

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  • nolongerXXL
    nolongerXXL Posts: 222 Member
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    With out reading all of the comments. I will post what I used to think and what I think now.

    Even though my mom had her stomach stapled back in the 80's and never really took control of her weight even with the surgery, I have always known deep down that WLS was not a "free ticket" if you will.

    I have now as I've grown older, realized that WLS is hard work and a person must work on improving their eating habits, increased exercise and of course watch what they are eating or it will not work!! I have heard people talk go have had by-passes and they will say I can eat that double cheese burger as long as I don't eat the top bun. Obviously this is not what the surgery is for. Also the surgery has failed to help those people.

    On the other hand I have have seen people who have worked hard along with WLS and they have done wonderfully. So, IMO, WLS requires a dedication to eating right, watching portions (by-pass and stomach stapling allow for stretching over time) and get up and get MOVING!!

    I have considered WLS myself, but here is the thing. I know it is not a catch all fix, you have be active in the the process and change your own habits or the WLS will fail. I don't have the $$ to have the surgery, nor am I 100% sure that this is something I want. I have decided to do it on my own and try to teach myself better eating habits and get in the routine of exercising, which hopefully will make it stick with me.

    Finally, I used to think of WLS as the cure all fix for weight related problems. It really isn't and requires active participation from the person to change their habits, with saying that, I don't consider it cheating if you take all the proper steps and work hard during the process.

    I wish you the BEST of luck and sincerely hope that this is the answer to help you.:heart:
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
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    You still have to make a lifestyle change... you don't take steroids and get magically get ripped just like surgery doesn't make the fat magically go away. If you have a medical issue that would make surgery more optimal for your health than I see no problem... but it always brings me back to...

    How lucky are we to have one of our biggest problems be TOO much food?
  • kobiemom
    kobiemom Posts: 218 Member
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    I wouldn't say that it's cheating, but ....

    It's just a medical replacement for willpower and discipline IMO.

    Judge much? Weight loss surgery requires lifelong commitment to a healthy regimen followed closely by a doctor. It's vitally important to get enough water, keep electrolytes balanced, on and on and on. It's not easy or any kind of shortcut for someone who can achieve weight loss otherwise. If it has been recommended by a doctor and agreed upon by the patient, everyone else can go ..... Sweetie - you don't owe anyone an explanation. Find what works for you and just get healthy. My sister was a trainer and her husband makes custom gym equipment. She gained weight after a back injury then went into high blood pressure. She was in and out of the hospital, on bedrest at home, etc. She couldn't lose weight even under supervision. Bariatric surgery saved her life. This is a sore subject for me.
  • jsanders1965
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    This type of surgery is between you and your doctor. However, I get patients ready for surgery all the time who have regained most if not all of the weight they lost due to gastric bypass. True, others have kept the weight off. It isn't just the surgery, you have to change your whole life, exercise, eat better. Seek psychiatric help. Why did you get so big in the first place? There's so many factors. Socio-economic, cultural, etc. Were you abused as a child? Did your family make you eat everything on your plate because you grew up poor and not eating everything was wasteful. Does your family center all gatherings around food? Rarely is it a medical issue, like thyroid or other metabolic diseases. It's usually something mental. After you have this surgery, will you be able to exercise? Or, do you live in an area where that is very difficult?, ie, can't get to a gym, no trails for walking, the humid heat of living in the south, etc. Do you have access to fresh fruit and veges? Close to get to farmers market? Are you committed to keeping the weight off? It's so sad for me to get people ready for surgery who have a BMI of 56, who have already had gastric bypass, they usually say, I just went back to eating like I used to and/or didn't exercise.

    As for cheating, I don't think it's that so much. It's a serious surgery. Very serious. Do you know what you're getting yourself into? Good communication with your doctor is important. I think seeing a dietician or nutritionist is important after surgery, along with an exercise regime. If you do something as serious as this just to lose the weight and NOT change your life, you're in for trouble in my opinion.

    Good luck and speedy recovery for all those who do get it.
  • basschick
    basschick Posts: 3,502 Member
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    Haven't read the other posts, but I definitely don't see it as cheating. My sister had PCOS and insulin resistance and weighed 440 lbs. There was no way she was going to lose that weight without surgery. The months that followed her gastric bypass surgery were like a roller coaster for her. I remember her crying tears of joy with every milestone: being able to wear jeans again, being able to bend over to tie her shoes, walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, etc. There were also many days when she said if she had to do it over again she would not have had the surgery. She was plagued by serious digestive problems for years and some days she couldn't leave the house because of severe diarrhea. The diet was also very hard to stick to over the long haul. I wish you well and hope you don't have some of the complications that she did.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
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    As long as you lose the weight and keep it off who cares what anyone considers it . . .
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
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    I don't think there is anything wrong with the surgery.

    BUT (and yes, I know what using but here means)

    I'm disappointed that too many doctors recommend it to patients that SHOULD NOT get it. I have only one case and it hits close to home. My niece, she weighed 280 lbs and was 20 years old when the doctor recommended it. She jumped on it, got the surgery and now, three years later, is gaining the 100 lbs she lost back! She was not ready (mentally) to employ the lifestyle change needed to be successful after the surgery and any idiot who spent five minutes talking to her would have been able to see it.

    So for those that get it and then keep the weight off... there's nothing wrong with it.

    In cases like my niece... grrr.

    I once had a gynecologist suggest at the same weight and age that I get a gastric bypass. I mentioned nothing about weight issues, she handed me a pamphlet and started preaching to me about it. I didn't go back to her.
  • sem41278
    sem41278 Posts: 89 Member
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    I don't think its cheating. I know people who have had it and work hard. I wouldn't want to mess around with my insides though. Never being able to eat certain things again without being sick doesn't sound fun either. However I totally understand needing it as a tool. I have some how mustered up the motivation to get myself together but I totally understand the feeling of desperation.
  • canoe4you
    canoe4you Posts: 8 Member
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    I was considering it for about a year and paid out of pocket about $1000 to see a overpriced dietician, psychologist, and nurse but after hearing all of the side effects, the restrictions on how you have to eat your food and when you eat it and how invasive it is I had lots of doubts. The team I went to was very state-of-the-art to a fault, i felt swindled like they were not really concerned about what was best for me and my health and only what was best for their pocketbook and making their facility seem the most fancy and their statistics look the nicest. Horrible support and they made it feel like I could not lose weight without the surgery because I would just gain it all back.

    I might be out of $1000 but I am trying now to prove them wrong and do it the old fashion way so that I have much more control over my body. I have been morbidly obese most of my life and know it is not easy battling eating disorders but I hope I can stay on track. I am only 25 though and do not suffer from PCOS like the OP. I don't feel that it is cheating for those who truly need it. I don't know much about PCOS or the people here commenting about having it and saying they lost the weight even with it. Everyone is different, she might be genuinely putting in the extra effort and need that push, it is up to her to decide if it is right for her to go through that risk. It is a very big one and can come with lots of complications and takes lots of work to keep the results. I'm sure you already know but you have to take the vitamin B supplements the rest of your life if you get the RNY or duodenal switch plus you can not take aspirin ever again even if you do gain the weight back. It is a very serious and invasive surgery.

    Don't worry about what others think, if you always worry about that, even family you will never be happy. I used to do that and never would go outside and I ballooned to 300 pounds. I don't worry about what others think of me anymore even when they immediately get off the treadmill next to me when i walk in at the gym because I can't change other people, just myself. Good luck with whatever decision you make, just make sure you make an informed one.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    I am scheduled to have a gastric bypass on May 24th. I have family and friends making snide comments about my decision. And I keep reading online posts about how weight loss surgery is so horrible because it is cheating.

    I have followed a doctor supervised diet and exercise regiment for over a year. My PCOS is making it impossible for me to lose weight. I've seen and endocrinologist and several other specialists and all are agreeing that it is a good idea if I have weight loss surgery because it will change my hormone composition.

    I see weight loss surgery as a tool...you still have to follow a strict diet and exercise program if you are going to be healthy. You have to be extremely diligent in taking your supplements and protein intake. You can never eat sugary or fatty foods again. It's not as easy as people think.

    Sorry about the rant....I guess I'm just in need of some support or validation of my new journey.

    I have a lot of weight to lose too, and I could probably get WLS if I pushed it. I am not going to though because it is invasive, I could die, and often does not result in lasting weight loss. I know I can lose weight and maintain the traditional way if I just keep following the program the rest of my life. I don't think WLS is cheating either but I keep coming back to the fact that it is so unsafe.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    To the OP:

    What I'm not understanding is if you are having problems losing weight with your PCOS now, how is it going to change when you have the surgery? Will something in your hormones change that will make you more likely to lose weight, purely due to the surgery? It would seem logical that the weight may come back on (and you would still have extra trouble getting it off) if you still have PCOS, as you said PCOS is the cause for your weight problems.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22169760
    Surg Obes Relat Dis. 2012 Jul-Aug;8(4):440-4. doi: 10.1016/j.soard.2011.09.022. Epub 2011 Oct 6.
    Roux-en-Y gastric bypass ameliorates polycystic ovary syndrome and dramatically improves conception rates: a 9-year analysis.

    Abstract
    BACKGROUND:
    Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a common cause of infertility, especially in the morbidly obese. We evaluated the long-term effects of Roux-en-Y gastric bypass on PCOS and infertility.

    METHODS:
    A total of 566 morbidly obese women underwent Roux-en-Y gastric bypass from 2000 to 2009. A total of 31 patients (5.5%) had a history of PCOS. Of the 31 patients, 6 were postmenopausal and 5 lost to follow-up and were excluded. Telephone interviews were conducted with the 20 eligible patients.

    RESULTS:
    The mean age and body mass index was 32 ± 5.8 years (range 22-42) and 52.8 ± 9.08 kg/m(2) (range 37-76) before surgery. All 20 patients had ≥ 2 of 3 diagnostic criteria for PCOS, including clinical or biochemical evidence of hyperandrogenism, anovulation, or polycystic ovaries. Of these, 85% had oligomenorrhea, 70% had hirsutism, and 45% had type 2 diabetes mellitus with medication. Before surgery, 8 patients conceived with or without hormonal treatment, 2 did not desire pregnancy, and 10 did not conceive. The mean follow-up was 46.7 months. After surgical weight loss, menstruation was corrected in 82%, hirsutism had resolved in 29%, and 77.8% of those with diabetes had complete remission. Of the 10 patients who did not conceive before surgery, 4 no longer desired pregnancy, and the remaining 6 patients had become pregnant within 3 years of surgery-5 without any hormonal treatment and 1 with in utero insemination.[/b]

    CONCLUSION:
    Surgical weight loss after Roux-en-Y gastric bypass achieves excellent amelioration of PCOS manifestations and the postoperative conception rate in infertile PCOS subjects desiring pregnancy was 100%.

    I think most of those results are related to weight loss itself. If you can lose weight without the surgery and learn to work with your body, you will probably have similar results.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    I have a lot of thoughts on WLS. More thoughts after reading through this tread, but I haven't seen many speak to the question. The question is why do people consider it cheating.

    Here is the truth as I see it and I am probably right. People think that fat people should be punished. Even doctors they will suggest a 1200 calorie or lower diet in some cases. A lot of people have that mindset, that if you are obese you must be on a very strict VLC diet. Even though time and time again for millions of people this hasn't proven to be effective in fact most people on VLC diets do lose weight. However, when they quit the diet and most will the vast majority will, they start binging and their diets become worse than ever. And there is the notion that if a person is obese and wants to lose weight they must go through grueling amounts of exercise. They must not eat anything with sugar, fat, or even complex carbohydrates. If they aren't eating a salad and some lean meat they are cheating on their diets. If they don't run 5 miles a day they are lazy and not committed. We have all seen the sitcoms where a character has a weight issue and all they are allowed to eat on their diet is lettuce and it's played for laughs when they try to sneak eat a submarine sandwich or some other normal food item. VLC diets plus this workout til you drop attitude is I believe largely responsible for so many people failing to stick to a lifestyle change that will allow them to lose and maintain.

    I have seen this attitude even here. People mocked for not cutting calories enough. People being disrespected for their food choices or the timing of their meals. People being told they must do cardio and lift heavy. There are a lot of issues people don't agree on here as far as what is healthy. And I think a lot of people even here really believe that in order to be effective a person has to be starving and dropping from exhaustion from over exercising.

    Now that being said I think there are pros and cons to WLS and for me the cons outweigh the pros. But, YMMV.

    I agree about VLCD. I cannot follow a diet plan of 1200 calories or even 1500 calories and be satisfied. I would be hungry all day. I would lose weight quicker but it would be completely unpleasant. Following the WW plan and eating weekly points I do fine. I am pretty satisfied with what I am eating. I have not binged in two months. I believe I am eating around 1900 calories or more. It works for me and I have been losing great! 20 lbs in two months.
  • charlenequinn94
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    I am scheduled to have a gastric bypass on May 24th. I have family and friends making snide comments about my decision. And I keep reading online posts about how weight loss surgery is so horrible because it is cheating.

    I have followed a doctor supervised diet and exercise regiment for over a year. My PCOS is making it impossible for me to lose weight. I've seen and endocrinologist and several other specialists and all are agreeing that it is a good idea if I have weight loss surgery because it will change my hormone composition.

    I see weight loss surgery as a tool...you still have to follow a strict diet and exercise program if you are going to be healthy. You have to be extremely diligent in taking your supplements and protein intake. You can never eat sugary or fatty foods again. It's not as easy as people think.

    Sorry about the rant....I guess I'm just in need of some support or validation of my new journey.

    I have an honest question. How does making your stomach smaller change your hormones? Shouldn't you have hormone therapy to change your hormone levels?
    As a person who lives with PCOS. Things quit working and we have to take hormones just to have a normal cycle. It is just easier to lose the weight specially when we get tired of having to use a pill to be normal.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    This is always going to be a touchy subject for a number of people. Full disclosure: I had the lap-band in December 2011. I'm 5'8" and 35 years old. At my highest weight I was 270. I am now about 15 pounds away from my goal of losing 108 pounds. Every day, and I mean EVERY DAY, I question whether or not I regret my decision to do it.

    There are a number of well-informed comments on this thread and just as many well-meaning (albeit largely anecdotal) comments from someone who knows someone. Then there are a handful who I would argue are not well-informed but have a strong opinion one way or the other. And that's OK. I don't take offense at any of these comments, partly because of my own inner struggle with my choice.

    When I first made the decision to do it, I successfully lost 30 pounds on the pre-op diet, which consisted of mostly protein shakes and one lean meal per day. Not surprising that I lost weight, but not a sustainable diet for a lifetime. If I’m being honest with myself, I know I stuck to that diet like glue because I was terrified that my enlarged liver would prevent me from being able to have the surgery done safely. And let me pause there…because surgery of any kind should never be undertaken lightly. It is painful, even when done as a laparoscopic procedure. It also has risks – very serious risks that need to be weighed by the person undergoing the procedure. Ideally, this person is also being supported by wise counsel from their physician as well as trusted family/friends who are genuinely concerned about their well-being.

    To the OP’s question: why do people consider it cheating? Because ultimately, that is a subjective assessment that needs to be evaluated by each individual. There is no definitive answer. Do I think it’s cheating? No, I do not. It is not a magic wand. It requires sustained hard work, both physically and mentally. As many others have said, it is merely a tool. It is also only one of several tools that you will need to learn to wield properly in order to be successful. For me, at its most basic level, my lap band effectively utilizes operant conditioning to force me to change my behavior. Am I capable of eating more than I should? Yes. Do I feel good when I do that? Most certainly not. This becomes a very powerful incentive to change your behavior quickly. If done properly, you learn to adjust your lifestyle to your new surgically-imposed restrictions, which in time becomes the new standard for your behavior and your decisions.

    As I noted, the surgery is only one of several tools you will need. Like anyone attempting to lose weight, you have to make wise choices about your food intake and you simply have to exercise if you wish to sustain your new, healthy lifestyle. I log every calorie and I work out regularly with a personal trainer. And to put it bluntly, you need to get your mind right. That means different things to different people, but to me it meant never giving up…no matter how difficult, no matter how frustrating, no matter how slowly the process may seem to be going at times. And ultimately, that was one of the most powerful things for me. I had made the choice to go down this path, drastic as it was, and I simply could not allow myself to fail.

    As of this writing, I still have the band but I have had all the fluid removed, so it provides zero restriction. I am determined to go the rest of the way on my own. I often wish I had opted to make those same healthy lifestyle changes without the aid of the lap-band. I will never know if I would have been as successful over the course of the last year and a half, but I wish I would have tried. And I mean REALLY tried.

    OP, I wish you all the best in your decision. Feel free to message me if you would like more information.

    Thanks for telling your story. One question I have is that if it still takes sustained hard work, then why have the surgery at all? I can do the hard work without the surgery and not have the complications.
  • HRLaurie614
    HRLaurie614 Posts: 260 Member
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    Its the cowards way out
    when we are out here working our *kitten* off cuz we gotta lose weight- the real way

    Two of my most inspiring MFP friends had weight loss surgery. I did not. They have both lost about the same amount of weight as I have.

    The ONLY difference between us is that they had the surgery and I didn't. All three of us log food religiously. All three of us workout all the time. All three of us have made lifelong changes in our approach to food and fitness. All three of us have to approach every challenge with willpower and hard work. All three of us are at risk of regaining weight if we fail to retain our new habits - in fact, studies show that of the three of us, I am the most likely to fail.

    We all lost weight "the real way." We all worked our *kitten* off.

    Well said. And, congrats on the amazing weight loss.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    I only think it's cheating when people hoop and holler about how great it is that they lost a big chunk of weight without acknowleging the surgery being the main reason. Similar to me taking credit for walking 37 miles into work when I drove a car. I know people I work with that have lost 150 lbs after surgery, but act like they did it on a treadmill.


    Own it. If it's part of your process at getting healthy, then who cares what they think.

    You work just as HARD, if not HARDER, after weight loss surgery than anyone does to lose the weight. It is only a TOOL. You still have to do the work. The weight doesn't just fall off. It means completely changing your life--immediately. ANYONE WHO THINKS THAT WE DON'T WORK AS HARD HAS NO CLUE.

    Then why get the surgery? I am not against it or trying to be mean but if it is just as hard then why not do it the old fashioned way? Honest question.
  • ken_hogan
    ken_hogan Posts: 854 Member
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    I only think it's cheating when people hoop and holler about how great it is that they lost a big chunk of weight without acknowleging the surgery being the main reason. Similar to me taking credit for walking 37 miles into work when I drove a car. I know people I work with that have lost 150 lbs after surgery, but act like they did it on a treadmill.


    Own it. If it's part of your process at getting healthy, then who cares what they think.

    You work just as HARD, if not HARDER, after weight loss surgery than anyone does to lose the weight. It is only a TOOL. You still have to do the work. The weight doesn't just fall off. It means completely changing your life--immediately. ANYONE WHO THINKS THAT WE DON'T WORK AS HARD HAS NO CLUE.

    Then why get the surgery? I am not against it or trying to be mean but if it is just as hard then why not do it the old fashioned way? Honest question.

    I agree with JD. I know a woman who had the surgery done who lied to her doc that she tried every other means possible to lose the weight and had the surgery done. She still is overweight.
  • ikudbne12
    ikudbne12 Posts: 63 Member
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    'The... patient should be made to understand that he or she must take charge of his own life. Don't take your body to the doctor as if he were a repair shop'. ~Quentin Regestein


    ^^^This^^^
  • mfleeg
    mfleeg Posts: 137 Member
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    My boyfriend's mom just got gastric bypass and I am sorry, but I cannot view it as "hard work". In her case, she has to watch what she eats due to the surgery, but she doesn't exercise at all. Then, she brags about how great she looks. Seriously! There has been no effort on her end. Also, she would have lost weight IF she would have stopped drinking a bottle of wine every night and started to eat a little bit better. It annoyed me because she told me she couldn't work out (she could have! swimming is a great low-impact workout). I don't think her doctor even mentioned that she should try diet/exercise first. That's what I have a problem with, I suppose. That for some, this surgery is a crutch to avoid trying and failing at having your own self-control when it comes to food and physical activity.

    I am sure each case is different, but she lost 60 pounds in two months due to a surgery, not through any hard work on her own merit. It's annoying to hear her tell me how much weight is falling off of her while I am working really hard to lose it the "natural" way. she is angry when i look toned and she doesn't..... and it's like, "yes, i exercise!"
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
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    I only think it's cheating when people hoop and holler about how great it is that they lost a big chunk of weight without acknowleging the surgery being the main reason. Similar to me taking credit for walking 37 miles into work when I drove a car. I know people I work with that have lost 150 lbs after surgery, but act like they did it on a treadmill.


    Own it. If it's part of your process at getting healthy, then who cares what they think.

    You work just as HARD, if not HARDER, after weight loss surgery than anyone does to lose the weight. It is only a TOOL. You still have to do the work. The weight doesn't just fall off. It means completely changing your life--immediately. ANYONE WHO THINKS THAT WE DON'T WORK AS HARD HAS NO CLUE.

    Then why get the surgery? I am not against it or trying to be mean but if it is just as hard then why not do it the old fashioned way? Honest question.

    As someone who has had WLS, I do not agree that it's HARDER than doing things the natural way. Yes there are some things that take a bit more attention and may be more difficult than for someone who has not had WLS.. for example, getting proper hydration can be more difficult for SOME wls patients, or getting all of your macronutrient goals met might take a bit more planning than someone who has not had surgery, but HARDER? Not for me. It's LESS hard. I won't say easy, because it's not.. but it's LESS HARD. For me, not having constant hunger, and being satisfied with smaller portions makes the process LESS HARD... which actually allows me to be able to stick with it so I'm able to continue working hard to meet my goals!