Discouraging Coworkers

Tigger228

Hey everyone!


I've been having a problem with my coworkers lately regarding my diet and it's really getting to me. I work for a very large truck company and my company has three other employees (one of which is in the warehouse) and two are in the office with me and one is my direct supervisor. I am asked on a daily basis what I'm eating regardless if it's breakfast or lunch and when I respond I get very negative/discouraging comments such as "I love peanut butter and jelly but having it on wheat bread ruins it" (as I'm eating it and loving it on wheat bread". They also have the mentality that their death is predetermined and that they are going to live their lives as they want to - smoking and eating very unhealthily. The comments and harassment started almost 2 years ago when I became vegetarian for health and ethical reasons but as my diets get healthier - their comments get worse. I've always respected people who take care of theirselves and would never think of insulting them which is why I think it bothers me so much.


I've weight around 160-170 lbs my entire life until I went on birth control to help regulation with my period/mood about 3 years ago and over that time I gained 50 pounds and ballooned up to 210 pounds. With MFP, diet and exercise I've lost nearly 25 pounds. I've had a hard enough struggle with the support from family, friends and my amazing fiancee', who is also on MFP with me. It seems that everyone in my life is extremely supportive except for the people that I spends over 8 hours a day with, 5 days a week.


I know that I'm going to eventually explode and not have anything productive come out of it. I'm sure that people have had similiar experiences and/or would have some type of advice. HELP!


Thanks ahead of time and Happy Friday everyone

JeneticTraining

You can confront them about it. Tell them that you do not make comments about their eating habits or lifestyle choices and that you do not care to listen to their comments about you.

I can relate to what you are feeling and experiencing because I felt that way not too long ago. It is also helpful to talk to someone about it - even to MFP members.

I am here to listen to you and to provide you support

ReadyToBeMeAt160

i hate that my first instinct is to tell you to start digging on what they're eating which you know is really not how i do (an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind).

I really hope people here have better constructive ideas for you love.

but for what its worth i'm really proud of you. and at least i know that that sort of discouragement actually acts in your favor since you'll want to prove them wrong my difficult one

bacitracin

On a long enough timeline, everyone's survival rate is zero, yes, but you're extending your timeline and feeling better during it.

theCarlton

Always be equipped with an arsenal of under-the-radar sarcastic comments. Example response: "It's a good thing you're not eating my lunch then, huh?"

sullus

I've worked with people like this. The flip side, and just as aggravating is on the rare occasions where I'd decide "sure I'll go in on a pizza with these guys (or whatever)", I then start getting the "I thought you were on a diet" .. "you;re ruining all your hard work" .. "what happened to eating healthy" ...

Best to ignore, as they'll have a comment/dig for anything you do.

You could bring in the EXACT same lunch one of them ate yesterday, and STILL get some kind of comment from them ...

stumblinthrulife

Generally I tell people to suck it up in situations like this, but it sounds like there's a real pattern of 'food harassment' here.

First course of action would be to say to them "Look, I know we have different ideas about what to eat and how to live. If I agree to not comment on your choices, would you ease up on commenting on mine? A bit of banter was fine in the beginning, but it's gone a bit far, and got a bit old now. Thanks."

No doubt it's not going to stop dead, or go away entirely. You work in an environment where friendly ribbing is the norm, and is almost expected. So you'll probably need to be a little less sensitive as well. Just make it clear there's a limit, and make it clear when they've reached it.

If you positively cannot stand any comments whatsoever, then you probably need to be in another line of work - preferably one where you work entirely alone. I'm not trying to be mean in saying that, just pointing out that you can never, ever, 100% control the behavior of others, and that just as you shouldn't have to put up with constant comments, they shouldn't be walking on egg-shells around you.

sullus

....
First course of action would be to say to them "Look, I know we have different ideas about what to eat and how to live. If I agree to not comment on your choices, would you ease up on commenting on mine? A bit of banter was fine in the beginning, but it's gone a bit far, and got a bit old now. Thanks."
....

I always went with "Shut the **** up, dip****". The above would have made them "go to 11" .. food comments PLUS "Oh wait, we cant talk about lunch, the delicate flower might cry"

Or .. critique their critique. "I'll have to give you a C- on that. In addition to failing to recognize that there was a modest portion of saturated fat in my lunch, you also neglected to comment on the mashed potatos. Get your act together, man, bring your A game next time."

ReadyToBeMeAt160

Generally I tell people to suck it up in situations like this, but it sounds like there's a real pattern of 'food harassment' here.

First course of action would be to say to them "Look, I know we have different ideas about what to eat and how to live. If I agree to not comment on your choices, would you ease up on commenting on mine? A bit of banter was fine in the beginning, but it's gone a bit far, and got a bit old now. Thanks."

I agree. and this is definitely past the line of playful joking and into harassment. Being level headed about it but strong and holding your ground is probably exactly right.

stumblinthrulife

....
First course of action would be to say to them "Look, I know we have different ideas about what to eat and how to live. If I agree to not comment on your choices, would you ease up on commenting on mine? A bit of banter was fine in the beginning, but it's gone a bit far, and got a bit old now. Thanks."
....

I always went with "Shut the **** up, dip****". The above would have made them "go to 11" .. food comments PLUS "Oh wait, we cant talk about lunch, the delicate flower might cry"

Yeah, you're probably right. It's all about judging the maturity of your co-workers. I guess truckers aren't known for their sensitivity and rapier wit.

Tigger228

Wow, thank you so much for all of the useful feedback everyone! I appreciate it!!

Miss_Hiker_Pants

Personally , I would tactfully tell them to keep their negative opinions about YOUR meal to themselves, and that what you are eating is a personal choice.

If that doesn't work. Everytime you see them light up a cigarette or shovel down horrible foods, make a remark about their choices. Guaranteed, they will back off. Worked for me :laugh:

ReadyToBeMeAt160

the two on her case aren't truck drivers but staffers in the office so i think there's a better chance of success

erikmsp72

They can comment all they want but it's all hot air, you know. They're likely envious of you for getting in shape! Congrats on making the choices to continue getting healthier!

Cheeky_0102

"what are you eating?"

"nunya"

"what's that?"

"nunya business!"

sullus

"what are you eating?"

"nunya"

"what's that?"

"nunya business!"

*Bidness

rachael726

I know it can be very bothersome when the folks that should be supporting you, just flat out arent.


I'm not sure what type of person you are, but for myself, I wouldnt be able to tolerate that long before I ended up saying something. You can certainly be polite about it, but let them know that this is whats been working for you at this time, but you'll take suggestions into consideration.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Keep your head held high. You CAN do this!

Rachael

melaniecmajors

My coworkers order chinese food at least 2 times a week and they ALL complain about their weight. I laugh. It's so funny to me because they get fed up and then ask ME for advice on how to lose weight, then they fall off the wagon and so goes the vicious circle for them. I've found that even when they ask me for advice about nutrition and exercise, they don't really want it. They just want to relate to me somehow because I'm doing what they can not. (As we speak, the pizza they ordered for lunch arrived - hysterical!!!) Perhaps your coworkers would like to relate to you somehow as well? You have achieved what most people can't - a 25lb weight loss - that takes a lot of discipline that most people don't have or are too lazy to overcome. They ENVY you! Did you ever think of that? My mindset is that I have what they want. Stop defending yourself and be confident in your choices.

MelsAuntie

"Get the Hell off my back. I don't tell YOU how to eat".

katarina236

I have a coworker who will comment on what I eat since I have been eating healthier lately. A few days ago she asked if I wanted to get takeout food for lunch and I said no thanks. She then gets a snide look on her face and says "oh that's right your watching what you eat now" It wasn't the words that she said but the way she said it. I promptly responded with "well I have lost 25 pounds by watching what I eat" then looked her up and down slowly and walked away. B****y yes but oh so satisfying. :devil:

Moral of this story. Try being nice first and not letting it build up inside or else you will do like I did. Unless you want to do like I did

clarkeje1

Do you have to eat around them or are you able to go somewhere else to eat lunch? I don't like eating around people, especially if they are going to comment on my food. Sometimes I'll go out to my car or to another room where there aren't people around. It sounds strange but it will give you some peace and quiet to relax on your lunch break and hopefully the comments will stop since they don't see what you are eating. Also they might get the hint that you don't like to be bothered about your diet choices.

semarsh12

If that doesn't work. Everytime you see them light up a cigarette or shovel down horrible foods, make a remark about their choices. Guaranteed, they will back off. Worked for me :laugh:

Oooooh yes, this! It sure does goes both ways. They are most likely just trying to compensate for the fact that they know they are too lazy to put any effort into better health. JEALOUS.

Snatched614

Hey everyone!


I've been having a problem with my coworkers lately regarding my diet and it's really getting to me. I work for a very large truck company and my company has three other employees (one of which is in the warehouse) and two are in the office with me and one is my direct supervisor. I am asked on a daily basis what I'm eating regardless if it's breakfast or lunch and when I respond I get very negative/discouraging comments such as "I love peanut butter and jelly but having it on wheat bread ruins it" (as I'm eating it and loving it on wheat bread". They also have the mentality that their death is predetermined and that they are going to live their lives as they want to - smoking and eating very unhealthily. The comments and harassment started almost 2 years ago when I became vegetarian for health and ethical reasons but as my diets get healthier - their comments get worse. I've always respected people who take care of theirselves and would never think of insulting them which is why I think it bothers me so much.


I've weight around 160-170 lbs my entire life until I went on birth control to help regulation with my period/mood about 3 years ago and over that time I gained 50 pounds and ballooned up to 210 pounds. With MFP, diet and exercise I've lost nearly 25 pounds. I've had a hard enough struggle with the support from family, friends and my amazing fiancee', who is also on MFP with me. It seems that everyone in my life is extremely supportive except for the people that I spends over 8 hours a day with, 5 days a week.


I know that I'm going to eventually explode and not have anything productive come out of it. I'm sure that people have had similiar experiences and/or would have some type of advice. HELP!


Thanks ahead of time and Happy Friday everyone

Don't let them bring you down! Continue to do U and let them "kick rocks." You'll look AMAZING and they will eventually wanna know what you did. Sweety use all of this to your ADVANTAGE and kill them JOKERS with KINDESS Works everytime!!!

TraceyG1971

So if they ask what you will be eating, just tell them "It's healthy and that's probably not something that you would be interested in." :happy:

lisadlocks

You wrote: Regardless if it's breakfast or lunch and when I respond I get very negative/discouraging comments such as "I love peanut butter and jelly but having it on wheat bread ruins it" (as I'm eating it and loving it on wheat bread".

Perfect comeback and respectful. I love peanut butter and jelly on wheat bread! YUMMY! Nothing else has to be said. Also, you are not eating 8 hours a day so enjoy the rest of the day with you co-workers. Congrats on your success and continue to go to "the wells with water" for encouragement. Everyone doesn't have to be your cheerleader. (though it might be nice)!

queenbea77

I've found when people make comments such as the ones you are getting these people are trying to either make themselves feel better about themselves and their poor choices or they wish they had the willpower you have. It's like the people who try to get you to "fall off the wagon" so to speak. They don't have the willpower to eat healthy or make changes in their own lives and they want everyone to go right along with them.

If someone makes a comment about the type of food you are eating just tell them that "you like it or it best suits your diet" etc. And if you decide to splurge and they make a negative comment about that then just say "Yes, I know I did my workout for today so I can afford to have a little treat".

To be honest - I think they are just jealous that you are succeeding and they are not! Good luck and don't let anyone get you down.

odddrums

I know what you mean, I get comments when I go out to lunch and only eat half of a burger or something like that. Best thing to do is just smile and say "that's great that it works for you, this is what works for me." Or just don't say anything. If people are making comments sometimes they're just saying things to say things, but if they're actually getting under your skin and trying to make you feel bad ignoring them is the best thing you can do.

Afura

Have you talked to them about it? Nothing serious but a "I get we don't eat the same, but this cracking on the food I eat crap is getting old". I don't think coworkers have to be supportive, it's nice, but they're your co-workers not your family or friends. They should respect you and your way of eating as a coworker at least.
I don't know your workplace, or your relationship with these people (ie friendly, tolerant, joking, etc) and any kind of reaction to that would vary based on that too. I'd knock it off if someone said "Hey, I get it, you like to tease me about XYZ, it's not funny to me", fair enough, some people may take a more blunt approach.

victoryaanne

You can confront them about it. Tell them that you do not make comments about their eating habits or lifestyle choices and that you do not care to listen to their comments about you.

I can relate to what you are feeling and experiencing because I felt that way not too long ago. It is also helpful to talk to someone about it - even to MFP members.

I am here to listen to you and to provide you support

I agree with this.

eperezamora

I really do think that you are making a big deal out of it.. Does it really matter what they think? I dont think so.... It just sounds like you want to have a pitty party.. If you are liking what you eat and eating healthier than they are, then WHO CARES, what they say. Maybe its just your job environment that you are not happy with, sounds like you should look for another job, stop caring about what others thinks, and start caring about what makes you happy..

Sorry, for being so blunt. wish you luck

MyOwnSunshine

I have found, not only with weight loss but with most other aspects of life, that attempting to change others' attitudes, behaviors and words is never very effective.

I have found much more success in changing my own thoughts, behaviors and words.

My advice would be to stop caring what your co-workers think or say about the food you eat and get on with things. Every person in the world is not obligated to provide us with support or encouragement.