Discouraging Coworkers
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I had a similar situation developing at work, with family and basically everywhere! Temptation is going to be everywhere and everybody is going to have an opinion but stay focused on what YOUR goals and YOUR reasons for your daily choices in your weigh loss journey. Remember why you're doing this to begin with and let your "fans" enjoy the show! Stay positive!
Everybody got something to say all the time and make all kinds of suggestions on how to deal and what to do but remember you have to at the end of the day be happy with yourself your choices and your daily progress don't allow anyone to take your shine. People always have a "problem" with your strength and will power don't give it a second thought ! Stay focused and forge forward! This is your life choice don't allow them and their negative energy to bring you down to their level! Build up that self assurance and show 'em what you working toward by advancing forward! Hit me up if you need a pick me up when ever! :happy:0 -
You could certainly make digs back, or get mad or tell them they'll all die early.
Or you can do what will work, which is to calmly and nicely say, "I appreciate that you're interested in what I'm trying to do, but I really prefer not to talk about my food or my diet."
Period. Repeat as needed.0 -
I totally get what you are going through! I am from Norway originally and I am currently living in Ohio, so when I eat Norwegian food or mix American food stuffs with Norwegian habbits and ways of eating said food, i get all kinds of comments. I usually pretend i did not hear the comment and simply walk away, or go with "don't knock it till you've tried it", "it's perfect for my diet and/or me" or the "good thing i am the one eating it then, cause i love it!".
It does get tiresome yes, but then at the same time - YOU have to like what you eat, they don't. Ignore them, keep on succeeding and be and eat what you enjoy! Good luck!
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i learned along time ago that there are alot of ignorant people in this world. I also over time have gotten thick skin (no pun intended) and learned to not let people hurt me. I dont let them have that power over me. You are doing something positive for yourself and are probably upset that they dont have the same will power.0
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You're all AMAZING!! Thank you so much!0
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1. Go to your doctor.
2. Print out your blood pressure, cholesterol, sugar, etc.
3. Put up the print out where you work with a note:
Until you can meet or beat these numbers STFU about my diet.
4. When anyone makes a crack just point to the print out.
5. If they still bust on you file an equal opportunity claim.0 -
If you can eat lunch out of the office I would really consider that. Not to run away from them, but if it's nice outside and there's a park or plaza or something nearby why not enjoy it? Take your sandwich and a book or iPod and enjoy the fresh air! You'll get a break from the office and the constant food monitoring. If they try to start something just tell them you have been enjoying the warm weather. It's true!
If that's not possible or if they are all up in your grill about breakfast I would start with something like, "Oh don't worry, I won't make you drink any of my kale smoothie," delivered with a small smile, then get back to work right away. Or even just say, "OK," then get back to work. "Wheat bread? Bleeecccchhhh!" "OK," turn back to your computer screen. They are offering an unsolicited opinion and that doesn't require you to engage, you know? It doesn't hurt to start out by keeping things light or neutral. After you try that if it doesn't shut things down a more direct approach would be the way to go.
It sounds like you have made some amazing progress so keep up the good work! I agree with some other posts that it is good to keep in mind that these are your co-workers so they don't owe you any cheerleading services, but that doesn't mean they should rag on everything you eat either. What you eat for lunch really doesn't have anything to do with work unless your lunch is bourbon so they shouldn't be saying anything at all.0 -
Thank goodness the truck driver I'm married to is known for his sensitivity and wit. He is extremely supportive and proud of me for the changes I've been making.
As far as handling your co-workers, I would suggest the same thing in that you ignore their ignorance. Easier said than done, I know. If that fails, a sarcastic comeback is always good0 -
''what've you got for lunch?''
food
''what sort of food?''
food food
wind them up. drive them mad. be the kid who says ''but whyyyy?'' to every answer.0 -
Although these people are the ones you spend the most time with, they are clearly the least caring and not anywhere close to the most important in your life.
Your health - your business. They ask what you're eating, say food. They taunt, then remind them that there are many more people who eat like you - and those folks don't have to put up with any grief about it. They have a right to live the way they want. So do you!
I know it's hard, but don't show these people that their comments matter to you. They'll either lose interest, or you will0 -
Well, I agree with the majority of folks on here, but a couple are being a bit discouraging. I do not think you want a pitty party at all. I sorta live in 2 worlds, my city job and my country farm, so I get a lot of ribbing about my crazy food choices from my city coworkers. They think eating things that you actually hunt, raise, or forage is odd. I tell them it's a good thing they didn't live just a century ago, they'd starve. I know they aren't being mean, but it can wear thin, but have some sarcastic replies ready and let their comments roll off of you.
One person said get another job, haha- perhaps you like your job and even your coworkers when they aren't critiquing your food choices. Our coworkers can be like family, I spend more time with them than my own kids and husband on workdays, so getting along is important, so I suggest a nice but firm "Lay off on the food comments" and then sarcastic replies afterwards. Grown ups are just like kids sometimes aren't they? no, worse- grownups should know better - good luck0 -
Whenever that happens to me, and it does, I try to deal with it with stupid humor. Sometimes "Ewww I would never eat that" etc gets "Great, more for me" or "Good because I wasn't offering" or if I'm really annoyed "Yeah, I know you're too much of a chicken to eat this." Or sometimes I don't reply at all. If someone shows genuine interest and curiosity I will talk about what I'm eating, but the people who are just trying to be jerks don't deserve a reply or at least not a serious one. If you actually care about these co-workers you could try having a serious conversation with them about how their comments bother you. But if you don't want to be friends with them, I say ignore it if you can and fire back with the sarcasm in a good-natured way when you can't keep quiet.0
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I would probably be mean. I would say something like "I lost 25 pounds" pause...look at their stomachs..."oh, there it is."0
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My responce to them would be if you dont like then dont eat and keep your opinons to yourself. or thats good because i wasnt going to share it with your fat *kitten* anyway. (you can leave the fat *kitten* out if you like). Then if that did not work then I would look at what they are eating and start giving them the disgusting facts about the food they are stuffing in thier face.
Is your supervisor one of the offending people?0 -
Always be equipped with an arsenal of under-the-radar sarcastic comments. Example response: "It's a good thing you're not eating my lunch then, huh?"
^^This
I find that sarcastic/funny remarks actually do make people think without actually having to call them out on it directly... It's a little passive aggressive, but in the workplace, that's not necessarily a bad thing. You could also, individually, speak with them and just tell them that it makes you uncomfortable/hurts your feelings when they criticize the choices that you are making to make your life better. If you tell them straight, calmly and separately, it may make them see that these are your choices for YOUR body and not anything that they need to really concern themselves with :happy:0 -
I like to tell people that by eating right I am guaranteeing I can chase the young men working in the retirement community I'll be living in while their long forgotten. Or that I'll look fab dancing on their grave. Just take everything with grain of salt. You aren't eating well for them.0
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They are so jealous of you! Just smile at them, they are trying to get under your skin. Just like Marietb said, "take everything with a grain of salt." You are doing something that they cannot do, self control. They have nasty habits and they are out of control, but you are in control. Kudos to you girl.0
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Just tell them you know we will all die someday, but you would rather not live out your final days with diabetes, heart disease or whatever. Also, tell them if they don't like wheat bread, then don't eat it. If they ask you what you are having for lunch again, just don't tell them anything.0
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When asked what your eating. Just respond "Food". Don't open yourself up for analysis and discussion about your consumption. Some people just need to mind their own business. Hopefully that will help send the message or possibly open up a discussion about being critiqued.0
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I have a coworker who does NOT take care of herself at all. It is so extreme that a neighbor boy (about 8 yrs old) asked her if she was a man or a woman.
One day I heard her telling another coworker that she's worried about several of us that are now taking vitamins and eating only whole foods and going to gym after work. She's afraid we are overdoing it and something terrible will happen to our health...
The second coworker (bless her) quietly listened and when the first coworker was done talking - she said 'you mean your think smoking and junk food to the extreme - like you do - is better?"
The first coworker stood there for several beats with an offended look on her face and then sheepishly said 'point taken'....
The point of my story is - don't let anyone shame you into quitting. Don't feel embarrassed or hurt by their "baloney".... As you continue to win this health battle, you will find many people on your side - possibly even one or both of antagonists... and if not, at least you will feel great and look great! :laugh:0 -
Haters. People always want to hate when people try to improve. People love train wrecks, they love failure.
I have same issue. They make fun of me everyday with their comments. I just call them haters and luckily I can tell them to go "F" themselves at this job.
It's funny though... they used to laugh at me when I was the fat guy, but now I'm "scrawny, and need to buy smaller clothes."
You can never win with people, so win for yourself.0 -
1. Go to your doctor.
2. Print out your blood pressure, cholesterol, sugar, etc.
3. Put up the print out where you work with a note:
Until you can meet or beat these numbers STFU about my diet.
4. When anyone makes a crack just point to the print out.
5. If they still bust on you file an equal opportunity claim.
This!!0 -
Feel their pain. They feel so inadequate they need you to feel worse about yourself. Rise above it and, although it's hurtful, think about what you want and not what they are trying to do.0
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I have a coworker who will comment on what I eat since I have been eating healthier lately. A few days ago she asked if I wanted to get takeout food for lunch and I said no thanks. She then gets a snide look on her face and says "oh that's right your watching what you eat now" It wasn't the words that she said but the way she said it. I promptly responded with "well I have lost 25 pounds by watching what I eat" then looked her up and down slowly and walked away. B****y yes but oh so satisfying. :devil:
Moral of this story. Try being nice first and not letting it build up inside or else you will do like I did. Unless you want to do like I did
Love it! Lol0 -
People can be cruel, unfortunately. My coworkers are the reason I wanted to get on this website to begin with! Back in October, one of them started the rumor that I look like I'm pregnant and am off having wild affairs. Every word of this is a complete lie. He seemed to get joy out of it and wouldn't shut up until I told him that if he didn't I'd turn him in for harassment and slander. That finally shut him up. I was only 130 pounds at the time, so I have absolutely no idea as to how he came up with that story.0
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Your coworkers feel self conscious about their own health and mortality and seeing you stay on a diet and faithful to losing weight is very condemning for them. You have to realize this and be happy with your progress and not require their approval to your good behavior. It would be like a bunch of smokers standing around deriding a nonsmoker. Just smile and not take their comments to heart as they do not affect your longevity or quality of life one bit. What you put in your mouth and the muscles that you use in daily exercise do affect your life.0
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My first response was something like "In a few months I will weight less but you will still be stupid!" but then I read "an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" and I never heard this. Pure genius!
Not I will go with kill them with kindness! "would you like a half? I don't need to eat this whole sandwich." :bigsmile:0 -
Whenever that happens to me, and it does, I try to deal with it with stupid humor. Sometimes "Ewww I would never eat that" etc gets "Great, more for me" or "Good because I wasn't offering" or if I'm really annoyed "Yeah, I know you're too much of a chicken to eat this." Or sometimes I don't reply at all. If someone shows genuine interest and curiosity I will talk about what I'm eating, but the people who are just trying to be jerks don't deserve a reply or at least not a serious one. If you actually care about these co-workers you could try having a serious conversation with them about how their comments bother you. But if you don't want to be friends with them, I say ignore it if you can and fire back with the sarcasm in a good-natured way when you can't keep quiet.
This would be my approach. I learned early from getting made fun of, bullied, and picked on a lot in school that if you beat them to the punchline, so to speak, you take away the gratification they get from making negative comments about what you're doing. My guess is they say the things they do because deep down they know what they are doing is unhealthy and bad for them. But it's easier to tear someone else down than it is to make a change in yourself so that's what they do. It's tough when you have to face these people daily to just let what they say roll off your back. If I couldn't think of a witty remark (believe it or not, it happens :P) I'd simply shrug and say, "Ok." Don't let them stop you.0 -
I can relate to your story. At my work it is all about chocolate (which is my biggest weakness and addiction). They have it on their desks, in their desks, at staff meetings, and started a "Phat Phriday" social time every Friday with sweets and coffee for anyone at work that wants to attend. The chocolate than migrated out into the public hallway where I have to walk by it 20 times a day. Over the last two years I put on 20 pounds and a lot of it has been stress at work and access to chocolate. In January I decided I needed to do something. I just could not keep out of the chocolate jar and I knew I was eating more than a candy bar a day...probably two. So In February I asserted myself with my coworkers and said the jar had to go. I felt so proud for asserting myself. I even told them that I will be turning 54 in April and that my mother became diabetic at 55 and i don't want to end up like her. I asked that we no longer have food (which was turning into a buffet with cupcakes, cakes, pretzels, you name it) in the hallway. That I couldn't keep out of it and I need to take care of my health. My other coworkers do not have weight issues, they are younger than me, and walk 2 miles every day at lunch, but they feel a need to push food on others. I have arthritic hips and am battling severe pain when I walk or exercise and am trying to resolve these issues as well as lose weight so the candy in the hall was something I could control and reseolve. Two weeks after I asked that it be removed one of my coworkers burst into my office screaming at me and calling me "the hallway Nazi" among other things. I was shocked because nothing had been said since the jar was removed. It came totally out of the blue. All I could say to him is that I was not backing down, that I had no problem with them having candy in their office, but it cannot be in the hall, and I think the problem he was having is that i finally asserted myself. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Our relationship has not been the same since but I'm hoping over time it will improve.
I am proud of the fact that I have asserted myself and took care of me for once. It is just difficult living with the tension, but the tension did dissipate.0 -
I like to put people who are out of line on the defensive by confronting them with questions. Example:
"Yuck, that food you eat is disgusting."
"Why do you feel the need to comment on my food?"
"We'll, I'm just saying that it doesn't look good."
"Why are you compelled to share your opinion with me?"
"We'll, I'm just saying'..."
"Would you like me to judge what you eat every day?"
"We'll, I don't care."
"So because rude behavior is fine for you, you think I should be fine with it, too?"
You get the idea. Answer everything with a question till they get flustered and back off. The best defense is a good offense.0
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