No Support from 'Friends'

MaydayParadeGirl

So my sister is my biggest supporter right now, she's eighteen 5'6 and about 120 and super gorgeous but she works her *kitten* off to stay in shape and she has been really bringing me shopping and telling me what not to eat and refusing to let me spend my money on cookies and stuff. Then I get to work and this girl whose supposed to be my friend and is also using this site and just dropping weight but not showing it is constantly bringing over soda and drinking it teasingly in front of me. It makes it even harder to say no, and now she has other people at work doing it too, and they think it's all funny. I lost about five pounds before I even started using this site, and when I cut out the soda I felt ten times better about myself. Sure it's only been four days but I can already sleep better at night. It's so heart breaking to have to listen to her go on and on about her weight loss and how she's doing so good knowing that she's really shoving her face with the worst foods imaginable on most days (constantly going out for pizza and stuff) and to have her turn around and try and tease me with soda. I haven't even told her that I'm using this site even though we could have probably helped each other because I'm afraid she's just going to try and discourage me from what I'm doing. It sucks when you dont' have any friends who support what you're doing >.<

dbmata

So my sister is my biggest supporter right now, she's eighteen 5'6 and about 120 and super gorgeous but she works her *kitten* off to stay in shape and she has been really bringing me shopping and telling me what not to eat and refusing to let me spend my money on cookies and stuff. Then I get to work and this girl whose supposed to be my friend and is also using this site and just dropping weight but not showing it is constantly bringing over soda and drinking it teasingly in front of me. It makes it even harder to say no, and now she has other people at work doing it too, and they think it's all funny.

I don't know of any work place that endorses one employee or a group of them making it an unwelcoming or unpleasant atmosphere for another employee, particularly when it negatively impacts efficiency. I'd talk to HR. That should fix it in a quick second.


I would also remind her that the workplace is an environment to act professionally in, and it isn't high school.

briabner

This is terrible that your coworkers would do this. Chances are the main girl that is doing it is very insecure about herself and she has to bully you in order to feel good about yourself. Also, she is probably not loosing weight like she says she is she is just doing this so the attention is on her (another classic sign of being insecure). At least you have all the great support on this sight as well as your sister sounds like is a great supporter too.

Keep your head up and keep doing what you are doing and when you start slimming down everyone at work/family will notice a difference.

amyllu

This is terrible that your coworkers would do this. Chances are the main girl that is doing it is very insecure about herself and she has to bully you in order to feel good about yourself. Also, she is probably not loosing weight like she says she is she is just doing this so the attention is on her (another classic sign of being insecure). At least you have all the great support on this sight as well as your sister sounds like is a great supporter too.

Keep your head up and keep doing what you are doing and when you start slimming down everyone at work/family will notice a difference.

That's exactly what I think too! Good post!
You will soon be able to call her bluff so don't fret over her stupidity!

ShaunaMcMac

I don't know of any work place that endorses one employee or a group of them making it an unwelcoming or unpleasant atmosphere for another employee, particularly when it negatively impacts efficiency. I'd talk to HR. That should fix it in a quick second.


I would also remind her that the workplace is an environment to act professionally in, and it isn't high school.

100% agree. It's borderline harassment. If she doesn't stop after you've told her so, go to HR or supervisor. It sucks, but you're in a work environment, not on the

---

playground.

Antlady69

It sucks having a colleague like that. You could return that treatment, though:

Let's say she's waving some soda in your face again while you're sticking to water (or she's eating a doughnut while you're feasting on a salad - you get the point).

When she starts teasing you again, saying something to the effect of "oh, just one can of soda (one doughnut) won't hurt you, go on, you know you want to", you can in turn say "No, thank you. You might be losing all that weight with your sodas (doughnuts), but I'm going the healthy route and am trying to avoid unhealthy foods as much as possible. Are YOU healthy?"

This question at the end will put her in a position of having to justify herself. And that's not as easy as it sounds (I dare say it's kinda cruel but she's cruel to you, too). Always try to ask a question at the end that forces her to justify herself. She will hopefully get tired of this real soon and leave you alone, for fear of having to justify herself again and again.

There is one caveat, though: if your colleagues catch you eating something unhealthy, they might make fun of you. That's why you read the "TRYING TO AVOID ... as much as possible" in my suggested reply to your colleague. This will take the wind out of their sail but they will probably still try to pull you up on that one.

klcpearce

I don't know of any work place that endorses one employee or a group of them making it an unwelcoming or unpleasant atmosphere for another employee, particularly when it negatively impacts efficiency. I'd talk to HR. That should fix it in a quick second.


I would also remind her that the workplace is an environment to act professionally in, and it isn't high school.

Right on. Work should be about work. I wonder if the supervisor/manager there is happy that employees are being paid to behave like school children. Be a professional. Stick to your personal support system - family and ACTUAL real friends (and support system here) and leave your coworkers to their own drama. This will get you farther in both your personal and professional pursuits.

musicrocks133

It sucks when others know you are trying to be healthy but they seem to make fun of it. At work we had a biggest loser contest and to make sure that no one brought in junk food while the competition was going on, we implemented a rule that said that whoever brought junk food had to pay $5 into the pot. Maybe you can suggest having a biggest loser contest and enforce the no junk food rule.

If this doesn't work, you should talk to HR.

sharon_moyer

My opinion is that you should go to management or HR and make them aware of this because it's actually harassment. No place that I've every worked at has put up with one employee harassing another, even if it's about their weight. If you company values you as an employee then they will reprimand the ones that are harassing you about your weight. You know you can do this and if you believe that you're doing the best that you can do than that's all that matters.

I believe in you and you can get through this!

Whipppets

just suck it up tell this chick that you are on your way to being super hot and she can go
fly a kite.. I cleaned it up.

retiree2006

Some good suggestions here. I'd add for you to silently tell yourself each time she eats and drinks junk in front of you, "Yep, you're going to be gaining the 10 lbs I'm going to lose!" And just look at her, shake your head, and smile...it will drive her nuts. When she can't get a rise out of you, she might give it up since it's no longer fun.

bmstee03

How exactly is she 'teasing you' by drinking soda in front of you?

happydaze71

God I just wanna punch her in the face! And then do it again for good measure...

You know how you fix this little problem?

You plan your meals, you know exactly what you are eating when, you plan your exercise and you treat it like an appointment you cant break.

You don't say a word about it at work, you just get on with it.

Then you know what you do?

You use her as your motivation to get lean and fit and show her how its done!

You keep your eyes on the prize hun, do not let this little weasel distract you, and when you allow yourself to be tempted you allow her to think you are a joke.

She is a moron... she isn't your friend, she's actually a horrible person.

Get angry. You are better than this piece of trash and YOU WILL REACH YOUR GOALS.

RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:devil:

unFATuated

this girl whose supposed to be my friend and is also using this site and just dropping weight but not showing it

So she says she's losing weight but you can't tell, is that what you meant?

She's clearly extremely insecure. She probably sees you doing what she feels she doesn't have the willpower or ability to do and it's killing her. But instead of jumping on your bandwagon she's trying to bring you down. Not to mention her rallying other people at work to tease you/mess with you. Not only is she not a friend, she's a bully. Report her to HR or someone you trust at work to nip it in the bud.

You have family support, which is awesome. Don't give that b---h the time of day, go out, join a gym or something and find some other people who are on the same journey as you and make them your friends.

chelseagirlfl

Some good suggestions here. I'd add for you to silently tell yourself each time she eats and drinks junk in front of you, "Yep, you're going to be gaining the 10 lbs I'm going to lose!" And just look at her, shake your head, and smile...it will drive her nuts. When she can't get a rise out of you, she might give it up since it's no longer fun.

fabulous!

spruitt417

So my sister is my biggest supporter right now, she's eighteen 5'6 and about 120 and super gorgeous but she works her *kitten* off to stay in shape and she has been really bringing me shopping and telling me what not to eat and refusing to let me spend my money on cookies and stuff. Then I get to work and this girl whose supposed to be my friend and is also using this site and just dropping weight but not showing it is constantly bringing over soda and drinking it teasingly in front of me. It makes it even harder to say no, and now she has other people at work doing it too, and they think it's all funny. I lost about five pounds before I even started using this site, and when I cut out the soda I felt ten times better about myself. Sure it's only been four days but I can already sleep better at night. It's so heart breaking to have to listen to her go on and on about her weight loss and how she's doing so good knowing that she's really shoving her face with the worst foods imaginable on most days (constantly going out for pizza and stuff) and to have her turn around and try and tease me with soda. I haven't even told her that I'm using this site even though we could have probably helped each other because I'm afraid she's just going to try and discourage me from what I'm doing. It sucks when you dont' have any friends who support what you're doing >.<

Your best "revenge" will be the results you achieve from not caving to their juvenile behavior! I work in an office where junk food should be declared a religion. It seems everyone wants to lose weight, but they never make the commitment & stick to it. Anything & everything are reasons to cheat. They're all looking for the quick fix. No one was interested in losing weight with me, but now that they see my results so far they keep asking what I'm doing. I just tell them I'm eating healthy & go about my business. I don't need them as part of my support system. I'm doing this for me & don't care what others may think.

Good luck to you! :drinker:

MaydayParadeGirl

Ah you guys are all awesome, ignoring that one person who didn't get it obviously, and I'm sorry I didn't respond back to this all earlier. I'm going to keep in mind talking to HR, but sort of on a back burner because I do worry since I'm only a temp at my job and she's been here a while that they might play favorites. Since I started my diet, which was before I started on here, I managed to lose seven pounds and I'm already feeling better about myself. She can say whatever she wants and I'm going to definatly take some of this into consideration!

noobletmcnugget

Just ignore her. She's probably just trying to put you down because she feels bad that she doesn't eat cleanly. Don't worry about anyone else - you know that you're making healthy choices.

marygee1951

Office games/politics - they drive me crazy!!

Stay strong and keep up the good work - and you'll contnue to lose weight -- that's the best solution to this problem. Personally, I wouldn't get HR involved - it could backfire on you. Drinking soda in front of you is childish - but I don't think it qualifies as harassment. Buy a new outfit and show it off at work, telling people you lost so much weight you had to buy something in a smaller size! Maybe your co-worker would like one of your old outfits that's too big for you now.

Keep coming here for support. The devil with your co-worker. :flowerforyou:

Coyoteldy

It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt...
Say nothing..literally to this person....keep it professional but if she says ANYTHING about the diet a polite I am not talking about my personal stuff..should shut her down. I have been through this at work..its tough but do this for you and don't look for support from people who clearly have issues they need to handle. you are taking care of you and should be proud!

chunkydunk714

It sucks when others know you are trying to be healthy but they seem to make fun of it. At work we had a biggest loser contest and to make sure that no one brought in junk food while the competition was going on, we implemented a rule that said that whoever brought junk food had to pay $5 into the pot. Maybe you can suggest having a biggest loser contest and enforce the no junk food rule.

If this doesn't work, you should talk to HR.

We have contests like that all the time at work....i LOVE that rule! Totally going to copy that next time.

Oh, and OP....just try your best to ignore them. In the end you will have the last laugh!