Hubby still finds me sexy, I don't get it...

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Sandytoes71
Sandytoes71 Posts: 463 Member
in Motivation and Support
I don't get it because I'm still overweight....by alot (eek)! So, anyway I bit the bullet today and bought some reeaalllyyy short pajama shorts and shirts to go with them. Gonna surprise him tonight. He's always wanting me to buy teeny shorts because he loves my legs (again,I don't get it) and derriere. Don't get wrong, I love him for it but I just don't understand how he can find a thin woman sexy and at the same time, find me pretty. But as I think about it, I find him sexy too and hes overweight. I guess I just really have a hard time seeing myself as pretty so I find it hard that he would think so. Anyone have similar experiences with their spouse/partner? Or maybe their spouse/partner behaves the opposite? Any thoughts :) ?
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Replies

  • mygrl4meee
    mygrl4meee Posts: 943 Member
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    That is cute!! Would you rather he say mean things about how you look? It takes a long time for self esteem to recover if your guy says mean things about weight even if its true and needed to be said. Not that it would jump start weight loss.
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
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    Sexy is about so much more than weight/looks.

    Good on you for buying the pjs confidence is super sexy... so be confident about your ability to turn him on. Enjoy it! (and you can always log the exercise calories if you want ;-)
  • jenillawafer
    jenillawafer Posts: 426 Member
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    Be thankful that you have someone that loves you regardless of your size.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    So you don't understand why the man who married you finds you sexy? Did you ask him? You should then listen to him. I think the only person you need to question is yourself.
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
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    So you don't understand why the man who married you finds you sexy? Did you ask him? You should then listen to him. I think the only person you need to question is yourself.
    ^This
  • purpleipod
    purpleipod Posts: 1,147 Member
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    Are men not allowed to find more than one body type sexy? You have no reason to assume just because he finds thin women sexy that he wouldn't find you sexy as well. He married you, I doubt he would have if he weren't attracted to you.
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
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    MY boyfriend does the same (I'm not saying I'm seriously overweight).

    But even when I am bloated, my hair is up, make-up is off, and i'm in sweats having a cheat day pigging out, he reminds me that's i'm so beautiful. And I look at him and stare and say "shut the hell up, no i'm not"

    I told him my goal was to get into a bikini. He has seen me in one ONCE (and I was very uncomfortable with it). He's all "let's start working out, let's get healthy" and I'm all" you just want to see me in that damn bikini..."

    I know where you are coming from. I find it hard to believe too. But I just go with the flow and if whatever I do makes him happy and he thinks me in my sweats is beautiful, then ok. I've gotten better at taking the compliment. I may not understand it, but I must be doing something right.

    PS - you ARE PRETTY! I can see your photo! He loves you for you, that should be enough, even if you don't see it. I don't see it in me either, but others do, so I guess I have to go with it.
  • SocialSocks
    SocialSocks Posts: 9
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    I can only speak for myself, but when I love somebody all my mind really registers is every beautiful quality (physical and otherwise) that they possess. It filters out the rest. Stop fretting and questioning and just enjoy it.
  • 257_Lag
    257_Lag Posts: 1,249 Member
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    He loves YOU! How cool :)
  • SarahSmilesCA
    SarahSmilesCA Posts: 261 Member
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    He finds you sexy because he loves you...even for men it is not all about looks, they are emotional creatures too.

    Dress up and knock his socks off girl (and everything else too...)

    You will have extra calories burned to log later on MFP

    ;)
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    So you don't understand why the man who married you finds you sexy? Did you ask him? You should then listen to him. I think the only person you need to question is yourself.

    Perfectly said.

    And don't keep saying bad things about yourself to him. Not only are you insulting the woman he loves, but eventually he may start seeing you the way you see yourself. Try to change the way you see yourself to how he sees you, not the other way around. Trust me on that.
  • luly727
    luly727 Posts: 202 Member
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    Thats great that he says those things and makes you feel special..take it from me, on the total opposite side. You are blessed! I lost 52 Lbs 2 years ago, and now am back again, gained 30 back :( No support , no compliments when I lost it, but now that Ive gained it back, Oh boy, I see that look on my husbands face, and rarely even get a hug..

    You are blessed!! Kiss yr hubby often and take the compliments :)
  • jazzkat68
    jazzkat68 Posts: 101 Member
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    My husband is the exact same way!! I've always been heavier than he is, but he still loves me...We were in the mall the other day and he tried to get me to go into Victoria Secret (Bahahahaha)...I said 'Honey, the only thing I can wear in there is the perfume"...lol...He, too, thinks thin women are sexy- he's an equal opportunist...lol..I often wonder why he likes my big ol' booty, but he does...we're lucky to have the husbands that we have! :)
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Are men not allowed to find more than one body type sexy? You have no reason to assume just because he finds thin women sexy that he wouldn't find you sexy as well. He married you, I doubt he would have if he weren't attracted to you.

    I agree.

    People can be attracted to a lot of different people. I'm attracted to men and women and all different body types.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    My fiance is primarily attracted to blondes and starlets.
    Somehow he loves me and finds me sexy and beautiful.

    I'll take it.

    Embrace what he finds sexy in you, show it. He'll find you even sexier.
    The more you embrace it, the sexier you'll be!
  • evansproudmama
    evansproudmama Posts: 496
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    Be happy that means your man truly loves you!! My husband loved me and was hot for me at 210 lbs just as he is now that I am down to 158 it's like he never ever saw the weight and I love that because it means that he truly loves me and thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. It kind of sucks cause he doesn't to much notice the weight loss except when we are in intimate positions of course hehe but who cares he loves me and thinks I'm gorgeous what else can a woman ask for!! :heart: Now put on those seksie short shorts and give your man what he wants girl!!:tongue::love: I know from experience even when I was heavy and didnt feel confident he wanted me to wear lingerie and thought I looked hot still praise jesus lol
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
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    Maybe you husband just loves you enough that he can be sexually attracted to you no matter what your body looks like? And you can find more than one body type attractive, it's not an all or nothing thing.

    Take the compliment. You have a guy who genuinely loves you (which a lot of women don't) and he thinks your super sexy. Embrace that sexiness and run with it.
  • bcd2007
    bcd2007 Posts: 12 Member
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    I understand where you are coming from, but you are pretty and obviously blessed with a loving and kind man... I say rock his world in those sexy pjs!
  • CrazyC
    CrazyC Posts: 284 Member
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    Be happy that means your man truly loves you!! My husband loved me and was hot for me at 210 lbs just as he is now that I am down to 158 it's like he never ever saw the weight and I love that because it means that he truly loves me and thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. It kind of sucks cause he doesn't to much notice the weight loss except when we are in intimate positions of course hehe but who cares he loves me and thinks I'm gorgeous what else can a woman ask for!! :heart: Now put on those seksie short shorts and give your man what he wants girl!!:tongue::love: I know from experience even when I was heavy and didnt feel confident he wanted me to wear lingerie and thought I looked hot still praise jesus lol

    THIS!!! My hubby is the same way... Thank God... It's TRUE LOVE when they love you just the way you are... Be grateful and appreciate your hubby and more importantly yourself... From your pic, you look beautiful, start believing in yourself... I am also trying desperately to heed to my own advice, sometimes it's hard... :heart:
  • Josalinn
    Josalinn Posts: 1,066 Member
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    My BF is the same way. I think it has more to do with my own self esteem than not believing him. Gotta find yourself sexy first before you can accept his praise. And I know that is hard, from personal experience....

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