Hubby still finds me sexy, I don't get it...
Sandytoes71
Posts: 463 Member
I don't get it because I'm still overweight....by alot (eek)! So, anyway I bit the bullet today and bought some reeaalllyyy short pajama shorts and shirts to go with them. Gonna surprise him tonight. He's always wanting me to buy teeny shorts because he loves my legs (again,I don't get it) and derriere. Don't get wrong, I love him for it but I just don't understand how he can find a thin woman sexy and at the same time, find me pretty. But as I think about it, I find him sexy too and hes overweight. I guess I just really have a hard time seeing myself as pretty so I find it hard that he would think so. Anyone have similar experiences with their spouse/partner? Or maybe their spouse/partner behaves the opposite? Any thoughts 
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Replies
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That is cute!! Would you rather he say mean things about how you look? It takes a long time for self esteem to recover if your guy says mean things about weight even if its true and needed to be said. Not that it would jump start weight loss.0
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Sexy is about so much more than weight/looks.
Good on you for buying the pjs confidence is super sexy... so be confident about your ability to turn him on. Enjoy it! (and you can always log the exercise calories if you want ;-)0 -
Be thankful that you have someone that loves you regardless of your size.0
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So you don't understand why the man who married you finds you sexy? Did you ask him? You should then listen to him. I think the only person you need to question is yourself.0
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^ThisSo you don't understand why the man who married you finds you sexy? Did you ask him? You should then listen to him. I think the only person you need to question is yourself.0 -
Are men not allowed to find more than one body type sexy? You have no reason to assume just because he finds thin women sexy that he wouldn't find you sexy as well. He married you, I doubt he would have if he weren't attracted to you.0
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MY boyfriend does the same (I'm not saying I'm seriously overweight).
But even when I am bloated, my hair is up, make-up is off, and i'm in sweats having a cheat day pigging out, he reminds me that's i'm so beautiful. And I look at him and stare and say "shut the hell up, no i'm not"
I told him my goal was to get into a bikini. He has seen me in one ONCE (and I was very uncomfortable with it). He's all "let's start working out, let's get healthy" and I'm all" you just want to see me in that damn bikini..."
I know where you are coming from. I find it hard to believe too. But I just go with the flow and if whatever I do makes him happy and he thinks me in my sweats is beautiful, then ok. I've gotten better at taking the compliment. I may not understand it, but I must be doing something right.
PS - you ARE PRETTY! I can see your photo! He loves you for you, that should be enough, even if you don't see it. I don't see it in me either, but others do, so I guess I have to go with it.0 -
I can only speak for myself, but when I love somebody all my mind really registers is every beautiful quality (physical and otherwise) that they possess. It filters out the rest. Stop fretting and questioning and just enjoy it.0
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He loves YOU! How cool 0
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He finds you sexy because he loves you...even for men it is not all about looks, they are emotional creatures too.
Dress up and knock his socks off girl (and everything else too...)
You will have extra calories burned to log later on MFP
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So you don't understand why the man who married you finds you sexy? Did you ask him? You should then listen to him. I think the only person you need to question is yourself.
Perfectly said.
And don't keep saying bad things about yourself to him. Not only are you insulting the woman he loves, but eventually he may start seeing you the way you see yourself. Try to change the way you see yourself to how he sees you, not the other way around. Trust me on that.0 -
Thats great that he says those things and makes you feel special..take it from me, on the total opposite side. You are blessed! I lost 52 Lbs 2 years ago, and now am back again, gained 30 back
No support , no compliments when I lost it, but now that Ive gained it back, Oh boy, I see that look on my husbands face, and rarely even get a hug..
You are blessed!! Kiss yr hubby often and take the compliments 0 -
My husband is the exact same way!! I've always been heavier than he is, but he still loves me...We were in the mall the other day and he tried to get me to go into Victoria Secret (Bahahahaha)...I said 'Honey, the only thing I can wear in there is the perfume"...lol...He, too, thinks thin women are sexy- he's an equal opportunist...lol..I often wonder why he likes my big ol' booty, but he does...we're lucky to have the husbands that we have! 0
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Are men not allowed to find more than one body type sexy? You have no reason to assume just because he finds thin women sexy that he wouldn't find you sexy as well. He married you, I doubt he would have if he weren't attracted to you.
I agree.
People can be attracted to a lot of different people. I'm attracted to men and women and all different body types.0 -
My fiance is primarily attracted to blondes and starlets.
Somehow he loves me and finds me sexy and beautiful.
I'll take it.
Embrace what he finds sexy in you, show it. He'll find you even sexier.
The more you embrace it, the sexier you'll be!0 -
Be happy that means your man truly loves you!! My husband loved me and was hot for me at 210 lbs just as he is now that I am down to 158 it's like he never ever saw the weight and I love that because it means that he truly loves me and thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. It kind of sucks cause he doesn't to much notice the weight loss except when we are in intimate positions of course hehe but who cares he loves me and thinks I'm gorgeous what else can a woman ask for!!
Now put on those seksie short shorts and give your man what he wants girl!!
I know from experience even when I was heavy and didnt feel confident he wanted me to wear lingerie and thought I looked hot still praise jesus lol 0 -
Maybe you husband just loves you enough that he can be sexually attracted to you no matter what your body looks like? And you can find more than one body type attractive, it's not an all or nothing thing.
Take the compliment. You have a guy who genuinely loves you (which a lot of women don't) and he thinks your super sexy. Embrace that sexiness and run with it.0 -
I understand where you are coming from, but you are pretty and obviously blessed with a loving and kind man... I say rock his world in those sexy pjs!0
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Be happy that means your man truly loves you!! My husband loved me and was hot for me at 210 lbs just as he is now that I am down to 158 it's like he never ever saw the weight and I love that because it means that he truly loves me and thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. It kind of sucks cause he doesn't to much notice the weight loss except when we are in intimate positions of course hehe but who cares he loves me and thinks I'm gorgeous what else can a woman ask for!! Now put on those seksie short shorts and give your man what he wants girl!! I know from experience even when I was heavy and didnt feel confident he wanted me to wear lingerie and thought I looked hot still praise jesus lol
THIS!!! My hubby is the same way... Thank God... It's TRUE LOVE when they love you just the way you are... Be grateful and appreciate your hubby and more importantly yourself... From your pic, you look beautiful, start believing in yourself... I am also trying desperately to heed to my own advice, sometimes it's hard... 0 -
My BF is the same way. I think it has more to do with my own self esteem than not believing him. Gotta find yourself sexy first before you can accept his praise. And I know that is hard, from personal experience....0
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I think it's quite common for us to judge ourselves the most harshly, and to hold unrealistic standards of ourselves and our appearances. Sadly, it's understandable with the images thrown at us everyday.
I agree with the advice here, although I'm such a hypocrite, since I have always thought along the same lines as you ><0 -
As a man who is married to a larger woman I can say of course he finds you sexy.
As a man is see that there are a lot of women in the world who are good looking and sexy.
As a husband there is only one woman who is worthy of my affection. That woman would be my wife and mother of my child. Sounds like your husband feels the same way.0 -
THIS IS SO TRUEEEEE. If a person hears something enough, they must start to believe it! Love yourself and love him... enjoy his encouragement!0
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I feel that way about anyone who has something nice to say to me, lol! I do NOT know how to take a compliment at all. But it was the cause of my fiance and I to break up, because I could never let him see me completely nude, even after being together over 6 years, out of fear he would find my disguisting (my stomach ...even though now I realize he never thought that, just I did.)
Just listen to the compliments he gives you and embrace them as being true!! We judge ourselves much harder than anyone else ever would!! Rock you short shorts with confidence and he will definitely find you sexy!! :flowerforyou:0 -
My husband loved my figure no matter how fat or thin I was and I've gone up and down many times. We are lucky to have such men. Some are horrible expecting a perfect in their eyes woman and life isn't like that.. we change when we have children or life throws things at us. They should be loving us for what is inside anyway not just what they see with their eyes.0
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Hubby should love you through thick and thin.0
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My husband is the same way......and while I adore him for loving me now matter what, I don't understand it either. That, however, is due to my own self-esteem issues....not because I think he's nuts.
I grew up being told by my father that I was fat and ugly and stupid. That I'd never find anyone dumb enough to marry me. That I'd never have kids because nobody would ever be dumb enough to have kids with me. And those were the nice things he said to me. Because I heard that for a good 15 years of my life, it diminished any self-esteem I had.
I have been with my husband since 1992. It has taken me until the last couple of years (and some damn good therapy sessions) for me to stop saying "oh shut up, you're blind" after he'd tell me I'm beautiful. Now I smile and say thank you. I may not get it...but again, that's my self-esteem talking. My husband has never made a negative remark about my size and he never will. He loves me no matter what and that's pretty freakin' awesome.0 -
When I met my husband, I was a petite little thing, with lots of muscles. My body is just built that way. Over the years, I have gotten quite fat. As long as he has known me, I have also been completely covered in hair due to extreme PCOS.
No matter what, he has always been attracted to me. I don't get it either.
I guess that's one of life's little mysteries, and we should be grateful. They see our beauty even when we can't. That's pretty damned special if you ask me. :-)0 -
Thank u for all of your responses I see im not the only one. Dont get me wrong though. I am extremely grateful that hubby thinks this way and I do know that it is my low self-esteem that causes my confusion. Soooooo...I have the shorts on now and im trying to be comfortable with some of my @ss hanging out lol! Hubby likey 0
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This is a great response. Sometimes the simple things we forget, like ASKING if we don't know. You want to get healthy and get in better shape and that's admirable, but you both LOVE each other. Cound your blessings. And in your pic you look very pretty. You still love him and find him attractive, so you are both good poeple who really know the true meaning of love. I undersand you not believing he could find you sexy, you don't feel it, but don't tell him that - put it in on a positive light and be h Doappy about it. Isn't it funny how the humand mind works? Good luck to you and count your blessings for your husband. Mine is leaving me after 22 years because I have health issues, how bad is that. Anyway, I'm happy for you. DonnaSo you don't understand why the man who married you finds you sexy? Did you ask him? You should then listen to him. I think the only person you need to question is yourself.0
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