Hubby still finds me sexy, I don't get it...
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I know what you are saying.
My boyfriend finds me sexy (we started dating prior to me losing weight, actually) and it just surprises me that hes attracted to me like that when most of the time I feel like a fatso. But I love that he thinks that way about me and helps me make me feel a wholeeeeeee lot better about myself0 -
This is a great response. Sometimes the simple things we forget, like ASKING if we don't know. You want to get healthy and get in better shape and that's admirable, but you both LOVE each other. Cound your blessings. And in your pic you look very pretty. You still love him and find him attractive, so you are both good poeple who really know the true meaning of love. I undersand you not believing he could find you sexy, you don't feel it, but don't tell him that - put it in on a positive light and be h Doappy about it. Isn't it funny how the humand mind works? Good luck to you and count your blessings for your husband. Mine is leaving me after 22 years because I have health issues, how bad is that. Anyway, I'm happy for you. DonnaSo you don't understand why the man who married you finds you sexy? Did you ask him? You should then listen to him. I think the only person you need to question is yourself.
We got married almost 24 yrs ago and I was a lot thinner so thats why im having difficulty understanding or accepting it now. But im working on it, hence the shorts lol.
Im really sorry to hear about your situation. My heart goes out to you. I pray all works out for the best for u. God bless!!0 -
Sexy is about so much more than weight/looks
^^^^^^this, a husband should find all of you sexy and it should have nothing to do with looks. He loves you for your heart, and your mind as well. And who you are is all the sexy he needs!0 -
Just accept the fact that you are sexy and get on with it.0
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My boyfriend of three years has never seen me this small, but saw me at my highest weight (that I know of I think it might have been higher at some point). I think it is all about confidence and self-esteem. Before I hit my highest weight and before last September I was bigger than I am now but I was ok with it, I was happy and confident. My weight and my confidence issues went hand it hand.
I feel like he is as attracted to me as he was in September... but that things changed at Christmas. During Christmas he would always tell me he loved me and that he still found me sexy but I couldn't feel it- and so didn't act that way.
I don't think you should be surprised, if you are feeling like you're doing something to help yourself then you are probably in a much better place mentally... which is what I found. When I was in a better place it really influenced various areas around me!0 -
Just accept the fact that you are sexy and get on with it.
Yes ma'am
) 0 -
This is my husband and I don't understand it myself. I am thankful because if only all women had this problem, what a better world we would live in, but I am my own worst critic.0
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The only advice I have for you is this: Believe him. Don't question it. Just believe what he says. I made the mistake of not believing my fiancé when he said he still found me attractive with 30 extra pounds. I felt like crap about myself so I thought he was just telling me what I wanted to hear. I allowed myself to pile on 40 MORE pounds. I was just unhappy and unmotivated. At that point I asked him what he thought and he was brutally honest. I realized then that he really did find me attractive with the 30 extra pounds because he would've told me otherwise. I know it's hard. It's tough to see past the way you feel about yourself, but being insecure with your partner can cause a lot of unnecessary issues.
Sorry this is long! I just learned a VERY valuable lesson (the hard way) and I hope you are able to be free with your husband who clearly loves you. I'm sure seeing you relaxed and confident would mean a lot to him.0 -
un conditional love0
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My fiance is primarily attracted to blondes and starlets.
Somehow he loves me and finds me sexy and beautiful.
I'll take it.
Embrace what he finds sexy in you, show it. He'll find you even sexier.
The more you embrace it, the sexier you'll be!
Yeah my boyfriend thinks small, bubbly, blonde, and professional looking women are hot.
But yet he still finds me hot.
Sexy is so much more than what you you look like. GO with it and love it. You said yourself he himself is overweight yet you still think he's attractive right?0 -
I think personality also plays a lot on attractiveness. For example, I could find someone attractive, but If I then get to know them and they are really kind, funny, interesting - this would make them about 495767385 times more attractive than what I first thought. Just roll with it, you're lucky to have found someone who loves you, for you
(Edited because I'm a really bad speller, haha).0 -
Sexy is an attitude more so than being just physical. I met my b/f when I was 180 pounds... he was always telling me how sexy I was. When I hit 210, he was still telling me the same thing. You got it, girl! And you got yourself a terrific guy for seeing it.0
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Be happy. I have the opposite here.0
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That's awesome!
Having been married 17 years myself, I can say that all my wife has to do is "snap her fingers" and I'm ready for whatever she wants. I know alot of times "she" is very self-concious...it's got to be a woman thing, cause there is nothing she could really do that would make me stop finding her attractive. I never see anything when I look at her but the greatest, sexiest, most nurturing thing I've ever met.
And I know that will never change! Be good to him girl, cause he is absolutely good to you!0 -
He loves you and loves you no matter what. He's probably more attracted to the new light inside of you, something happens with each pound you shed. You're lucky 0
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You are very fortunate to have a man like that! I have no idea when my husband last told me I was beautiful, hot or sexy...anything along those lines. I know it's been several years! Quite frankly, I don't think he's the least bit attracted to me anymore. I was very thin when we met and I guess he's just not into big girls. The ironic part is he's even bigger than I am.
Hold on tight to your man!!0 -
And don't keep saying bad things about yourself to him. Not only are you insulting the woman he loves, but eventually he may start seeing you the way you see yourself. Try to change the way you see yourself to how he sees you, not the other way around. Trust me on that.
I haven't read the whole thread, so I don't know if this has been said already, but in addition to insulting the woman he loves, you're also in a sense insulting him. When he gives you compliments and tells you that you are sexy and attractive and you won't believe him, you are essentially accusing him of lying to you. (Or at the very least of being stupid and/or lacking in taste.)
Allow yourself to consider the possibility that your husband is being honest and means what he says to you.
If your guy didn't think you were superior to all other women out there he would be married to one of them instead of to you. The next time he gives you a compliment, give him one of those saucy smiles, strike a pose, and say, "Why, thank you. Please, go on..." 0 -
All this tells me, is that like most women, you hate how you look, so instead of feeling special and adored, you must convince him you're not that great.
Take the compliments, take the adoration and the love. There are people in this world with none of the above who would die to have a man worship them like this.
Now that I've told you off.... make his night tonight and make yourself understand that you are a beautiful sexy woman who deserves the best in life! :blushing:0 -
There's actually and overweight girl that I have been chatting with daily. And I finder her incredibly attractive. At the end of the day, it's HER that makes the rest of her irresistible. 0
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My hubby and I met when I was 290 (10 years ago now). He said he found me beautiful, but didn't I want to be thin (translation: healthy)? As we, er, got it on so to speak when I was about that weight, clearly he found me attractive. I didn't get it then and still don't get it now.
He was there as I lost 90 pounds and was thrilled for me (and I turned smokin' hot even at 199with 25 pounds to go).
He's been there and never looked away as I gained it all back, though the pressure increased to get health, esp. after I got pregnant with our twins (now two).
And he's right there by my side now as I shed the weight for the second (and final) time.
I will never understand why he loves me, but I know he does and I know it's not just because I'm slender (though the fact that I'm really bendy even at this size probably doesn't hurt).0 -
My Fiance still thinks I'm sexy and I have gained close to 100lbs since we met!
Granted I am busting *kitten* to lose it, but he says it doenst matter to him, he loves me just the same!0 -
My husband does too, even though I am not at all pleased with what I look like. Since I met him in 1995, I've gained 100 lbs. and he's loved me every pound of it. When I ask him how he can find me sexy as well as someone who has a perfect body, he says its because there is more to me than my appearance. This weight loss journey is about me learning to love myself. When I do that, I know I can love others 10 times more.0
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I met my husband when I was 15 and 150lbs.
When I was at my highest about 3 years ago I was 338.
Currently 230lbs.
He has been stuck to me like glue through it all.
Enjoy it, it is a wonderful thing to have a person love you for you. For me sexy is very much in the mind. If a person is intelligent and witty it's a def. panty dropper; no matter gender/weight/ so on.
Here's to love :flowerforyou:0 -
I have gained 70lbs since I met my husband almost 10 years ago. He still thinks I am sexy or he at leasts puts on a good act. Lol.0
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Sounds like he loves you for who you are and where you're at. He's a good man.0
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A very special man in my life once told me to let him be my mirror. I try to remember that. See yourself reflected in his eyes, it's a heady experience.0
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The actress Raquel Welch once said that the greatest erogenous zone is the brain. As others have said, there's more to love and even sexual attraction than what you look like. Good thing, too- I'm 60 and have grey hair and wear glasses. My husband is 74, Neither of us would get a second look from the salespeople at A+F, but the physical side of our relationship is still wonderful.
Be happy that your husband loves you even though you're not perfect.0 -
A very special man in my life once told me to let him be my mirror. I try to remember that. See yourself reflected in his eyes, it's a heady experience.
That's great advice!
This reminds me of the new Justin Timberlake song.0 -
I have the same issue with mine, and he sabotages me at every turn, I think he wants me to stay as I am.0
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Wow, that's some powerful stuff!!0
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