Your experiences with demotivators.

xoTalim

So, so far I've had no sort of negative comments about my weight loss. My family has been really supportive and compliments me quite often. As do my friends and extended family.

However the other day, for the first time since, like, high school, I was made fun of for my weight. And not by someone I know. Just some random passerby on the street. Looked at me, then to his friend and said "look at that fat girl." Then told me to go lose some weight. It really hurt to hear that, just cause I hadn't experienced that kind of name calling in years.

So, what kind of experiences have you had with demotivators, and how do you deal with them?

dixiewhiskey

I pretty much see it everyday, particularly on the forums but if it occurs in real life, I deal with those people who do that by ignoring them. Especially if they are strangers.. what are the chances that those a-holes are going to cross paths with you again? You have to kind of look at it like that.. love yourself first and know that you are beautiful and working hard to be healthy and happy with yourself.

Your family and friends sound like they have been supportive so whatever you are doing is working.

Lame answer I know but that's the best way I can explain..

xoTalim

I pretty much see it everyday, particularly on the forums but if it occurs in real life, I deal with those people who do that by ignoring them. Especially if they are strangers.. what are the chances that those a-holes are going to cross paths with you again? You have to kind of look at it like that.. love yourself first and know that you are beautiful and working hard to be healthy and happy with yourself.

Your family and friends sound like they have been supportive so whatever you are doing is working.

Lame answer I know but that's the best way I can explain..

Not a lame answer at all. You're right, I'll likely never see that guy again. It was just hurtful and discouraging.

xoTalim

Anyone who acts that immature obviously has some sort of inferiority complex. He points out other people's issues to keep people from noticing his own. Just ignore these people or thank them sweetly for their concern, hope they resolve their own issues, and move on with your life. You are obviously doing a wonderful thing for yourself you shouldn't let the occasional hater bring you down. Congrats on your accomplishments.

Thanks a lot.

jennifer_417

You should have told him that he should take some lessons in not being a douche bag.

MyChocolateDiet

This is so weird. I never heard or saw someone do something like this to a total stranger. Are you sure he was talking about you? Was there some interaction beforehand?

organic0gf

I've had that type of thing happen to me as well. Out of the blue, someone you have never seen before says something rude about your appearance. To avoid appearing defensive in addition to being fat, I just totally ignore them.

ChapinaGrande

I usually ignore it, but if I've got my fighting britches on, I turn toward them, look them deeply in the eye, fill my face with concern for another human, and say, "You must be a very unhappy person to speak to a stranger that way. I'm so sorry. I hope one day, you can find some peace within yourself."

*kitten*.

zyxst

I flip them off and tell them to go f*** themselves. If it happens somewhere that being vulgar is frowned on, I get in their face(s) and belittle them for being mental doorknobs.

JenAndSome

I can't imagine anyone actually saying that. That's mind blowing to me. I don't know how I would actually handle it in that situation, but what I would want to do is just call them and A**hole. I mean, really. Just look them in the eye and say, "You don't know me and I don't know you, but I know you are and A**hole." I bet that boy had never had anyone stand up to him before.

jamiek917

even when i was a lil chubbier, ive never experienced any negative comments-- i guess im thankful to have wonderful people in my life and have been lucky to not meet a *kitten* like that on the street. im a bit more confrontational than just ignoring that kind of comment-- i probably would have cursed that person out, or possibly slapped them.

xoTalim

This is so weird. I never heard or saw someone do something like this to a total stranger. Are you sure he was talking about you? Was there some interaction beforehand?

Not at all. I was just passing by him at the train station.

TheBaileyHunter

I usually ignore it, but if I've got my fighting britches on, I turn toward them, look them deeply in the eye, fill my face with concern for another human, and say, "You must be a very unhappy person to speak to a stranger that way. I'm so sorry. I hope one day, you can find some peace within yourself."

*kitten*.

I LOVE this response. :flowerforyou:

In truth it is absolutely the truth. They must be very afraid in their own skin to need to demoralize stranger to feel better about themselves.

I was so grateful to get out of school and become an adult so I could get away from that sort of daily barrage. It still happens but very rarely now. Usually it's more a backhanded compliment of 'you have such a pretty face, you'd be a knock out if you were thinner'

RiesigJay

Don't worry about it.

Picture this:

30 years from now you'll be in good shape. You've lost all the weight you've wanted to lose and you know what it took to do it. Not only that, but you did it. You know how to, and take precautions to prevent excessive fat gain. You live a long and healthy life.

30 years from now those *kitten* "bros" will be fat with nice round beer guts. Their (likely) sole motivation to be in shape (chicks, of course) will be gone (married, impotent, or both) and they won't care how they look. In 20 more years they'll be suffering from at least 1 life-altering health problem.

That's how I'd look at it.

Mmmmona

I may be fat but I'm losing weight. You're always going to be an ignorant POS.

alliepallie89

Wow, that's awful that someone would say something like that. It's completely unwarranted. Obviously the person who said it has some major issues of their own. Otherwise he wouldn't have felt the need to say anything. Unfortunately, people will lash out for whatever reason.

In my own experience, my dad always is critical of my weight. He has told me that I have "blown up" and when I'm on the exercise bike at home he always says that I don't have it on a high enough level. The reason I share this is because my dad is a very unhappy person and only unhappy people will feel the need to criticize others.

As others in this thread have pointed out, people who feel the need to make nasty comments like that are feeling insecure (in some way) themselves. All you can do is use it hold your head high and know that you are making an effort to change your life and make healthier choices for the long term. In fact, when you get really pissed off, it's a great time to go for a run, or go to the gym and burn off some steam! You can use it (in a way) as motivation to prove that person wrong.

I hope this helps and makes some sense. Keep up the good work and don't let the haters get you down

xoTalim

In fact, when you get really pissed off, it's a great time to go for a run, or go to the gym and burn off some steam! You can use it (in a way) as motivation to prove that person wrong.

While this is true, I don't want people to think I'm losing weight because of them. Like, my uncle used to tell me all the time I need to lose weight, and now that I am, I'm worried he's gunna be all "oh good, you're losing weight because of me, right? If it wasn't for me telling you to, you probably wouldn't have." I want people to know that I'm doing this for ME, not to think that because ONE time they told me to lose weight, that when I finally get around to it, it's all thanks to them.

weevil66

Balls to them. Some people are just jerks. One of the things that was told to me was by a seamstress. She told me to lose weight instead of getting my wedding dress (which by the way was my mother's dress) altered. The dress fit before the cleaners shrank it so it isn't as if I had put on weight since before it was cleaned.

iWaffle

Your experiences with demotivators

I try to use the Patronuses charm on them. Just think of something happy to resist their soul sucking presence.

brower47

I would follow them home and then poop in their toilet tank. But seriously, just remind yourself over and over again that you're doing the right thing because you are.

bettyann55

In fact, when you get really pissed off, it's a great time to go for a run, or go to the gym and burn off some steam! You can use it (in a way) as motivation to prove that person wrong.

While this is true, I don't want people to think I'm losing weight because of them. Like, my uncle used to tell me all the time I need to lose weight, and now that I am, I'm worried he's gunna be all "oh good, you're losing weight because of me, right? If it wasn't for me telling you to, you probably wouldn't have." I want people to know that I'm doing this for ME, not to think that because ONE time they told me to lose weight, that when I finally get around to it, it's all thanks to them.

I would not assume to think what your uncle may feel when you have lost some weight. I am sure he will be happy for you and not say what you may be thinking he will say.
If you are truly doing it for you them stick to it and not assume what other will think or say in a negative way. Good luck.

kekeleeks

What a prick!!! I've never had anyone call me out like that but like some of the others on here, I agree that this person must be pretty unhappy with themselves. And I bet they saw you all smiling and ish because you are feeling good about yourself, and they just could not stand to see another person so damn happy! Just rude.

Anyway, I remember riding this blog/article about a year or two ago ( I wish I could remember where I read it but it's very foggy). The writer had experienced something similar and her response was to yell back at them "I KNOW, RIGHT?!?" like the harasser just gave her a big compliment. She described the harasser as being pretty dumb-founded by her response because not only did she agree but agreed with a smile! And that just always stuck with me for some reason.

I think in moments like this you have to ignore those a-holes. They are just there to test you and get you off track because mess like that is very painful and hurtful. Sit with the pain if you need to, cry it out if you need to but don't wallow in that space for too long. Re-focus on your goals and the reasons you haven chosen to change your lifestyle and what matters the most to you.

Haters Always GONNA HATE!

nikilis

So, so far I've had no sort of negative comments about my weight loss. My family has been really supportive and compliments me quite often. As do my friends and extended family.

However the other day, for the first time since, like, high school, I was made fun of for my weight. And not by someone I know. Just some random passerby on the street. Looked at me, then to his friend and said "look at that fat girl." Then told me to go lose some weight. It really hurt to hear that, just cause I hadn't experienced that kind of name calling in years.

So, what kind of experiences have you had with demotivators, and how do you deal with them?

don't take it too hard, he's probably just trying to impress his friend because of his feelings of inadequacy relating to his private parts.

kekeleeks

And you have lost 56lbs? Dude ... eff that phucker.

genofreek

I've heard a lot of stories about *kitten* strangers, painfully honest children, or jealous friends and family, but I've been pretty lucky. Except for an old man calling me 'fleshy' not that long ago I've had nothing but support. Just keep in mind that these people calling names have no idea who you are, where you come from, or what sort of decisions and changes you've made. They made a childish snap judgment, and the people who do that aren't even worth the time you were upset about it.

Best thing to do, if you healthily can, is remember how you felt today use that anger or sadness to drive yourself when you exercise. Don't let it fester, just use it while it hurts to motivate yourself harder than ever! And remember, you've already pushed this hard, dropped this much weight, and you already look pretty damn good. By my standards, you already won this one.

naturallyme36

On Friday I did not have a ride home from work (which is 2.7 miles away from my home) so I decided to skip the gym and walk home and use it as my exercise for the day. Half way there I thought hey i feel like jogging. So I did. As I'm (SLOWLY) jogging home some guy passes by in a car and yells to me "YOU GOTTA DO BETTER THAN THAT HONEY" and I yelled back to him "AT LEAST I'M DOING IT" but I felt so bad inside and I started to see myself as some fatty bouncing down the street. I don't want to stop my journey but I am loosing focus. I'm starting to feel like this is not for me and maybe I'm meant to be big. The calorie counting is driving me crazy and the WW point system seems to be a fake and fraud. I don't know about this anymore. Please help!

kindasortachewy

I was jogging about two weeks ago and i passed two guys on a track and a guy said to his friend 'I'm surprised she can lift those thunder thighs'

I thought about ignoring them, I really did, but I just couldn't. Obviously no one ever stands up to this d-bag and thats why he thinks he can get away with being so rude. I stopped and turned around and said "Do you feel better now? I should charge you $20 dollars an hour if you are going to use me as a therapy for whatever you are compensating for in your sad pathetic life, but this ones on me, glad I could be here to push down so you can feel better.'

He had nothing to say and left and I haven't seen him at the track again.

xoTalim

Your experiences with demotivators

I try to use the Patronuses charm on them. Just think of something happy to resist their soul sucking presence.

That's the best reply I've seen ever, omg. I love Harry Potter.

xoTalim

On Friday I did not have a ride home from work (which is 2.7 miles away from my home) so I decided to skip the gym and walk home and use it as my exercise for the day. Half way there I thought hey i feel like jogging. So I did. As I'm (SLOWLY) jogging home some guy passes by in a car and yells to me "YOU GOTTA DO BETTER THAN THAT HONEY" and I yelled back to him "AT LEAST I'M DOING IT" but I felt so bad inside and I started to see myself as some fatty bouncing down the street. I don't want to stop my journey but I am loosing focus. I'm starting to feel like this is not for me and maybe I'm meant to be big. The calorie counting is driving me crazy and the WW point system seems to be a fake and fraud. I don't know about this anymore. Please help!

Ugh I know that feeling. I hate jogging because I always worry people are gunna look at me and laugh because I look dumb doing it. Don't give up, you're doing great!

xoTalim

I was jogging about two weeks ago and i passed two guys on a track and a guy said to his friend 'I'm surprised she can lift those thunder thighs'

I thought about ignoring them, I really did, but I just couldn't. Obviously no one ever stands up to this d-bag and thats why he thinks he can get away with being so rude. I stopped and turned around and said "Do you feel better now? I should charge you $20 dollars an hour if you are going to use me as a therapy for whatever you are compensating for in your sad pathetic life, but this ones on me, glad I could be here to push down so you can feel better.'

He had nothing to say and left and I haven't seen him at the track again.

Hah, perfect response. What an idiot.

genofreek

On Friday I did not have a ride home from work (which is 2.7 miles away from my home) so I decided to skip the gym and walk home and use it as my exercise for the day. Half way there I thought hey i feel like jogging. So I did. As I'm (SLOWLY) jogging home some guy passes by in a car and yells to me "YOU GOTTA DO BETTER THAN THAT HONEY" and I yelled back to him "AT LEAST I'M DOING IT" but I felt so bad inside and I started to see myself as some fatty bouncing down the street. I don't want to stop my journey but I am loosing focus. I'm starting to feel like this is not for me and maybe I'm meant to be big. The calorie counting is driving me crazy and the WW point system seems to be a fake and fraud. I don't know about this anymore. Please help!

Man, forget that mess. Nobody in a car has any reason to yell at a lady on the street, especially not when she's working hard. He's a child, and you're better than that. You did something today, you've already lost 12 pounds, and that's already a hell of an accomplishment. Hell, you even got in a good comeback! I've never been as good with off-the-cuff responses. :P

Maybe the WW system isn't for you, but remember, this isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle change. It's all about finding the one you can maintain. Don't be afraid to experiment with different things, give new recipes a chance, try other exercise methods. If you slip up now and then, so what? Everyone does. Official plan or no, as long as you're eating at a caloric deficit, you will lose the weight. Don't let a bad comment from a stranger derail what you've started!

If you like chickpeas, maybe try hummus? It's very filling and eaten with wheat thins or triscuits, it only costs you as much as a light snack. I'm sure other people can offer way more suggestions; I'm only just getting started myself.