Your experiences with demotivators.
Replies
-
I haven't been called names since I was in elementary school but the other day as I was out with my daughter and my baby, a guy whom I can't stand drove by and yelled out "What's up fatty!?" Ohhhh I was so angry and I flipped the bird. He wad either seriously making a comment about my weight, or just talking sht to piss me off because we hate each other.
I posted about it here and with in half an hour I felt much better.
But to be honest. He lives close, so now I'm really nervous to stand outside and wait for my kids to get off the bus in case he drives by again and shouts something else embarrassing in front of the other parents. Even nervous about walking to the grocery store because we alwayd see him there too...ugh0 -
If only a Patronus spell could made these losers go away....
I've been catcalled by strangers a good number of times on the street - "Nutrisystem", "what a fat b**ch", etc. There is a reason why I do not ever exercise outside. The gym or home is safer.
No offense to those trying to smooth things over by saying these guys are douche bags are well intentioned but the hard truth is some people are awful. There is just as good of a chance they will go on to live great and rewarding lives. Not every a-hole is like Biff from Back to the Future.
The truth is that I don't rise above these awful comments by getting all Stuart Smalley - (I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog gonnit people like me) or thinking that the guy is a loser. Nope. The one memory that gets me past these horrible comments was when I was walking with a couple of girlfriends when I was in college. I was 160 lbs at the time. Some random guy yelled out a car window as he was driving by "The one in the pink is alright!". I was the one in pink. Out there is some guy whose rolling shout out (which he has likely long forgotten) still makes a positive impact.0 -
This is so weird. I never heard or saw someone do something like this to a total stranger. Are you sure he was talking about you? Was there some interaction beforehand?
Lucky you; must not be a lot of morons where you live.0 -
I try to use the Patronuses charm on them. Just think of something happy to resist their soul sucking presence.
The best part about Patronuses is that the demotivators never expectum.0 -
Thank you0
-
i never get these situations. i would love for reasons to unleash a can of verbal whoop *kitten* on someone making rude comments to me, but unfortunately i must give off some serious "don't eff with this girl" vibes because this rarely happens :devil:
the last time it did happen, was 2 losers standing on the street corner outside of a shady halfway house style "hotel". one of them tried to pick me up and when i wouldnt respond he was like "you're too fat anyway". i responded back, "at least i have a job, can pay for my own food and don't have to live in a halfway house because i'm too much of a loser to to be responsible for my own life. why dont you just kill yourself and jump in the pay and save the tax payers some money" . the guy looked pretty bummed and his friend was like "WOW , I can't believe you just said that . you're so evil"
:smokin:0 -
On Friday I did not have a ride home from work (which is 2.7 miles away from my home) so I decided to skip the gym and walk home and use it as my exercise for the day. Half way there I thought hey i feel like jogging. So I did. As I'm (SLOWLY) jogging home some guy passes by in a car and yells to me "YOU GOTTA DO BETTER THAN THAT HONEY" and I yelled back to him "AT LEAST I'M DOING IT" but I felt so bad inside and I started to see myself as some fatty bouncing down the street. I don't want to stop my journey but I am loosing focus. I'm starting to feel like this is not for me and maybe I'm meant to be big. The calorie counting is driving me crazy and the WW point system seems to be a fake and fraud. I don't know about this anymore. Please help!
Man, forget that mess. Nobody in a car has any reason to yell at a lady on the street, especially not when she's working hard. He's a child, and you're better than that. You did something today, you've already lost 12 pounds, and that's already a hell of an accomplishment. Hell, you even got in a good comeback! I've never been as good with off-the-cuff responses. :P
Maybe the WW system isn't for you, but remember, this isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle change. It's all about finding the one you can maintain. Don't be afraid to experiment with different things, give new recipes a chance, try other exercise methods. If you slip up now and then, so what? Everyone does. Official plan or no, as long as you're eating at a caloric deficit, you will lose the weight. Don't let a bad comment from a stranger derail what you've started!
If you like chickpeas, maybe try hummus? It's very filling and eaten with wheat thins or triscuits, it only costs you as much as a light snack. I'm sure other people can offer way more suggestions; I'm only just getting started myself.
thank you0 -
It happens to me like all the time, especially when I am an asian staying in asia lol. I am big bone structure and is slightly chubby. When they start those attack on me, I will think of,
Hey sister,
1) I am physically and mentally fitter than you. I exercise +-3 times a week while you are busy criticizing others.
2) I eat healthy (as possible) fresh vege, lean meat, healthy fat, etc while you spending tonnes of money investing in body slimming product and pills.
3) Overall, I am on good track and I know that 0 -
I haven't had to deal with too many outside demotivators recently (my ex-husband and family? I can fill a book.), usually punk kids yelling at me as I'm on my bike, or the worst was a car doing a spin out in the large dirt and rock area between the street and bike path throwing rocks at me on purpose.
The biggest demotivator is... me. My current family is encouraging. I've deleted many, many family members from my life. My husband willing to forgo home improvement a little while longer so I can try Koko Fit Club. I signed up for MFP in Sept and rode my bike daily (minimum 6 miles) five days a week until March. I thought for sure I had lost inches. Looking at my initial measurements and today... not a single change. I didn't expect weight to change because I figure I was toning up. Guess not.
So now after all that work and eating correctly still showing nothing... why should I waste my husband's money (SAHM) on some expensive fit club that probably won't work either? I spend as little money on myself as possible because I don't deserve anything special. I think spending money on myself is selfish and wrong when that money can go towards him, the child, the house, the dogs... anything and anyone but me. No manis/pedis. No make-up. I get my hair cut once a year. I buy clothes every 3 years and only then when what is in my closet is not fit for in public. While he brings home the paycheck, I'm 100% in charge of it. As long as the bills are paid, gas in the car, food in the house, he could care less how I spend the remainder, even if that includes spas and fit clubs.
How does one move past that? How do you decide what you're worth?0 -
you have to think to yourself.. would a happy, nice person that i would want to be around say something like this? no! so who cares what they think about you because you wouldnt like them anyway! skrew them, they dont mean anything to you.
also, if he has the nerve to say something like that to you, just realize your not the only person hes treated like that. im sure hes pissed off a lot of people and one day he's goin to piss off the wrong person..
some people just suck. theres good people and bad people in the world, dont let him make you feel as bad about yourself as he feels about himself. you have good things coming your way, him ehh not so much. forget about it! : )0 -
I have two hurtful experiences that come to my mind that I have experienced.
1: when I was young (20) I was very thin, but still had huge boobs, at a concert of a famous German group, the guys from the group actually took me on stage. Somebody in the audience called me "Titti-monster", it was so humiliating, but I was surprised to hear that the singer from the group actually bashed him in from of everybody and letting him know how rude name calling is.
2: On saturday I was asked by my neighbor if I have been single for so long (11 years) because I am ashamed of getting undressed in front of a man, since I am fat!!!
So I have experienced these kind of hurtful things by people, and of course the regular small hurtful ones, that I don't worry about like guys telling me I am too fat (when I was a size 4 at 5'9). I tend to laugh about those "small" ones and I don't worry about it, the only thing that amazes me is how rude some people can be and they don't even notice it. Like my neighbor asking that question!0 -
It doesn't happen to me as often as it did when I was young, but I did have an experience with a group of teenagers when I was walking through a park a couple of years ago. It's humiliating, and it hurts, but once it's over (thankfully), it's over. I have to admit, that was my last time walking in the park alone.0
-
I sold vacuum cleaners door to door for 12 years. Trust that people were trying to talk me out of a straight commission job the whole time. I just developed thick skin and kept an optimistic attitude (still do today).
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
A 12 year old kid at a playground was being a brat, and I suggested he leave. He called me fat, and I said, "yeah, I am, now get lost before I sit on your neck."
He left.0 -
I haven't had to deal with too many outside demotivators recently (my ex-husband and family? I can fill a book.), usually punk kids yelling at me as I'm on my bike, or the worst was a car doing a spin out in the large dirt and rock area between the street and bike path throwing rocks at me on purpose.
The biggest demotivator is... me. My current family is encouraging. I've deleted many, many family members from my life. My husband willing to forgo home improvement a little while longer so I can try Koko Fit Club. I signed up for MFP in Sept and rode my bike daily (minimum 6 miles) five days a week until March. I thought for sure I had lost inches. Looking at my initial measurements and today... not a single change. I didn't expect weight to change because I figure I was toning up. Guess not.
So now after all that work and eating correctly still showing nothing... why should I waste my husband's money (SAHM) on some expensive fit club that probably won't work either? I spend as little money on myself as possible because I don't deserve anything special. I think spending money on myself is selfish and wrong when that money can go towards him, the child, the house, the dogs... anything and anyone but me. No manis/pedis. No make-up. I get my hair cut once a year. I buy clothes every 3 years and only then when what is in my closet is not fit for in public. While he brings home the paycheck, I'm 100% in charge of it. As long as the bills are paid, gas in the car, food in the house, he could care less how I spend the remainder, even if that includes spas and fit clubs.
How does one move past that? How do you decide what you're worth?
You seriously think strangers can answer that for you? You didn't add all that the weight in one night and it winy melt away fast either. It takes time. I do it because I want to set a healthy example for my kids. That's my motivation plus I like how I feel. Find something that turns you on aboutlosing weight.0 -
Ugh I know that feeling. I hate jogging because I always worry people are gunna look at me and laugh because I look dumb doing it. Don't give up, you're doing great!On Friday I did not have a ride home from work (which is 2.7 miles away from my home) so I decided to skip the gym and walk home and use it as my exercise for the day. Half way there I thought hey i feel like jogging. So I did. As I'm (SLOWLY) jogging home some guy passes by in a car and yells to me "YOU GOTTA DO BETTER THAN THAT HONEY" and I yelled back to him "AT LEAST I'M DOING IT" but I felt so bad inside and I started to see myself as some fatty bouncing down the street. I don't want to stop my journey but I am loosing focus. I'm starting to feel like this is not for me and maybe I'm meant to be big. The calorie counting is driving me crazy and the WW point system seems to be a fake and fraud. I don't know about this anymore. Please help!
Remember there are just as many people looking at you and thinking what an awesome job you're doing to even be out there. YRemember that you're lapping eveybody on the couch
This blog sums it up fantastically
http://flintland.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html0 -
So, so far I've had no sort of negative comments about my weight loss. My family has been really supportive and compliments me quite often. As do my friends and extended family.
However the other day, for the first time since, like, high school, I was made fun of for my weight. And not by someone I know. Just some random passerby on the street. Looked at me, then to his friend and said "look at that fat girl." Then told me to go lose some weight. It really hurt to hear that, just cause I hadn't experienced that kind of name calling in years.
So, what kind of experiences have you had with demotivators, and how do you deal with them?
Since when is this bonehead an authority in your life? Think about it that way. Don't give him power.0 -
No one can answer questions for me. However, I can't be the only nut case that has no self-esteem or drive out there to better themselves. I was just wondering if anyone else had been in the self-despair, self-hatred pit and worked their way out. Guess I was wrong there too. Okay it is only me that has complete self-loathing. Good to know. Sorry I asked. Sorry I took up space. Won't happen again.0
-
ShyChiquita wrote:
The biggest demotivator is... me. My current family is encouraging. I've deleted many, many family members from my life. My husband willing to forgo home improvement a little while longer so I can try Koko Fit Club. I signed up for MFP in Sept and rode my bike daily (minimum 6 miles) five days a week until March. I thought for sure I had lost inches. Looking at my initial measurements and today... not a single change. I didn't expect weight to change because I figure I was toning up. Guess not.
So now after all that work and eating correctly still showing nothing... why should I waste my husband's money (SAHM) on some expensive fit club that probably won't work either? I spend as little money on myself as possible because I don't deserve anything special. I think spending money on myself is selfish and wrong when that money can go towards him, the child, the house, the dogs... anything and anyone but me. No manis/pedis. No make-up. I get my hair cut once a year. I buy clothes every 3 years and only then when what is in my closet is not fit for in public. While he brings home the paycheck, I'm 100% in charge of it. As long as the bills are paid, gas in the car, food in the house, he could care less how I spend the remainder, even if that includes spas and fit clubs.
How does one move past that? How do you decide what you're worth?
-and-
No one can answer questions for me. However, I can't be the only nut case that has no self-esteem or drive out there to better themselves. I was just wondering if anyone else had been in the self-despair, self-hatred pit and worked their way out. Guess I was wrong there too. Okay it is only me that has complete self-loathing. Good to know. Sorry I asked. Sorry I took up space. Won't happen again.
*************
Your profile indicates you don't like exercise or logging what you eat, and you're here reluctantly, under your terms.
I can get down on myself, but you really seem to be very upset. I hope you continue reading these boards, because most people here are glad to offer support and motivation. Sure, there are some rude people - but most of us are working hard to reach our goals and support each other. I hope you can get something positive here.0 -
The only person who can demotivate me is me!
If people make stupid comments, I generally just flip them off with a few choice words and move on or laugh in the face; cause usually the people who feel that they have the right to make offensive comments usually have their own flaws which are right on the surface.0 -
I've never had it from people I know either, my experience was similar to yours. Last September I was out for a jog and my sister was cycling we were talking and some kid kept shouting oi slim oi slim I ignored them and they shouted I just want to tell you you're a fat c**t... Shouldn't have let it affect me but I completely stopped working out for 2 months after that0
-
:laugh: Many years ago some kids mooed at me (as in the sound a cow makes!) when I was walking home from work. I went home and cried. If it was now I may react differently.0
-
OP, I feel your pain.
Last Friday I did my dutiful call to my husband's only living relative, his elderly aunt, to see how she was doing. He honestly does not keep up with her and she's lonely (never married, no kids) so I try to fill the gap.
She said, at one point, that she was glad that I was working out and losing weight because, "Every time I looked at you, you were looking more and more like your mother in law."
My mother in law was grossly overweight for decades. She was slovenly, smelled bad and was lazy. She died in bed two years ago at the age of 60. She was about 400 lbs.
I would say it was the worst thing anyone has said to me, except that my husband compared me to his mother just a couple of weeks ago. It had me calling a lawyer before I could put it behind me.
I chalk it up to *kitten*****s with no mouth filter.
I am one size larger than auntie and my husband is just as big as I am. But I am going to lose the weight and they will still be sitting around in their lard.
Yeah, I'm bitter.0 -
I don't look at such things as demotivators. In fact, just the opposite. I had a similar comment not long after I started my weight loss. It was mean and hurtful, but once I came to terms with it, it was actually motivating to me. It's absolutely true I'll likely never see that person again, but wanting to prove to myself that I'm better than that idiot motivated me to work even harder.0
-
So, so far I've had no sort of negative comments about my weight loss. My family has been really supportive and compliments me quite often. As do my friends and extended family.
However the other day, for the first time since, like, high school, I was made fun of for my weight. And not by someone I know. Just some random passerby on the street. Looked at me, then to his friend and said "look at that fat girl." Then told me to go lose some weight. It really hurt to hear that, just cause I hadn't experienced that kind of name calling in years.
So, what kind of experiences have you had with demotivators, and how do you deal with them?
Somebody who would do that is a sociopath, a person with no conscience who doesn't care if they hurt others. Sounds like he was using you to show off in front of the girlfriend.
It's hard to say how to deal with strangers. You could say, "Stop it!" or try to get away. It's probably better not to confront strangers who act in a crazy way. You never know, they could physically hurt you for kicks.0 -
I usually ignore it, but if I've got my fighting britches on, I turn toward them, look them deeply in the eye, fill my face with concern for another human, and say, "You must be a very unhappy person to speak to a stranger that way. I'm so sorry. I hope one day, you can find some peace within yourself."
*kitten*.
Perfect response!! I may steal it But so far been lucky not to experience this in the last decade 
0 -
When I was thinner than I am now (a healthy BMI), I was out with friends on a cold night going bar to bar and not wearing a coat. Some random dude yelled "wear a coat!" and then his friend was like "dude, she's got insulation, she doesn't need one." I was sooooo embarrassed. One of my male friends was pissed off and wanted to say something to him but that just embarrassed me more. I wish I had been alone when it happened, honestly, because then I could've just carried on in denial. I hadn't been "teased" like that since elementary/middle school. Plus, I was like 30 lbs less at that time than I am now, so I can only imagine what people think when I walk by. Good times. Anyway, try not to dwell on it. Chances are people think mean things like that and you never find out about it. It's sad but lots of people are judgmental these days (including myself, unfortunately). Every now and then an immature person can't keep his/her mouth shut. We'll be ok. 0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions