How to Handle Unwanted Attention

billsica

I'm going to be firm today and tell them NO at the bar then. Thanks for the advice.

servilia

If they're being rude then there's no need to be nice. Walk away or give a dirty look. Your response of "I'm a married woman blah blah" is just gonna make them laugh, it's way too nice of a response to someone who's being rude.

ohmscheeks

[
You did look quiet dashing:

He has nice buns, lol.

hauntao

I just laugh at peoples' faces.

ahviendha

I would just be a *****!

I would say, "That's creepy." with a straight face. Or "No thanks!" if he's nicer.

There is no reason you should tolerate any behavior which makes you uncomfortable.

diodelcibo

Be nice at first and when people don't get it tell them to shove it.

odusgolp

I think some people confuse the polite wink and a smile of a perfect stranger with an aggressive sexual advance. Throw in a little delusion and ego and BAM, we have a problem Houston! Call Human Resources!

AlongCame_Molly

Believe it or not (gasp), yes I do receive unwanted attention from females! This attention would be appreciated if I were single, but every time I'm in a relationship and go out to eat somewhere, or go to somewhere with other people (yes literally almost every single time I go out), I receive this unwanted - or at least a bit annoying - attention from females.

A few weeks ago I went out to eat with a very beautiful female friend, just friends, and suddenly out of nowhere the female server behind the counter is, how shall I say, a bit too "extra" smiley and friendly with me.

The time before that, the same thing happened with the same friend in a different place.

And before that, while I was in my last relationship I would get hit on by other girls literally while I was holding my girlfriend's hand at a restaurant or just out places where there are people.

(For some reason waitresses seem to really enjoy hitting on guys with girlfriends?)

I can even remember a very specific time, which happened to be the very first time I went out with a girlfriend to a restaurant, several years ago. I will always remember it. My beautiful gf of the time went outside to take a phone call, and the waitress brought our food and smiled and winked at me at the table. I just smiled back and basically ignored her. Then, literally in the same two seconds, I looked across to the other side of the room just randomly and made eye contact with ANOTHER WAITRESS who freakin winked at me also! Wtf! I was winked at by two waitresses within literally 5 seconds, and surely both of them knew I was there with my date (at least the one serving us did).


So ladies... what's the freakin deal! Is it really so simple as the "want what you cant have" mentality, or is there something more to it? Literally every time I am out with an attractive girl, girlfriend or just friend, I get hit on blatantly in front of her by other girls.


Care to explain!?

My take on that is that a lot of girls are insecure with themselves so they feel that if they manage to get the attention of a man who is with another pretty girl, that they must be equally or more attractive than the other girl. I call them attention seekers that need to find some self worth.

Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding!

If you can get a flirt from a clearly taken man, you get to feel like hot *kitten* for the rest of the night. Some girls make it a competition.

AllonsYtotheTardis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRXa971Xw0

^^^ good tactics there.

murphy612

Sometimes a throat punch is the only option. Apply ample force. They'll get the point. ; )

:drinker: Agreed

RCMPWannaBe

I think some people confuse the polite wink and a smile of a perfect stranger with an aggressive sexual advance. Throw in a little delusion and ego and BAM, we have a problem Houston! Call Human Resources!

This.

Ed98043

Believe it or not (gasp), yes I do receive unwanted attention from females! This attention would be appreciated if I were single, but every time I'm in a relationship and go out to eat somewhere, or go to somewhere with other people (yes literally almost every single time I go out), I receive this unwanted - or at least a bit annoying - attention from females.

A few weeks ago I went out to eat with a very beautiful female friend, just friends, and suddenly out of nowhere the female server behind the counter is, how shall I say, a bit too "extra" smiley and friendly with me.

The time before that, the same thing happened with the same friend in a different place.

And before that, while I was in my last relationship I would get hit on by other girls literally while I was holding my girlfriend's hand at a restaurant or just out places where there are people.

(For some reason waitresses seem to really enjoy hitting on guys with girlfriends?)

I can even remember a very specific time, which happened to be the very first time I went out with a girlfriend to a restaurant, several years ago. I will always remember it. My beautiful gf of the time went outside to take a phone call, and the waitress brought our food and smiled and winked at me at the table. I just smiled back and basically ignored her. Then, literally in the same two seconds, I looked across to the other side of the room just randomly and made eye contact with ANOTHER WAITRESS who freakin winked at me also! Wtf! I was winked at by two waitresses within literally 5 seconds, and surely both of them knew I was there with my date (at least the one serving us did).


So ladies... what's the freakin deal! Is it really so simple as the "want what you cant have" mentality, or is there something more to it? Literally every time I am out with an attractive girl, girlfriend or just friend, I get hit on blatantly in front of her by other girls.


Care to explain!?

None of what you've described is what I would call "being hit on". Flirted with, sure maybe. But being hit on is when they actually attempt to make plans with you. As for smiles, winks, admiring looks - enjoy the attention, because someday it'll end and you'll miss it dearly.

MercenaryNoetic26

Get your mean face going. Nobody will dare compliment you when you have that mean look... like you'll destroy them if they approach you. If you catch them looking, roll your eyes or give the, "Pshh, I just caught you looking and you're creepy" look.

Anyway, that works for me when I go to public gyms. That and my enormous over the ear hesh headphones. I make no eye contact with anyone unless I want their machine and I'm asking them how long they'll be or if I can work in. Or unless they look really fckn good. Then I might look at them and look away because even if they're fine as hell, I will not encourage them or boost their egos, lol.

JenAndSome

With the cat-calling and vulgar remarks just flip them the bird and walk away. If someone is invading your personal space that is not okay. I'm not sure what kind of situation you are in that lets these people near you. If you are at work your best bet is to step away from them. If they step in again tell them that you like your personal space and move away again. If you are anywhere else tell them to back up and if that doesn't work, knee them in the crotch.

Jacwhite22

When I was in my early 20's I didn't seem to have a problem deflecting unwanted attention. However, these days I seem to be at a loss.

I've recently started getting a fair amount of attention. And I admit after 5 or so years of next to no attention, it's an ego boost. However, there is still that line that can be crossed where it becomes inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable. I try to be gracious, I'll always say thank you to well intentioned compliments. But what do I do when the comments are rude (for example cat-calling, or some kind of vulgar reference/remark), or the person invades my personal space?

I'm not being flirtatious, or doing anything in my opinion to attract this attention. I dress modestly, I don't go out to bars/clubs. I'm nice to everyone, but I'm not going to start being me to every male that comes within 3 feet of me.

My first reaction is to ignore/walk away. But this hasn't been working well for me lately. My next reaction is to nicely say that I appreciate the 'compliment', but you're making me uncomfortable. I'm a married woman and I can't have other men advancing on me. Again, this is not working very well for me. Should I just be a b!tch? Are there other strategies that I could use? Any help would be great!

I would hang out around more attractive people. Honestly if you friends are prettier than you you won't have to worry about the attention. Honestly.....I wouldn't have noticed you on the street......but I do understand what you are saying. If you don't have hotter friends you can hang out with as soon as you meet a guy talk about your dream wedding and that you want to have 10 kids. That should do it.

jackpotclown

you should learn tactics from her
\m/

Illona88

I'm a writer so I do a lot of work at coffee shops, museums, venue lobbies etc.
Somehow the whole staring at your laptop with headphones on doesn't ward of creeps.

I can't even count the amount of times some random guy came up to me and started offering drinks or asking for my phone number.
Dude, I'm working. Go away. I generally just completely ignore them.
Sometimes they even go right into your face if you pretend you can't hear them. I have even had men that went to stand behind me and looked over my shoulder to look at my laptop screen and then wrapped their arms around me. Let me give you an introduction to proxemics:



Kindly f**k off to well beyond my public space.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I'd go with this look.



Not that that ever happens to me. But you know, if it did.

Capt_Apollo

I'm a writer so I do a lot of work at coffee shops, museums, venue lobbies etc.

whats the point of being a writer if you can't be a writer in a public space so people will know you are a writer?

greenmonstergirl

When I was in my early 20's I didn't seem to have a problem deflecting unwanted attention. However, these days I seem to be at a loss.

I've recently started getting a fair amount of attention. And I admit after 5 or so years of next to no attention, it's an ego boost. However, there is still that line that can be crossed where it becomes inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable. I try to be gracious, I'll always say thank you to well intentioned compliments. But what do I do when the comments are rude (for example cat-calling, or some kind of vulgar reference/remark), or the person invades my personal space?

I'm not being flirtatious, or doing anything in my opinion to attract this attention. I dress modestly, I don't go out to bars/clubs. I'm nice to everyone, but I'm not going to start being me to every male that comes within 3 feet of me.

My first reaction is to ignore/walk away. But this hasn't been working well for me lately. My next reaction is to nicely say that I appreciate the 'compliment', but you're making me uncomfortable. I'm a married woman and I can't have other men advancing on me. Again, this is not working very well for me. Should I just be a b!tch? Are there other strategies that I could use? Any help would be great!

tell them you love them and want to move in together and have their love child...they will think you are insane and leave you alone.