A bit of a rant... and maybe a chance to learn?
Replies
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Wow, people can be nasty. I hope y'all are proud of yourselves. The post was meant for ME to express the frustration I'm feeling at this point in my journey. Perhaps the wording wasn't the best, but yes, I was hoping there were other people who may have felt this way as well. To have worked SO HARD for something, only to see someone else (seemingly) get it so easily. That fact in and of itself can be frustrating. The post highlighted my friend's eating habits, it didn't say anything about her not being a fantastic person (which she is), or anything about me not being happy with my own success or my own journey so far (which I am). For the people that posted sincere, kind responses, thank you, I appreciate your feedback.
Who is being nasty?
You? Yes.0 -
Are you missing something here? Probably.
I mean, it's not your life. You don't know what she's doing when you can't see her.
30 pounds really is a lot, in terms of how quickly someone will lose weight. You will probably lose slower because you have less to lose.
The amount of caloric deficit matters, too, but it sounds like you haven't changed your life in a way that you're happy with if you wish you were eating the cake and food instead of just chicken and salad.
You don't have to deprive yourself. You can eat what you like and still lose. Just make sure that what you choose to do actually is a lifestyle change that you want.
this one, too.0 -
So, this is a bit of a rant. A friend of mine at work started "dieting" the same time I did. Although for me, I'm not dieting. I'm changing my life habits. Anyway, she still eats like crap. I mean, TOTAL CRAP. And at this point, she has lost more weight than me. Granted, she IS bigger than me, but only by about 30 pounds. I see her eating fast food and cake and drinking soda, and I'm over here with my salad and water being all annoyed. I mean, how does that happen? I work my *kitten* off 4 times a week for 90 minutes training with a personal trainer, and she leisurely goes to the gym 3 times a week and does 20 minutes on the treadmill. UGH. Am I missing something here??
people (myself included) lose weight eating what some close-minded people refer to as "junk" all the time.
if salad annoys you, stop eating it.
it all about caloric deficit.
its not a race...if youre consistently losing, then youre doing great!0 -
Don't worry about her... your doing things right and not taking a short cut! I completely understand your rant. I don't think there is some hidden agenda such as you don't really like your food that your eating or whatever, blah blah blah! Point blank its annoying, because you are doing what you are supposed to. And she's just skipping along taking nothing serious and getting results she doesn't deserve. And you know what keep up your hard work and you will get your results. You will be able to keep the weight off and live a healthy lifestyle. And I guarantee you that she will be right back where she started, she isn't taking weightloss/fitness seriously so she won't get serious results. Be proud of what you are doing, you will get your reward in time.
I know lots of people on this site that get amazing results and still allow themselves to eat the foods they love. And because it is sustainable, i.e. they do not deny themselves occasional treats, they are more likely to keep the weight off. As opposed to someone that deprive themselves of treats and only eat salad and water all of the time. They tend to fall of the wagon hard because they have trouble sustaining and have built up irrational thoughts about food. This happend to me when I first began.0 -
Every time I sit back to my hearty meal next to some chick digging into her rabbit food I think to myself "skinny girls don't eat salad," but then I think to myself "Big Al, it's none of your damned business what that girls eating and how she's reaching her goals, all that matters is that she's doing it her way and hopefully it's sustainable."0
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the lesson would be don't compare yourself to other people or you will never be happy.
this is a good lesson for life in general. you may already know this and have forgotten momentarily in your frustration and zeal to get healthy.0 -
Don't worry about her... your doing things right and not taking a short cut! I completely understand your rant. I don't think there is some hidden agenda such as you don't really like your food that your eating or whatever, blah blah blah! Point blank its annoying, because you are doing what you are supposed to. And she's just skipping along taking nothing serious and getting results she doesn't deserve. And you know what keep up your hard work and you will get your results. You will be able to keep the weight off and live a healthy lifestyle. And I guarantee you that she will be right back where she started, she isn't taking weightloss/fitness seriously so she won't get serious results. Be proud of what you are doing, you will get your reward in time.
Thank you for this, and thank you for being a nice person!
But that's just the point. You're doing what you think "you're supposed to do" and she's not. Maybe the lesson is that what you think you're "supposed to do" is wrong. And maybe deciding that your friend is getting results she doesn't deserve is wrong as well.0 -
So, this is a bit of a rant. A friend of mine at work started "dieting" the same time I did. Although for me, I'm not dieting. I'm changing my life habits. Anyway, she still eats like crap. I mean, TOTAL CRAP. And at this point, she has lost more weight than me. Granted, she IS bigger than me, but only by about 30 pounds. I see her eating fast food and cake and drinking soda, and I'm over here with my salad and water being all annoyed. I mean, how does that happen? I work my *kitten* off 4 times a week for 90 minutes training with a personal trainer, and she leisurely goes to the gym 3 times a week and does 20 minutes on the treadmill. UGH. Am I missing something here??
Yes, you are missing the fact that you two are different. Stick to your plan. Eat your calories. Workout. Be patient. Don't measure your success against anyone else. You're doing fine.0 -
Don't worry about her... your doing things right and not taking a short cut! I completely understand your rant. I don't think there is some hidden agenda such as you don't really like your food that your eating or whatever, blah blah blah! Point blank its annoying, because you are doing what you are supposed to. And she's just skipping along taking nothing serious and getting results she doesn't deserve. And you know what keep up your hard work and you will get your results. You will be able to keep the weight off and live a healthy lifestyle. And I guarantee you that she will be right back where she started, she isn't taking weightloss/fitness seriously so she won't get serious results. Be proud of what you are doing, you will get your reward in time.
Thank you for this, and thank you for being a nice person!
Your welcome, and for the very reason that you want to lead a healthy lifestyle please do make sure that most of your calories are coming from food with healthy benefits. I don't care what anyone is saying about a calorie deficit, you want a healthy lifestyle and that doesn't include eating constant junk food. Bigger people lose weight faster, I started at 132ish and I am just now down to 125 and its been close to 3 months since I started my journey. I expected weight to come off super fast, not the case. I'm slow at loosing weight but I'm loosing inches and that makes a huge difference! Weightlifting has played a huge role in that, even more than my cardio! Keep it up, rant all you want, believe me I do it all the time..... its what humans do. But don't give up, you got this!0 -
Wow, people can be nasty. I hope y'all are proud of yourselves. The post was meant for ME to express the frustration I'm feeling at this point in my journey. Perhaps the wording wasn't the best, but yes, I was hoping there were other people who may have felt this way as well. To have worked SO HARD for something, only to see someone else (seemingly) get it so easily. That fact in and of itself can be frustrating. The post highlighted my friend's eating habits, it didn't say anything about her not being a fantastic person (which she is), or anything about me not being happy with my own success or my own journey so far (which I am). For the people that posted sincere, kind responses, thank you, I appreciate your feedback.
Hate the feedback? Post this crap in your blog and not where everyone and their cheeseburger can reply.
When I noticed your avatar was the default, I thought you deactivated.0 -
Wow, people can be nasty. I hope y'all are proud of yourselves. The post was meant for ME to express the frustration I'm feeling at this point in my journey. Perhaps the wording wasn't the best, but yes, I was hoping there were other people who may have felt this way as well. To have worked SO HARD for something, only to see someone else (seemingly) get it so easily. That fact in and of itself can be frustrating. The post highlighted my friend's eating habits, it didn't say anything about her not being a fantastic person (which she is), or anything about me not being happy with my own success or my own journey so far (which I am). For the people that posted sincere, kind responses, thank you, I appreciate your feedback.
Who is being nasty?
You? Yes.
Nasty? Not even close. I don't attack people on a community board for expressing what they're feeling. That's ALL YOU.0 -
I get you. I would feel the same way. I'm doing EVERYTHING right and losing slow. (Well, I stopped for a while, now I'm back to "doing things right.") I think everyone loses differently. You just have to tell yourself that it is OK, you will get to where you need to be and carry on...I can't see that there is anything else to do. Good luck to you!
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You wanted a chance to learn and now people are pitching in trying to help you out. Don't get nasty. This is the internet. You can't expect to come on here and have everyone rub your back and tell you it's going to be okay. Just do your own thing and nevermind the rest. If she can lose weight eating junk, good for her. If you cannot and will not, then do what you have to do to maintain your good habits and progress and be happy with that.0
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Wow, people can be nasty. I hope y'all are proud of yourselves. The post was meant for ME to express the frustration I'm feeling at this point in my journey. Perhaps the wording wasn't the best, but yes, I was hoping there were other people who may have felt this way as well. To have worked SO HARD for something, only to see someone else (seemingly) get it so easily. That fact in and of itself can be frustrating. The post highlighted my friend's eating habits, it didn't say anything about her not being a fantastic person (which she is), or anything about me not being happy with my own success or my own journey so far (which I am). For the people that posted sincere, kind responses, thank you, I appreciate your feedback.
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I think we all have those rants and have to vent, but please keep in mind everyone is different. Truly we are all diff. I can't completely omit sweets or fast food. Now I just incorporate them in moderation, otherwise when I reintroduce them I will be back to square one. That however works for ME. Stay focused and determined, good luck in all your endeavors!0
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You want us to support you belittling your friend's progress because your own is unsatisfactory to you? Orly?I'm not sure people understand the concept of a RANT. It's not rational, it's probably not even right, it's just what I'm FEELING. Up until now, MFP was a place I thought I could come to for people to give support and understanding. I don't envy the fact she gets to eat cake, I just don't understand HOW one can eat McDonalds, gas station food, venti Starbucks frappuccinos, cake, etc... every. single. day. and still have progress?? Again, it's a RANT people, a completely irrational thought process.
How do you know what she's eating all the time? Do you monitor her food intake 24/7? Do you go with her to the gym everyday to see what she's doing? Do you hold her hand while she gets on the scale?
How about, instead of tearing down someone else just because they appear to be having more success than you, you focus on your own goals and achievements? Just a thought.
This one, not JUST because it comes from a smart and successful member of this site, but also because this is what hubby is observing with me. Since I save my big cals for dinner with him as to not hinder his lifestyle too much he is under the impression that I am eating quite a bit. And things people might not consider "healthy" per se, sometimes. Sometimes when my girlfriends invite me to eat, i like their company and enjoy it to the fullest with foods that are yummy making that meal my biggest one and so they may think i'm eating every bad thing under the sun too, but i'm not. I'm just using up my cals at that great restaurant we decided to meet up at. So try not to compare the actual intake. IF you're eating habits were wildly horrible then a major lifestyle change would probably good idea, if not, maybe it's not necessary and you can lose your weight on a plan that you can live with albeit possible at a more steady slower pace.
I bolded those because focusing on your own achievements will become motivating for you. focusing on your own goals will cause you to research online and find what works for you and get a better bearing on what's going on with her which ultimately you won't care about when you recall that YOU ARE ALREADY the thinner one, at least take solace in that.0 -
Don't worry about her... your doing things right and not taking a short cut! I completely understand your rant. I don't think there is some hidden agenda such as you don't really like your food that your eating or whatever, blah blah blah! Point blank its annoying, because you are doing what you are supposed to. And she's just skipping along taking nothing serious and getting results she doesn't deserve. And you know what keep up your hard work and you will get your results. You will be able to keep the weight off and live a healthy lifestyle. And I guarantee you that she will be right back where she started, she isn't taking weightloss/fitness seriously so she won't get serious results. Be proud of what you are doing, you will get your reward in time.
I know lots of people on this site that get amazing results and still allow themselves to eat the foods they love. And because it is sustainable, i.e. they do not deny themselves occasional treats, they are more likely to keep the weight off. As opposed to someone that deprive themselves of treats and only eat salad and water all of the time. They tend to fall of the wagon hard because they have trouble sustaining and have built up irrational thoughts about food. This happend to me when I first began.
Nothing wrong with eating things you love..... but self control along with portion control is a huge deal. I love cake and ice-cream but I'm not going to eat it until I am sick to my stomach. I allow myself treats, but the majority of my food is healthy, and helps my body function the way it needs to.0 -
Wow, people can be nasty. I hope y'all are proud of yourselves. The post was meant for ME to express the frustration I'm feeling at this point in my journey. Perhaps the wording wasn't the best, but yes, I was hoping there were other people who may have felt this way as well. To have worked SO HARD for something, only to see someone else (seemingly) get it so easily. That fact in and of itself can be frustrating. The post highlighted my friend's eating habits, it didn't say anything about her not being a fantastic person (which she is), or anything about me not being happy with my own success or my own journey so far (which I am). For the people that posted sincere, kind responses, thank you, I appreciate your feedback.
Who is being nasty?
You? Yes.
Nasty? Not even close. I don't attack people on a community board for expressing what they're feeling. That's ALL YOU.
Nope you attacked a supposed friend on a community board for what she's eating. That sounds so much nicer!0 -
Don't worry about her... your doing things right and not taking a short cut! I completely understand your rant. I don't think there is some hidden agenda such as you don't really like your food that your eating or whatever, blah blah blah! Point blank its annoying, because you are doing what you are supposed to. And she's just skipping along taking nothing serious and getting results she doesn't deserve. And you know what keep up your hard work and you will get your results. You will be able to keep the weight off and live a healthy lifestyle. And I guarantee you that she will be right back where she started, she isn't taking weightloss/fitness seriously so she won't get serious results. Be proud of what you are doing, you will get your reward in time.
Thank you for this, and thank you for being a nice person!
Your welcome, and for the very reason that you want to lead a healthy lifestyle please do make sure that most of your calories are coming from food with healthy benefits. I don't care what anyone is saying about a calorie deficit, you want a healthy lifestyle and that doesn't include eating constant junk food. Bigger people lose weight faster, I started at 132ish and I am just now down to 125 and its been close to 3 months since I started my journey. I expected weight to come off super fast, not the case. I'm slow at loosing weight but I'm loosing inches and that makes a huge difference! Weightlifting has played a huge role in that, even more than my cardio! Keep it up, rant all you want, believe me I do it all the time..... its what humans do. But don't give up, you got this!
I won't ever give up. I feel better than I have in years! All from eating right and exercising. It's amazing the change in how you feel, and how your skin looks, and just your overall outlook on life. I should have done this 10 years ago. Thank you again for your genuine response, and for not assuming I'm some horrible person! Sometimes you just have to express what you feel. Since no one in my life understands this journey or how hard it can be (they're all fit and toned!) I assumed I could turn to the community on here.0 -
Don't worry about her... your doing things right and not taking a short cut! I completely understand your rant. I don't think there is some hidden agenda such as you don't really like your food that your eating or whatever, blah blah blah! Point blank its annoying, because you are doing what you are supposed to. And she's just skipping along taking nothing serious and getting results she doesn't deserve. And you know what keep up your hard work and you will get your results. You will be able to keep the weight off and live a healthy lifestyle. And I guarantee you that she will be right back where she started, she isn't taking weightloss/fitness seriously so she won't get serious results. Be proud of what you are doing, you will get your reward in time.
Thank you for this, and thank you for being a nice person!
The one person you consider to be nice just said your friend (who you claim is wonderful) is getting results she doesn't deserve and will gain it all back. THAT'S rude.
We know the kind of "kindness and support" you're looking for. Sorry, most of us just aren't that spiteful to trash someone we don't know to make you feel better about yourself.0 -
Salads can have far more calories than cheeseburgers.
Maybe she only eats once a day, who knows?0 -
Don't worry about her... your doing things right and not taking a short cut! I completely understand your rant. I don't think there is some hidden agenda such as you don't really like your food that your eating or whatever, blah blah blah! Point blank its annoying, because you are doing what you are supposed to. And she's just skipping along taking nothing serious and getting results she doesn't deserve. And you know what keep up your hard work and you will get your results. You will be able to keep the weight off and live a healthy lifestyle. And I guarantee you that she will be right back where she started, she isn't taking weightloss/fitness seriously so she won't get serious results. Be proud of what you are doing, you will get your reward in time.
Thank you for this, and thank you for being a nice person!
The one person you consider to be nice just said your friend (who you claim is wonderful) is getting results she doesn't deserve and will gain it all back. THAT'S rude.
We know the kind of "kindness and support" you're looking for. Sorry, most of us just aren't that spiteful to trash someone we don't know to make you feel better about yourself.
^
This.0 -
OP sounds hangry.0
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I think we all have those rants and have to vent, but please keep in mind everyone is different. Truly we are all diff. I can't completely omit sweets or fast food. Now I just incorporate them in moderation, otherwise when I reintroduce them I will be back to square one. That however works for ME. Stay focused and determined, good luck in all your endeavors!
Thanks so much!0 -
I get pissed off when people win the lottery. I mean really. They win a million dollars, and I have to slave away day in and day out (ignore the fact that I'm on MFP right now), and get paid a mere fraction of that.
Ignore the fact that I don't buy lottery tickets either because they cost like $6 and I never win.
But how dare they win and not me!
Also ignore that I don't know how much money they have spent up to this point on lotto tickets too.
IT'S JUST NOT FAIR
Rant - heard. It sucks.
chance to learn? Yeah it's here in the responses...up to you as to whether you take it.
:flowerforyou:
Perfect! :drinker:0 -
How dare you express your feelings on the internet and have people state facts.0
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her salad wasn't very filling, maybe?OP sounds hangry.0 -
Weight loss is about calorie deficit. If hers is bigger than yours then she'll lose more weight. (Being 30 lbs heavier is probably allowing her to lose faster also) I don't necessarily think it means she'll gain it right back. I've lost all of my weight eating a wide variety of foods, including a lot that you'd probably consider junk. I feel like I'm well equipped to deal with real life, because I know how to fit a piece of cake or a couple of pieces of pizza into my goals.
If you're upset with your salad and water maybe you should consider adding a bit of treat food. I do the 80/20 approach-- 80% of my food goes toward meeting my macros and micros. 20% goes to treats. It's worked well for me. The best plan is the one you can stick to.
I hate to start by quoting someone from my FL, but yet I love it at the same time!
's to her.
Thanks. s back to you.
OP I really was not trying to be unkind at all. I actually didn't realize this was in the "motivation/support" section or I probably would not have responded, but you did seem to be asking why your friend is able to eat foods she loves and still lose weight and your post title suggested that you were willing to learn.
I also take issue with the idea that people who eat food they enjoy are doomed to gain back their weight or are taking a short cut somehow. I realize that you didn't claim either of those things in your OP but the first few posters did and that's why I responded. I follow IIFYM-- if it fits your macros. My food is a good mixture of "healthy" food and treats (mostly the former, because otherwise I'd never fit my macros). The idea that somehow not eating any treat food at all (or only eating it very occasionally) is more virtuous and that people who eat that way are more deserving of their results is not a philosophy to which I subscribe.
At any rate, now that you've clarified that you were only interested in ranting and you weren't really asking a question at all, I realize that you don't want to hear any more. Good luck with reaching all of your goals. :flowerforyou:0 -
Salads can have far more calories than cheeseburgers.
Maybe she only eats once a day, who knows?
That's very true. It could be that I only see what she eats while here, and that may be all she eats.
Thanks!0 -
I'm not sure people understand the concept of a RANT. It's not rational, it's probably not even right, it's just what I'm FEELING. Up until now, MFP was a place I thought I could come to for people to give support and understanding. I don't envy the fact she gets to eat cake, I just don't understand HOW one can eat McDonalds, gas station food, venti Starbucks frappuccinos, cake, etc... every. single. day. and still have progress?? Again, it's a RANT people, a completely irrational thought process.
How dare she eat crap and not work as hard and lose more weight!! That would make me feel disheartened too! Life doesn't always feel fair and I think it is good to get rid of those feelings in a safe place rather than keep them in then blow up at your friend! keep at it, you will do great! x0
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