Comments From FB Friends... Awkward?

Options
2»

Replies

  • moni_tb_192
    moni_tb_192 Posts: 188 Member
    Options
    I don't update my photo very often, and the last one I posted was just a photograph of my face. It got lots of likes, and a few comments. However, when I see FB people in real life, they do tell how much I've changed and how good I look. I really appreciate that :) And the only time it was awkward was when a professor at the university (a guy I had only spoken to a couple of times) told me that he knew he didn't talk to me very much, but that I looked good... and he asked for advice! hahahaha
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Options
    I guess I'm different. I have shared everything with everyone. I find that being so extremely candid has led me to find some true friends and supporters in the FB community. I didn't know that I had so many people rooting for me.

    Fitness has become a way of life for me, so it would be really difficult for me to not share that with my "FB" friends as well as those on MFP. I have found pretty much overwhelming support from my friends and family, with the exception of one or two acquaintances who I was not close to) I figure if people don't care to read my status updates about races and runs and such, they can leave my page ;)
  • WDEvy
    WDEvy Posts: 814 Member
    Options
    YES! It's so awkward! I posted a random pic of me from last week's Comic Con and random people kept commenting on my body.. It was really strange
  • LizardQueen4PointOh
    LizardQueen4PointOh Posts: 245 Member
    Options
    I'm on MFP more than FB these days. A friend on MFP, which happens to be an IRL/FB friend also, asked me if I was going to post any recent pics of myself on FB. I tend to just do face shots, or I'm the one taking the pictures, so I'm not in them (kids, hubby). There were some from Easter of me in a group. I was trying on a new pair of capris and really liked how they looked, so I snapped a shot in the changing room and posted it (and bought them!). I got lots of compliments and "what are you doing to lose the weight" comments. I told them I'm still looking for the magic pill, but in the meantime I'm eating fewer calories and exercising. :wink:
  • eep223
    eep223 Posts: 624 Member
    Options
    Maybe just update it more often. Then the change will be more gradual and probably no one will comment.
  • corrinnebrown
    corrinnebrown Posts: 345 Member
    Options
    :) That just means it really shows!

    Read somewhere that it takes 4 weeks for you to notice your body changing, 8 weeks fro you close friends and family to notice and 12 weeks for the rest of the world to.

    Must've hit that 12 week mark! :) Congratulations!
  • GnomeQueen84
    GnomeQueen84 Posts: 55 Member
    Options
    Why is it awkward for people to compliment you?
  • obeseandsassy
    obeseandsassy Posts: 118
    Options
    So, as I type this out, I know it sounds ridiculous. I'll just start with that.

    I have a dear friend on Facebook who lives in Mexico, and asked me to upload a new picture to Facebook because mine was oldish and she's just like that. :P So, I did... and now I'm getting a ridiculous number of comments on it from family/people I never see or talk to/etc, telling me how great I look and how I've lost so much weight, and I'm, just like... "uh... thanks?"

    I'm all super-excited when I lose weight, and I update my pictures on here, but it just feels awkward to have other people noticing/commenting/etc. That's especially true because I just don't discuss my weight, my weight loss, etc with people on Facebook at all, for the most part. Anyone else have that issue?

    I think it's definitely a symptom of the diet culture we live in--that if someone posts a picture where they're thinner than before, people feel obligated to comment in support, because 'thinner=better.' What if you'd been really sick? What if you'd developed an eating disorder? What you had gotten depressed and stopped eating? To have a ton of people comment and say things like 'omg you look so good' and ask for diet tips and tricks when they have no idea why you're losing weight is a complete faux pas. Weight loss is not always a positive or a healthy thing.

    Changing your body is a personal journey. I would feel super awkward in your situation, especially when your goal is something as private as fertility.
  • CindyRip
    CindyRip Posts: 166 Member
    Options
    You went to all the effort to lose weight and you want to hide it because someone might comment on it? I think you are focusing on the wrong thing here. When you get those comments if they are not rude, a simple "Thanks" will do, you do not have to elaborate, then move on to your normal conversation. You owe no one any explanations other than what you want to provide. Do you really want no one to notice your effort? What kind of friend says nothing about a big change? Not one I want for sure. Change your focus and these comment may not seem so awkward but something positive. Of course if they are rude they deserve no return comment, problem solved.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    Options
    I find online comments much less awkward than in person ones. Something about standing there while someone tells me how much better I look, and comments on my body and my appearance. Bah. Uncomfortable.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Options
    Yeah, how DARE people who love you compliment you on your hard work? It must be so terrible to know your efforts are finally paying off and other people can see it.

    The nerve!
  • momofJandA
    momofJandA Posts: 1,038 Member
    Options
    wait . . . you're upset because people are COMPLIMENTING you? :noway:
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    Options
    Wear it like a badge of honor. You worked hard for what you've got. And it seems like they're being supportive! I wish I'd get more compliments like that. Keep rocking.
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
    Options
    I don't many pics of me on Facebook and don't really mention what I've been up to fitness wise.. I do post about tough mudder as I'm seeing if anyone wants to join my team.

    I post on here more often then facebook too but will probably post a pic when I've lost a bit more or when I've completed my tough Mudder.
  • citizencrp
    citizencrp Posts: 228 Member
    Options
    I don't know that I have much to offer on this topic other than "Yes! me too!" I do add new pictures to FB, just not a ton. And when I do, they tend to get a lot of comments. It's all very positive, but it's just all so STRANGE. here are some of my simultaneous thoughts:
    -I am proud of myself.
    -I look better than I used to.
    -Thank you for your compliments.
    -Shut up with your compliments.
    -I'm smaller, but I'm still so big, so stop patronizing me.
    -Was I really so hideous before?
    -No, I am not on a diet.
    -No, REALLY. I am not on a "diet".
    -Seriously, the fact that you can't understand that I'm not on a "diet" with a name and a book and bottles of supplements and a work out routine and I have still lost 60 lbs, makes me doubt your intelligence, so stop talking, now.
    -I feel objectified physically in a sometimes positive and sometimes sexual way and I just do not know how to handle that. I have 30 years of feeling objectified negatively under my plus size belt and that feels so much more comfortable. Terrible, but true.
    -I sometimes feel the need to apologize for taking some attention: "Thank you, but really, all I did was finally get my freaking act together, and besides, I still have to lose another 60lbs before I'm lovable" ok that's subtext, but you get my drift...

    So, yeah, I'm basically a mess, but I am so much less of a mess than I used to be.
    As much as I want to hide from everyone, more and more of me wants to be seen. So I share pictures every once in a while and I let them comment and I cringe and have my inner dialogue and then I just keep doing what I'm doing hoping it gets easier.

    PS: Have you noticed how much nicer people are to smaller people. I mean, I'm still obese, but 210 lbs is much more normal sized than my former weight and people *see* me now. It's bizarre. I know it's not because my attitude changed. Because honestly, I've always been pretty nice and outgoing and lately I feel like I'm too busy to be as nice as I used to be, but people are holding doors and looking me in the eyes and stopping at crosswalks... It's freaky.
  • bigsargemoss
    bigsargemoss Posts: 1
    Options
    Take the compliment! Honestly, if given the choice, I'll take "cheerleaders" over "haters" anyday. I motivate myself, but the encouragment is always nice!

    I'd say don't make it weird, and just say "thank you"!!
  • ozigal
    ozigal Posts: 173 Member
    Options
    I guess that when I was obese I would cringe when people spoke about my weight. Now that I have lost a lb or 2 I still expect to feel the same way. I hated photos of me before and was rarely in any pictures. I'm still the same... hate photos.

    i hadnt told any of my fb friends what I was up to for 6 months. My closest friends knew and the people I saw regularly knew but that was about it.

    Now that I have "come out" on fb and people have seen the difference, I got loads of compliments and yes, they make me feel a little uncomfortable but i am getting used to trying to be gracious.

    It's the non-fb IRL friends (yes, there are people who choose not to use fb) who I have to warn before I see them and they are still shocked and yep... for someone who has never had compliments, it really is a little awkward sometimes.... but sort of nice at the same time :)

Categories