"the talk"

kdsp2911

My mom had the talk with me. I kept giggling every time she said Penis.

But public school taught me the rest. Since I started my menstruation at a very early age, I learned quicker than my other friends (I was 12).

A VERY early age is 9...yes... thank you Mother Nature for that gift.

ExploreLoveRide

My mom had a book that she skimmed through with me. Unfortunately, she was uncomfortable, and it showed, so I didn't learn much. I didn't think I was able to ask her anything. Instead, I ended up learning about everything through reading books and then in my Sex Ed classes at school (they started around fourth grade for me).

As for myself and my future kid(s), like many of the other people who've posted, I hope to be more open about it (I feel it's necessary, as sex is becoming a huge part of pop culture), and I want to present the information in such a way that makes me open and approachable for the child/children.

jacklis

Two teenage boys, started talking openly with them about everything and anything they asked as soon as they were able. Used proper names for everything, never criticized them for anything they asked, never laughed at anything they asked.
We talk about masterbation at the dinner table, if that's what they wanna talk about, I give them straight answers and don't care what they ask about as long as they keep talking to me and my husband about what's on their minds.

edited to say: If they get gross and graphic at the dinner table I ask if we can talk when I am done eating... :sick:

abbyrae1

No matter how you do it, it will probably be awkward. My mom took me to a class for Moms and Daughters; I think I was like 8 years old...I was embarrassed but it was a good way for me to learn about puberty and sex in a safe environment that was informative (it was at a local hospital, free class I think). As I got older, I became more comfortable with talking to her about things; she and I never felt like sex was a taboo topic of conversation.... I think if you establish open communication with your kids they will be more likely to talk to you about things they might have questions about. My mom was always realistic about things with me too; she said obviously I want you to wait until you get married but if you have questions let me know; protect yourself, etc. this made it easier to talk to her about things.

sullus

I've got 2 boys. "The talk" was:

Close your door.
Flush your tissues.
Let mom continue to live in the world in her head where HER boys don't do this.

But in all seriousness - one time my eldest asked me "so what makes the white stuff come out?" I started into an explanation of nerve endings, pleasure receptors, emotional factors, all leading up tot he moment of ..

he says "no no no. which muscle pushes it out?"

Ohhhhhh!! an easy question!! Ok so there's this series of sphincters ...

thatsillyshana

u must be watching Dr Phil too...

I wish I was watching it! I'm taking a human sexuality course and I feel a little peeved that everyone knows what they're talking about, but I know very little because talking about sex was pretty much banned from my house.

Flab2fitfi

I'm just open with my kids and give them appropriate information for their age when they ask questions. I also have quite a few books laying around the house about where babies come from - aimed at different age groups which they like to read. i dont think there is a ny difference talking about sex then any other subject -its natural and important part of life. we also talk about how sex is special and relationships being important etc.

Sometimes if I'm watching something on TV about relationships I'll ask my teenager if he has anything he wants to know and we have had good chats about relationships etc.

sweetpea03b

Wow. I don't look forward to this at all... probably because my parents sucked at teaching me this stuff. My mom gave me a book that talked about the feelings and blah blah blah but I was REALLY confused about what exactly sex was... I think I ended up looking it up online or something. I think the book idea is a good source of information if it actually INFORMS.

But, openly talking about sex was never an option in my house. My parents stopped talking to me when I moved in with my boyfriend when I was 21. So.. yeah. I think just being open and talking about it will avoid a lot of issues in the future. Obviously you don't want to hand your kid a box of condoms and say "have fun" but making them feel embarrassed or ashamed of it only makes things worse and lead to unprepared, early sex having (IMHO).

Good luck!

KristysLosing

My mom read me the book she had gotten at school when she was my age. She later bought a couple of books which are wonderful and I hope to share them with my kids when they get a little older. It will probably be a little awkward regardless...but maybe if you keep your cool and act like it's not so awkward, maybe that will promote a relaxed atmosphere? Maybe, maybe not. But it's worth a try! They were called something like "What's happening to my body?" and "Where did I come from?"

jessmart83

Unfortunately I have already had to have a G rated sex talk with my 5 year old. Her friend who is 6 was having Barbie and Ken have sex. So naturally my daughter came home wanting to know what sex was. Plan on having another one in a few years, at least she kind of knows what it is now. But told her it is something she probably shouldnt openly discuss in Kinder.

TedStout

Two boys. Was really awkward but useful I think. Just my opinion but its not about "what goes where and why" but more a chance to talk about sex from an emotional perpective. IMHO.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

How will I explain sex to my child?

HBO

She'll just dry hump everything and think she's having sex.

jkandktmom

Basically: Insert Flap A into SLot B repeatedly until Flap A pukes a little

Or in your case A LOT!

Mr_Bad_Example

How will I explain sex to my child?

HBO

She'll just dry hump everything and think she's having sex.

No, that's what happens if she watches MTV. Also, I want that gif on a t-shirt.

TedStout

I've got 2 boys. "The talk" was:

Close your door.
Flush your tissues.
Let mom continue to live in the world in her head where HER boys don't do this.

But in all seriousness - one time my eldest asked me "so what makes the white stuff come out?" I started into an explanation of nerve endings, pleasure receptors, emotional factors, all leading up tot he moment of ..

he says "no no no. which muscle pushes it out?"

Ohhhhhh!! an easy question!! Ok so there's this series of sphincters ...

Laugh! LAUGH! GUffffaaahhhh!

Two boys...I can relate.

leahestey

If my kids ask me questions, I tell them straight up what's what. It was much easier when I got pregnant with my last one. I explained that it takes a daddy and a mommy to make a baby and mommy's belly is the house for a while. They know the different ways a bay can come out (I have had both c-sections and natural births). If they ask more specifically how it happens, I will tell them. I also make sure that they know whatever they chose to do, I still love them. (Not that I WANT anything to happen too early)

operation_cute

If their young, answer questions as they ask them no more no less, and be honest. If their older and you think its time, wait for something on tv that could bring up the topic, its easier if they think its just a conversation your having because of what their watching than if you said come here its time for "the talk" The goal is to open the topic, and let them understand its normal, (without saying its normal, that just instantly makes kids uncomfortable lol) and that they can say anything, and come to you for anything.

traceytwink

We have always been open and honest about sex we have never been embarrassed even when my son was talking about mastebation and asked if girls help boys to do it we said yes when your older they will then he turned to me and asked do you do it to daddy ????, we have always been of the opinion that if they ask tell them what they want to know, they will soon say when they've had enough information, we've told our kids to try and wait until at least 16 and to sure they use a condom, I've said if they are embarrassed to buy them I will get them, don't make sex a taboo because they will hide things from you then, my daughter has been asking a sorts of questions from a young age and can't wait to start her period (she will regret wanting it when it comes lol) but she knows what to do and is prepared for when it comes unlike a lot of her friends good luck with your chat and just let your child lead it xx

ItsCasey

Yeah, my parents didn't initiate that talk with my sister or me, just my brother.

My sister is the type who feels absolutely no shame in asking all the embarrassing questions, though, so she eventually just asked my mom everything she wanted to know.

True to form, I learned about sex from a book at the library, and I asked my brother some stuff. One time I was doing laundry, and I found a condom in his pants, and I didn't tell anyone because we had each other's backs. But I told him if he got some girl pregnant, Mom would probably chop off his penis, and he explained how condoms worked.

ironanimal

I don't have kids, but my dad just asked me one day if we needed to have the talk. I was going out to a shopping centre with two girls, so fair dos. I declined, however.

CindyRip

I had a set of books that was set up on age appropriate topics. Early years read more like a story, and it had parental advice in the back. I just went to get the name for you and I guess the last person to borrow them forgot to return them. I think a lot of my kids friends learned from these books and my kids. They would hear stuff and come to my house to find out if it was true, many just asked me outright but some had my kids ask me and others just asked for the books. I never gave out age inappropriate information unless they had heard something somewhere else and then I kept it to the simplest explanation that I could. If kids feel they can talk about this at anytime they have a tendency to only ask the questions they want to know about at the time. I kept the talks light hearted and answered honestly if I did not know something.

backpacker44

My parents never had "the talk" with me. I learned through friends and school....and I think I turned out just fine. :happy: But in today's society, it's probably better to discuss it, however awkward it may be.

Same here. I learned about sex and things at school wayyyy before my mom ever thought I'd need to know about it.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I plan on just talking about sex in age appropriate ways throughout her life so it's not this BIG deal. Bodies and sex are nothing to be ashamed of.

jill604

I don't even remember when my mom talked to me about sex. It was never awkward talking to her. I would have to say in the beginning it was definitely more about the basics of how babies were made etc. It wasn't until I got a little older that we talked in detail (orgasms etc.) but I think you just have to be comfortable with your kids, don't go into too much detail early in their lives and trust that they'll be smart about future decisions when it comes to sex.

chesq77

ive never gotten the talk before...my dad sometime finds my condom boxes when hes putting my laundry away, he looks at me and wink haha thats the only response ive ever gotten

iWaffle

josavage

My ex told our son that he couldn't have any more kids because he got fixed, kind of like the dog. My son, completely shocked, said "you got your balls cut off?" So then I had to have the talk. I bought a very good book and I told him we could read it together or he could read it by himself and ask me questions. He chose to read it on his own and he did ask questions. His school also gave a pretty good talk to the kids and he seemed to understand a lot more after that. I think the book was in 3rd grade and the school talk was in 5th.

binglebandit

My mom was the school nurse. She'd show us two or three videos and ask us which one was more interesting to show the students. XD She also gave us a book that we'd flip through from time to time, but really you don't need much after watching a billion sex ed vids.

keem88

not sure if there is any way that isn't awkward.
all my mom told me was if i had sex i was going to hell, never got a talk from my parents.
i would just tell them how it is, don't assume schools will teach anything.
maybe when they're in middle school or hitting puberty, lay out the facts to them. promot abstenence but make sure you teach them about safe sex so they do know if they do end up being sexually active. you don't want them learning things from their friends.
maybe have them listen to let's talk about sex by salt n peppa. just kidding.

ChanceTakr2131

I have a 10 year old and a five year old, and I've only had "the talk" with my older one, obviously. My mom gave me a book and told me she lost her virginity at 15. That's it!! So, what I have done is explained puberty to my daughter and then told her some very basic things about sex, nothing too graphic and I used the appropriate terminology. I also explained that her friends would tell her things that might not necessarily be true, so she could always come to me if she has questions. I bring up the subject of boys and puberty every now and then to keep an OPEN DIALOGUE. That is very important because it helps them feel more comfortable and us because, let's face it, sex is not an easy subject to discuss with a child! As she gets older, I'm not going to put any restrictions on sex, but I am going to ask her to be honest with me and use caution. Maybe I'm not very conventional, but I wish my parents had been more lax about it instead of telling me "it's okay for your brother to have sex at 14, but not you!!" So guess who lost their virginity at 14? Yours truly. That's not what I want for my kids.