how do you interpret this text?

TheMiddlePath
TheMiddlePath Posts: 230 Member
in Chit-Chat
been involved with a guy since july. we were never officially bf/gf. stopped seeing each other fiirst of march. one of last communications was day before st patty's day when thatmorning after he and I were texting (he lives 45 miles away) the night before, I got a text from his phone saying "can you please stop texting my man"

he tried to call after but I didn't answer. it's been basically no contact since then - nearly 2 months.

I broke down and text him tonight and said I missed him. I asked if he sill had a gf (referring to skank above) he replied with 2 texts:

"Idk"

"You might know her"

How do you interpret his reply? (we don't know anyone in common)
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Replies

  • Paraflier17
    Paraflier17 Posts: 70


    it's been basically no contact since then - nearly 2 months.


    I'd say move on to someone else. Either he is with someone else, or this guy likes head games.
  • TheMiddlePath
    TheMiddlePath Posts: 230 Member
    I want to! But I can't seem to let go. Could he be referring to me?
  • Paraflier17
    Paraflier17 Posts: 70
    Maybe... but why not just say so? Historically, people that like to play games don't do it less with time. :) Sounds like he moved on, to be honest. No sense in hanging around with a 'maybe', right?
  • TheMiddlePath
    TheMiddlePath Posts: 230 Member
    You are right. And I know this is going to sound like an excuse for him...but he's a Marine with PTSD. He's had it rough coming back.
  • Paraflier17
    Paraflier17 Posts: 70
    That may very well be the case.... But do you feel like finding a boyfriend? Or a project? :smile:
  • sarahtonin015
    sarahtonin015 Posts: 193
    What I don't get about girls, and I don't mean this offensively, is why you're so quick to hate on the GIRL but make excuses for the GUY. :S Lol This is why I hang out with mostly guys haha You call this girl a skank when all she did was text you and ask you to stop texting "her man" - what if SHE was his girlfriend and discovered that he had been texting other girls in an inappropriate way, you being one of them? It seems more like HE is the two-timer who isn't being faithful to ANY girls, but yet you don't seem to be placing the proper blame on him. Sounds more like you two girls were both being played and this guy is a doucher. Do yourself a favour and move on because you deserve better, you really do.
  • TheMiddlePath
    TheMiddlePath Posts: 230 Member
    Touche.

    It's so much easier said than done. Tell it to my heart :/
  • YolieCreator
    YolieCreator Posts: 173 Member
    Honestly girl make him tell you what he's saying. If he doesn't say anything then let it go. If you meant something to him he would have tried harder when whoever that was said stop texting my man. Best to let it go and if HE tries to come back and start over make it be something real not casual
  • jimandpam87
    jimandpam87 Posts: 62 Member
    Yeah no, you need to run from this dude. Far away and fast. Trust me, I've been with a guy (also military, not that it matters) who liked to play games. IT DOESN'T WORK. You will get hurt.

    Also, why is the other girl a "skank"? You said yourself you were never officially dating.
  • Paraflier17
    Paraflier17 Posts: 70
    Honestly girl make him tell you what he's saying.

    Sounds like he already has. :) Chalk it up to learning exp. and move on.
  • TheMiddlePath
    TheMiddlePath Posts: 230 Member
    sorry - just think texting me from his phone was skanky. I know she was a girl he hooked up with a few drunken times. she's not a skank - her behavior was skanky....to me.
    .
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    What I don't get about girls, and I don't mean this offensively, is why you're so quick to hate on the GIRL but make excuses for the GUY. :S Lol This is why I hang out with mostly guys haha You call this girl a skank when all she did was text you and ask you to stop texting "her man" - what if SHE was his girlfriend and discovered that he had been texting other girls in an inappropriate way, you being one of them? It seems more like HE is the two-timer who isn't being faithful to ANY girls, but yet you don't seem to be placing the proper blame on him. Sounds more like you two girls were both being played and this guy is a doucher. Do yourself a favour and move on because you deserve better, you really do.

    this. if u guys haven't talked he must have moved on by now. dont text him for your own integrity and pride. maybe u just haven't met anyone else in the meantime. its one thing i have realized, if a man wants to be with a woman there will be no games. he will just make it clear and make it happen. the end.

    one of the guys from the single peeps thread posted this once:
    nowadays we get caught up blaming games for things not working out with people but its pretty simple: either they want to be with you or they dont.

    i thought it was mean at first but the more i read it the more it made sense. good luck :flowerforyou:
  • sarahtonin015
    sarahtonin015 Posts: 193
    But to answer your question, it's pretty simple:

    -You asked him if he still had a girlfriend
    -He first answered "idk", and we all know what that means. The answer is either YES or NO. "Idk" means yes.
    -Then he says, "You might know her," meaning that there IS a "her" and she is more than likely his girlfriend

    All the more incentive, on top of his playing ways it seems, to let go. I know it's hard but you two weren't dating and from the sounds of it, there was nothing substantial to hold on to or anything that should've led to deep feelings like, say, love. Sorry if I sound harsh; I don't mean to. I'm just trying to be straight with you because I feel HE isn't, so you deserve to hear it.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member


    It's so much easier said than done. Tell it to my heart :/

    i know how u feel. sometimes we have to just be strong and do what is best for our future rather than try to heal our broken heart in the present. right now it hurts but if u dont try to get over him now and cut ties, u will only get more hurt.
  • TheMiddlePath
    TheMiddlePath Posts: 230 Member
    I don't disagree with anything you all have said. and I appreciate your replies. I have told myself all of the above.

    I have tried to get over him but there is an intense gravitational pull.

    it is gross.

    my reply was:

    "if you are with someone I might know, I want to throw up." though since we don't know anyone in common - I added... "if you mean something else, be more clear. I've already made an *kitten* out of myself too many times :/" (referring to being open about my feelings)

    and obviously...no reply. which is why I posted the thread. gross.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    What exactly didn't you get?

    "Can you please stop texting my man?" - His girlfriend went through his texts, saw your texts, he probably told her that you're just some crazy chick who's been stalking him, so she sent that text to make sure you know he's taken.

    "IDK"- I do have a girlfriend, but I don't want to tell you that because I think there's still a chance that I might bang you once in a while. I don't want to flat out lie and say I don't, because then you'll want to BE the girlfriend, and I am not interested.

    "You might know her" - You might know her, if you do, please don't tell her.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Well, this is about absurdly idiotic.

    He has a girlfriend.

    He wasn't referring to you.

    Move on and stop being desperate.

    Speaking of desperate...how YOU doin?
  • new_bella
    new_bella Posts: 199 Member
    I love this quote from Maya Angelou: "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them"
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    i'm sorry, what needs to be interpreted? everything you wrote was clear as day
  • kindasortachewy
    kindasortachewy Posts: 1,084 Member
    He's Just Not That Into You
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Guys don't value easy, putting yourself out there just made him feel good about himself having hit it soo good that you can't let go. You have two options walk away with whatever pride you have left but you don't seem to want that option. Which brings us to the second option, go all psycho on him. I'm talking about showing up at his place unannounced wearing scandalous outfits, texting him 50 times a day, call him at work, claim you are pregnant with his love child (doesn't matter if you had sex or not, say you withdrew some when he was asleep). At that point he will be forced to love you or take out a restraining order, either way you will be back in his life.

    Idk = it's not official just like you guys weren't.

    You may know here = when we were hooking up, I saw someone who struck my fancy and I'm hitting it now. There is a remote chance that you noticed and that is why I think you might know her.
  • Justjamie0418
    Justjamie0418 Posts: 1,065 Member
    Maybe he's hooked up with someone on your facebook friends list, which is why he thinks you may know her. or maybe he met someone else in your town you are just not aware of it yet.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    See if I were talking to a man and got the text "stop texting my man"
    A) she wouldn't be a skank
    B) he would be
    C) I would run far away, he is trouble.


    As for "idk" and "you might know her"
    Idk = yes (but I am looking are you offering?"
    You might know her = but if we do talk keep it on the DL Cuz IDK!
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Drama. Grow up.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    3rj60y.jpg
  • TheMiddlePath
    TheMiddlePath Posts: 230 Member
    if his reply was just 'idk' then I would think all the same things about it not being official or he's open to whatever.

    it was just the 'you might know her' that threw me off since we don't know any of the same people, he doesn't have FB, and LA is such a big city.

    but this is all very helpful.
  • needles85365
    needles85365 Posts: 491 Member
    I know I should just ignore this posting but what are you 12? Grow up!
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    You deserve better in a relationship :flowerforyou:
  • Kmanouchehri90
    Kmanouchehri90 Posts: 81 Member
    Don't get involved with someone with PTSD unless you have to (i.e. already married/in a relationship with before PTSD kicks in). It is one of those really rough journeys, and although he should seek out help and support of friends and family it is wrong of him to even consider starting a relationship, and it is a really bad idea for you to consider starting one with him. Maybe in a couple years if your paths cross again and he's mentally stable.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    It means stop texting somebodys elses man....

    If he's NOT denying he's got somebody else (which I woulda checked first to make sure somebody else wasn't doing a prank) then this means you're the other woman. How is this not a simple thing to understand?

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