Anyone else have an Uber-Picky Eater Child?

laurynwithawhy

I don't have a child, but I used to work for a pediatrician, and parents were constantly asking this question. Here is the standard answer: There are a lot of ways to trick your kids into eating healthy foods. Some involve creative cooking, some sheer force. Most are time consuming. Bottom line, a normal healthy child won't starve themselves. So if you make it so that broccoli is what's for dinner, and if you don't eat it, you go to bed hungry; Eventually your daughter will eat her broccoli so she doesn't starve and that will be that. Now, she might not like it, but she will eat it. It's up to you to decide how important it is for her to eat these things, and whether it's worth forcing her.

Also, my best friend's 6 year old daughter will only eat pizza and french fries when her mom is around. She will throw crazy fits. Whenever I babysit, she knows that is not an option and her auntie doesn't play that. She eats her vegetables when I'm around, and doesn't complain about it. Maybe trying a sterner approach ("You need to eat this" vs "Would you like to try this") could be an idea. But 10 is a hard age, she's almost at the point where she can fix her own food and might just grab a bowl of cereal instead of eating your dinner. Good luck!

ChapinaGrande

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

A valid point of view. Is a problem with my generation.

Ever hear the comedian Dave Barry comment on what kind of food is best for dogs? His answer: 'brown'.

HA! I love Dave Barry!

I'm with the above poster. We have rarely had moments of pickiness in our house. IF I make a main dish that I know she hates or is too spicy or something, I'll make her a PB&J with some of the sides that everyone else in the house is having. However, if there is something new or something she hasn't liked before, the rule is that she has to eat one bite. If she doesn't like it, that's OK, she doesn't have to eat it, but I'm not making her anything else and she doesn't get any other food for the rest of the night. As another poster said, if she's hungry enough, she'll eat. She will not starve herself. I never buy chicken nuggets and whatnot. She can only eat what I offer and if I don't offer them, she can't "only eat" them. Good luck with your situation.

glovepuppet

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

At 3 years old, my daughter does not understand this concept, yet.

I have a extremely picky eater. So, doing the whole "one dinner" deal doesn't work.

My 2 year old 'gets' this.

that's utterly fabulous for you.
of course, all kids are different. you'll get kids with autism who'll only eat yellow food, as an extreme.
given identical situations, different children will not react in an identical way.

aimforhealthy

I have yet to meet a 3-year-old that WASN'T a picky eater. We develop tastes for variety as our tastebuds mature. Your young child being picky is NORMAL. Just keep introducing kid-friendly foods at every meal and little by little they'll start trying things.

Compare the number of picky 3yos to the number of picky 25yos and you'll understand that most people grow out of it. Try to remember it's just a phase and that they do have a right to tell you what they want to eat to some regard. You wouldn't want someone force feeding you something you have no interest in, but you might be able to be persuaded to try something new if it looks/sounds palatable enough - kids are no different.

My son has high functioning autism and as a child he had severe sensory issues that caused him to throw up if he ate certain textures and flavors. He went through a phase where he'd eat nothing but pizza for 4 solid months. Today he is 16 and will eat anything you put in front of him, including foods he used to have meltdowns about if he even saw them on the same table. He is a skinny little Minny at 5'11" and 155 lbs, but that's because he works out with me and we eat good stuff. He has been doing his own research into fitness and healthy eating due to the examples of me and my best friend who is a fitness instructor. Kids change. People change.

I can tell you this, though: Letting your kids have a hot dog as a child isn't what causes life long struggles with obesity.

trijoe

I've got 3 girls - 11, 8, 8. We have an eating motto: You don't have to like it, you just have to try it.

Every week, each kid is expected to come up with 1 supper idea. She doesn't have to cook it (although she's always encouraged to help), she just has to come up with it. We have a shelf full of cook books with pics. They find something that looks good to them, we go over the ingredient list to make sure it fits our family's dietary needs, and it gets a yes or no vote. If yes, it goes up on the menu board, and penciled in for a supper.

Pickyness is HIGHLY discouraged. If you don't like something, pick it out. If you want to keep eating the same stuff all the time, yeah that's not gonna happen. Fast food crap is just that - CRAP! If we have burgers, tacos, pizza, that kind of stuff, they're always made ourselves. That way we can control what goes in/on them, and how its made.

All 3 kids have a well rounded palate, though like all human beings they have things they don't like. And that's okay. But again, they're simply not allowed to be picky.

Teach your kids about food. Kids get picky when food means nothing more to them than a way to fill their bellies. Adults are the same way, come to think of it. Kids are adventurous when their parents are adventurous. They're lazy when their parents are lazy. They're aware of and grateful for their bodily nourishment when their parents are also.

Teach your kids. Teach yourself. As far as "hiding" food? Yeah that's about the dumbest idea I could think of. What does that accomplish? Does that teach your kid that peas are good? NO. It instills in your kid the idea that he/she is right in fighting against peas, even if he/she eats them secretly. So you think there'll be a time when you're able to say, "But Johnny! You've been eating and loving peas for 4 years now!" and he'll suddenly go, "Oh Mother, you are so wise and smart and right! I now love peas thanks to your hiding them from me for so long!"? You've got a lot to learn about parenting if you can see this conversation playing out in your head. Give up the hiding, do the right thing, and get your kids to eat what they know and know what they eat. Hiding is just pointless.

samischell

my kids aren't picky but...

i take them shopping and let them buy any fruit/veg that looks new & interesting. pretty & exotic fruits are great for tempting them.

i cut unloved veges small and mix them into home made lasagna, chili, etc.

i get them cooking. often the food prep, the quality time and the pride in what they produce creates a more accepting mindset when it comes time to eat.

i have open conversations about food & exercise & health. they aren't lectures, they're a two way street. we talk about their ideas for balancing a meal or their opinions on the future health of classmates who live on junk. whatever they want to talk about, because it keeps them aware of what they eat.

Can i get a like button! I will also add that with my kids if you dont want to eat dinner,lunch, bfast.... thats fine however that dont then get the fruit or cracker or whatever snack in between because they didn't at least eat some of the meal ..... they need to try to eat at least some of the healthy food i prepare for meals to earn snack time treats. but I will not force my kids to eat anything. My oldest has specific things that she just truely doesnt like. she will try it at every meal to see if she has changed her mind but she doesnt have to eat things she doesnt like the taste off.

ksmorck

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

At 3 years old, my daughter does not understand this concept, yet.

I have a extremely picky eater. So, doing the whole "one dinner" deal doesn't work.

My 2 year old 'gets' this.

that's utterly fabulous for you.
of course, all kids are different. you'll get kids with autism who'll only eat yellow food, as an extreme.
given identical situations, different children will not react in an identical way.

I do agree that children with disabilities are most definitely an exception.

swenard

I feel that all kids are picky eaters... Given the choice. I mean... who wouldn't like to eat the best tasting foods ALL of the time, if we can get away with it. I know my kids would love to eat pasta and mashed potatoes and cake, all of the time. However, I can also guarantee they won't let themselves go hungry (providing there isn't any health concerns or developmental issues) for any amount of time before giving in and eating something less enjoyable. I don't mean feeding them cabbage and lettuce but a plate of vegetables, that aren't naturally high in sugar (peas and corn), but broccoli and cauliflower or a bean salad.

I also highly agree with getting them to help cook the food and also help shop for the food. Kids will eat all kinds of new things if they pick it out and also help prepare it; food coloring can also help with some foods to make them more fun. Letting my kids pick out the produce I buy has led to me trying some new foods and also having to find interesting ways to prepare them.

lorieric5037

Kids become picky, unhealthy eaters because you gave them way too many sweet treats and not enough healthy foods from the cradle onward, leaving them to develop a taste exclusively for sweets and salts by the time they're old enough to choose for themselves.

Oh, crap!! I breastfed my daughters...what have I done?!:devil:

amyk0202

My son has high functioning autism and as a child he had severe sensory issues that caused him to throw up if he ate certain textures and flavors. He went through a phase where he'd eat nothing but pizza for 4 solid months. Today he is 16 and will eat anything you put in front of him, including foods he used to have meltdowns about if he even saw them on the same table.

This gives me hope!

tlacox1

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

Exactly my thoughts! Of course, this is how I am from the day they start table food so they pretty much eat anything. My four year old won't touch corn because he says that is for deer (we are hunters) but other than that, pretty much anything goes. They eat what is on the table or nothing at all. If they choose to not eat it, I let them know that they better not ask for a snack later. Once they learn what hunger is and that I won't cave, they eat and learn that they actually like the stuff.

LauraMacNCheese

My 8 year old son is the pickiest thing on the planet. Example, he likes McDonald's cheeseburgers (:sick:); but won't eat spaghetti sauce that has hamburger in it. EVERYTHING is chicken. My friend made us breaded tilapia one night for dinner. Had I told my son it was fish, he would've refused. Told him it was chicken & he scarffed it down. Steak is tricky because it's not white meat...but usually once he takes a bite, he wolfs it down.

He has been better in recent months about at least trying new things, though. I seriously considered going outside & looking to the mountains to see if the 4 Horsemen were there when he asked me for more green beans a while back. And then just this weekend I didn't have to fight him to get him to eat some broccoli. I've sent him to bed without dinner a couple of times...so he's learning that he eats what's put in front of him or he doesn't eat. I catered to him for too long (my own damn fault); so it's taking some time to break him of these habits. I try to get new things for him to try. I have resorted to bribery (if you eat it you can take your scooter for a spin) or if he doesn’t eat, he doesn’t get dessert…stuff like that.

Of course, it doesn’t help that I’m pretty picky myself :embarassed:

maiaroman18

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

I won't make a second dinner, either.


Ain't nobody got time for that.

I don't cater, either. If my daughter doesn't like what I cook, she makes herself a peanut butter sandwich.

My sister in law steamed vegetables in beef broth because my brother (he's almost 30) refused to eat them. He'll eat broccoli and carrots this way.

aimforhealthy

My son has high functioning autism and as a child he had severe sensory issues that caused him to throw up if he ate certain textures and flavors. He went through a phase where he'd eat nothing but pizza for 4 solid months. Today he is 16 and will eat anything you put in front of him, including foods he used to have meltdowns about if he even saw them on the same table.

This gives me hope!

Hang in there Amy I did insist my son try things he refused to. Sometimes he liked them and sometimes he didn't. Again, this is NORMAL. This is part of being human - finding out what you do and don't like. Kids' likes and dislikes should be respected as much as anyone else's IMHO but kids also benefit from being introduced to new things they can try.

My biggest successes were always when I tried introducing foods that were "like" foods he already liked. Oh, you like broccoli? Try some cauliflower - it's like broccoli but white! Oh, you liked cauliflower? Try it mashed, here, help me mash it up, it's fun! Hey remember that mashed cauliflower that was so yummy? I made mashed potatoes today, let's put a little real butter on it and see how good it is! What's this, you ask? Why, it's mashed sweet potatoes - just like mashed potatoes that you liked last month, but this has MARSHMALLOWS! etc.

AbigailClarke48

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

randomtai

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

glacier81

One more thought on this. Commercially we are doing everything possible to make food palatable for our kids; and easier for us to prepare. I guess that's because we are so darned busy. Get off the computer, stop texting, take some time to prepare healthy food for your children and sit down and have a family dinner. NOT IN FRONT OF THE TV.

Let them help you. Let them help shop and pick out the healthy choices.

I have friends that say "My little Susie lives on Ball Park Franks and Kraft Mac & Cheese." Great, She got little Susie to eat. No nutritional value though and she is going to eventually FR Mommy on MFP.

If you don't take the time out to help your child learn about nutrition and make food preparation and eating fun , as well as nutritious, you're not helping them by feeding them whatever they want, you are condemning them to a lifetime of fast food and obesity.

Be a real parent. They'll fight you now, but thank you later.

Amen again!! Could not agree more.

So glad I'm not the only one that sees things this way! And I completely disagree with things like hiding spinach in brownies...all you're doing is encouraging them to eat brownies and not healthy food.

grace42d

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

Ditto! And no treats including fast food, candy, pastry, popcorn, chips, pop, etc. In my house dessert is something like cherries, watermelon or berries. Elimate the possibility of the 'favorite' foods and all of a sudden broccoli looks good.

One time my 5 year old had a friend over for lunch. We had cheese cubes, a little grilled chicken, raw broccoli and fruit. My son loves broccoli so I gave him a HUGE portion. The neighbor kid is 'picky' so his broccoli was miniscule. He looked longingly at my son's plate and lamented "why can't I have a huge broccoli." Voila - a broccoli fan was formed!

Kttyler87

The ONLY thing that worked for me, my son is now 8. And he will try everything at least once now, when before he wouldn't even look at it. I allowed him to give me 2 things that he can put on a list. Those two things I will never make him eat. Has to be simple stuff , not like what he thought at first haha. He picked mushrooms and corn. Now he eats both! If he didn't want something for dinner his only option was a sandwich and fruit. That's it. Same thing everytime. No variety....that's the key. He would have to have pb & j with fruit. He now will not choose pb & j.....ever haha. He eats everything we eat now! It worked wonders for us. I slowly introduced the corn and mushrooms like a "oops" moment, and he loved it....haha. Good luck, I hope something on here helps you...I know how frustrating picky eaters are!

aimforhealthy

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

I don't think anyone is on MFP because their family let them eat junk food. They're on MFP because they overeat. Period.

Restricting foods for kids is IMHO wrong thinking that labels some foods as "bad" and some foods as "good" without any concrete basis for kids. It seems arbitrary when you're little that the things you really like are "bad." Kids don't understand nutrition or long-term consequences so they just see it as a power struggle centered on food and that, to me, is more damaging than any McDonald's hamburger.

My son is allowed to eat candy and sweets if he wants. We don't keep them in the house because *I* overeat, but when we're out, he's allowed to get junk if he wants. When he'd go trick or treating as a kid, I'd let him eat however much Halloween candy he wanted for days. BUT we also are a very active family, watch food-industry documentaries, talk about fitness a lot, try new cuisines, skew heavily vegetarian, care about the environment and place a premium on organic, etc. He makes pretty good choices for a 16yo and he is very thin and healthy, so if he wants a Klondike bar from the ice cream truck after school instead of carrots and hummus, I'll spring for the $2.

I think that the human mind works on a supply and demand basis - if you make sweets a "special" thing or a reward, they become a scarce and therefore valuable resource. My son knows he can eat whatever he wants whenever he wants it. Sweets aren't a special thing or a treat, so he views all food as more or less equal and equally worthy of consideration. YMMV.

glovepuppet

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

At 3 years old, my daughter does not understand this concept, yet.

I have a extremely picky eater. So, doing the whole "one dinner" deal doesn't work.

My 2 year old 'gets' this.

that's utterly fabulous for you.
of course, all kids are different. you'll get kids with autism who'll only eat yellow food, as an extreme.
given identical situations, different children will not react in an identical way.

I do agree that children with disabilities are most definitely an exception.

that was not my point. that was merely an extreme example.

my point is that every child is different, some are easier than others, and if you're lucky (like we are) to have non-picky eaters that might have sod all to do with us doing it the right way. it's just as likely that we were damn lucky to have had kids who were easy to feed. unless we know something of the cause of a child's pickiness, the attitude of the parents and the efforts the parents have gone to, we have no right to judgement or smugness.

i do not have a disability, my mother followed the one meal rule, never bought us sweets & treats, made us sit at the table. i was quite content to starve. hunger didn't bother me and i still hate her food. i found those sorts of meals traumatic. my sisters, raised in the exact same way, ate pretty much everything she put in front of them and were perfectly content. i eat a wide mix of food now but still refuse to eat anything containing even the smallest lump of onion.

jqh23

My son is nearly 2 and getting to be picky. He will eat anything covered in pasta sauce, so I make a veggie sauce (shred carrots, zuchinni, peppers) in with a garden veggie premade sauce and put it on almost everything.

Grilled cheese and mac n cheese are great place to hide shredded veggies too.

Or turning veggies into fun shapes to look like french fries or tater tots work too. There was a good recipe for zuchinni tots floating around here.

As for fruits, same thing - easily added to healthy muffins for breakfast, or in the form of a good fruit/veggie juice..

saxmaniac

I have three kids that all have the same environment and rules, but they're different.

One will eat most anything, one is very picky (isn't flexible about protein, but eats 4-5 kinds of raw veggies) and one is moderately picky (only eats 1 vegetable, but it better on protein)

You can try this and that, but none are guaranteed to work, and a great many of them will backfire.

There is only one thing that will work - if they eat too much of something, don't buy it. So, if our kids get to "addicted" to something, it goes off the shopping list for now. And you sure don't as hell have to make them an alternate dinner.

As the great Data said, "Perhaps hunger will compel you to try it again".

aimforhealthy

There is only one thing that will work - if they eat too much of something, don't buy it. So, if our kids get to "addicted" to something, it goes off the shopping list for now. And you sure don't as hell have to make them an alternate dinner.

No offense, but I feel sorry for your kids. "If they like something too much, it's a CLEAR sign that I should step in and limit it!" Where on earth did you get this notion? What are you hoping to accomplish by punishing preferences this way? Would you like someone to do that to you? If my kid loves to eat something, I love making it for him. You can't get "addicted" to any one particular food. You're projecting your issues onto your kids. I'm not saying this to be mean, but that's a MEAN way to treat a kid who is honest about what their preferences are to you.

swenard

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

I can only speak for myself, but my extra-thin mother was an overindulgent parent who didn't do anything to reinforce positive eating habits. I've vowed to do things differently and stop perpetuating the problem.

Bibliothekar

...One thing I DO NOT GET is parents who have the one bite rule. "you have to take one bite". I say that every time, and my son runs away from the table, throws the food on the floor, throws himself on the floor, etc. Seriously, how do you enforce that rule???...

When we did it with our girls (now ages 6 and 5) the first few times they did throw a fit. Just stick to it. If they leave the table calmly (or as calmly as you can) sit them back at the table. Now when they say "I don't like it" all we have to do is remind them of the rule that they don't have to eat all of it just one bite.

I also have a child in the Autism spectrum. She will not eat pasta, anything with tomatoes, most meat, peanut butter ("brown butter"), nearly all vegetables, rice, and bread. This cuts out pizza, mac 'n cheese, spaghetti, PB&J sandwiches, any other sandwich for that matter, ect...
We are slowly learning what she will eat without a fight (white fish, mexican pizzas, etc..) and I'm starting to include those in our weekly plan. We don't limit our diet to her food preferences, we are working with her to become more interested in a wider range of foods. It's deffinitely a process, one week she likes spinach salad, the next she doesn't. But the point is to keep trying.

ChapinaGrande

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

My parents were poor and could only afford crap food like fish sticks, potatoes, white rice mixes, etc. They were not indulgent in feeding us worthless food, it was a necessity for survival. So I got fat by learning to eat trash as a child and now, I have to teach myself how to eat. I refuse to have my daughter have to change her entire eating behavior when she's in her 30s and suffering from health problems, so I am heavy-handed for her own good.

Love,
"Super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent" person.

samischell

I dont agree with forcing food on your children. AS a child my dad would put adult portions and food on our plates and we had to finish our plates before we got down. I was stubborn and would sit at the table for hours my little brother would eat everything to please our parents he is now 500 lbs and lives in my basement. i have to watch what he eats because he will eat everything in the cubboard . I am 165. My dad thought making us eat food was showing us he loved us and worked hard to care for us. as a child he never had enough. So it really is a hard cycle to break. I make my kids try everything ant least once a meal but They only eat until they are done/full however you want to say it.

TheRoadDog

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

MFP stands for My Fitness Pal, not My Fat Pal. Some people are on here to maintain fitness, seek new healthy ideas,find people with similar goals.

Or in some case (not going to name names) troll the message boards and make snarky comments.

aimforhealthy

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

My parents were poor and could only afford crap food like fish sticks, potatoes, white rice mixes, etc. They were not indulgent in feeding us worthless food, it was a necessity for survival. So I got fat by learning to eat trash as a child and now, I have to teach myself how to eat. I refuse to have my daughter have to change her entire eating behavior when she's in her 30s and suffering from health problems, so I am heavy-handed for her own good.

With all due respect, I think you are giving your influence as a parent far too much credit.

First of all, fish sticks, rice and potatoes CAN BE a part of a normal healthy lifestyle. Second of all, most of us eat what we want as adults regardless of what our parents put in front of us. It's not like if you feed your kids McDonald's nuggets every day for 18 years, at age 19 they remain incapable of eating anything other than McD's nuggets. Educate your kids, talk openly about food, nutrition and fitness without judgment or pressure, offer a wide variety of choices and let them have a heavy say in what you make for dinner, always encouraging them to explore and making it sound fun and interesting.

IMHO severely restricting children's food for them does NOT empower them to make healthy choices for themselves as adults. Education, modeling good choices and empowering THEM to do so for themselves does.