Anyone else have an Uber-Picky Eater Child?

ksmorck

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

Finding balance in my adult life. I was a super active farm kid & could eat whatever I wanted all day long. Real adult life & a real job, less daily activity caught up with me. Then I had a baby & have taken getting myself back in healthy shape seriously with the help of MFP to set a good example for him.

glovepuppet

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

My parents were poor and could only afford crap food like fish sticks, potatoes, white rice mixes, etc. They were not indulgent in feeding us worthless food, it was a necessity for survival. So I got fat by learning to eat trash as a child and now, I have to teach myself how to eat. I refuse to have my daughter have to change her entire eating behavior when she's in her 30s and suffering from health problems, so I am heavy-handed for her own good.

With all due respect, I think you are giving your influence as a parent far too much credit.

First of all, fish sticks, rice and potatoes CAN BE a part of a normal healthy lifestyle. Second of all, most of us eat what we want as adults regardless of what our parents put in front of us. It's not like if you feed your kids McDonald's nuggets every day for 18 years, at age 19 they remain incapable of eating anything other than McD's nuggets. Educate your kids, talk openly about food, nutrition and fitness without judgment or pressure, offer a wide variety of choices and let them have a heavy say in what you make for dinner, always encouraging them to explore and making it sound fun and interesting.

IMHO severely restricting children's food for them does NOT empower them to make healthy choices for themselves as adults. Education, modeling good choices and empowering THEM to do so for themselves does.

i absolutely agree.

i don't agree with only teaching my kids do do as i say because i say so. what happens when i'm not there? what happens once they're free to decide?

i want to teach my kids how to reason, how to weigh up the pros and cons, to understand the impact diet has upon their bodies, to understand moderation. i want to know that, when i'm not there, i've done my best to give them the tools to make an informed choice of their own.

ksmorck

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

MFP stands for My Fitness Pal, not My Fat Pal. Some people are on here to maintain fitness, seek new healthy ideas,find people with similar goals.

Or in some case (not going to name names) troll the message boards and make snarky comments.

Agree

contingencyplan

My son has high functioning autism and as a child he had severe sensory issues that caused him to throw up if he ate certain textures and flavors. He went through a phase where he'd eat nothing but pizza for 4 solid months. Today he is 16 and will eat anything you put in front of him, including foods he used to have meltdowns about if he even saw them on the same table.

This gives me hope!

I have that. Foods with certain textures make me gag and have trouble staying down. It got a little better. Still struggling with that aspect of it at 32 years old though. A lot of foods just won't make it all the way down to the stomach. Yellow squash, zucchini, eggplant, and other squash family foods are among them. Dad used to hit me when I wouldn't keep them down because I thought I was doing it deliberately. Of course he would also hit me for not looking him in the eye (another area where aspies/autistics have trouble). He wasn't the BEST example =P

desiv2

No, sorry, my child will eat everything.. I dropped a raw egg on the floor this morning and he ate it before I could stop him.. damn dog.

ChapinaGrande

OK - Question to all you 'super-smuggie just suck it up because obviously you are an overindulgent parent' people - if it worked so well for you when you were young - what are you doing on MFP?

My parents were poor and could only afford crap food like fish sticks, potatoes, white rice mixes, etc. They were not indulgent in feeding us worthless food, it was a necessity for survival. So I got fat by learning to eat trash as a child and now, I have to teach myself how to eat. I refuse to have my daughter have to change her entire eating behavior when she's in her 30s and suffering from health problems, so I am heavy-handed for her own good.

With all due respect, I think you are giving your influence as a parent far too much credit.

First of all, fish sticks, rice and potatoes CAN BE a part of a normal healthy lifestyle. Second of all, most of us eat what we want as adults regardless of what our parents put in front of us. It's not like if you feed your kids McDonald's nuggets every day for 18 years, at age 19 they remain incapable of eating anything other than McD's nuggets. Educate your kids, talk openly about food, nutrition and fitness without judgment or pressure, offer a wide variety of choices and let them have a heavy say in what you make for dinner, always encouraging them to explore and making it sound fun and interesting.

IMHO severely restricting children's food for them does NOT empower them to make healthy choices for themselves as adults. Education, modeling good choices and empowering THEM to do so for themselves does.

Thank you very much for the advice! Unfortunately, the information didn't make it into my response to the OP's question, which was about why I am on MFP because it wasn't relevant, but I already do the things you suggested. I may have used strong, heavy language because I felt defensive (Unfortunately, due to the nature of internet forums, it is impossible to determine a poster's intended tone. I felt a judgy tone in her question that I'm sure was unintentional). I assure you that I am teaching my child proper nutrition and fitness in a way that is fascinating to her and appropriate for my family. Please excuse my defensiveness.

I now quietly exit this thread.

ldrosophila

If your daughter is a super taster then it will be very hard to get her to eat vegetables because she can taste the bitter compounds that you and I cant taste. Is her father picky? Ask her questions...why doesnt she like the vegetables is it the texture, are they bitter, is it the smell.

DO NOT hide vegetables in her food especially at this age if she finds out then she will lose all trust in your cooking and it will make introducing more vegetables harder.

Make her responsible for something like the family salad, or choosing a new vegetable at the store, start letting her, if you dont already, cook. If she makes something or tries a vegetable remember to lavish her with praise. Another is you give her knowledge you let her know why it's important to eat vegetables. Make it fun she loves corn research the history of corn have corn day with all the varieties. Next week it'll be lettuce day or brown rice day. What ever way she eats vegetables is the way to get her to eat them. Unless she has some medical issues/weight problem I dont care if she slathers her vegetables in ranch and cheese. ANYTHING to get her to eat it. Introduce her to new methods of preparing vegetables sometimes the only way I can get the super-uber-picky supertaster of a BF to try anything is if it is fried. He'll eat okra and zucchini if it has a batter. She might love vegetables in a tempura batter. Make it fun, experiment, involve her, and educate her. Good job being a great Mama!

Hellbent_Heidi

No, sorry, my child will eat everything.. I dropped a raw egg on the floor this morning and he ate it before I could stop him.. damn dog.

I think I you :laugh:

lrichardson2360

Kids become picky, unhealthy eaters because you gave them way too many sweet treats and not enough healthy foods from the cradle onward, leaving them to develop a taste exclusively for sweets and salts by the time they're old enough to choose for themselves.

I totally disagree with this statement. for the first two years of my kids lives they were not allowed to have sugary treats of any kind. Not even on their birthdays. Once they turned two, we slowly introduced a small treat here and there. My 9 year old son is a good eater and not into sweets, though he likes a little chocolate now and then and hates soda pop. My 4 year old daughter can smell sugar a mile away and will attack you if you have it on you. Every child is different.

samischell

If your daughter is a super taster then it will be very hard to get her to eat vegetables because she can taste the bitter compounds that you and I cant taste. Is her father picky? Ask her questions...why doesnt she like the vegetables is it the texture, are they bitter, is it the smell.

DO NOT hide vegetables in her food especially at this age if she finds out then she will lose all trust in your cooking and it will make introducing more vegetables harder.

Make her responsible for something like the family salad, or choosing a new vegetable at the store, start letting her, if you dont already, cook. If she makes something or tries a vegetable remember to lavish her with praise. Another is you give her knowledge you let her know why it's important to eat vegetables. Make it fun she loves corn research the history of corn have corn day with all the varieties. Next week it'll be lettuce day or brown rice day. What ever way she eats vegetables is the way to get her to eat them. Unless she has some medical issues/weight problem I dont care if she slathers her vegetables in ranch and cheese. ANYTHING to get her to eat it. Introduce her to new methods of preparing vegetables sometimes the only way I can get the super-uber-picky supertaster of a BF to try anything is if it is fried. He'll eat okra and zucchini if it has a batter. She might love vegetables in a tempura batter. Make it fun, experiment, involve her, and educate her. Good job being a great Mama!

samischell

thank you for above post very insightful and encouraging!

ldrosophila

When I was young, Mom made one meal for everyone. You ate it or you sat at the dinner table all night long until it was time for bed. That didn't mean you didn't have to eat it. She saved it for you for the next night.

We spend a ridiculous amount of time catering to our kids today. My philosophy is, put it out there, they'll eat when they get hungry enough.

Don't even get me started on designer pet food.

At 3 years old, my daughter does not understand this concept, yet.

I have a extremely picky eater. So, doing the whole "one dinner" deal doesn't work.

My 2 year old 'gets' this.

that's utterly fabulous for you.
of course, all kids are different. you'll get kids with autism who'll only eat yellow food, as an extreme.
given identical situations, different children will not react in an identical way.

I do agree that children with disabilities are most definitely an exception.

that was not my point. that was merely an extreme example.

my point is that every child is different, some are easier than others, and if you're lucky (like we are) to have non-picky eaters that might have sod all to do with us doing it the right way. it's just as likely that we were damn lucky to have had kids who were easy to feed. unless we know something of the cause of a child's pickiness, the attitude of the parents and the efforts the parents have gone to, we have no right to judgement or smugness.

i do not have a disability, my mother followed the one meal rule, never bought us sweets & treats, made us sit at the table. i was quite content to starve. hunger didn't bother me and i still hate her food. i found those sorts of meals traumatic. my sisters, raised in the exact same way, ate pretty much everything she put in front of them and were perfectly content. i eat a wide mix of food now but still refuse to eat anything containing even the smallest lump of onion.

Question if you had a daughter like yourself how would you handle the situation? Would you make a second meal for her, would you change the recipes so she would accept it, would you keep her at the table, or would you let her make her own choice at meal if old enough?

If your Mom had handled your meals differently do you think you would be eating onions today?

aimforhealthy

My son has high functioning autism and as a child he had severe sensory issues that caused him to throw up if he ate certain textures and flavors. He went through a phase where he'd eat nothing but pizza for 4 solid months. Today he is 16 and will eat anything you put in front of him, including foods he used to have meltdowns about if he even saw them on the same table.

This gives me hope!

I have that. Foods with certain textures make me gag and have trouble staying down. It got a little better. Still struggling with that aspect of it at 32 years old though. A lot of foods just won't make it all the way down to the stomach. Yellow squash, zucchini, eggplant, and other squash family foods are among them. Dad used to hit me when I wouldn't keep them down because I thought I was doing it deliberately. Of course he would also hit me for not looking him in the eye (another area where aspies/autistics have trouble). He wasn't the BEST example =P

I'm really sorry that happened to you and that you weren't respected in those ways growing up. IT IS OKAY NOT TO LIKE EGGPLANT. I loathe it and won't touch it myself and I am not on the spectrum! Eggplant, zucchini and bananas - the slimy sticky texture just will not go down. It's okay to not like things and not want to eat them! Everyone (EVEN KIDS) have the right to have their preferences respected.

aimforhealthy

Thank you very much for the advice! Unfortunately, the information didn't make it into my response to the OP's question, which was about why I am on MFP because it wasn't relevant, but I already do the things you suggested. I may have used strong, heavy language because I felt defensive (Unfortunately, due to the nature of internet forums, it is impossible to determine a poster's intended tone. I felt a judgy tone in her question that I'm sure was unintentional). I assure you that I am teaching my child proper nutrition and fitness in a way that is fascinating to her and appropriate for my family. Please excuse my defensiveness.

I now quietly exit this thread.

No need to exit, sugar! We are all doing the best we can with our kids. The fact that we are on here thinking about how to feed them in the healthiest and most positive ways is a good thing even if we don't all agree on every point. :flowerforyou:

PlayerHatinDogooder

Just feed them less often.

The hungrier they are the less likely they are to be picky.

FantasticKitty01

does she eat pasta with the sauce? maybe when you make it next time, throw the sauce in a food processor with mid veggies (bell peppers, mushrooms, squash, etc.) and she'll eat the sauce with the pasta and still get the nutrients from the veggies you put in. My 5yr old will not try any fruit, so i try to give fruit juice that's 100% juice.

pinkledoodledoo

Tell her to eat what you make or go hungry. That's what I was always told as a kid.

glovepuppet

Question if you had a daughter like yourself how would you handle the situation? Would you make a second meal for her, would you change the recipes so she would accept it, would you keep her at the table, or would you let her make her own choice at meal if old enough?

i know for certain that i wouldn't bury my head in the sand, as my own mother did, refusing to change her tactics despite my weight dropping dangerously low.

there are things that my kids dislike. we talk about it, think about alternatives, compromise on frequency. i never make my kids eat the things they utterly loathe. i don't see the point in continuing to put cabbage on her plate if she hates cabbage. i cook less cabbage and give her extra brocolli & peas.

i try to emphasise the fun of finding healthy diets you like, not in forcing down yucky greens whist dreaming of yummy candy.

if nothing i did worked, i'd be taking my kid to the doc and asking to be refered to an expert. a lot more teens die from eating disorders than they do from being picky!

glovepuppet

If your Mom had handled your meals differently do you think you would be eating onions today?

nope. i think i just don't like onions.

atsteele

Kids become picky, unhealthy eaters because you gave them way too many sweet treats and not enough healthy foods from the cradle onward, leaving them to develop a taste exclusively for sweets and salts by the time they're old enough to choose for themselves.

blanket statements... so rarely accurate.
there are a huge range of reasons why kids become picky eaters.

Yep. One of the reasons could be sensory. My son has a mild form of autism and I have to make sure that I have the foods he likes or he won't eat. (He's not underweight but he isn't overweight either. He's actually on the low end of the normal range.) He used to run out of the room holding his nose if I was making chicken! LOL But he has improved as he has gotten older. Part of that is that he realized what foods were upsetting his stomach so he could be more confident in trying new foods that wouldn't bother his stomach. Another part of his success in broadening his horizons is that I don't force him to eat anything. But I also don't allow him to eat goodies without eating something of nutritional value first. (Goodies aren't really necessary in our diet anyway... not that I don't make chocolate chip cookies on occassion.) Also, like one person already stated, I let him grocery shop with me or at least ask him what he might like from the store. I try to pick out fresh fruits and vegetables that are in season locally so that they taste the best. Currently he's on a blueberry kick.