Do You Feel More Attractive After Loss?

CasperO

Ya', CR, that's why I said:

,,, until you're talking 'underwear model', most women are fairly immune to sexy bodies, so that doesn't play a big role,

MercuryBlue

Well, judging by the way my husband's been acting you can tell HE thinks I look better.



Either that or I just feel better which is boosting my confidence, which is what is ACTUALLY making me more attractive.

But my butt looks great. I'll admit it.

kwaters7

This is gonna sound mixed up but hey ho - here goes... I feel more ripped by the day and after this morning's weight session, i was pretty shocked catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and to see the definition in my arms hours later and small waist.... BUT...

on the dating scene i've always relied on being the funny, musical or genuine one and never really seen myself in the attractive 'high school athlete' category - i'd have no idea how to work that or slip into another mode. Add to that the fact I've had tunnel vision for the last few months, worked out heavily, shed the pounds, got lean, strong and fit but have dedicated to the extent of staying away from the bars and clubs and havent given second thought to getting back into the dating scene- a friday night is now a chance for a 2nd session of the day and I psychologically like working out when hardly anyone else is..

So, for me, I feel better in my own skin and like Casper, am pretty sure I can look after myself - but i partly hate my old self for slipping so bad. I'm scared of getting into a relationship where i'd have to eat out in restaurants and sit in and have takeways and dvd nights in with glasses of wine and ice cream etc (ie the normal ones :-) where you get comfortable and start putting on the pounds again. So for me, the answer is probably a partial yes, partial no but I must say that for the ladies, where they are bombarded all day long with images that few can compare with, they have an unfair time of it and that if they are on a positive journey and are keeping the sunny side up, the benefits should be enormous - you can tell it from a mile off..

MercuryBlue

As for the sexy thing,,, until you're talking 'underwear model', most women are fairly immune to sexy bodies, so that doesn't play a big role, at least not for me. I have Burl Ives' face, and if I could put Van Damme's bod beneath it I still wouldn't be 'sexy'

Lol. It's true, actually! Most of us ladies are all about a nice-looking face moreso than a slammin' body.

MusicalMe

I definitely agree with the person who said they're noticing their belly more as they lose weight. I still have a lot of weight to lose, but have been doing very well since January. I've lost 44 pounds and have gone from a pants size 24 to a size 16. However, over the past two weeks, I've noticed that I'm seeing my belly more and it seems like it's sticking out MORE than before. I know that's crazy talk because I've lost almost 20 inches off my waist, but that's how it appears to me.

Saying that, though, I do definitely feel more confident. I'm able to wear my four inch heels again, which always makes me feel good. I'm buying tighter fitting clothes and trying to rock the body that I currently have. I still have a long way to go so I'm sure I'll be horrible to live with once I'm at goal...pretty sure I won't be able to stop looking in the mirror. For me, it's kind of an 80/20 thing. 80 percent more confident, 20 percent more unsure.

ryssaan

My husband always is telling me I look slammin' and that I am so much more attractive since I've lost my weight. But when I look in the mirror, a lot of the time I feel I look the same. Don't get me wrong I'm happy with my loss, but I wish I could see it am much as he can. There are a select few times I have noticed and thought "Oh yay! Look at me!" but not too often. You'd honestly think after almost 40 lbs I'd see a differnce, but I don't sometimes. Maybe its because I'm so self consious.

I feel the same way you do. I rarely see my weight loss and I've lost over 20 lbs. Everyone else sees it and says you look great and I'm like I'm no where near where I want to be. I still look "fat" to me.

JoyElizabeth

It's a bit long-winded, but hopefully it's worth a change in perspective.

I have worked on learning to love me and my body no matter what I look like - I recognised from childhood that I won't ever look like a swimsuit model and I've been trying to reconcile to that ever since :-) But it also doesn't mean that I don't check the rear end in the mirror sometimes and then look for someone that has a rear end the size of mine just to make sure I'm on track for all the effort I put in :-0 It helps me keep objective and gives me the incentive to keep going if I'm not at my goal.

Instead I would keep telling myself that I would let my inner Goddess shine out through my eyes and so my aim was to become more photogenic as I grew older - funnily enough people often comment about my inner beauty shining out through my eyes - and there are a lot more "more flattering" photos floating around too even though I'm not yet at my goal weight..

And no, I might not have the greatest body *out* of clothes, but I sure as hell enjoy wearing them and dressing them up - I figure the world doesn't need to see me out of clothes (nothing left to the imagination then, is there?) and so I am also doing my dignity and self-esteem a great service by looking awesome *in* clothes - and it's so much easier too!

I also stopped worrying about clothing sizes and searched instead for accessories to doll myself up with like hats, scarves, jewellery, jackets, belts and boots etc and then I'm not so attached to my actual body or the size tag - that way too I can inexpensively change the base clothes and I get even greater value from the accessories I buy as my rewards, as they aren't reliant on me being a certain size. Plus it's amazing how a simple matching scarf with some bling offset that crazy hair of mine :-)
My daughter is somtimes embarrassed at my youthfulness, but she is also a tiny bit proud that her mum is not a fuddy-duddy and does more exciting things with her life and is not stuck in a rut, like a lot of her friend's mums are.

But I think by taking this approach, it has helped me like me for me's sake and has allowed me to enjoy life again - and my self-esteem is not battered around which helps me feel more positive about my process. In the past when I would lose lots of weight whenever people would comment on how great I looked, I must've taken that to mean "Cool - you've made it! You don't need to struggle anymore," and then I'd stop doing all the right things and go back to my more comfortable ways and would subsequently put the weight back on.

Now I am at one of those what I call "bounce" thresholds, and when people comment I say thanks, but I am more likely to mentally say something like "Cool - I like what I am doing in my life and how I dress up - it must be paying off - Uber-Cool!!" and I just continue with my process - it means that I must be happy with the lifestyle I am developing. As opposed to competing on pounds against other people who I have no idea about their level of contentment within their life, and then feeling miserable about myself - mind you, I am a type A personality, so this is a very strange place to find myself in.

And because I am happy with my lifestyle changes, they are somehow easier to keep in place and I am no longer fighting with myself to stay on track. That's why I wrote on my profile that I just "know" in my bones that this will be the last time I lose this excess weight - it no longer fits in my lifestyle and I just really happy.

Hope it helps you to enjoy your own personal journeys as much as I am enjoying mine.

Kind Regards,

Joy.
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