Denied Job Advancement due to Body Size

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  • GamerLady
    GamerLady Posts: 359 Member
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    Why not ask about the position? Why not ask him why you're not being considered. Communication is key in any job.

    ^^This^^
    You can't complain about something and pretend you know what the outcome is or what someone else is thinking. The person that came to you may not know your desire for the position. People are not mind readers. You want it, go for it.
  • koshkasmum
    koshkasmum Posts: 276 Member
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    Apply for the job. In writing. Explain your interest, demonstrate your enthusiasm and point out your qualifications - especially your exemplary test scores. Tell them why you would be the best possible choice for a job in that department. Do not mention your weight, your concerns about discrimination or the less qualified people they have been hiring.

    IF you do not get a positive response in a reasonable period of time (say, 2-3 weeks), or if you get a negative response, write a follow up letter asking right out what changes or personal development you need to undertake to meet their requirements. Do not mention your weight, your concerns about discrimination etc.

    If at any point they mention weight, body size, body image, etc. THEN start considering suing the pants off them. (OR try again a bit later in you weight loss journey.)
  • bertabird
    bertabird Posts: 52
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    your thinkin' this, or you were told this? Because if you were told this then that is illegal, discrimination. And in answer to your question, yes, I have been slighted and not hired because of my weight.

    Three years ago I walked into an office, and asked about the ad they had in the paper for a receptionist. The lady I talked to was trim and fit and said, "So, you would like to apply for the position?"
    "Yes."
    She handed me an application and said, "Okay, fill this out and I'll be right back." She left the front desk and walked to a back office where a man was seated behind a desk. She said a few words to him, then he got up, walked to his door, looked me over and went back to his desk. After a few words from him to the lady, she walked out and closed his door. She walked back to me and asked if I was finished.
    "No, ma'am. I still have a few questions to fill out." I smiled up at her and saw she was "pinching her face." He nose was wrinkled up and she looked like she had just smelled a turd.
    She looked at me and said, "So, you think you'll get this job?" By now I was a bit weirded out. She wasn't being friendly anymore.
    I thought, "Yeah, I've got a pretty good shot." So I told her.
    She twirled her pen on the desk and said, "No, you really don't."
    I stopped and said, "Why would you say such a thing? Are you the one doing the hiring? If that's the case, I'll stop right now and leave because what you have said to me is kind of rude, don't you think?"
    She smiled and said, "No, baby girl, you just don't get it. I told the owner you were filling out an app and after he saw you he has already decided you won't fit in here because you are overweight. You don't fit the profile. See, the owner doesn't like fat people. He can't stand them. He can't even stand to help customers who are fat. So, if I were you I wouldn't even bother."
    I was shocked and stunned. However, I still finished my application, submitted it with my resume' and left.
    Three days later, he was being investigated for sexual harassment by the lady who told me he didn't like fat chicks. Two weeks after that, I was included in a class-action suit against him for discrimination.
    All I said to him after we won was, "Take that dumba$$. Consider your butt kicked by a bunch of fat chicks." ;o)
  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member
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    Real world - there are positions (like marketing/sales/recruiting) where attractiveness matters. If I'm a client, do I want to go have lunch with the hot young salesperson or the unattractive one. Sadly, the "marketing" person in many instances is meant to be there as eye-candy.

    So true....my cubicle is near our company's marketing department. You should see the beer, energy drink, and cigarette reps that come to market our company from the big name companies. They are obviously, at least in part, hired for their looks. I'm sure these people are good at their jobs, but not one of them is even average looking.
  • JuliaLee67
    JuliaLee67 Posts: 149
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    I asked out a girl once. She denied me. Now, I thought she was being racist because she's white and I'm Asian.


    Turns out that she denied me because I'm a creep and have terrible personality and asked her out by saying "I have been collecting your hair for a while. I think its time I get inside you"

    LOL of the day!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    I asked out a girl once. She denied me. Now, I thought she was being racist because she's white and I'm Asian.


    Turns out that she denied me because I'm a creep and have terrible personality and asked her out by saying "I have been collecting your hair for a while. I think its time I get inside you"

    Were you this creepy when I FRed you?


    :flowerforyou:

    Nope, my creepiness began way before we met. Theres a support group about MFPers who've had the unfortunate pleasure of seeing my creepiness
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    Many times it's how someone presents themselves. Their PRESENCE says a lot. If a lady carries herself well and radiates confidence, she will run circles around other women.
  • TX_Aggie_Dad
    TX_Aggie_Dad Posts: 173
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    Many times it's how someone presents themselves. Their PRESENCE says a lot. If a lady carries herself well and radiates confidence, she will run circles around other women.

    Unless she is 200 lbs and the other woman is a size 4 with big boobs and a pretty face. What you are saying is the fat girl mantra but it is rarely true. Sorry to break that news to you.
  • nicola1141
    nicola1141 Posts: 613 Member
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    Real world - there are positions (like marketing/sales/recruiting) where attractiveness matters. If I'm a client, do I want to go have lunch with the hot young salesperson or the unattractive one. Sadly, the "marketing" person in many instances is meant to be there as eye-candy.

    It goes both ways. The average height and attractiveness of male executives is greater than the average population as well. We are all human beings at the end of the day that respond to attractive people, even if only subconsciously.

    I'm not saying you should avoid going for the job, just pointing out reality. Yet another reason to lose weight and get healthy.

    True, but I really don't think she should just assume that's the case. Apply properly. If you don't get it, ask why. It might be something you can work on, it might be your weight, it might be something else. You'll never know unless you try and ask.

    (I know so many people who have not wanted to ask because they say "Oh he knows I want the job"). Every single time when then they actually asked for the job the hiring person said something like "Oh, I hoped you were going to ask for it", or "Oh, I had no idea you were interested" or "Oh, I was wondering why you hadn't asked".)
  • AMmom78
    AMmom78 Posts: 1 Member
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    Yes! I work in the legal field. It came down to me and one other candidate. The other woman was hired. A month and a half later that employer called and said person he hired didn't work out and asked if I was still interested in the job. I was still looking for work so yes -- I was thrilled. It was after a few months of working in that office (it was a job share position) that his long time assistant informed me that I should have been the one hired in the first place -- it was a no brainer. But the attorney chose the other woman based on looks etc. Well, she told me "his **** chose the thin, blonde woman" even though she was not qualified and didn't have knowledge of computer programs, etc., etc.

    There is no doubt in my mind that I need to loose weight to get a better job. Absolutely no doubt.
  • Lysander666
    Lysander666 Posts: 275 Member
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    My mum owns a company and we needed a new office manager. One of the guys who applied was stunning [objectively] and they snapped him up. They didn't care, he was so good looking they just wanted him around.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
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    I haven't been outright denied the position but his action truly speak for him.
    Am I wrong for thinking this?

    Why not ask about the position? Why not ask him why you're not being considered. Communication is key in any job.

    Agreed, he might not even know you're interested.
    These are your insecurities speaking, not the actions of your company.