I got dumped last night
JeffInBuckeyeNation
Posts: 91 Member
Don't worry, this isn't a self-pity post. Maybe just a little....but not too heavy on it.
She was the girl I crushed on in high school, and we reconnected last year. We decided to stay away from each other while her divorce was finalizing, and stayed in touch with each other very sparingly. The little time I got to speak with her was always precious, and I thought I was giving her the space she needed.
But apparently not - despite not seeing her since Christmas, she said she feels smothered. I believe that she is transferring her image of her ex-husband onto me, and perhaps freaking out a bit.....but whatever the case, it's broken my heart.
And I am not mad at her - I don;t hate her, I don't resent her. I love the woman, so I can't speak ill of her.
I wasn't losing the weight for her (I was losing it for ME), but she hasn't seen me since I was in the 260's. I was hoping to see her face when she got a look at my 206-pound body. Sadly, that won't happen now.
Hey, at least I'll keep losing weight - I have no appetite, and feel like running a 10K or two this weekend. (Don't worry, you guys, I will not starve myself)
But maybe you guys can cheer me up a bit?
Jeff
She was the girl I crushed on in high school, and we reconnected last year. We decided to stay away from each other while her divorce was finalizing, and stayed in touch with each other very sparingly. The little time I got to speak with her was always precious, and I thought I was giving her the space she needed.
But apparently not - despite not seeing her since Christmas, she said she feels smothered. I believe that she is transferring her image of her ex-husband onto me, and perhaps freaking out a bit.....but whatever the case, it's broken my heart.
And I am not mad at her - I don;t hate her, I don't resent her. I love the woman, so I can't speak ill of her.
I wasn't losing the weight for her (I was losing it for ME), but she hasn't seen me since I was in the 260's. I was hoping to see her face when she got a look at my 206-pound body. Sadly, that won't happen now.
Hey, at least I'll keep losing weight - I have no appetite, and feel like running a 10K or two this weekend. (Don't worry, you guys, I will not starve myself)
But maybe you guys can cheer me up a bit?
Jeff
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Replies
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Seriously. . . It's HER loss! :flowerforyou:0
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Def. her loss and I'd be sure to show her the new you just as a oh sorry, but you lose
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Sorry to hear this, but it's her loss. Perhaps she just wasn't ready to jump into another relationship so soon after her divorce. And who knows, maybe you'll reconnect again. Until then, keep doing what you're doing....you are looking great! You'll have your pick of girls and find the right one for you! Just remember to stay on track with your eating and exercising....all good stuff!
Good luck!
BTW....Love Cincy....I'm a Miami grad!
~Megan0 -
I'm really sorry to read your sad post. I lost a big part of my heart to someone 26 years ago and, I hate to tell you, that I've never really got over him. Maybe she will come back.....if she's the right one for you then I hope and pray that that is the case. Don't allow your sadness to turn you to food, use it as motivation to spur you one. With very best wishes x0
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She sounds like she is a bit mixed up. It's probably better for you (healthier) that you go your way and let her figure some things out. And I agree, it is her loss.0
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i'm sorry but like everyone has and will tell you--it really is her loss. Just keep on trucking your doing great from what I see on your picture and ticker.
Best!0 -
Great job on the loss...weight that is! :drinker: As far as the woman... if it was meant to be... it will be. Good luck.0
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Go running!! Get sexier!! Find a better woman!
Best wishes! 0 -
awwh sorry to hear but I would definitely send her a email saying you wish her the best of luck and then include a pic of the new improved you:) Take this as a extra motivator everything happens for a reason and if shes for you she will come back :happy:0
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The sting will linger but eventually dissipate. You'll always look back at the experience in a good light and build from it. Rock on bro.0
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I'm happily with a guy named Jeff and I highly recommend them, ladies! Haha.
But really, so sorry to hear about your breakup. They can be so painful and you did sound invested in her, and your relationship. Still, you have a lot of positives going for you right now - your exercise, your weight loss, etc - and it always helps to accentuate the positive. Good job so far! Keep it going!0 -
oh no, that's too bad :ohwell: but everything happens for a reason... & in other news, your 206 lb body looks great!! keep up the great work :drinker:0
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sorry, that sucks
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I am sorry
She is probably going through mixed emotions with the divorce... and you certainly don't want to be her 'rebound'. Give her some time, keep in touch, and be her friend, and I can almost guarantee she'll come around. My friend just went through this with a recently divorced man. Almost a year later, they are happily together. 0 -
Just focus all those thoughts into your workout and let all the feelings go. For me it always helps to get my heart rate up and just feel my body working. It will take your mind off everything and help you zen out. Good luck!!0
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Sorry you got dumped :-(
But getting involved with a woman as she is getting divorced brings a lot of baggage into the relationship, she probably needs time to be herself again before she puts herself in another relationship. Maybe try reconnecting in 6 months or so, after she's had some time to rebound for real?0 -
She may have a lot going on in her mind right now and doesn't know how to properly react to the attention. Give her some time and maybe try to message her in a month or so?0
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You are looking AMAZING! Don't sell yourself short. Give her some space and once she sees you aren't dependent on her and dating and having fun, I guarantee you'll be hearing and seeing her. Either that or tell her you would like to grab lunch or coffee and just have a talk about where things are going, "as friends" and once she sees you maybe that will be all it takes. Good luck and keep up the great work!0
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I'm sorry to hear that.0
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Breakups....amicable or not....suck! :frown:
Maybe it's not a permanent thing?? :ohwell: But like someone else said, things happen for a reason...and you look great!
Sorry I don't have an awesome joke to cheer you up...so I come bearing virtual gifts. :flowerforyou:0 -
It's not the right time for her. You sound like a really great guy, so don't be too hard on yourself. Your comments about her are so sweet. Keep taking care of yourself. You deserve it!0
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There's going to come a time, where you will run into her again in the future and you WILL get to see her reaction after she looks at your awesome transformation! Keep up your hard work!0
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So sorry. I know how you feel!0
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Thank you, everyone - I needed this. Also, thank you for not attacking her. That's sweet of you all.0
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If she is feeling smothered and you haven't contacted her since christmas then it sounds like she has a few things to work out within herself. I wouldn't rule out the chances the two of you have, but I would let her have time to work all of her stuff out.
In the meantime it just gives you more time to get even hotter. And once she is on more of an even keel within herself that will make the two of you in an even better place to decide to start something, or to be really good friends, because from what you wrote, you sound like someone who is a good friend to people.
Have a great day!0 -
I am sorry, break ups are hard for BOTH people. But you know what, just keep focusing on you, and getting to your goals and let the rest fall into place.
It could be too soon after her divorce. It took me a long time to be ready to be in a relationship after mine and even then I wasn't ready.
Hugs0 -
Trust me, after you get past the sadness, you will wake up one day and realize you two were not really right for each other and you will be happy for unanswered prayers. As for now, make a playlist to get you worked up and keep you motivated at the gym. Recommendations....
Since You've Been Gone - kelly Clarkson
Stronger - Christina Aguliara
Not Meant to Be - Theory of a Deadman
Irreplaceable- Beyonce
Cry Me a River- Justin Timberlake
You get the idea. Not songs that will make you sad, but more of the "screw this, I deserve the best" type music! Good Luck!0 -
Hugs to you, it's her loss, just keep doing what your doing, I know it 's easier said than done xo0
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She will realize one day that it was the biggest mistake of her life. Remember her loss will eventually be your gain. Having raw feelings is a tough thing to overcome; and I don't want to give you the cliche of time heals all wounds, because it doesn't. One day at a time and healing will come.
Hang in there and remember her loss....
If you need me, I'm here---just friend me.
Peace,
Jackie0 -
Jeff. You are worth so much more than someone like this. She has a lot in her head and her heart to deal with and at this time she apparently couldnt spare any more space for anything more serious.
Use the time and the sting to throw yourself into your weight loss and workouts. Giving anyone the power over you to stop you on your path isnt a good thing and I just dont see you doing that. You appear very sincere and level headed.
I wish you enough......
"Walk toward the light til you find the sun"
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