Is it rude to bring your own food?

I would say not. What sort of food does she make? Is there anything healthy that you can load your plate with and rave to her about? If you consistently praise her for the healthy options (wow this side salad is AMAZING I could eat it every day!) then she will make them again when you visit.

I think maybe instead of bringing your own food you should start inviting her over to your house, that way you can control the meal. I do personally think it would be rude to show up with a whole meal for yourself but if you brought a side dish or two that should be okay. I would start by trying to trade off weeks for which house you will eat at and if she rebuffs that idea start bringing side dishes (telling her first of course). If she isn't receptive to either one of those ideas then start planning for that meal. When you know that you are going to dinner at her house then eat super healthy for breakfast and lunch. Or you could just use that as a cheat meal and chalk it up to a not awesome day.

Hi! I have been in your position before.

I say sit down with her and simply explain that you and your family are trying to be healthier in order to live fuller lives, and this includes eating healthy well balanced meals. Ask her if she would like you to help her prepare the food so that it will fit into a healthier category and benefit all of you.

If she gets offended, remember you don't have to go to dinner at her place. Its optional.

I agree, I talk to her first and let her know you enjoy visiting with her weekly, but you have requirements regarding your meal plan. You might try swapping weeks with her, so she can see the type of meals you prepare, you could still visit regularly and still take care of yourself.

Be the one that brings the healthy dish. Eat a tad of hers and lots of yours. Hopefully everyone else will eventually jump on the healthier bandwagon. You may be the catalyst to get the entire family eating better. It may take awhile, but you never know.

Wishing you great success in your journey to a healthier life!:flowerforyou:

I would say not. What sort of food does she make? Is there anything healthy that you can load your plate with and rave to her about? If you consistently praise her for the healthy options (wow this side salad is AMAZING I could eat it every day!) then she will make them again when you visit.

She doesn't believe in brown rice, doesn't make any vegi side dishes or salads. I have brought a salad on a couple of occasions. She seemed to be ok with that.

Well if that's the case then now I'd say bring your own food. Just make sure to bring some for other people too if they want.

It would be interesting to get the recipes she uses, plug them into the recipe calculator here and see what your macros are for the meal. Perhaps she doesn't realize that she is eating a whole days worth of calories in a single meal. I know that I didn't have any clue what my calorie counts were before I started tracking last year.

My soon to be mother-in-law is pretty nice. However, I still did have some problems working with here when I decided to lose weight. I told her how much losing weight meant to me, and I explained that a slight cheat didn't bother me but when every side dish and main dish she made was outta the park she understood. So she started to add one veggie to the meal...this helped but not much. I then told her one week that I would like to make and bring the dinner the next week so she could have a week off. She accepted. I made something more my style and brought something that was a bit more her style(Meatloaf, salad, vegetables, and baked chicken). She then saw what I was choosing to eat. Now she makes a salad and vegetables every week with her own meal, I also bring the meal once a month. She also usually will make a healthier option of the main meal(aka a small roaster hen when she makes fried chicken). All it took was open honesty. I told her I loved her cooking... a bit too much. And that I needed to lose the weight, I told her how hard I had struggled in the past, and that I was worried about falling off the band wagon again...especially when my boyfriend is a fast food nut and she cooks polish/southern...and my mom is pop/sweet person. She was really sorry and didn't realize it was that hard at dinner.

I would just sit down and talk to her. Don't be mean, don't insult her food as fatty but compliment it as being too good to have a healthy portion of.

If this were asked on an etiquette forum (or anywhere else that's not fitness related) people would be horrified.

I would talk to her and see how she feels about it. I bring my own food to my MILs because she does not eat healthy in the slightest nad she does not mind. We only see each other every few months though.

I think it would be rude to take an entire meal for yourself, but there is nothing wrong with offering to bring a side or the salad and just fill up on that with a little bit of what your MIL made, but it really depends on how close you are to your MIL. If you are very close you might just be able to explain that you are eating a certain way and you would like to stick to by bringing your own food.

I take all my own food when I visit my IL's, but I'm a vegan with celiac disease that can't eat added oils (because of my IBS). Not much choice but to bring food myself. I can't eat hotdogs and french fries for dinner with everyone else or I would be very very sick the next day.

I you do, bring enough for EVERYONE to try it or eat.

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I would talk to her and let her know that i am changing my lifestyle when it comes to how i eat, and ask her if maybe i can help her make dinner and maybe add a few healthy things into it


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