WE NEED TO STOP!!

Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!

Not me. I'm all for the cold hard truth, feelings be damned.

Bashing doesn't mean truth. It means refusal to believe that anyone doesn't think the way you do (e.g. the body we all desire). Not everyone desires the same body.

Bashing is also an accusation commonly thrown when someone hears something personal which they don't like.

Ha. If that's directed at me for wanting an end to Body Bashing then you're way off. <stuff>

Nope. It was directed at what many really mean when they accuse folks of bashing something which hits home a little too them personally. In that context I object to the original statement which I quoted (and can be seen in this post).

Criticism can be constructive and helpful, and in this context could save someone from potential health issues. And if healthy criticism is considered by some to be "bashing", then I do not want to see "an end to body bashing of ANY type!"

Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!

Bumping.

People with body fat % in the range of 24-27 will mostly still have love handles and small pockets of fat on thighs and stomachs. That is a very acceptable and generally healthy level of BF%. I personally want to be in that 18-20% range, but I know a lot of people that would be happy in the 24-27% range and don't think that they are fooling themselves at all. A lot of people think women look better "soft" than "athletic". Why do we have to put that down?

I think the key thing about constructive criticism that is intended to help improve someone's health, is the role of the person giving that "advice". Concerned family member, fair enough, even concerned friend maybe. Health professional, fine. Random person on the street, at a party, on an internet forum, if not asked for said opinions, no thanks.

I think what started out as saying J Lo and Kim Kardashian are curvy and curvy is beautiful turned into some people thinking fat rolls are curves. I can't believe some of the tiny little shorts and crop tops on girls that are way beyond curvy. I am curvy, but I know what is flattering on me and don't wear stuff that isn't. I am definitely not into body bashing at all. I just think there is some middle ground here. Morbidly obese people may certainly be curvy, but that doesn't mean they should think well I am just curvy and curvy is fine. Curvy is fine, but morbidly obese is a death sentence and we shouldn't have people embracing slowing killing themselves with food. Healthy people come in all shapes and sizes too, we won't all be stick thin when we are a perfectly healthy weight for ourselves. But when you are healthy, then you can embrace your curves.

I embraced my curves. I embraced my love handles and my rolls and my flab and my fat. I came to accept it and to understand it. I may have even come to love it for a while.

But that's what I needed to do in order to overcome my depression and gain the confidence to drop the excess weight. Until I could look in the mirror without putting myself down, there was no way for me to stick to a diet for more than a week. Until I could objectively understand why I felt I needed to be fat, there was no way to keep myself from binging. No way to break the cycle of depression and weight gain.

I knew I was fat. There was no escaping that fact for me. I knew that society looked down on me and that I was risking my health. It ate at me psychologically for my entire adult life. And having someone tear me down or "be honest" with me would have surely sent me back into the cozy arms of my flab and a tub of Ben & Jerry's faster than a bad break-up.

Maybe some of you need to be told the truth, but leave me out of it. I'll be over here with my fat-positive friends and a Skinny Cow ice cream bar.

I agree!!!!

Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!

THIS THIS THIS. Love yourself at any type. Never give up in the journey to be healthy tho!

Our poor daughters are growing up at a very young age and knowing that they are already not good enough.... makes me sad.

Wow. I don't know how to feel about this. It kind of makes me want to cry.

Let me tell you guys a story. I've never been "thin". I'm five foot one, and my lowest weight was 110. Even then I wasn't "thin". I still had a little belly and a wide butt. However, I was that thin due to the fact that I had undiagnosed crohn's disease. I always ate healthy, but my healthiest time was when I weighed about 135. Fast forward 15 years. I've had two children, and managed to lose most of the baby weight with diet, exercise, and healthy living. I spent 5-6 days a week in the gym, ate lots of fruit, veggies, and lean protein. Stayed away from white food, and avoided sweets.

Then I got sick. I got sicker and sicker. One day I go to the doctor and faint in front of the receptionist's desk. The next day, my 32nd birthday, I was diagnosed with crohn's disease. This has been devastating for me. I've had 8 abdominal surgeries due to my illness, and I've been put on 70 pounds due to forced inactivity and medication. I had over 50 hospital stays, and had to take such horrible drugs as prednisone, entocort, and solumedrol. Those drugs caused me to gain 70 pounds, made me anxious and jittery, caused anxiety and mood changes, and gave me "moon face" and swollen fingers. I've had many friends tell me that they wouldn't take such drugs, and I've had to take them in order to live to the next day.

I've had many people point out the "cold hard truth." Many people have felt the need to point out the painfully obvious: that I'm fat, a fat assed *****, jiggly, have a muffin top, have a "buffalo hump" on the back of my neck. Point out the stretch marks and the fat round face that is the hallmark of prednisone.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that before one makes a judgement about whether a person is "disgusting" because they have a muffin top or folds, a person should think carefully. How do you know if someone you see on the street is fat due to a medical issue, or medication, or because of unhealthy living? You don't know. You might not know these things about a friend or family member if they choose to keep these things private.

Today I am in remission, and the healthiest I've been since 2006. I dealt with horrible health issues during the wake of losing my home during hurricane Katrina. I won, and I am doing everything possible to recover my health and to live "clean" and well. Yet still I feel like I'm facing judgement even from people who are dealing with weight issues themselves.

I would be mortified if my boobs and hips disappeared!

Each to their own. What I want to see is an end to body bashing of ANY type!

Not me. I'm all for the cold hard truth, feelings be damned.

I wish others had been more honest with me as I'd been gaining weight. I probably wouldn't now be half way through a year long diet if I had smartened up a couple of years ago..

And why is the onus on others to tell YOU that you're gaining weight, etc.... it is not their fault that you chose to ignore the clothes getting tighter etc... lol hows that for cold hard truth

All kidding aside, if someone is confident no matter what their size that is great I am jealous of that confidence, but even greater if they can use some of that confidence/energy to making themselves healthier... no body bashing. People should stop tearing each other down and help build/boost people up, aim to motivate & inspire each other

cheers!

Cheers for a well-written post!

lol thanks!

Wow. I don't know how to feel about this. It kind of makes me want to cry.

Let me tell you guys a story. I've never been "thin". I'm five foot one, and my lowest weight was 110. Even then I wasn't "thin". I still had a little belly and a wide butt. However, I was that thin due to the fact that I had undiagnosed crohn's disease. I always ate healthy, but my healthiest time was when I weighed about 135. Fast forward 15 years. I've had two children, and managed to lose most of the baby weight with diet, exercise, and healthy living. I spent 5-6 days a week in the gym, ate lots of fruit, veggies, and lean protein. Stayed away from white food, and avoided sweets.

Then I got sick. I got sicker and sicker. One day I go to the doctor and faint in front of the receptionist's desk. The next day, my 32nd birthday, I was diagnosed with crohn's disease. This has been devastating for me. I've had 8 abdominal surgeries due to my illness, and I've been put on 70 pounds due to forced inactivity and medication. I had over 50 hospital stays, and had to take such horrible drugs as prednisone, entocort, and solumedrol. Those drugs caused me to gain 70 pounds, made me anxious and jittery, caused anxiety and mood changes, and gave me "moon face" and swollen fingers. I've had many friends tell me that they wouldn't take such drugs, and I've had to take them in order to live to the next day.

I've had many people point out the "cold hard truth." Many people have felt the need to point out the painfully obvious: that I'm fat, a fat assed *****, jiggly, have a muffin top, have a "buffalo hump" on the back of my neck. Point out the stretch marks and the fat round face that is the hallmark of prednisone.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that before one makes a judgement about whether a person is "disgusting" because they have a muffin top or folds, a person should think carefully. How do you know if someone you see on the street is fat due to a medical issue, or medication, or because of unhealthy living? You don't know. You might not know these things about a friend or family member if they choose to keep these things private.

Today I am in remission, and the healthiest I've been since 2006. I dealt with horrible health issues during the wake of losing my home during hurricane Katrina. I won, and I am doing everything possible to recover my health and to live "clean" and well. Yet still I feel like I'm facing judgement even from people who are dealing with weight issues themselves.

First off, let me say that I sympathize with your story and am so glad you are on the mend. Yay you! But I think you're misunderstanding the OP. To me, this isn't about judging anyone. It's about this delusional assumption that fat somehow equals curves and sexy. It doesn't. Wide hips, an ample chest and a small waist = curvy. If you have rolls and look like a tin of biscuits left in a hot car when you get dressed, that is not curvy, that is fat. HOWEVER, that does not make you fair game for ridicule, judgement or hatred. It just makes you fat. Some people are fat. Some are skinny. Most are somewhere in between. Nobody deserves judgement at whatever size they are, and everyone needs to be in touch with reality.

^^This. OP is trying to say that we need to stop telling OURSELVES that we're just curvy. She doesn't mean we need to go around and tell fat people that they're fat, not curvy.

From the view point of a man:

Curves = awesome
Folds = disgusting

My husband says this all the time. Men are nine times out of ten more truthful than women when it comes to the whole "curve" debate. There's a big difference between having "curves" and just being round.

That's 'cause we're wired to tell at a glance!

And useless at keeping our mouths shut.

Personally, I'm tired of "embracing" my curves everytime I bend down....or fold my arms....or to be quite honest, I would love to clap my hands and not hear an echo from my boobs!!! :laugh:

LOL