Grrrrr - people just don't understand
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I sit by the kitchenette in the office. Hard enough to smell everyone's breakfast & lunch, but when a coworker decided that he was going to bring in candy for a solid year??!! He did it. Dark chocolates, twizzlers, all kinds of good stuff. If I left my desk it was right in front of me. What a miserable year! Just stick to your guns!!!0
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While sitting at my desk eating a salad, my boss comes over to my cube and says, "You should have come with us today, we were healthy! We went to Chick-Fil-A!" He was serious. Yeah, people don't get it.
Chick-fil-a has salads and a grilled chicken that is roughly 400 cal. Grab both, ditch the top bun, and it can fit into your daily goal.0 -
On the opposite spectrum, i have lost all the weight and have been on maintenance successfully for a year and did it with moderation. My biggest pet peeve was hearing "oh well we were going to go here, but i guess you can't". or "wow you're eating a cookie? really?"
I haven't given up anything and go out to eat daily since i am a horrible cook with no time and the worst is when people skip offering me a yummy donut (which I eat half of)! Not all days allow a cookie in the budget but i'd rather be offered and make it in the budget if I really want it than be seen as "that skinny girl who doesn't eat anything bad"... thank goodness my office learned real quick that I have the will power to turn their bad things down but BETTER ask me! Lifestyle changes allow for everything in moderation :-) But calorie budget is always in mind... ok do i have the extra 150 calories for that cookie or do I have 75 for half.. or do i have to politely turn down a fatty meal at lunch bc no time for working out or a big dinner planned, but not because i'm on a diet, because that day it just doesn't fit into a healthy lifestyle. (and daily allowance of 1400 calories for maintence)!!
I replied cuz trust me I wouldn't want people shoving that in my face with pressure either so both sides stink!! lol Good luck w/ your loss!! :-)0 -
How dare people want to spend time with you!! The nerve of your friends inviting you out to lunch... Guess what - you're the one trying to change your habits, not everyone else. If you want to actually make the necessary changes to reach your goals, you're going to have to learn how to go out with friends every once in a while without acting like people are actively trying to sabotage your life.
^^This....it's a life-style change. Not crawl under a rock and become a hermit. end/0 -
The other nite I was out of calories for the day (well almost) and we were out with an old friend. He said he had been wanting to buy us dinner for a long time and would we go with him. I didn't want to disappoint him and I know he is lonely so I agreed. We went to a really good italian restaurant, I bypassed all the pasta, ordered a salad with grilled chicken. I sometimes find it more effective to just say I'm eating healthy and that's not good for me or else say it will make my stomach upset, my system cant handle it.0
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While sitting at my desk eating a salad, my boss comes over to my cube and says, "You should have come with us today, we were healthy! We went to Chick-Fil-A!" He was serious. Yeah, people don't get it.
If you get a char grilled sandwhich on their wheat bun its really not that bad... its when you go for the large fry and soda / sugary drinks that you ruin your diet. The sodium content is another story, since you will probably show some excess water weight at the end of the day, but thats just temporary
*EDIT* This is also assuming your are not on a ketogenic regimen.0 -
My husband used to be notorious for this wanting to go out to eat or us eat badly, but I finally told him that I can't do it anymore. I won't go out to eat with him unless the restaurant has options for me. He was also bad about always wanting to eat Chinese food when I was pregnant and nauseous. My Dad also sabotages everyone's diets by putting donuts and stuff in the break room at work.0
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Oh my goodness.. Can I have your friends? I love to eat and will go out with them!
Just because you are trying to eat better, does not mean that you stop living life.. Go out, eat, enjoy, exercise, and you'll be ok.0 -
This is why I am the one who does the grocery shopping in our house. Otherwise my husband would buy microwaveable and a ton of package garbage. I can't stand eating all the processed foods and such. As for going out to eat, pick something like a salad or grilled whatever with any sauces on the side and you should be okay. And yes, lifestyle change it is. I even walk by Burger King and it makes me gag from the smell.0
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Exercise a bunch! Makes up for it 0
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Learn some self-control. No one is sabotaging your diet by making food available. There will always be food available to you. Learn to deal with it.My Dad also sabotages everyone's diets by putting donuts and stuff in the break room at work.0 -
A friend/co-worker of mine (former Marine in excellent physical condition) used to deflect it by jokingly saying "I don't put that poison in my body". It became a standing joke between all of us, but we knew he was serious behind the humor.I hear ya. I eventually had to get nasty with my fat coworkers who wouldn't stop poking fun at my "lifestyle change". I snapped one day and just told them I made my "lifestyle change" because I was tired of being looking like them. Mean, I know. But they stopped. ;D0 -
How dare people want to spend time with you!! The nerve of your friends inviting you out to lunch... Guess what - you're the one trying to change your habits, not everyone else. If you want to actually make the necessary changes to reach your goals, you're going to have to learn how to go out with friends every once in a while without acting like people are actively trying to sabotage your life.
Wow you are well supportive aren't you... I was purely venting which I was sure was allowed on a message board..
To all the others that have posted, thank you - I know it's not a diet it's a lifestyle change and that I can't stop living my life and trust me I haven't - I am making better choices when I go out and I've learnt the magic words "no thank you" I'll get there it just seemed every person today had plans that revolved around food
Onwards and upwards they say 0 -
It's ok that your friends want to go out to eat with you, just eat healthy when you are out and about, no reason to be mad at your friends. It's you who makes the choice on what you consume so you can only be mad at yourself in the end if you eat crappy that day/evening... I love going out to eat with friends, and ask for the nutrition facts so I make sure to try something new but within my calorie limits) ) 0
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You can eat out without destroying your hard work. If you are going to popular restaurants or chains, the nutrition values are readily available online, so check before you go out so you can know what to order. Most restaurants now have healthy options too so ask when you get there. You should never put your social life on hold because of your lifestyle change, instead learn to make wise choices in such situations. I go out to eat with my friends all the time, my lifestyle change has not affected our friendship in anyway. Be smart and make wise food choices, thats all that really matters.0
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Seriously!! How man times do I have to tell to people I am on a diet....
Let's go out for dinner here
Let's go to lunch here
I know let's all go here
Oh I know chelle let's go here
Oh I know you like these doughnuts I'll buy extra and dump them in front if you
Hey it's my birthday you HAVE to have cake
Oh look the vending machine broke at work legs dump all the goodies on Michelle's desk..
Damn it!!
Thankfully I haven't given in but by god its given me the hump!!!!
Love this!!! I feel ya!0 -
Now don't get me wrong, I do appreciate being asked if I want a cream cake or chocolate or sweets of pizza etc, but if I politely decline, just leave it!!! don't go on about it, just because they haven't had the will power to say no themselves. :grumble:
and I love a night out with my friends and I will adjust my eating/exercise to factor this in. There's nearly always a sensible option on the menu and if not, there's no law that says you have to clear your plate. :drinker:
If you indulge on a special occasion don't sweat it, tomorrow is another day. However, you have the right to say no and any real friends should respect this and not bang on about it as if trying to break will is a sport to them.:mad:0 -
How dare people want to spend time with you!! The nerve of your friends inviting you out to lunch... Guess what - you're the one trying to change your habits, not everyone else. If you want to actually make the necessary changes to reach your goals, you're going to have to learn how to go out with friends every once in a while without acting like people are actively trying to sabotage your life.
^^This....it's a life-style change. Not crawl under a rock and become a hermit. end/
For some it's a lifestyle change. For some, it's a diet.0 -
Unfortunately, that will never go away. There will always be saboteurs in your life. Just hang in there and stick to your guns. 0
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I hear ya, my husband is constantly offering my ice cream, and bite of his breakfast and burgers and brats, then I say no and he says one bite isnt going to hurt, then I say no again and he jokingly acts all offended and says "well fine then", ugh0
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Seriously!! How man times do I have to tell to people I am on a diet....
Let's go out for dinner here
Let's go to lunch here
I know let's all go here
Oh I know chelle let's go here
Oh I know you like these doughnuts I'll buy extra and dump them in front if you
Hey it's my birthday you HAVE to have cake
Oh look the vending machine broke at work legs dump all the goodies on Michelle's desk..
Damn it!!
Thankfully I haven't given in but by god its given me the hump!!!!
let me help you with your list:
Let's go out for dinner here <-- GO. Have fun. Eat light.
Let's go to lunch here <-- GO. Have fun. Eat light.
I know let's all go here <-- GO. Have fun. Eat light.
Oh I know chelle let's go here <-- GO. Have fun. Eat light.
Oh I know you like these doughnuts I'll buy extra and dump them in front if you < -- say thanks, dont eat them... unless you can fit it in your calories/macros
Hey it's my birthday you HAVE to have cake < -- eat a bite.
Oh look the vending machine broke at work legs dump all the goodies on Michelle's desk.. < -- run. you're being setup as the vending machine vandal. the evidence is on your desk.0 -
The only thing I would steer clear of in that list is the doughnuts. Even McDonalds does salad so why not go with them but just choose healthy options?
MrDude: totally!0 -
I'm totally a social eater. I just try and look at the menu online so I know exactly what I can have and stay within reason. I totally get what you're saying. I LOVE DONUTS! My honey keeps buying me donuts on the weekend and I keep telling him NO but it's so hard
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People around me can similarly force food on me when I'm trying to eat healthily. I've learned to just anticipate those times and save calories for it. Or if I were offered some cake, for example, I'd just indulged them with a small portion; not enough to throw me off for the day.
Admittedly, it can be hard sometimes, though. This weekend, my mom bought licorice (she likes to binge on the weekends); I couldn't help but grab at least one piece every time I passed through the living room. >.<0 -
You can have one donut, once in a while. You can have a slice of cake on a birthday. It should be a lifestyle change and are you never going to have cake on a birthday ever again? Moderation is key, and it's awesome that you're watching what you put in your body, but it's okay to have a treat every now and again. We're not robots.0
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A couple years ago one of my coworkers began a very strict low carb diet. She didn't announce it to the whole company and only mentioned it to a few of us she was closer with. It took a few times of her telling us that no, she couldn't have what we were offering because of the high carb content, before we really started paying attention. Honestly, we were trying to be supportive, but most of us didn't realize the actual numbers that she was looking closely at. We didn't realize how high the numbers really were.
I found the same thing happen when I started logging my daily foods into MFP. I honestly didn't realize how many calories some of my favorite foods really had until the numbers were in front of me in black and white.
I used to think that one little piece of coffee cake that someone had brough into work wouldn't hurt as long as I ate a healthy lunch. Then I looked it up and found out that one piece of coffee cake would be adding so many extra calories and so much extra sugar that I chose to save those for something else later in the day.
I totally agree with the people who have chimed in here about changing lifestyle, not going on a diet. I won't stick to a "diet". I just won't. Doesn't matter how lenient the "diet" is, just using that word makes me feel like I have to deny myself of things I previously found comforting and enjoyable.
Instead, I am learning that a couple of bites provides more joy than a whole bowl because I still got to have my "comfort food" and all the good feelings that come with it, but I can easily work off the few extra calories and feel good about myself.0 -
The poor girl is just venting out some stress--she didn't call her friends terrible people or anything! It can be hard when you are losing weight to hang out with friends and keep to your plan. It can be hard on the willpower and on having to estimate nutrition info--even restaurants that release the info often differ from what is actually served due to variations on portion size and ingredients.
I also don't understand why when people post these needing support threads, people tell them to eat the doughnut and the cake. What if she doesn't want to? What if she had cake yesterday? What if she's afraid that reminding herself of how good sugar tastes will make her struggle with her willpower that much more all week?
We all say no to foods all the time. It's up to each of us when and how we do that. Even people who are saying that this is a lifestyle change, moderation ... they still say "no" even to themselves. Otherwise, why aren't they the same weight they were before? (Assuming they had weight to lose.)0 -
There are definelty people out there who will sabotage you! I am surrounded by them and I have started to call them on it, it works. I just simply say, quit sabotaging me. I also ask questions about the meal and how it was cooked. I ate out last night and the person cooking loaded butter on all the veggies, knowing I was eating healthy??????? So I questioned her on it, her reply was "oh I guess I shouldn't have done that? Ummmmm duh! ya think! Then there are situations where you just need to stay strong. We have donuts on our staff room table 24/7, everyone who comes in from out of town brings in a big box of Tim Hortons. Everytime I enter the staff room I have to be strong. As far as saving up calories if you know you are going to eat out, that is do-able, but often eating out is spur of the moment, which makes it harder.....................0
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Now I have to tell people "I don't eat that," instead of "I can't eat that I'm on a diet". Indeed, it is a lifestyle change that you are in control of, so put yourself in control. Counter the food/restaurant with another offer of spending time together food free (a walk, picnic (where you can bring your own yummies), meet for coffee/tea, etc.
As for people throwing candy on your desk, well, that's just plain rude. Probably jealous of you and your healthy lifestyle. Anyway, you don't eat that stuff so just throw it in your garbage can. They will probably come and start raiding your garbage! haha
Good luck - I know it's a very frustrating situation.0 -
Barbecues are hard for me. I feel your pain. Try suggesting alternatives to food outings. I took my family hiking for Mother's Day.0
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