Mean People Suck.

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4myhealth77
4myhealth77 Posts: 77 Member
in Motivation and Support
I work at a gym, and my fiance works with me. While I was working out tonight, an older couple approached my fiance to ask him how he put on so much muscle (he is really into bodybuilding). After discussing food, workouts, etc., out of left field just asked him "what is wrong with that really heavyset blonde girl that works here? Is she sick or something?" Of course, most members there don't know we are a couple and we prefer it that way, because we are professional like that. But he was offended and defended me as professionally as he could without being rude to them. I just don't understand why people can't mind their own business and not say such rude things about other people...especially people they dont even know. Secondly, Im sort of hurt that my fiance felt the need to tell me what they said instead of just keeping it to himself. Because, really, it hurt my feelings and I dont see what benefit it was to him to tell me. I dont know. Maybe Im just being overly sensitive today.
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Replies

  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    Wow that was incredibly insensitive of them! Glad that your fiancé defended you, he probably told you not to make you feel hurt, but perhaps so you knew he didn't stand for them to say those things about you.
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
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    Why do you think they thought you might be sick?
  • jyuubi
    jyuubi Posts: 109
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    Mean people do suck, but you know, you should appreciate your fiance being willing to tell you the truth and not keep something from you. Especially when someone had something rude to say. It's true that if someone is talking behind your back and you don't hear it, you don't know it, so it doesn't bother you...but personally, I'd rather know when someone is talking behind my back and what they're saying about me. You know he defended you. I would be happy to hear that if someone was insulting me, that my boyfriend defended me like that.

    If you don't like hearing insults, then you can explain that to him. But I'd be more proud of him about defending you than upset at him for telling you the truth.
  • morgancbd
    morgancbd Posts: 11 Member
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    people can be so mean, sorry that happened to you. that is so rude. and your boyfriend shouldnt of told you cause in the end it only hurt you. sorry!
  • BarbBlue
    BarbBlue Posts: 251
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    I am sorry, that is really rude for those people to say. I agree, that people need to mind their own business. When I hear things like that I always try to remember that certain people - like them, don't mean anything to me in my life so I just let it roll off my back. As for your fiance, don't be too hard on him. He may have just been very surprised and didn't think about not telling you. However, I would be happy he did defend you. :) That's a good thing!
    Cheer up, don't let people upset you that mean nothing to you.
  • Dionysus35
    Dionysus35 Posts: 74
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    Most guys are dumb like that. We think we're doing the right thing and it turns out to be wrong. Cut him some slack. He loves you. Oh, and you're right. Mean people do indeed suck.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    lets put it this way....how would you feel if SOMEONE else that possibly overheard that conversation came up to you two weeks later and told you about it...and said...he really didn't defend you very passionately for a fiance...

    i mean how would your feelings feel then, to know that he never told you about it??? and you learned about it from someone else that may or may not understand the need to separate personal with professional responses........he defended you professionally and then told you so you would hear it from him first...

    I really think he was trying to do the right thing here.

    That's all....

    Lauren
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    He loves you and probably just likes being honest and open (that's a good quality). You can talk to him and tell him that you'd rather not know next time. He sounds like a great guy! I'm sorry that happened to you! Of course you feel sensitive, after that. :flowerforyou:
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
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    I just don't understand why people can't mind their own business and not say such rude things about other people...especially people they dont even know. Secondly, Im sort of hurt that my fiance felt the need to tell me what they said instead of just keeping it to himself. Because, really, it hurt my feelings and I dont see what benefit it was to him to tell me. I dont know. Maybe Im just being overly sensitive today.

    It is human nature to gossip although that doesn't excuse it. You are wise to wonder why your fiance told you about it. Bragging that he defended you? I would never tell my wife if that happened to me, but come to think of it, when I was younger I said a lot of stupid things to my wife.
  • Joneisha07
    Joneisha07 Posts: 49
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    I think he was right for telling you. I would have been happy that he defended me. People do suck and you are here with us getting healthier. Plus you have an amazing fiance! Screw rude old people, sometimes they just cant help it lol.
  • alasin1derland
    alasin1derland Posts: 575 Member
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    He probably was angry and offended and you are the one he tells his feelings to. That's nice that you are that person for him. Also he came to your defense. That shows how much he cares. I agree people are far too concerned with lives that are not their own. Ignore them, they aren't with your time. Sounds like you have a good relationship.
  • lhather
    lhather Posts: 25
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    First of all, you're absolutely beautiful...
    Second of all Mean people will always SUCK....
    and thirdly love yourself - because the mean people don't matter

    :heart:
  • londaknight
    londaknight Posts: 26
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    He told you because he loves you, and he probably feels that him not telling you would be lying to you. Just be happy he's man enough to stand up for you, many women wish they had that. Screw mean people, you caught a good one, and overly sensitive or not, you should be happy for that.
  • paintlisapurple
    paintlisapurple Posts: 982 Member
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    I work at a gym, and my fiance works with me. While I was working out tonight, an older couple approached my fiance to ask him how he put on so much muscle (he is really into bodybuilding). After discussing food, workouts, etc., out of left field just asked him "what is wrong with that really heavyset blonde girl that works here? Is she sick or something?" Of course, most members there don't know we are a couple and we prefer it that way, because we are professional like that. But he was offended and defended me as professionally as he could without being rude to them. I just don't understand why people can't mind their own business and not say such rude things about other people...especially people they dont even know. Secondly, Im sort of hurt that my fiance felt the need to tell me what they said instead of just keeping it to himself. Because, really, it hurt my feelings and I dont see what benefit it was to him to tell me. I dont know. Maybe Im just being overly sensitive today.

    Maybe he wanted you to know that he "came to your aide" and was proud of himself?
  • gaylynn35
    gaylynn35 Posts: 854 Member
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    I am not sure how I would have felt. It is good to know that he defended you though.
  • 4myhealth77
    4myhealth77 Posts: 77 Member
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    Aww, thanks Lhather...I know Im being sensitive. He is a good guy. I know he meant well. I will give him a hug and a thank you. I still feel down about it. I know I shouldn't let peoples opinions matter, and for the most part I usually dont. But Ive been working my butt off lately and just wasn't expecting that. I get compliments at the gym all the time because most of our members root for my weight loss and see the weight coming off. That makes me feel good, but a little self conscious at the same time, lol. I guess I was a little embarrassed that he had to deal with that.
  • CynthiasChoice
    CynthiasChoice Posts: 1,047 Member
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    Most guys are dumb like that. We think we're doing the right thing and it turns out to be wrong. Cut him some slack. He loves you. Oh, and you're right. Mean people do indeed suck.

    This is probably the best post for you. But you should probably take stock of your fiance - being practical and wise could save you a lifetime of hurt feelings. Does he say insensitive things to other people? Or has he said insensitive things to you before? If the answer is yes, you need either dump him, or accept him the way he is. One in a million men change because their wife wants them to.

    Good luck.
  • staps065
    staps065 Posts: 837 Member
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    I work at a gym, and my fiance works with me. While I was working out tonight, an older couple approached my fiance to ask him how he put on so much muscle (he is really into bodybuilding). After discussing food, workouts, etc., out of left field just asked him "what is wrong with that really heavyset blonde girl that works here? Is she sick or something?"

    So why did your BF tell you what they said? Didn't he know that their comments would hurt your feelings? I understand they are mean and rude, but why did he have to convey the hatred to you?

    Just wondering?
  • iKapuniai
    iKapuniai Posts: 594 Member
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    I don't think that's mean. There must have been a time or two in your life where you've said, or thought of saying, or even just thought of something mean. And your BF shared it with you because, well, he's your BF. My man and I share EVERYTHING with each other, even if it hurts our feelings, because we're just that good at communication I guess lol

    Anyways, mean people DO suck, but I don't think that was mean enough to get butt hurt about. ;) But that's just me.

    Keep doing what you're doing. Who cares what other people say/think/feel. All that matters is you; keep working at it.

    Love and Alohas,
    Ihilani Kapuniai
  • da1128
    da1128 Posts: 212 Member
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    Most guys are dumb like that. We think we're doing the right thing and it turns out to be wrong. Cut him some slack. He loves you. Oh, and you're right. Mean people do indeed suck.

    I agree. My husband often puts his foot in his mouth by repeating something that was said and it doesn't turn out so well...his rendition doesn't quite come out the way it was originally said and results in mass confusion and sometimes hurt feelings. It's not deliberate on his part...he just needs to learn how to put his mind in gear before he puts his mouth in motion.

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