I hate myself.

You have tried every "diet," maybe. Now it's time to change your lifestyle. By eating a healthy amount of healthy foods and exercising you will lose weight and become healthier.

But first, you have to care about yourself enough to want to be healthy. If you think you need to talk to a couselor, you probably should. I have been in a similar funk and was able to sort things out for myself but it's different for everyone (I also had the advantage of being extensively educated in the field of psychology).

I hope you find your way. :flowerforyou:

Destiny darling,

You are addressing a group of people who COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND YOU. Many of us have been RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. At my highest, I was 240 lbs at 5'4'', which is close to your size. I'm currently at 150-ish lbs, two years into my journey. I could barely keep up after my little kiddo, and now I can run down the hill to chase her when sledding without becoming winded!!

Read the success stories here. There are no "diets", only learning how to eat healthy for your body for a life of happiness and health.

Turn that sadness and negative emotion into EMPOWERMENT. Decide TODAY that you are making the change that will help your outside match your inside -- a beautiful wonderful woman, mother, and wife.

Commit to your decision. Come to MFP many, many times a day.

Don't let setbacks stand in the way of your goal. You eat too much, then you workout extra. If you can't work out, then you resolve not to eat so much at the next meal, dust yourself off, and start up again RIGHT THAT MINUTE.

You will find that if you join groups on here (there is a 200+ lb support group on the boards), you will be encouraged and receive support from amazing people who really get you!

Good Luck sweetheart. Stick with this. You can make the change in your life that will help you find happiness within yourself. No one else can make you happy, only you can acheive your own happy life.

:flowerforyou:

You are 22 years old - you have your whole life ahead of you. You are a beautiful girl who's carrying a little too much right now, but you can fix that. If you choose to do it, you can accomplish your goals and be a little hottie-mama before you know it. You'll feel so much better, more able to do the things you want to do.

You've come to the right place. This is a great tool that will work wonders. Just take a look at the before and after thread - and remember that the folks with huge successes are just like you, they just started a little earlier. You can do it too, and you will.

This is easy - here's all ya' gotta do:

Cook smart, lotsa good filling stuff. Some fruits, lotsa veggies, some grains-cereals, some starchy stuff, some lean meat. Almost nothing fried (and certainly nothing batter dipped & deep fried), and very very little pastry/cakey stuff.

Count your calories accurately with the food guide here, and stay as close to your calorie allowance as you reasonably can. If you cook properly you shouldn't be too uncomfortable on the calorie allowance MFP will give you.

Get some exercise - work that gym, walk a little every day, something - that's a huge help. Remember to log your exercise and eat at least some (I eat most) of your exercise calories. I know you say you have no energy, but exercise is a self-feeding phenomenon. If you push yourself to do just a little today (it's supposed to be hard,,, it's exercise ) then you'll feel better about it and it'll be easier to do it again tomorrow. Then in a week you'll be able to do more, and it'll start to get fun. In a year you might be running 10k's,,, it's up to you.

And drink your water!

That's it, piece o' cake. Wife and I have been doing it for about a year now and we've done well. Lost 104 pounds between us, and in much better shape.

You said - ""I am at the LOWEST point in my life and I just DONT know what to do.. :(:( "" Is that really true? I think you know what to do - we all know what to do. Eat better/smarter/less - and get more exercise. This website is an amazing tool to help you keep accurate track of what you're doing.

You can do this. Will you? :bigsmile:

I think we've ALL been there. Thanks for being so candid. Our feelings aren't always pretty, they are dark and they run deeply into every aspect of our lives. It isn't easy and I really feel that you have to get to a dark point in order to make a change. This site is a good first step, setting goals, and using the message boards really helps. You have no idea how amazing exercise will change your life. It isn't always fun, but it's what you need. You've inspired me just now. I have been procrastinating all morning to not do it, it's freezing outside, my gym is closed, but I need a workout. Time to tie up those running shoes and put on the layers. Thanks, and you can do this. I try to tell myself this when I see people in the media with their success stories, you deserve the same. Make it a great new year, the choice is yours! Oh, and I hear ya about the counselor thing, it is way too expensive. I even tried to find a free one through my county health department that was allegedly free but the woman on the phone told me I had to pay 75 per session. It's frustrating when you know you need help but cannot financially make it happen.

Stick with this site.........you are young..............you can do this.................sucess is not fast but over a long period of time!!!! Its' never too late!

I started at 260 about 3 months ago. I'm down to about 242 right now. Its a long journey and I have bad days, but you have to make the effort to get back on track. Even if you stop tracking for a week or a month, mfp will always welcome you back with open arms and lots of support.


Find a support group on the message boards here! My group of people have become some great friends :-D

Well said PR, thanks.

Like my new sig line?

Well, I guess the truth Is I dot know exactly what to cook... Eating chicken every day gets boring.. im not a fan of fish or seafood at all, and steak is to fatty.. so I guess I just dont know alot of other healthy meal foods other then chicken..

But only ONE kitchen and it seems like someone is ALWAYS using it.. so drive thru is really all I have unless I just put my foot down and say its MY kitchen time lol.

Reading your post was like reading my own diary. When I started I felt the same way about healthy food being boring. I thought chicken was the only healthy dinner. There are a lot of other options out there which you will find as you go through this journey. Try doing an internet search for healthy dinners. A couple sites I recommend are:

www.recipezaar.com
www.allrecipes.com
www.cookinglight.com

Also try finding lowfat and low calories of foods you like. That can easily cut your calories in half. An example would be bread. Sarah Lee Light Bread is only 45 cals a slice.

As for sharing the kitchen and not having time to do meals I suggest making stuff the night before and buy healthy options that you can grab on the go like granola bars and apples. I make my breakfast and lunch for the next day after my daughter goes to bed and before I go to sleep. It's good because it's nice and quiet and I don't have to rush or make quick decisions.

I see your meals and while you weren't too bad on calories the quality of the food wasn't the greatest. You mentioned earlier not having energy. The foods you put into your body fuel your energy. Foods high in fat and sugar typically make me feel like crap if I eat too much. Don't get me wrong I enjoy fast food every once in a while but most of the time I try to pick better foods. Lots of vegetables and fruits could make a difference for you. Like people said earlier it's really important to log your food, even if you go over. It's important to know each day what you consumed. Sometimes I will go over in calories and I try to correct that by going for a walk after dinner or doing some other exercise.

When I started I felt so torn because I have a great husband and beautiful daughter but I hated my image. Which brings me to a good point. I am not a counselor but changing the way you think of yourself in the situation could help. What I mean is you kept saying you hate yourself but everything you listed that you hate was physical. Try being more specific about what you're feeling. Like " I really hate the way I look and the fact that my weight slows me down" instead of just I hate myself. When we say that to ourselves over and over again it can become true when really we only dislike a portion of ourselves.

Most importantly don't give up. There will be days when you stumble. I've had weeks when I gained weight, many of us have. But overall I keep working and losing weight. Maybe you'll eat like it's your last meal on earth and totally blow your calories for the day (Believe me I've eaten my daily calories in one meal before) or maybe you'll go a week without exercising. But the important thing is to keep moving forward and know that every little bit matters. If you don't have time and energy to exercise, start with a five minute walk. Take your son on a walk to check the mail and around the block. Then next week go two blocks. As you exercise more you will find more energy, I promise! You have to take care of you in order to be able to take care of your husband and son.

Sorry, I know that was a lot but I hope it helps.

Well, I guess the truth Is I dot know exactly what to cook... Eating chicken every day gets boring.. im not a fan of fish or seafood at all, and steak is to fatty.. so I guess I just dont know alot of other healthy meal foods other then chicken..

I bought ALLI the other day and have been on it for 2 days now...

I havent had ANY nasty side effects. But I have been eating an all drive thru diet. Mainly because I dont necessarily have a kitchen available during the day. Due to wanting to save money while we are in college my husband and me, and your little boy are staying with his family.. they have a HUGE 7 bed 3 bath house so there is plenty of room.

But only ONE kitchen and it seems like someone is ALWAYS using it.. so drive thru is really all I have unless I just put my foot down and say its MY kitchen time lol.

My diet example from yeasterday

Breakfast:
Taco bell
Taco - 190 calories 8 grams of fat
cinnamin twists - 160 calories 5 grams of fat
coffee w/ cream and equal - 60 calories 6 grams of fat

Snack 1
Mc Donalds
Fruit & Yogurt Parfait
160 calories 2 grams of fat

Pretzels
110 calories 1 gram of fat

Lunch:
Wendys
Chilli - Large
280 calories 9 grams of fat

100 calorie pack of cookies
100 calories 3.5 grams of fat

Dinner

Taco Bell

taco
190 calories 8 grams of fat

Cinnamin twists
160 calories 5 grams of fat

fruit and yogurt parfait
160 calories 2 grams of fat

had some pretzels after that
110 calories 1 gram of fat

Total: 1,570calories 49.5 grams of fat

Yikes. How does that much drive thru help you save money? There are lots of cheap, minimum prep groceries to keep on hand. Sandwich bread and meat and lettuce and tomato and mustard, salad stuff (baby romaine or baby spinach packs, cucumbers, artichoke hearts, chickpeas, feta cheese , baby carrots... you get the idea), canned soups, kashi granola bars, frozen waffles, cereal, milk... etc, etc, etc. And steak can be lean. ANYTHING can fit into your way of eating like Pheonix Rising said, but you have to make allowances for it. And I strongly suggest whole natural foods.

I eat a lot of fast food myself...as I send my hubby out to get me a grilled chicken caesar salad from McDonald's. Sometimes I get stuck on the same foods and eat them all of the time. Right now I have been eating tostadas everyday. It's the mission tostadas, 2 of them, put on some fat free beans, shredded cheese and put them in the oven until the cheese melts. Then I top them w lettuce, tomato and salsa. Yum! Also, you can make little pizzas w low cal english muffins, topped w pizza sauce, mozzarella and pepperoni slices.

Honey, there's your problem. Wow,,, that's a really really awful day. I don't think I've eaten that much fast food in the month of December, let alone one day.

Chicken is good if it's prepared well, but also,,,
Lean pork loin (a little bbq sauce, yumm)
Sliced ham,
Lean steak,
Just about any fish,
Turkey (I have a jillion ways to work the bigbird :bigsmile: ).

All of these are great, and that's just the meats.

Green veggies are fantastic, the best thing you can eat.
Simple starches and grains are fine as long as you don't get too much. I do a cooker of rice at least twice a week.
A good salad rocks,,, and if yours doesn't it's not a good salad. Recipes on this site,,,

Fresh fruits rock - I'd honestly rather have a good honeycrisp apple than a cupcake. Don't go too nuts, they're sugary, but they should definitely be part of your plan.

Soup is the killer app, a big pot of soup is good for dinner 3 (non-consecutive) nights and it's healthy and lo-cal and good.

You're going to need some kitchen time... you cannot eat well ordering out of a window. I'm assuming that the people you live with love you,,, and if they do then they won't mind sharing with you and helping you do what you need.

BTW - the fast food ain't good for the kid either,,, he's learning how to eat and forming habits that'll last a lifetime right now. Teach him well.

You can do this,,,

My advice is to do something each day that will make you feel better about yourself. Exercise, say "no" to an unhealthy food, or talk to a MFP friend about your goals. It seems like bonding with your son is seriously important to you--so make him a part of your new lifestyle!

I have a health condition that really limits what exercise I can do, but I try to walk my dog every single day and it's really motivational for me. Try putting your son in the stroller and going for a 30 or 45 minute walk. After a few weeks of regular walking, you'll be able to use a baby backpack or a big scarf to carry him against your chest. Walk at the same time every day to make it a habit. Once your muscles are used to his extra weight, start carrying him around the house or use the baby backpack when you go to the grocery store instead of pushing him around in the cart. Change doesn't happen overnight; it's something you have to chip away at every day. Use your son as your motivation: it will change both your lives!

Welcome & Good Luck! We're all rooting for you! :flowerforyou: