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degausser234
degausser234 Posts: 157 Member
in Chit-Chat
I was just wondering, how would you feel if your bf/gf/spouse/etc. spoke to an ex on a regular bases? Under which circumstances would it bother you or not?

- Jenny
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  • degausser234
    degausser234 Posts: 157 Member
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    bump
  • melinadanielle
    melinadanielle Posts: 280
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    depending on how close they are and the terms they broke up on, i think i would be a little upset with it. im just glad my boyfriend hates his ex with a passion of a million burning suns ahah.
  • torygirl79
    torygirl79 Posts: 307 Member
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    Unfortunately sometimes it's inevitable, especially if they have children together, but also in circumstances like still working together.

    There are also relationships that died so long ago all feelings are dead. Would I feel less insecure about an ex from 10 years ago when both have been in several relationships since than an ex from 6 months ago who could still be carrying s flame? Absolutely,

    The circumstances it is not acceptable is when it's done behind their partner's back. Are they willing to see their ex with you there? If not, then there is a problem.
  • Haylz_ish
    Haylz_ish Posts: 80
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    If you trust your partner then it shouldn't bother you at all
  • melcpia
    melcpia Posts: 118 Member
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    It depends on which EX it is! Hubby and I have been together 16 years and I adore one of his ex's, she's actually our sons god mother :bigsmile: If it was the either of the other 2 I'd probably have a hissy fit. #1 I don't like and # 2 was a crazy stalker even after we got married. As for me, I don;t talk to any of mine...cant be bothered really!
  • lifeissweet89
    lifeissweet89 Posts: 47
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    Trust IS a big part of getting through this BUT I think it's normal too feel a little jealous (and worried). Like @melinadaniell said, it also depends on which circumstances they broke up upon and how close they are.

    It would personally bother me a bit but I would let it be because I trust him. I mean if there were anything else going on (knocking on wood) then the truth would present itself and you would know.

    Don't let it get to you so much that it creates more trouble in your relationship. Don't be your own worst enemy.
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
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    My ex is one of my best friends. We were best friends when we were together and we always will be. It's been a long time and we're no longer who we were when we were together and that part's just not there anymore. Friendship is all there will ever be and whoever I'm with just has to be okay with that.
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
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    I was just wondering, how would you feel if your bf/gf/spouse/etc. spoke to an ex on a regular bases? Under which circumstances would it bother you or not?

    - Jenny

    My SO knows there is one girl that I cannot stand him talking to - it turns me into a raging ***** and has come close to messing up our relationship. The reason it pisses me off so much? The content of his messages to her.

    All his other exes I have no problems with
  • chasecarlt0n
    chasecarlt0n Posts: 14
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    I still talk to my ex on a regular basis and he talked to one of his exes a lot too. But as long as neither of them crossed boundaries, I didn't care.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    I speak with my ex readily and I'm seeing somherzeone new atm. Whilst I love my ex to pieces and will do anything for her she has made it clear we can only be friends. So, we chat, help and advise each other on things. If the new partner doesn't like, then the new one would be over.
  • whiskeycharged
    whiskeycharged Posts: 400 Member
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    I speak with my ex readily and I'm seeing somherzeone new atm. Whilst I love my ex to pieces and will do anything for her she has made it clear we can only be friends. So, we chat, help and advise each other on things. If the new partner doesn't like, then the new one would be over.

    that's kinda bogus man. sounds like she is over you but your not over her. drop it like it's hot and don't risk someone new for something that will never be. just my opinion but

    loss_for_words.gif
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    I'm still friends with my ex-bf. We were together for six years. That's kind of like a marriage. It was over halfway through though really... so, it's more like we were good friends than lovers toward the end. He was also someone who helped me in a lot of ways, just learning to deal with life. So he's very special to me because he stood by me as I dealt with some emotional/mental difficulties. My husband understands all this and knows we are nothing more than good friends. He is welcome in our house at any time and comes to visit us on occasion. He even gave us a wedding gift.

    As for my husband's ex. That was over years before he and I met. They aren't friends, though I'm sure he wishes her well and doesn't want anything bad for her of course. I think she made it clear to one of his friends a couple years ago that she'd be interested in him again... he made it clear that he would never open that up again.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    I speak with my ex readily and I'm seeing somherzeone new atm. Whilst I love my ex to pieces and will do anything for her she has made it clear we can only be friends. So, we chat, help and advise each other on things. If the new partner doesn't like, then the new one would be over.

    that's kinda bogus man. sounds like she is over you but your not over her. drop it like it's hot and don't risk someone new for something that will never be. just my opinion 'ut

    loss_for_words.gif

    No, I've had enough of OH's saying what I can and cannot think and people I can meet. If anyone I meet doesn't like it, then they aren't for me.

    I make this clear tho, its to the new OH to decide if thats ok with them.
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
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    I speak with my ex readily and I'm seeing somherzeone new atm. Whilst I love my ex to pieces and will do anything for her she has made it clear we can only be friends. So, we chat, help and advise each other on things. If the new partner doesn't like, then the new one would be over.

    that's kinda bogus man. sounds like she is over you but your not over her. drop it like it's hot and don't risk someone new for something that will never be. just my opinion 'ut

    No, I've had enough of OH's saying what I can and cannot think and people I can meet. If anyone I meet doesn't like it, then they aren't for me.

    I make this clear tho, its to the new OH to decide if thats ok with them.

    loss_for_words.gif

    I love this gif, btw
  • KravMark
    KravMark Posts: 308 Member
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    My wife is super jealous of any girl who pays attention to me . And as for ex's , they are totally off limits to me even on a friendship basis. In her defense I sometimes have a flirty personality
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
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    To the OP, there are too many variables for any of us to help you. My husband has kids by his ex. They've gone out to eat together, alone, especially when there's something serious to discuss about the kids. They are friends, I guess.

    The question really is for you, OP: How do YOU feel about it? It seems (I could be wrong) like you are unhappy with it, and you are asking us to tell you that you are correct about that. But human relationships are a unique dynamic. If you are unhappy with it, that's not abnormal, and you need to talk to your SO.
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
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    I am still friends with all of my ex girlfriends, we chat via facebook. Been with my wife for 20 years... I ain't running off anytime soon.

    ex-girlfriends= been there done that, if it was good I would have stuck around, but no reason not to be social. (works both ways)
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    Totally depends on the situation
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
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    I am still friends with all of my ex girlfriends, we chat via facebook. Been with my wife for 20 years... I ain't running off anytime soon.

    ex-girlfriends= been there done that, if it was good I would have stuck around, but no reason not to be social. (works both ways)

    That's how I feel about exes too.. buuuut when messages to said exes involve such things as "I miss our pillow talk" tthen crazy jealous b!tch from hell comes out. :laugh:
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    i hate it, and they know

    they stopped many many years ago, and now it is sort of awkward whenever they are around common friends, but at least they know their boundaries finally

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