Relationships

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  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
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    My wife is super jealous of any girl who pays attention to me . And as for ex's , they are totally off limits to me even on a friendship basis. In her defense I sometimes have a flirty personality

    My husband and I both have flirty personalities :wink:

    It took some getting used to for both of us not to be jealous tyrants of one another. But that doesn't mean a person can't be (distantly) vigilant of cross signs.

    I used to be the jealous type. It doesn't work. It pushes people away. However, I'm not going to be duped and take everything at face value if something seems amiss.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    I was just wondering, how would you feel if your bf/gf/spouse/etc. spoke to an ex on a regular bases? Under which circumstances would it bother you or not?

    - Jenny

    My SO knows there is one girl that I cannot stand him talking to - it turns me into a raging ***** and has come close to messing up our relationship. The reason it pisses me off so much? The content of his messages to her.

    All his other exes I have no problems with

    what is the content? what i found works for me, is be more present, and kill ppl with kindness. if there are issues, and you are around with a smile about it, the girl won't be around for long.
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
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    I was just wondering, how would you feel if your bf/gf/spouse/etc. spoke to an ex on a regular bases? Under which circumstances would it bother you or not?

    - Jenny

    My SO knows there is one girl that I cannot stand him talking to - it turns me into a raging ***** and has come close to messing up our relationship. The reason it pisses me off so much? The content of his messages to her.

    All his other exes I have no problems with

    what is the content? what i found works for me, is be more present, and kill ppl with kindness. if there are issues, and you are around with a smile about it, the girl won't be around for long.

    wrote some of it further up. It's from a long time ago, and right after we started dating, but I found it completely inappropriate and showed a total lack of respect for our relationship. We broke up for about a month and it lingered in our relationship for a while. he now has absolutely no contact with that girl after understanding how incredibly insecure that made me and that the insecurity in turn made me feel extremely jealous. I have never been the jealous girlfriend so for me it was something new and evry difficult to deal with.
  • mcedes02
    mcedes02 Posts: 56 Member
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    My hubby unfortunately HAS to talk to his ex wife. They have kids together. She enjoys making everyone's life miserable though and that makes it hard to deal with. I don't care if he talks to her otherwise. My feelings are if he wants to go back to that over me...then I'll pack for him!! But we've been together 8yrs so I'm really not worried about it
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
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    I'll echo someone who answered earlier: if/when they hide it, you should be worried.
  • WhatHayleyEats
    WhatHayleyEats Posts: 42
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    I believe that your ex is your ex for a reason. So, unless you have kids, you should cut all ties with them out of respect for your new partner.
  • natzkj
    natzkj Posts: 127 Member
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    It would me because they are an ex for a reason (unless they had kids)
  • bii14
    bii14 Posts: 192
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    it would be a big bother for me for if they have ended their relationship whats the point of living it half way! ... and im sure it would bother him equally or more if i talked to my ex. But there might also be a case where its just on the basis of a formal relationship... than that could be acceptable
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
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    I really guess it is how comfortable you are, I mean my wife and I are both extremely flirty people, but as I said together 20 years, we know everything and do not hide anything.

    I'll put it this way, she was at work and their power went out... she texted me.

    "Bummer the power went out at work"

    I replied, " that stinks, well no making out with anyone in the dark!"

    she replies, " darn, how did you know? LOL"

    you gotta laugh peeps, or it's no fun
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    i hate it, and they know

    they stopped many many years ago, and now it is sort of awkward whenever they are around common friends, but at least they know their boundaries finally

    Well aren't you a treat....

    I speak to quite a few of my exes and generally have done. Unless something really bad happens then I don't see any reason not to. The relationship side of it may have broken down, but that's no reason to ignore each other forever.

    If my gf had an issue with it, then that would be her issue. That's not to say I wouldn't care, but I wouldn't not see a friend because my gf was irrationally jealous.

    I couldn't be in a situation like the one the above poster's bf is in where they have to feel awkward around each other, but that's ok because 'they know their boundaries finally'...
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
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    I really guess it is how comfortable you are, I mean my wife and I are both extremely flirty people, but as I said together 20 years, we know everything and do not hide anything.

    I'll put it this way, she was at work and their power went out... she texted me.

    "Bummer the power went out at work"

    I replied, " that stinks, well no making out with anyone in the dark!"

    she replies, " darn, how did you know? LOL"

    you gotta laugh peeps, or it's no fun

    We do that sort of stuff too. Like I said, I have never been the jealous GF to him or anyone else, except with that one chick, but that is because I feel he crossed a line by writing some of those things in the past.
  • NettyIOM
    NettyIOM Posts: 44 Member
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    I was just wondering, how would you feel if your bf/gf/spouse/etc. spoke to an ex on a regular bases? Under which circumstances would it bother you or not?

    - Jenny

    It is totally natural to feel a little bothered, but, if he's being completely open with it, then you should have nothing to worry about. Like @yksdoris said, if/when they hide it, you should be worried.

    Have you tried talking to him? Tell him your concerns?

    I know from previous experience that jealousy is a horrible thing. It eats away at you and makes you become suspicious and bitter. It'll ultimately ruin a relationship.

    I hope you're able to work it out.
  • placebomonkey
    placebomonkey Posts: 104 Member
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    i hate it, and they know

    they stopped many many years ago, and now it is sort of awkward whenever they are around common friends, but at least they know their boundaries finally

    Well aren't you a treat....

    I speak to quite a few of my exes and generally have done. Unless something really bad happens then I don't see any reason not to. The relationship side of it may have broken down, but that's no reason to ignore each other forever.

    If my gf had an issue with it, then that would be her issue. That's not to say I wouldn't care, but I wouldn't not see a friend because my gf was irrationally jealous.

    I couldn't be in a situation like the one the above poster's bf is in where they have to feel awkward around each other, but that's ok because 'they know their boundaries finally'...

    lol ;)
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
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    I believe that your ex is your ex for a reason. So, unless you have kids, you should cut all ties with them out of respect for your new partner.
    Okay, so it didn't work out romantically with an ex. That means I have to stop caring about them? Were you not friends when you were together? Why does the friednship have to end? My ex and I know each other better than anyone. We had went through some really traumatic things together. He's a part of my past and my past is what makes up who I am. When we broke up there were hurt feelings, but we got over it. There is no desire to get back together. But there is a desire to not lose the kinship we had. I don't think it's fair or right for someone to demand I give that up.
  • bikebanditandy
    bikebanditandy Posts: 15 Member
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    Mine did, and after discussing it was deemed not acceptable, especially as she was also asking if his penis was still pierced... :/
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
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    Mine did, and after discussing it was deemed not acceptable, especially as she was also asking if his penis was still pierced... :/


    well was it? :laugh:

    definitely would have pissed me off

    1338528774animated-gifs-6soapoprah-gif.gif
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
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    OUCh why would you do that...

    for teh record mine is not, I am happy the way it is :)
  • KravMark
    KravMark Posts: 308 Member
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    I agree with elizabat that its possible to maintain a platonic relationship after things break off.... Allycat I love that pic , lol
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
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    I agree with elizabat that its possible to maintain a platonic relationship after things break off.... Allycat I love that pic , lol

    :laugh:

    you and I both laugh, but ask my SO, I probably have looked like that once or twice after finding things I didn't like in his contact with one of his exes. I am ashamed to admit it tbh, but hey.. we can't always be perfect- right? :embarassed:
  • KravMark
    KravMark Posts: 308 Member
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    Nope perfect is not where I'm at either especially when it comes to angry, though angry can sometimes be very attractive. :) I once heard a quote that its about progress not perfection anyways. Btw, theres. Lathing wrong w getting angry when it's warranted

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